The Secret History of Hatty Ha Ha ... Begins

by S M Mala

  ‘What ya doin’ out ‘ere?’

  ‘Went for a bike ride.’

  ‘In da rain?’ Thomas started to laugh loudly. ‘Ya went to dat old ‘ouse, me know.’

  ‘Who say?’ she snapped, turning to look at him. ‘Me not go there.’

  ‘Hatty, me know ya were dere.’ Thomas let out a sigh. ‘If ya auntie find out, she be mad.’

  ‘Then don’t say.’

  Just as they arrived at the estate, Hatty could see the boot of a large black car close and she knew Jake was either inside or soon to get in. She realised, humiliation and hurt aside, the need to say a final goodbye.

  It was now more important than ever if she was never to see him again.

  Soaking wet, she ran across the grounds and then stopped when she saw Murray and Jake walking out.

  ‘I just wanted to do something,’ Hatty said to Murray as she walked up the steps.

  ‘You’re going to catch your death,’ he said, shaking his head and she knew Murray was aware something was up.

  ‘I’ll get changed as soon as I speak to Jake.’

  ‘I’ll wait for you in the car,’ said Murray to Jake before turning to Hatty. ‘And you better explain to me later where you were last night.’

  Murray walked away and Hatty stood looking at the ground, taking the parcel out of the rucksack and handing it to him, still focussing her eyes at the floor.

  ‘This is for you,’ she said quietly, not wanting to show there were tears. ‘I’ve been working on it and I wanted you to have it.’

  ‘Hatty,’ she heard him gently say. ‘About yesterday, I-.’

  ‘I’m ashamed of myself Jake,’ Hatty gulped looking up into his eyes, tears dripping down her face as he seemed pained. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  ‘You don’t have to be sorry,’ he said sympathetically. ‘I was a little-.’

  ‘I thought you told people you loved them before you made love. I though that’s what you did and I’m so sorry. I’ve never done it before but now I know it upset you.’ Hatty burst into tears but as he stepped forward, she stepped back. ‘I saw you with Gina and I realised I’m a fool. How would you ever want me? I’m a stupid person for ever thinking that someone like you would want me. I want you to promise me one thing will you do that for me?’

  ‘Let me explain,’ Jake said and she could see he was getting upset. Hatty realised he probably just wanted to go away as fast as possible. ‘I-.’

  ‘I’m so ashamed for upsetting you. Promise me you’ll never come back here again, okay?’

  Before he could answer, she ran to the side of the house that led onto the field of trees, hiding in the grounds and crying her eyes out.

  Her heart had shattered by saying goodbye.

  The parcel was in his hands as they stood by the departure lounge. Jake hadn’t said a word to his father on the journey home. He couldn’t speak, knowing she didn’t want to see him again. Now he knew she had seen him with Gina.

  Jake felt ashamed but he had to go home. This wasn’t how he expected to end his holiday. He wondered if he’d see Hatty once more. There was a powerful feeling in his chest which he was trying to stop when he thought of her. As he looked at his father, it was if he knew what was going on in his head.

  ‘She’s not going anywhere,’ Murray said softly.

  ‘Dad I-.’

  ‘You’re nearly twenty two and she’s nearly twenty three, you have your lives ahead of you. Concentrate on your life while Hatty finds her feet.’

  ‘I’ve hurt her and-.’

  ‘If she truly likes you, she’ll forgive you, won’t she?’

  ‘I don’t think she ever will,’ he said sadly, trying not to betray how he felt. The tears stabbed in his eyes and there was a tremendous pain in his heart. ‘I can’t forgive myself.’

  Thirteen

  In bed with Serena, Jake rubbed her pale white skin before kissing her nose. They’d made love for most of the afternoon. He was pleased to be home, if only to get away from the confusion around his last few days on the island. Her big bright blue eyes were gazing up at him as he smiled.

  ‘You look amazing Jake, you really do,’ she said, her slender hand rubbing his extremely bronzed chest. ‘Very sexy and I’ve missed you so much.’

  ‘Me too,’ he said, before letting out a sigh.

  ‘Did you make any friends out there?’ she asked, putting her chin on his chest and looking up at him. ‘You’re so lucky your friends came over to see you. Wish I could have but working for ‘Vogue’ was good.’

  ‘Attractive men?’

