The Secret History of Hatty Ha Ha ... Begins

by S M Mala

  ‘Today you haven’t been very nice.’

  ‘It’s my time of the month,’ she said, staring into his eyes. ‘I get grouchy.’

  ‘Where did you go yesterday?’ Jake asked, stepping closer.

  ‘I needed to clear my head.’

  Hatty turned around and he suspected she was missing something out.

  ‘I want to ask you a few questions and you need to answer them honestly before I tell you anything, are we agreed?’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because you’re not keeping your part of our deal so you owe me.’

  Jake saw her twitch.

  ‘I don’t owe you anything!’ she barked, turning to look at him quickly. ‘Go on,’ Hatty beckoned him with her hand. ‘Ask away!’

  ‘What are you doing with Philip on Sunday mornings?’

  He watched her examine his face for a moment.

  ‘Selling things in the market.’

  ‘What things?’

  ‘Wood.’

  ‘What wood?’

  ‘Drift wood,’ she shrugged. ‘Next question.’

  ‘Why are you covered in saw dust and why does it come from the house?’

  That’s when he knew he was on to something as her eyes widened then darted around.

  ‘I’m cleaning it.’

  ‘Though you’ve been told to keep away?’

  ‘Correct,’ she sighed and started to look madder than usual. ‘But I can’t do everything I’m told so tough!’

  ‘What do you think about me?’

  Jake swore she looked like she was going to bite him at the question and stepped back.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Tell me.’

  ‘You’re Mister Murray’s son.’

  ‘You know what I mean.’

  ‘I don’t.’

  ‘Just tell me.’

  ‘Why?’

  Hatty stepped to the side to get around him and he stood in her way as she tried to move before she pushed him. Jake grabbed her very smooth arms and leaned down, kissing her on the lips as she stared at him for a moment. He felt a little unexpected somersault in his gut and tried not to let it show on his face.

  ‘I can’t stop thinking about you,’ he said, feeling his breathing become rapid.

  ‘You must have malaria.’

  ‘Hatty,’ he said and she tried to pull away but he could tell from her eyes she was a bit confused. ‘Kiss me.’

  ‘No,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘I’ve been told to keep away from you and I’ve ruined your life, I don’t want to get-.’

  Jake pulled her head and pushed his mouth towards her, kissing her gently before their tongues met. He felt a jolt in his crotch as he entwined his arms around her, searching her mouth with his tongue as she rolled hers around his. He crouched down to pull her hips against his, knowing his hard on was pressing against her pubic bone. The man knew exactly what he wanted to do.

  ‘No,’ she said, pulling away and shaking her head.

  ‘Why not?’ he said, grabbing her closer as she gently pushed him away.

  ‘It’s not right.’

  ‘It’s very right.’

  ‘You’re a slut!’ she blurted out as he shook his head in astonishment. ‘You’re loose and fast with women and that’s not me. If you want to have sex, go find Gina Glory Glory.’

  ‘I see,’ he said, standing still as she stepped back.

  ‘I do like you.’

  ‘That’s good.’

  ‘And I’m very attracted to you but I get the impression being with you isn’t a good idea.’

  ‘We don’t have to have sex,’ he blatantly lied.

  ‘Good because we’re not going to,’ she said, smiling and shaking her head. ‘We’d both get into trouble and Mister Murray and Aunt Delores will be mad, not to mention your Aunt Caroline.’ Hatty stared at him for a moment. ‘You were brought up by your aunt too. So much we have in common.’

  ‘I have cousins, so I wasn’t an only child, like you, so to speak.’

  ‘I am a lonely child,’ she quietly mumbled.

  ‘I said ‘only’.’

  ‘I heard what you said.’

  For a few minutes they stared at each other and Jake didn’t know what was going round in her head.

  ‘You kiss well,’ he eventually commented as she smiled.

  ‘I practice on Barney,’ she smirked. ‘And the cows in the field.’

  ‘They’re obviously very good kissers but I knew you’d kiss well, I could tell.’

  ‘What else can you tell about me?’ she asked suspiciously, but her smile gave away she thought he was being funny. ‘And you haven’t told me anything.’

  ‘Here’s the deal.’

