The Love Campaign (Romantic Revelations Series Book 1)

by Laura Marquez Diamond

  So, yeah, fuck Noah. He wasn’t in this bed with her. He wasn’t holding her hand. It was Sebastian who made love to her and gave her what she wanted. It was Sebastian who wouldn’t be stupid enough to let go.

  He tightened their clasped hands to ground himself in the contact. “Maybe not a serious relationship like what you had in your past, Jaya. But so what? I know what I want right now. I want you. I want us.”

  “But how do you know?” she asked desperately. “How are you so sure this isn’t going to…” her voice floated away with a trace of a whimper.

  “To what?” He made sure his voice didn’t crack.

  “How do you know things won’t go badly? Or that you resent me for holding you back from a full experience of this important time in your life? Sebastian, how do you know this thing between us won’t ruin everything?”

  “I don’t know …” he said softly. He had to be honest. This was unchartered territory and, in a way, feeling this much was already a form of ruin. But in the best possible way. He tried to explain. “Do you remember when we first met a year ago? When I first dropped off the donations from the hockey team?”

  “Of course I remember. You were such a perv,” she said crinkling her nose.

  “I was not! I didn’t ogle you. Just lost the ability to speak for a few seconds, that’s all.”

  She shook her head and sighed. “So? What about it?”

  “I was in a shit fucking mood that morning. No, I was in a shit fucking mood that month. I kept finding myself in these funks like I was looking for something but didn’t know what.” Sebastian didn’t mention that he was, this time last year, in the middle of a wild streak. On the ice and off. His penalty minutes had never been higher, and his bed perpetually occupied. All the fights were reckless and all the sex was meaningless.

  “What are you saying? You saw my ass bent over and you found enlightenment?”

  He pulled her closer. “I’m serious, Jaya.”

  She hugged him back and placed a kiss on his nose. “Sorry, babe. Were you…depressed?” she asked gently.

  “I don’t think that’s it, either. I know depression because my mom battled it for years. It was, I think the best word is, destructive. I was tearing through everything just to feel something. But it was as if all my senses were dulled.”

  “So, what happened when we met?”

  “For one, you pissed me off,” he said. “Didn’t give a shit about how I was charming you and went out of your way to insult me.”

  “Typical Tuesday,” she joked.

  He playfully nipped her lower lip and then continued. “I guess it was surprising that I even felt something—anger, irritation—instead of constantly chasing down a rush.”

  “That was a long time ago,” she said. “A full year of me serving up anger and irritation.”

  “You can be such a grump.” He shrugged his shoulders as if there was no avoiding that particular truth. “But here’s the thing. From that moment on, every time you walked into a room, I couldn’t take my eyes off you,” he said breathlessly. His voice lowered even more, the intimacy of his words filling the air between them.

  “I’ve never felt this way, Jaya. Every time you walk into a room, that’s exactly where I want to be. Every single time, I want to be with you. I see you, I feel you, and it’s like I need to be with you. Every. Single. Time.”

  CHAPTER 13

  “Sebastian, how do you know this thing between us won’t ruin everything?” she had asked. Laced in her words was an unspoken plea. How do you know this won’t ruin me?

  She squeezed her eyes shut to focus, unable to understand whatever this sensation was at the very center of her chest, which made it hard to breathe, which made it impossible to think straight. Till she wasn’t thinking but only feeling. Rational thought, unanswered questions, logical solutions—they all seemed irrelevant. When he said “every single time” Jaya experienced an influx of elation and excitement through her body.

  It didn’t last, though. Because although she didn’t want to fully acknowledge it, her increasingly intense feelings for Sebastian also strayed to darker, bleaker corners of her mind. As wonderful and wanted as he made her feel, being with Sebastian stirred memories of a time in her life when she felt worthless. When she was made to feel that relationships came with a price. And that price was her own sense of self.

