Sisters and Secrets

by Jennifer Ryan

  “You’re amazing.” His sincerity touched her. “And a little crazy.” She’d always loved that sexy half grin.

  The smile he wanted from her came easily when he teased her like this. And if they could still find humor in their situation and life, they still had a chance. She hoped.

  “You’re always telling people how your wife is so great at keeping things together. How much I spoil you and the children and you love it, so I try even harder to live up to that. But then you’re angry that I’m trying so hard to make you proud of me and our family.”

  “Amy, I am proud that I have a kind, caring, loving wife and mother of my children. I’d still be proud if you did even half the things you do for us.”

  And that was the crux of their problem. “You’re angry that we don’t spend enough time together.”

  “I’m unhappy that you seem to go out of your way to schedule me out of the picture. As I said before, it’s like the only thing I’m good for is bringing home the paycheck.”

  Anger flashed, but she tamped it down and gave herself a moment to absorb how he felt. “That’s not true. And I’m sorry I made you feel that way. It’s not my intention to leave you out or make you feel like we don’t want you with us.” She sucked in a breath, ignoring the look on his face that told her clearly he didn’t believe her. “I’ve thought about all you’ve said and how you feel.”

  “Look, Amy, I’ve tried to be understanding about your need to be involved in the kids’ school and their lives. They’re your whole world. I get that. They’re mine, too. But I used to be important to you, too.” Rex leaned back, his shoulders sagging. “How the hell did we get here?”

  “Rex, I hate the way we are now. I want us to find our way back to the way things used to be.” She waited for his gaze to meet hers. “I’m tired.” She relaxed her tense shoulders and her arms sagged. “Like all the time. I always feel like I’m rushing around doing things but I never feel like I’m doing them right.”

  Rex’s mouth drew tight. “Amy, you’re great at everything. I don’t know how you do so much and make it look so effortless.”

  “It’s not. Trust me. It’s stressful and time-consuming, and half the time the kids are complaining because they don’t want to do a lot of it.” She took another breath. “I haven’t been listening. To you. To the kids. To my own feelings. So I’m going to sit the kids down with the schedule and ask them what they really want to do and what they can drop.”

  Rex’s eyes went wide. “Seriously?”

  “Yes. I don’t want them to feel like I’m making them do things. I want them to love what they do. Instead of just signing them up for activities, I’m going to ask them if they even want to do it.”

  “I think they’d like that. P.J. isn’t really into the music thing.”

  “He hates playing the trumpet.”

  “Emma seems to like art class.”

  Amy shrugged one shoulder. “She likes to please. I worry she does it for me, not because she really likes it. But I’m not going to assume that. I’m going to ask her if she wants to keep going. The last thing I want to do is turn her into me, someone who can’t say no.”

  Rex eyed her. “Are you going to go nuts with less to do?”

  Of course he knew she didn’t like to be idle. “When we got married, I really wanted to be a mom. That’s all I thought about.”

  “You’re a great mom.”

  “But I’m also your wife.”

  His mouth drew back on one side into a half frown filled with sadness. “We live in the same house, but I still miss you.”

  She knew exactly what he meant. “It’s not that we’ve lost the love.”

  Rex nodded his agreement. “We’ve lost the time we spend together. We don’t connect like we used to.”

  “I want more time with you. So with the extra money we’ll save on not doing the stuff the kids hate, I will pay the babysitter on date nights. For real this time.”

  “I’m going up on your schedule?” He eyed the bane of his existence hanging on the cabinet with a teasing light in his eyes and voice, but he was serious.

  “I’m getting my priorities in the right order. Bake sales and school plays don’t come before you anymore. In fact, I’m putting you back where you belong. At the top of my list.”

  “Listen, sweetheart, I know the kids need you.”

  “You need me, too. And I need you. I’m tired of feeling like I’m doing all this on my own.” She held up her hand to stop him from unnecessarily defending himself. “I did this to myself and blamed you for not wanting to do everything I set up without asking you about it in the first place. You want to see the kids more, too. You want to make family time a priority.”

  “Yes. And I want to spend time alone with my wife.”