  ‘Another one?’

  ‘For every piece of new information I tell you, we have to kiss.’

  ‘What?’ she said, letting out a massive groan. ‘You want to teach me swimming naked and now you want to kiss? Gina Glory Glory got a handful with you, hasn’t she?’

  ‘I’m young and l like sex!’

  ‘Which you’re not getting from me,’ she scowled. ‘Me don’t like de idea of ya white boys dipping your candles in me molasses, ya know? Tinkin’ we gals beggin’ far it.’

  ‘Is that what you say to all the men who come your way?’ he laughed. ‘Your accent is crap. You sound like an Indian who lives in New Orleans.’ She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. ‘Naked swimming lessons, a kiss for every piece of information I give you and all I ask in return is you show me some local hospitality.’

  ‘Gina Glory Glory doin’ dat!’

  ‘We have my jeep and could start now, unless you want to get naked and swim?’

  ‘I’ve got my period, I can’t,’ she said.

  Jake knew she was waiting for a reaction.

  ‘Let’s go for a ride.’

  Half an hour later, he screeched to a halt on the road as she thumped his arm.

  ‘What?’ he said, trying not to laugh.

  ‘You drive like a maniac! Can’t you see the animals coming across? Don’t you know there’s a lot of farmland? How the hell can you swerve like that and nearly put me into a trench! You have no idea!’

  Hatty nostrils were flared. Jake knew she was petrified of his driving but he was stepping up the speed just to see her reaction.

  ‘I’m a safe driver,’ he innocently said.

  ‘I hate heights, I hate winding roads and I hate driving!’ she said furiously. ‘Sometimes the road collapses and all bad things can happen.’

  ‘We’re half way up a hill.’

  ‘You don’t know how the locals drive, some of them have no licences and they’re blind as hell!’

  ‘While I’m compiling this list about your parents, I’m going to do another one of all the things you’re afraid of.’

  He watched her rummage around in the pocket on the leg of her dungarees and pull out a bottle of mosquito repellent.

  ‘You reminded me,’ she said, spraying it on her arms and ankles before putting it back. ‘Don’t you ever get bitten?’

  ‘No,’ he said, waving his hand across his face so as not to choke. ‘That really stinks!’

  ‘I like it,’ she smiled happily. ‘Reminds me of the doctor’s surgery.’

  ‘You’re strange,’ he said, seriously thinking it but not wanting to smile at the fact he liked it.

  ‘And you haven’t told me anything interesting or new about my life,’ she added.

  ‘When we get to where we’re going, I’ll let you know.’

  ‘And you’ll tell me who told you?’

  ‘I can’t betray my confidences.’

  ‘Bloody journalists!’ she barked as he laughed and drove in the direction as instructed.

  This time they were further inland and there were more people around.

  ‘Where are we?’ he asked.

  ‘Surprise,’ she said, getting out of the jeep and rolling up her dungaree bottoms before flicking a glance. ‘Follow me.’

 
‘No tricks.’

  ‘When have I tricked you?’ she snapped. ‘More like the other way round.’

  Hatty marched off ahead as Jake stood there and thought about their kiss, wanting to do it again and knowing he had his hands full. Something inside him stirred as he knew she liked him but seemed to be putting up a fight. Then it dawned on him what he was going to say without upsetting her.

  ‘Come on!’ she said, beckoning him. He walked quickly towards her and she held on for dear life on the railings. They went down a narrow path before stopping. ‘Look!’

  There was a waterfall and a few people standing on the side, some splashing around in the water and a queue of boys jumping off into the pool below.

  ‘It’s beautiful,’ he said, gasping at the tropical paradise. ‘And much bigger than yours.’

  ‘Mine is private other than tourist trespassers,’ she said, turning around to look at him. Jake examined her against the breath taking backdrop and didn’t know which one was more beautiful. He realised it was the one with the pouty lips. ‘Tell me something.’

  ‘A kiss for each piece of information?’

  ‘If it’s good and in private,’ she said, looking around.

  ‘Well-.’

  ‘And you have to write this all down and print it in a list or email me the document,’ she added.

  ‘Email?’

  ‘Yes because I doubt you’ll be able to find everything out in a fortnight.’