  She ignored Sebastian’s calls all day. She kept herself busy, which wasn’t hard to do because the campaign’s publicity invigorated attention towards their youth programming. The spring season’s activities were filling up and she had to find more coaches for the sports teams and more resources for after-school enrichment programs. Plus, most annoying of all, was the whole debacle with parents earlier that afternoon.

  Busy, busy, busy, she said to herself every time she compulsively checked her phone to find a text or a call from him. Not too busy to check, it turned out.

  But there was no ignoring the nagging intuition that she had been unfair to Sebastian earlier that morning when she asked him to leave. Whether or not she fully believed their connection was going somewhere beyond one night, she didn’t want to hurt Sebastian. He didn’t deserve to be ignored all day as if nothing happened between them.

  So, instead of staying home and cocooning herself in pajamas and lethargy, she showered after work, put on her best underwear, and stepped up to Sebastian’s front porch like she belonged there. Because she wanted to belong there. She wanted to belong to him. The realization was a kick in the gut.

  The distrust and uncertainty that festered after her relationship with Noah remained. Quelling the compulsion to look at her past mistakes, Jaya tried to focus on today. Over and over, she reminded herself that Sebastian wasn’t Noah.

  It wasn’t Noah who made love to her like she was the only living source of pleasure in all of the world. It was Sebastian. Sebastian made her feel wanted, treasured, heard. After their lovemaking, after he confessed that he wanted her every single time he saw her—who even says stuff like that?—after all that, she knew she was ready to try. Or at least she wanted to be ready. To try.

  The man beside her had proven that he was a kind, gentle friend whose happy disposition and generosity weren’t a front. Sebastian was truly of the belief that the world was a good place and that he could keep making it better. As naïve as he might turn out to be, he also trusted that they could have something beyond this moment, beyond this room. Something real.

  With both their lives diverging in increasingly separate directions, he still wanted a serious relationship. His stubborn, unrelenting optimism was one of the things she loved about him.

  Wait, what? No. Not that. Surely, not…love?

  “Fine,” she found herself saying. As if her voice served some kind of cue, they turned to each other in the bed. Face to face, she relished his ridiculously fine features. A light scar near his temple and the generous sprinkling of stubble on his masculine jaw did not detract from the dreamy effects of heavily-lashed, gray-blue eyes and an aquiline nose, made more attractive by a slight bump at its proud ridge. And that mouth, full and pink and smiling. Taken at an angle, Sebastian had the face of an angel. But head-on, with his devious grin and hungry eyes, he was all carnal beauty. Flesh and desire and heat and manliness within her reach. For now. For now.

  “Fine?” He started to say with the trademark amusement in his voice. “I spill my guts about wanting you every single time you walk in a room, and you say…fine?” His words belied what was unapologetic glee. And if she harbored any doubts about how happy she made him, he reached over and embraced her tightly. Shattering those doubts.

  Predictably, she melted into him. Their lips inches apart, Jaya spoke, “Let’s try. Anything can happen but let’s, um, let’s try.”

  His hold tightened further and he buried his head into her hair, engulfing her with the warmth of his assurance. “Good.” He said the word so softly, it sounded like he just exhaled.

  Sebastian continued, “So, wh
ile we’re trying, exactly how many pictures of my hard cock are you going to need to keep you motivated?” he whispered into her ear. His beautiful, dirty mouth grazed her skin and ignited tingles.

  “You wouldn’t dare,” she said, pushing against his chest but grinning nonetheless.

  “Come here, sweetheart,” Sebastian said huskily, repositioning his hands to cradle her face. They kissed gently at first, lips soft and quivering with need. And then she parted her lips to ask for more.

  Sebastian took his time, kissing her as if this was all he wanted to do for hours. Licking and nipping her lips, using his tongue to tease the depths of her need, tasting and relishing with such luxuriousness, the sensual slowness was almost too much to bear. She moaned, insisting on more, crushing his mouth and sucking at his tongue.

  He groaned in response. He shifted to hold her even tighter. When she responded by tilting her head to allow their tongues to plunge deeper, his groan turned rougher, grittier. Then, Sebastian took over by giving Jaya much more than what she asked for. A kiss so deep and all-consuming, it promised more than she could have ever believed possible with him. With any man.