  ‘Not as attractive as you,’ she sighed and kissed his lips lightly. Something wasn’t right, it felt different. He’d made love so ferociously that afternoon. The image of Hatty, on the ground naked, looking up at him in tears, was lodged into his head. ‘Are you alright?’

  ‘Still tired, I guess,’ he replied, getting up and looking at the package he’d left in the corner of his bedroom before going into the bathroom. ‘Where are we meeting tonight?’

  ‘McCann’s,’ she replied. He watched her extremely slim body get up off the bed before joining him in the bathroom. ‘Are you up for meeting our friends tonight or are you still recovering from doing nothing this summer?’

  ‘It’s been a week so I’m ready,’ he said, walking out of the bathroom and tapping her arse. ‘Back to normal.’

  Jake stopped at the package and picked it up, staring at the brown paper and tape used to secure whatever was inside.

  ‘A present for me?’ she asked, walking behind him and putting her arms around his back, propping her head in the crook of his neck.

  ‘There wasn’t anything good to buy for you, just lots of tat. I thought the perfume was a better idea.’

  He stared at the package.

  ‘So what’s that?’

  ‘A present. It’s probably something the charity shop wouldn’t accept,’ he said, forcing a smile.

  ‘Listen, we have a ‘bring and buy’ sale to raise money for the children affected by the tornado in Louisiana. If you don’t want it then you can donate it to me.’

  Serena walked back into the bathroom as he took the package to the living room, placed it on the table and looked for a pair of scissors. He took a deep breath before ripping open the layers of paper and packing until he came to the hard card board covering, which looked like a picture frame. Jake cut it open and stood back when he saw what Hatty had made for him.

  She’d carved in the frame the sea, greenery and a small fresh water pool, identical to hers. Within the wood she’d put chards of the blue rock for the sea.

  ‘Oh my god, that’s beautiful!’ said Serena, half-dressed and putting her hair up. ‘Now if you don’t want it then I’ll have it. It’d look perfect-.’

  ‘I’m keeping it,’ he said and wanted to cry when he saw the reflection of himself in the mirror. He turned it around and in the bottom left hand she’d engraved ‘Hatty Ha Ha’.

  The mirror said so much without saying anything. He realised she’d done it with so much care and detail, wanting him to remember her.

  ‘I think it’d look perfect in the living room,’ said Serena, grabbing it out of his hands and taking it away.

  He stood perfectly realising he’d missed Hatty so much that week, without his daily peek at her coming and goings. it felt strange to be without her and the mirror was now the closest thing.

  Her arms folded firmly across her chest, Hatty looked at the class of six year olds and pulled a face. It was her third day and it only confirmed she wasn’t cut out to be a teacher. She smiled at the kids with missing teeth, new teeth too big for their mouths and uniforms all perfectly turned out.

  She remembered how she felt like at being in school.

  The pain she had to endure.

  ‘Right, Mrs Jones is away today and I’m here to teach you something before lunch,’ she shrugged as the children eyed her suspiciously. ‘Not sure what but I’m sure you’ll occupy yourselves.’ Hatty smelt the food from
the canteen, which was the worst thing she’d ever tasted. She felt sorry for the children being forced to eat it as she had one mouthful and discreetly chucked it in the bin. ‘Do you like the lunches here?’

  Hatty scrunched up her nose at the thought of having to sit with the kids and eat it again.

  ‘Mammy says we ‘ave to eat what we are given because we pay for it,’ said a young girl called Keisha.

  She then saw Bennett eyeing her suspiciously.

  ‘Is there a problem Bennett?’

  ‘Is it true ya a witch?’ he said, as the children sniggered.

  ‘Depends how you define ‘witch’,’ came her reply. ‘You obviously think I am even though, not so long ago, I did save your sorry arse from drowning in a swimming pool.’

  ‘She said a rude word,’ one the kids said and Hatty smiled.

  ‘It’s not true if I’m stating a fact. His arse was sorry for falling in,’ she said defiantly.

  ‘My daddy say ya live in a big house with Mister Logan,’ a little boy called Kevin piped up. ‘Is he ya boyfriend?’

  ‘He’s old enough to be my father so he’s not. But Kevin, your mum’s the same age as me and isn’t she married to someone older than Mister Logan. I saw him bring you to school today.’

  ‘Dat my Uncle Robert,’ he said shrugging. ‘He not me daddy.’

