Sisters and Secrets

by Jennifer Ryan

  That sounded like bliss. “We could do that.”

  “When? In the hour between one playdate and a birthday party for some kid in their class they aren’t even friends with?”

  “All the kids get invited to the parties so no one gets left out.”

  “That doesn’t mean they have to go to every single one. They need to know that family time matters.”

  Frustrated and at her wit’s end, she snapped. “What does that have to do with us going on a date?”

  “Time. And the fact you don’t have any for me.”

  “Are you guys fighting?” P.J. asked from the kitchen entry.

  “No,” Amy said.

  “Yes.” Rex dared her to contradict him again with a sharp look. “Put your shoes on, kiddo. Let’s give Mom the night off from cooking and go pick up burgers.”

  “Yes!”

  Rex waited for P.J. to run to his room to get his shoes before saying, “Something needs to change around here, Amy. You’re always telling me to tell you how I feel. Well, I feel left out. I feel like you schedule all this stuff because you don’t want to be with me.”

  “That’s not true.” She hated that he felt that way.

  He glanced at the damn calendar again. “Really? Sure looks that way to me.”

  P.J. and Emma appeared in the entry, side by side, looking nervous about them arguing in the kitchen.

  Emma smiled up at her dad. “I want to go, too.”

  Rex scooped her up and hugged her close. “Absolutely, princess. I bet you want french fries.”

  “And a chocolate shake?” Hesitation and hope filled her soft voice.

  Amy didn’t even bother to try to deny her daughter the sweet treat or Rex a moment to spoil the kids with junk food.

  “Shakes all around,” Rex announced, as he touched P.J.’s back to get him moving toward the front door. “Say good-bye to Mommy.”

  P.J. and Emma said in unison, “Bye, Mommy.”

  The front door closed behind them and Amy felt her stomach drop. She and Rex had had this same argument over and over again the past couple years, but now they rehashed it every few weeks.

  She wanted to give her kids everything. She wanted them to experience all kinds of things.

  She wanted more time with Rex.

  More family time would be so nice.

  She looked at her color-coded life hanging on the pantry door and thought about all she’d given up to be a mother. Oh, she loved it. But the satisfaction and joy waned as she lost herself in it. Everything she did was for the kids. She barely had time for herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she did something fun just because she wanted to do it.

  Sierra got that great job.

  When did her own life turn into one endless art project, bake-off with the other moms, and cheerleading for her kids?

  Amy wiped her palms down her chic yoga pants. She couldn’t remember the last time she put on a sexy dress and heels. Hell, she barely remembered the last time she didn’t go to bed in an old T-shirt and flannel shorts, let alone the last time she and Rex spent an hour or more making love.

  The last time they had sex, she’d given in to his advances, not really feeling it because she was tired. She’d made sure he got what he wanted and fell beside him, unsatisfied and blaming him for it, when really it was her fault.

  She’d just wanted the chore over.

  Making love to her husband shouldn’t be a task on her list.

  The kids’ schedule shouldn’t be an endless loop of chauffeuring them around and keeping them busy because she didn’t know what to do with herself if she wasn’t doing something for them.

  Rex was right. Something needed to change.

  She needed a change.

  Chapter Eleven

  Heather sat Hallee on her play mat in front of her tower of toys then answered the door. She smiled at the resolute knocks from her sister, and the two other little pitter-patters from the boys’ small fists.

  She turned the knob and swung the door wide, loving the smiles on all three of their faces as they held their hands up mid-knock. “Hello, munchkins. Was that you pounding on my door?” She gave them a mock angry face, but it only sent them into a round of giggles. Heather found her sister’s eyes were full of mirth, too. “Hey, sis.”

  “Hey. This place is so cute. Away from the road, and you’ve even got a little white picket fence with the flowers blooming along it.”

  “Thanks. I got lucky when I found it.” She held her hand out toward the living room, hoping her sister didn’t see it shaking. She didn’t know why she was nervous. Okay, she did, but she shouldn’t be. “Come in. Hallee is playing with her toys.”