  Worries and insecurities faded, taken over by sensations stoked by his skillful mouth, his massaging touch, his delicious smell. Jaya surrendered her body to his hardness when his large hands grabbed her ample bottom. Her softness rubbed and pressed into his muscular frame, fitting with such surprising naturalness, it was as if they were made for each other. For now. For now.

  The bleak words echoed in her mind as she drifted into a reluctant slumber, encased in arms she already knew she would miss.

  ***

  They woke around three in the morning, starved and restless. Sebastian suggested they go downstairs and look for snacks. When he put one of his large shirts over her head and kissed her nose, how could she say no?

  A rather unexpected mix of culinary offerings was spread before Jaya. She enjoyed watching him focus on putting food together, starting with some pickles and cheese, microwaving popcorn and sprinkling truffle oil and coarse salt to transform an ordinary snack to savory perfection, heating tomato soup and adding spices and herbs to add complexity to the tart delicacy.

  He was a ridiculously gifted cook and Jaya would be lying if she said it didn’t turn her on when he sniffed at an herb or licked his fingers. A ridiculously gifted and shirtless heartthrob in the kitchen. Yeah, she didn’t think she wanted to sleep for the rest of the night.

  They ate and sipped wine by the kitchen island. Sebastian sat on a barstool and pulled her to his lap so she leaned against his bare muscles and sturdy legs. She was too embarrassed to admit it, but one of the reasons she didn’t want to sit down on her own barstool was because she was deliciously sore. Loafing over his body had many benefits.

  “Florida’s got a chance at the Stanley Cup,” she ventured to say while nibbling a slice of cheese dipped in the tomato soup. “Their penalty kill has been great. They also have two good, healthy goalies. Those things go a long way during the playoffs.”

  “Yeah,” he said thoughtfully. “They’re definitely known for their defense,” he said cautiously, and she knew, without looking at him, that he was watching her. Well, now was as good a time as any to unburden what was weighing on her mind.

  “He’ll be your teammate. My ex.”

  “I know. Noah Rawlings,” Sebastian said, and she immediately felt his muscles tense. She looked confused so he added, “Patrick told me.”

  Fully facing him, Jaya stood between his thighs. Their faces were level and she comfortably lay her arms over his solid shoulders and enjoyed his arms around her waist. Taking a deep breath, she lurched ahead.

  “I don’t want to complicate it by telling you, you know, all the sordid details. Not that, um, not that it was all bad when we were together for years. I mean, what can I say? Things ended. Maybe you should know I’m the one who broke up with him. We hurt each other. In the end, he respected my choice.”

  “Choice?”

  “Not to go with him. To finish my degree and pursue this career I love and believe in.”

  “Let me get this straight. He asked you to stop going to school because he wanted you to go with him instead?” Incredulity filled his voice.

  “Are you surprised that he asked me to go with him?”

  He looked at her as if she spoke alien gibberish. Dryly yet clearly, he stated, “No, Jaya. I’m not surprised he wanted you to go with him. But to make you drop your degree? Your life? I don’t think he respected your fucking choice at all, to be honest.”

  The disgust and anger in his voice were apparent. Jaya was surprised to realize the measure of gratification she felt because Sebastian was right. When it came right down to it, Noah served up a cruel ultimatum.

  Except. Except how mad could she be when the ultimatum forced her to finally end their toxic relationship? It turned out, years later, she wasn’t mad at all. Just relieved.

  She remained deep in thought when she felt Sebastian’s finger tilt her chin so they could lock eyes. “Jaya, I’ve known you for a fraction of the time you were with the guy. And even I can see you live for those kids. You’re unbelievably great with them. And you’re right. It is so much more than a job. And they fucking love you.” He seemed choked saying those words. Sebastian cleared his throat. “Because of course they do.”