  ‘I see,’ said Hatty, knowing Uncle Robert was indeed the young child’s father.

  The only person who obviously didn’t know was Uncle Robert’s wife and poor Kevin.

  ‘Why ya a teacher if ya not like children?’ said Susie smugly, looking at Hatty over her glasses.

  ‘Because I wanted my aunt to be proud,’ she huffed. ‘I had no choice.’

  ‘Your Aunt Delores is a snab, so my mammy says,’ Susie snootily replied.

  ‘Well at least she’s got something to be snabby about,’ smiled Hatty as the young girl gave her an evil glare.

  ‘My mammy said ya were kissing up a white boy. Master Jacob,’ replied Susie.

  Hatty immediately was pissed off with the comment as it hurt.

  ‘Ya like white boys, Miss Hatty?’ said another girl called Angela. ‘My daddy say they are bad and steal da money from da island. He say they play up badly when dey go out.’

  ‘I don’t go out with white boys, brown boys, yellow boys or black boys,’ Hatty replied, folding her arms firmly across her chest.

  ‘Ya like girls?’ asked Bennett, laughing.

  ‘I thought that’s what your mother did,’ smiled Hatty, knowing the children were going to get annoyed with her soon enough and complaints were sure to follow.

  ‘Ya not a nice lady, Miss Hatty,’ said Susie, whispering to the little girl next to her.

  ‘No I’m not,’ she said, looking out into the school yard. ‘But unfortunately you’re stuck with me until someone sees sense.’

  When the lunch bell rang, she marched the class to the dining room, knowing she had to sit with fifteen children at the table who didn’t like her. Bennett made a point of sitting next to her as the girls sat at the other end of the table. The spoon was tapped on the bottom of a pot to tell the children to line up for lunch.

  ‘Good luck children. I hope you come safely out the other side,’ Hatty smiled as they formed an orderly queue to be poisoned.

  She looked over at the other teachers who were looking at her and putting on fake smiles. Hatty didn’t care. She knew they thought she only got the job because of Murray and they were right.

  As they sat on the table, Hatty looked down at her food and swallowed hard. There was something that looked like mashed potato and plantain with a sauce containing over cooked chicken. She glanced at Bennett, who seemed scared to put it in his mouth, then at the other children staring at their trays. Looking around, she noticed the children on other tables were forcing the food down their throats as the teachers looked on.

  It’s then she noticed the teachers were eating packed lunches.

  ‘Poor things,’ Hatty said, instantly getting annoyed. ‘Put all your knives and forks down! We’re going on an adventure!’

  ‘Happy birthday, son,’ said Murray, hugging Jake in the restaurant. ‘I hope you don’t mind it just being us two, I wasn’t in the mood for Caroline today. Did you get the money?’

  ‘That was very generous.’

  ‘I’d have bought you a gift but I didn’t know what to get,’ Murray smiled, looking extremely smart in a suit, something he’d only wear in town while going to and fro from meetings. Jake examined his father’s long hair and goatee realising he was a cool dude. ‘I need a drink.’

  ‘Have you flown in from the island?’ Jake asked, desperately wanting to know about Hatty.

  It’d been six weeks. He realised the only person he could contact was Gina but was aware that would only be giving out mixed messages.

  ‘No,’ said Murray, clearing his voice and looking quizzically at his son. ‘I’ve been avoiding it.’

  ‘What’s happened?’

  Jake looked at his father who had his hand over his mouth before revealing a wide smiled.

  ‘You’ve not asked about Hatty since you left,’ Murray said. ‘I’m surprised when I talk to you, you never ask.’

  ‘I’ve forgotten about her,’ he lied, taking a sip of water.

  ‘So you don’t want to know how much trouble she’s in then?’ smiled Murray.

  ‘Is she okay?’ Jake felt his heart start to thump harder.

  ‘In Hatty words, depends on how you define ‘okay’.’

  ‘Where is she?’

  ‘Spain,’ smiled Murray, shaking his head. Jake was momentarily confused. ‘You see Miss Harris only managed to get herself sacked within a week of becoming a teacher.’ He started to laugh. ‘She walked out of the school with her class and went to a fried chicken shop for lunch, citing the food in the school wasn’t good enough to feed wild pigs.’

  ‘What did Delores say?’ His heart was beating furiously knowing Hatty was still on form. ‘She must’ve gone mad!’