  ‘Maybe I will.’

  ‘Let’s be honest,’ she laughed. ‘I doubt it.’

  Jake shook his head trying to hide his annoyance with the comment as she smiled brightly at him.

  ‘Are you trying to wind me up?’ he eventually said.

  ‘Must have hit a sensitive spot,’ she smirked. ‘I mean, you’ve just finished your degree so who knows if you’ll make a good journalist.’

  ‘I have a good sense for sifting out bullshit.’

  ‘Another thing we have in common.’ Hatty smiled, letting out a little laugh then touched his hand gently. ‘Come and sit with me.’ She held his hand and led him around to some rocks, perching herself on the higher one as he sat below. ‘What news?’ Turning to look up at her, Jake knew he’d taken on this responsibility and instantly felt anxious. ‘Is it bad?’

  ‘Your mother was born with a heart condition and she was told not to have children but fell pregnant with you. Her death wasn’t because of child birth, it was down to her heart giving up due to the stress.’ Jake looked at Hatty’s alarmed eyes as he said it. ‘Have you been checked out?’ She pulled up her knees close to her chest and was thinking hard. ‘Have you?’

  ‘I’m perfectly healthy thanks,’ she said quietly. ‘Mister Murray makes sure when I go to London every year I get a thorough health check.’

  ‘You go to London every year?’ he said, yet another surprise coming his way.

  ‘I spend my birthday here, every year, then I fly out to London the day afterwards and visit my mother’s grave. She’s buried in Mortlake Cemetery in West London. I stay there for a couple of weeks then come home. This teacher job isn’t going to stop me from going so they can stick it.’

  ‘You really don’t want to do that job, do you?’

  ‘Tell me more. Did you find out anything about my daddy?’ Jake flinched at the question as Hatty leaned closer. ‘I won’t get upset, I promise.’

  ‘Your father left your mother soon after the marriage as he-.’

  ‘He wanted to marry her to get some sort of legalisation for staying on the island. The man was an illegal immigrant from Brazil.’ Hatty shrugged. ‘I know that. I also know he was a drunk and womaniser. I’m not sure why she married the waster but here I am. And in spite of knowing she was carrying his child, my mother had me and what makes it more special, she knew she shouldn’t. So my assessment of the situation is I am special.’ She smiled brightly. ‘And he was a carpenter by trade so that’s all I’ve inherited from him, not even the alcoholic gene.’

  ‘You’re amazing,’ he sighed wistfully at her as she laughed.

  ‘I know.’

  The following day, she met him just after lunch by the rum shack outside the estate. He could tell she’d been up to something as she was covered in wood chippings but had obviously tried to dust herself down. Hatty jumped off her bike and sat down next to him as he sipped on a beer.

  ‘What’ve you been up to?’ he said, pulling a wood shaving out of her hair.

  ‘I’m thirsty,’ she replied and took a swig from his bottle before grimacing. ‘I prefer Belgium beer myself.’

  ‘Me not gonna serve ya anymore when ya come a beggin’ for a drink!’ snapped Marjory. ‘Ya want a drink? Soft, mind.’

  ‘Do you do caffeine free diet cola?’ she asked, turning to grin at the lady. Jake noticed the woman roll her eyes. ‘I didn’t think so, so a fat cola it is please, with a chunk of lime in the top of the bottle.’

  ‘Ya little…,’ muttered the woman.

  Jake looked at Hatty smiling at nothing and wondered what time he could get his lips around hers. Marjory banged the bottle on the table and Hatty laughed at the lime wedged into the neck. She pushed it down watching the drink fizz over the top.

  ‘Put it on my tab,’ smiled Hatty.

  ‘Ya not pay for nuttin, as ya well know,’ said Marjory, wiping the counter. ‘Go pester someone else.’

  ‘I will in a moment but I’m tired.’

  ‘Hatty, ya look a mess,’ the woman said, shaking her head. ‘See how Mister Jacob look nice and ya look so scruffy.’

  ‘He preens himself whereas I don’t care.’

  ‘Obviously,’ he said, taking a swig of his beer. ‘She can look pretty sometimes when she washes.’