  “They don’t love me, Sebastian. These kids have their lives ahead of them and I’m a blip in the big picture. But here and now, they know I care. And all I can do is hope that’s enough. That me caring and listening gives them something they need. Knowing that someone’s paying attention. Most of the time, it’s barely enough. But when it is, there isn’t a better place to be.”

  She let the words carry her back to the disturbing events of the day. Sebastian must have noticed the flash of concern that darkened her features. “What’s wrong? For a second there, you looked completely devastated.”

  “No, just something today. It’s work. We can drop it.”

  “Tell me,” Sebastian urged. “How’s Chloe by the way? Did things get sorted out from that time we picked her up?”

  “Well, that’s the thing. I realized after she talked to me about what happened that night, how ill-prepared these girls are for situations that might turn into something more…sexual.”

  “What are you saying? Chloe was out with a guy that night? Did he hurt her?” Sebastian’s voice was low and protective. He sounded dangerous.

  “No. Nothing like that. He’s just a kid too. That’s the problem. She said nothing happened that night but only because they got interrupted. Kids trying to sort these things out themselves. But they don’t have the resources to assess risk and they have a very narrow understanding of consent.”

  “I bet it doesn’t help that everything’s on the internet, all the time. And I don’t just mean porn, which is bad enough.”

  “You’re right. Along with porn, teen bullying, false information, and just overall pressure, the World Wide Web has not made it easier to be a teenager. Sadly, the internet is where most kids go if they have questions about sexuality or even about, you know, intercourse. There’s no way to be sure they’re learning about fact-based, healthy choices.”

  “Isn’t there sex education in schools nowadays?”

  “Some. But I think the problem is they’re outdated. They focus on constraint and abstinence, which sadly becomes the responsibility of an insecure and underinformed teenage girl. What if we empowered those teenage girls to feel comfortable discussing their sexuality? What if there was a place to train them about respecting their bodies, setting boundaries, planning for the future?”

  “I think that sounds great. Are you bringing that kind of programming to the center?”

  “Yes. At least I was hoping to. I’ve consulted with community organizers and am starting to write a grant so we can hire health professionals and therapists. This isn’t just about teaching kids to say no or wear a condom. I’m imagining a program about self-wo
rth, risk assessment, maybe even strategies of negotiation…” She paused and looked at Sebastian who was grinning ear to ear while staring at her.

  “What? Do I have something between my teeth?” she asked running her tongue along her gums.

  He pulled her closer and pecked her temple, her jaw, the corner of her mouth. “Nope. Just totally captivated by this presentation on teen education. No PowerPoint required,” he teased.

  She snorted her disdain but did not wiggle out of his embrace. Instead, Jaya sank deeper in his arms, finding comfort while explaining her challenging day. “Anyway, a few parents got wind of my inquiries and complained about me to my boss. Chloe’s mom was one of them.”

  With furrowed brows, Sebastian carped, “Don’t they know how much kids like Chloe need this? She’s sneaking out at night and finding herself stranded. If her mom knew that, maybe she’d change her tune.”

  “I’ve talked to Chloe. And the girls. I’m not able to interrupt family dynamics. Frankly, I’m not trained for that because I’ve shifted my focus to community programming. So all I can do is build the structure, you know, for them to find the help. I try to, anyway.”

  “You do so much more than try,” he said though his voice turned even lower. He reached over and tenderly grazed her cheek. “You’re beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful.”

  Jaya’s heart sputtered because the way he looked at her was almost too much. As if he was offering something so fragile, she didn’t know if she could accept it. Something alive and beating and raw.

  Instead of facing the vulnerability in his eyes, she said the first thing that came to mind. “We have a few more hours together. What do you want to do?” she whispered hoarsely.

  “You,” Sebastian grunted as if it was the only answer that could possibly make sense.

  Jaya rolled her eyes but then took his hand, guiding him up the stairs. He was deceptively compliant, letting her push him through the door. When she shut it behind her, she put her hand on his sculpted chest and kept walking forward until his back was against a wall.