  The boys raced past and fell on their knees beside Hallee, quickly picking up toys and engaging her. Heather took a second to watch them and enjoy the moment, seeing her little girl with the boys.

  She closed the door behind Sierra, who stood in the tiny foyer checking out the living room and through to the small kitchen and dining area.

  “It’s so you. Boho chic with a touch of elegance.”

  Heather didn’t have much, but she made the most of her little space. She loved the wood-framed daybed with the colorful pillows she’d added in green, blue, and a pop of dark pink. They picked up the vibrant colors in the rug. Gauzy white drapes covered the window. Intricate woven baskets hung on the wall in a cluster as art. A simple wood oval coffee table served as a place for Hallee to play with some of her toys and Heather to prop her feet.

  She’d added the elegance in the pretty antique chandelier-style lighting. Crystals gleamed and sparkled in the light. A collection of mercury glass candle holders lined the fireplace mantel.

  Sierra touched her arm. “I love this place. It seems so perfect for you and Hallee.”

  “It’s just what we needed. Her room turned out so great. I found this beautiful chandelier with golf-ball-sized crystals and she’s got a sleigh bed crib that she’s growing out of way too fast. I’m going to have to get her a big girl bed soon. I painted the walls a pale lavender and hung these cute butterflies from the ceiling.”

  Sierra took her gaze from the room at large and focused on her. “The kids seem happy. Show me.”

  Heather led Sierra on a tour of her house that didn’t take more than a few minutes. They ended up in the kitchen where Heather had left two wine glasses on the counter next to a bottle of Moscato.

  Sierra stared out the back window. “What a cute little patio. I love how you hung the lights and wrapped them around the tree. It gives the garden you planted out there a magical feel.”

  “I want Hallee to have a place that feels warm and inviting and fun at the same time, where she can touch things and run around without worrying that she’ll break something. And if she does”—Heather shrugged one shoulder—“so what. She’s missing something in her life, but my hope is that she’ll always feel at home here and know she’s loved.”

  Sierra’s eyes went soft. “Isn’t there any chance that her father will be a part of her life?”

  “No.” Heather’s heart broke for her daughter. She deserved to have a wonderful father in her life. But it wasn’t meant to be.

  Heather had been selfish, threw caution out the door, took what she wanted, and her daughter paid the price.

  At one time, Heather thought it would work out in some way, but no.

  So she’d take the secret of who fathered her child to the grave. She still didn’t know what she’d say to Hallee when she grew up and asked about her dad. Right now, it was easy to distract her when she pointed at her preschool friends’ dads and said, “Dada.”

  “Maybe he’ll change his mind.”

  She appreciated Sierra’s optimism, but some things were absolute. “I thought there was a chance for us once. But . . .” She shrugged, not wanting to think about the mess she’d made and how it ended.

  Sierra rubbed her hand up and down Heather’s arm. “I’m sorry. It can’t be easy to raise her on your own. But from what
I see, you’ve made a great home for her. She’s got you and all of us to love her.”

  Choked up, Heather swallowed the emotions clogging her throat. “That means a lot.” More than her sister knew.

  “What smells so amazing?” Sierra inhaled the garlic and tomato sauce smells filling the kitchen, then sighed in pure appreciation.

  Heather chuckled. “I call them meatloaf balls.” She lifted the lid on the frying pan on the stove and revealed the meatballs simmering in sauce. “I hope the kids like them.”

  “They look fantastic.”

  “I’ll serve them over rice, if the kids want, with broccoli on the side.”

  “We’ll let them decide. And look at you with the healthy meals, veggies and all. I remember a time when you ate pizza just about every night.”

  “I worked at a pizza place. Who wouldn’t eat pizza all the time when it’s free?” Heather picked up the open bottle of wine and poured for Sierra, then herself. She set the bottle down and held her glass up to Sierra. “I’m really happy you’re home.”