  ‘Unfortunately I was in the cross fire.’

  ‘She didn’t touch Hatty, did she?’

  ‘Hatty, quite remarkably, sat quietly and accepted her aunt’s tyrannical outburst before walking to the kitchen and helping herself to some food. She then returned to the living room. Hatty told the pair of us she was going to London for her birthday therefore she wanted me to rearrange the flights. Then she proceeded to tell us she wanted to go to Europe for a few weeks and take a break from work.’ Murray laughed out loudly. ‘Hatty expressed concern about her mental well-being because she had to sit in a class of six year olds. Delores stormed out and Hatty smiled.’

  ‘Do you know where she is?’ he asked, seeing his father flinch.

  ‘Do you think I’d let her go off to Europe on her own? She might be twenty three but she’s too trusting.’ His father flicked him a glance. ‘Philip Isaac’s with her.’

  ‘Really?’ He took a deep breath. ‘Does she ask about me?’

  ‘No. She’s a bit like you,’ laughed Murray as he gestured to the waiter to come over. ‘Scotch on the rocks and for you?’

  ‘Beer,’ said Jake, put out she wasn’t interested.

  ‘How’s Serena?’

  ‘Fine,’ replied Jake, sullen faced. ‘She enjoyed her time at ‘Vogue’ and they’ve told her to wait a few months and they’ll see if there’s an opening.’

  ‘And you?’

  ‘I’m great, yeah. Things are good,’ he smiled brightly, feeling the exact opposite. ‘I’m applying for jobs, doing a few freelance things.’

  ‘Got anything lined up?’

  ‘I’ve been writing to some of the papers, news websites, television stations, hoping to get some interviews. Early days to be honest.’

  ‘Have you thought of working somewhere else other than New York?’ asked Murray as his drink appeared at the table.

  ‘Not really,’ said Jake. ‘Why?’

  ‘Nothing,’ sighed his father, shaking his glas
s, making the ice rattle. ‘I liked having you around, that’s all.’ Jake laughed. ‘Why do you think that’s funny?’

  ‘We’ve not exactly spent a lot of quality time together, have we?’

  ‘You were too busy chasing young ladies while I’m a bit too old in the tooth for that.’

  ‘Because you have Delores?’ said Jake, watching his father’s reaction. ‘You know, you didn’t want to discuss what happened with Hatty’s mother. I’ve picked up some of the threads but you need to tell me.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘You’ve spent a lot of my life with another person, a woman’s child who isn’t yours. I don’t understand what the connection is.’

  ‘Love, that’s the connection,’ he sighed. ‘Love.’

  ‘If you loved Eloise why didn’t you marry her?’

  ‘Did you ever meet your grandparents?’ laughed out Murray. ‘They were so incensed when I introduced her to them. Eloise knew immediately they weren’t going to accept her. She knows more than anyone how hard it is to fit in, like her daughter.’

  ‘How did you meet?’ Jake asked, taking his glass of beer and leaning closer to his father, noticing his pained expression. ‘I’m not digging up things for anyone else, just me. I’m interested about all these rumours. The truth is sometimes so much simpler, don’t you think?’

  ‘You’re your mother’s child alright,’ he smiled lovingly at his son.

  ‘Then tell me.’

  ‘I did my degree at the London School of Economics. I’ve loved London since I was a child. My parents had friends there and we’d go out, have fun. The same people had a party one day and invited all their friends. I saw this most beautiful girl standing in the garden laughing with some friends. Her skin was like, well like the colour of Hatty’s when she gets a suntan.’ He laughed to himself. ‘Anyway, we got talking and she was studying to be a teacher in a local college. We really hit it off. She was the adopted daughter of people our family friends knew.’

  ‘She was born in England after her mother was raped? Yes?’

  ‘Yes.’ Murray let out a long sigh. ‘Her mother went over to England from the island and was raped by a boy they never caught. She was very young and had Eloise put up for adoption. I think she might have kept her, other than the fact the woman was diagnosed with having cancer after giving birth to Eloise. From what we know, there was a tumour in her womb.’ He put his hand over his mouth for a moment. ‘It was only her birth certificate which had the mother’s name and nationality. Marianne Harris. Eloise tried to trace her mother’s relatives only to find they had been killed after a hurricane hit the island when she was a baby. There was no one for her.’