  ‘Dat a rare ting. Mind, ya can smell Hatty comin’ a mile away wid dat stink she put on.’

  ‘I’m ignoring the pair of you as I’m in a very good mood,’ announced Hatty standing up. ‘Can I leave my bike here?’

  ‘No!’ snapped Marjory.

  ‘I’m going to,’ smiled Hatty at the woman. ‘And have you got any plantain chips? Not the soft stuff, the crisp ones.’

  ‘What if me ‘ave?’

  ‘Can I have some please?’ The next thing Jake saw was a flying yellow bag coming towards Hatty as she caught it and laughed. ‘Put it on the tab.’

  ‘Of course, me lady,’ laughed Marjory.

  Jake realised there was so much affection for Hatty Ha Ha, it made him want to give her a hug. When she caught him looking at her, she frowned, so he quickly changed his mind.

  ‘Today you have fourteen days left before you go home,’ she announced, pulling him to his feet as they walked down the road, once she had demolished her drink and crisps in two minutes flat. ‘And to be honest, I doubt if you could teach me to swim by then but I will try my best.’

  ‘Why don’t I teach you in the pool? It’s closer than going to your hideaway.’

  ‘No!’ she said, shaking her head from side to side. ‘I don’t want people to know I’m taking lessons from you. It’ll be surprise.’

  ‘And if I teach you in the pool, you won’t take your clothes off.’

  ‘I thought you got over that stage?’ she frowned.

  ‘And you owe me a kiss.’

  ‘I pay my debts but what news have you got for me today?’

  ‘Give me time.’

  ‘That is something I have a lot of.’

  They took a side path down the cove near the old house and she led him towards the rocks.

  ‘Before I had my accident with the sea,’ she said, looking across at them. ‘I’d hide away in here. I’d cycle from the house and play. Then I came here a few times, many years later with a friend, but I got scared. Today I’ll take you because the water is very calm and I can’t hear it talking to me.’

  ‘Talking to you?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said and huffed. ‘When the waves are really big and the sea is grey, I hear them growling. Freaks me out.’

  ‘You freak me
out,’ he said and she laughed.

  ‘I have to remember not to tell you too much as you’ll just think I’m mad.’

  ‘I don’t ‘think’.’

  Hatty walked off in her usually brusque manner as he followed. She stepped over the small wet rocks and round into the cave which looked like it was made of indigo stone inside.

  ‘This is incredible!’ Jake said, looking around. ‘The colour of the rock is intense.’

  ‘See,’ she said, pointing to the rock fragments and picking one up. ‘You can see the blue of the stone. I collect these.’ Hatty started putting the wet fragments in her pockets.

  ‘Why do you collect them?’

  ‘That’s another story.’

  ‘Oh and another thing-.’

  Before he knew it, Hatty had pushed him up against the wall and they were kissing frantically as he grabbed her tightly. Her arms were wrapped around his body and he felt the palm of her hands on his back. They came up for air after five minutes. Jake proceeded to kiss her neck.

  ‘Okay, that’s for the heart information,’ she said, stepping back and wiping the sides of her mouth with her fingers.

  ‘You can’t do that,’ he said, rearranging his hard on in his trousers.

  She smiled and bit her lip.

  ‘It’s better that it’s a surprise, don’t you think?’

  ‘You’re teasing me Harriet Harris.’

  ‘And you’re teasing me Jacob Logan.’

  As he looked at her standing, he realised she was more woman than girl and he’d never actually realised.

  ‘I want to kiss you again,’ he said, leaning closer. ‘Can I do that?’

  ‘Okay,’ she said, staring at his mouth as he leaned closer and the kiss was deep, long and slow.

  It was Jake who had to come up for air and examined her face close up as she grinned.

  ‘Where’s this leading to?’ he whispered kissing her very soft cheek.

  ‘I’m giving you an incentive to snoop around more.’

  Knowing full well what she was doing, Hatty kissed him again and felt his arms wrap around her body. His kisses were long and passionate, making her head whirl as every pore on her body yearned for the boy who didn’t find her attractive. In her little mind, she thought he might realise she wasn’t that bad without having to drop her knickers.

  ‘Barney’s a lucky dog,’ he said, kissing her cheek and then her neck.