  Sierra clinked glasses with her, took a sip, then narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t think you were thrilled about me moving back.”

  “I was just surprised you’d want to stay when you and David had made your life up in Napa. Is it true? You really did want to come back sooner, but David wanted to stay up there?”

  Sierra lifted one shoulder and let it drop. “I missed you guys. I wanted all our kids to grow up together. He considered moving back, but then he said he couldn’t do it. He loved his job and thought we had a good life up there and he didn’t want to change that.”

  Heather took a bigger sip of wine. “Well, you’re here now, and you’ve got a great new job.”

  “It’s an amazing opportunity. And the money is great. More than I was making at my old job.” Sierra glanced around the house. “I can’t afford to buy anything just yet, but I’d love a cute little place like this for me and the boys.”

  “With two of them, you’ll need another room. I’m sure once you get your settlement, you’ll be able to get something.”

  “I don’t know about that. I was barely getting by. The fire wiped out what little I had in savings paying for motel rooms and basic necessities. I’ll get the settlement for the contents of the house, which will help, but the mortgage doesn’t go away. And I’ve got a huge personal loan to pay off.”

  “Really?” That concerned Heather.

  Sierra waved it away. “I’ll figure it out. The fire is still so fresh in my mind. The loss. If I hadn’t found this job so soon, I don’t know what I would have done. Mom has been so great, letting us move in until I can figure out what to do next. It’s just so overwhelming.”

  “I always thought you and David were doing really well.” Heather had no idea they’d taken out a big loan. “I wish I could help, but I sunk all my money and then some into this place. My job covers costs and day care and a little extra, but Hallee and I . . . well, we’ve got what we need.”

  “I totally get it. Like I said, the insurance will help, but rebuilding isn’t an option for me. I need to move on.”

  “It must be hard to know that the house you and David shared is gone. All those memories.”

  “I still have the memories. But there’s nothing left that I want to go back to. David’s been gone almost a year and it’s time to settle into my life without him.”

  The optimistic tone surprised Heather. “Are you thinking about dating again?”

  “It’s been a long time since I went on a date. It’s kind of scary. But also . . . I don’t know . . . maybe it’s time. I don’t want to dedicate everything to raising the boys and miss out having someone in my life to share it with. I’m sure, just like me, you get lonely sometimes.”

  “It’s been especially hard this past year, watching Hallee grow so fast and do so many new things.” Heather nodded. “I want to share it with her father, but I can’t, so yeah, having a partner, someone special, in my life would be great.” She thought about her encounter with Mason at the mailbox. A sexy lawyer would do fine. Someone stable. Someone available and open to a relationship that could potentially turn into a lifetime of memories.

  She loved being a mother. She’d love to have another baby.

  Mason had never had a family. Maybe he’d like to be a father.

  “You’re thinking about someone,” Sierra teased.

  Since Sierra knew Mason, Heather didn’t want to give away her secret thoughts. “I’ve just recently been reacquainted with someone and . . . I don’t know. Maybe there could be something there.”

  Sierra held her glass up. “Go for it, sis. Life is too short.”

  Heather clinked it again. “Yes. It is. In the blink of an eye, you can lose everything. Why wait to have what you want.”

  “Here, here.” Sierra took a sip, then glanced in the living room where Hallee let out a big belly laugh as Oliver held up a puppet and made fart noises. “Boys.” Sierra shook her head, but a smile tugged at her lips.

  Heather soaked up the scene with the boys entertaining Hallee. “This is nice.”

  Sierra met her gaze. “Yeah. It is. I’m glad you invited us.”

  “I hope we get to do this a lot more often. I’d like Hallee to really get to know Danny and Oliver.”

  “Me, too. We better feed them.”

  Heather, caught up in the moment and her emotions having Sierra and the boys in her home, impulsively hugged Sierra.

  “What’s this for?” Sierra held her close.

  “I’m so glad I didn’t lose you.”

  Sierra squeezed her harder. “You’ll never lose me.”

  Heather hoped Sierra kept that promise.

  Chapter Twelve

  Sierra parked the SUV in Mason’s driveway and tried to wrangle the butterflies into submission with a hand to her belly and a deep breath. This wasn’t a date. It was just two friends getting together to watch a football game. Mason meant it as a kind gesture to make her sons happy.

  “Can we see the horses first?” Danny asked.

  Both boys watched the ones grazing in the nearest pasture. They were beautiful.

  She missed riding and the freedom of it.

  “We’ll see.” She opened the car door just as Mason walked out the front door with the ease of a confident man.

  Nervous, anxious, and yes, excited, Sierra felt anything but confident. More like self-conscious.

  She wasn’t the same young lady he knew from their youth. She’d grown up, filled out, and had two kids that made her body dip and bulge in new ways that defied all exercises meant to flatten and tone certain areas.

  How did he look the same after all these years?

  She stepped out of the car and waved.

  “Sierra, you look fantastic. I’m so glad you came.”

  The ridiculous amount of giddiness that single compliment shot through her made her feel like a teenager with her first crush.

  Did she still have a crush on Mason?

  Had she ever stopped crushing on him?

  “Thank you again for inviting us.” She closed the driver’s-side door so Danny didn’t hear her. “Danny is really looking forward to this. It means a lot that you’d spend time with him.”

  Mason brushed that off with a wave of his hand. “I’m happy to have a buddy to watch the game with me. Otherwise, it’s just me, all alone in this big house.”

  She wondered if he spent his nights alone, but didn’t dare ask or let her mind go down that road. Not her business.

  He’d been kind to help her get the job, but she didn’t want to assume he held any interest in her other than being a friend and neighbor.

  Mason took a step closer. “And I’m hoping you and I can spend some time catching up, getting to know each other better now that you’re back.”

  “There’s not much you don’t already know.”

  “I know the outline. I’d like the details.”

  “Horsies!” Oliver jumped out the back door and r
an for the fence.

  Danny ran after him.

  Mason let out an earsplitting whistle.

  The boys stopped in their tracks and turned back to him. “Not so fast. There are ranch rules you need to learn and follow.”

  The boys’ faces dropped into disappointment at the prospect of new rules to follow, but they stood still and waited to hear Mason out.

  “First rule. No going into the pastures or climbing on the fences without your mom or me with you. Horses are big, they may not see you, and they can step on you and hurt you really badly. Second rule, no feeding the horses anything unless I give it to you. They like carrots and apples, but other things can make them sick. Third rule, you always stay within eyesight of me and your mom. There’s lot of things here where you can get into trouble or get hurt. Any questions?”

  Both boys shook their heads.

  “Okay, then let’s have fun. The game starts in half an hour. Who wants to pet a horse?”

  Both boys raised their hands and jumped up and down yelling, “Me! Me! Me!”

  Mason took Sierra’s hand, walked a couple steps pulling her along with him, before he let her loose and caught each of her boys around the belly and picked them up under each of his arms. They shouted in surprise and laughed as Mason bounced them up and down as he walked toward the stables.

  Sierra stopped in her tracks and watched them. Her delighted boys. And Mason. Strong. Intriguing. Engaging. Fun. And kind.

  He’d known David. They’d been friends once upon a time. Mason knew the boys missed their dad. Here he was, trying to give them a good day and a memory to keep after all the ones they’d hopefully forget.

  “Hey, you coming with us?” Mason stood facing her, one wiggling boy under each arm like they didn’t weigh him down one bit.

  She walked to catch up. “Sorry. I got lost in thought.”

  Mason set the boys on their feet and took their hands. “I’ve got a real pretty mare you’ll want to meet. And I’m sure Tom is around here somewhere.”

  She’d forgotten about Tom the cat. “He’s got to be pretty old by now. He was old when I last saw him.”

  “This is Tom the third.”