  She put her hand over his. “I want that, too. We both deserve more downtime.”

  “I wouldn’t mind sleeping in on a Saturday. Especially if you’re in bed with me.” The devastatingly handsome smile she hadn’t seen in too long appeared and melted her heart.

  She smiled back. “That sounds really good.” She hoped she could rein in that feeling inside her that she should be doing something. Being lazy and unoccupied with something to do made her antsy.

  But doing her husband sounded like a good way to pass the time, too.

  “About our sex life . . .”

  Rex rolled his eyes. “What sex life?” Again that teasing tone didn’t mask the seriousness in his voice.

  “I made it another item on my list.”

  Rex tilted his head and another sorrowful frown took hold of his handsome face. “Pity sex is not sexy. I don’t want to be something you check off.”

  “I know. And I’m sorry. I’d like to work on that, because I don’t think we can get back to where we used to be without finding our way back to each other in every way.”

  “You know, if you tell me what you need, I’ll try to give it to you.”

  She smiled at the innuendo, but Rex remained completely focused, which told her this was important to him. Her happiness mattered. Their marriage mattered.

  “Okay. I’d like your help to free up my time and make the evenings more relaxing for me. I’d appreciate it if you’d do the dinner dishes and make the kids’ lunches for the next day each night while I get them ready for bed.”

  Skepticism filled his eyes. “I’ve tried to help you with chores around the house. The only thing I seem to do right is take out the trash.”

  “I know. Which is why I’m going to show you how I want the dishwasher loaded.” She waited out his eye roll. “Not because you do it wrong, but because I like it a certain way or I get anxious and feel like I have to do it myself.”

  Rex caught on quick with a nod. “Okay. I get it.” A smile crept across his face. “Why don’t you make me a diagram?”

  Not a bad idea. And though he was teasing her, he knew her well enough to know that was exactly how she’d be able to let go of the chore and let him do it. “I will.”

  “I’ll still read them stories while you relax. I love that time with them.”

  “I love that time, too. Let’s switch off, or do it together.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Once I’ve got the new schedule finished with the kids, I’d like to go over it as a family. I’d like it if we could do the things that stay on it together, your work schedule permitting.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Okay. I’d like your Thursday nights for our dates.”

  “You can have any night you want.”

  “I’d appreciate it if you made the plans.”

  “My pleasure. It will be my job to wine and dine you.” He held his hand out to her.

  She reached out, took it, and moved around the counter, closer to him. “Thank you for understanding. That’s exactly what I needed to hear you say.”

  “You put us all first, sweetheart. Deep down, I think you want someone to do that for you. That’s my job. And I haven’t done
it well these last months.”

  “I pushed you away.”

  “I let you because I felt like you didn’t need me.”

  She touched her hand to his cheek. “I always need you.”

  “I see that now. You pushed me away and filled up the empty space with things to do to fill your time and the hole inside you.”

  “I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

  “I know. I’m glad we had this talk. I see what’s been happening. I hope you do, too, and we can move forward and come back together. I’m really looking forward to having you all to myself on Thursday night.”

  She leaned in and kissed him softly. “We’re alone right now.”

  He shifted on the stool, wrapped his arm around her waist, and drew her in between his strong legs and up against his wide chest. “What should we do?”

  For a split second she thought about teasing and telling him she’d teach him how to load the dishwasher. Instead, she showed him what she really wanted: more of him.

  She kissed him with all the intention she had for where she wanted the kiss to lead.

  Rex took direction well, even if it was unspoken. He slipped his hands down her hips and grabbed her ass. His lips left hers to travel down her neck and back to her ear. “I’ve missed you so damn bad.”

  “Me, too,” she said on a breathless sigh.

  She missed feeling this way. Wanted. Needed. Like she mattered.

  She bet Rex felt the same way and poured everything into loving him.

  If they only had a couple hours until the kids came home to show each other they wanted this to work and their love was still very much alive and as deep as it used to be, she’d make the most of it.

  She broke the searing kiss, stepped back, took Rex’s hand, and pulled him up and out of his seat and toward the stairs. “Come with me.”

  “I’d follow you anywhere.”

  “Still?” She smiled up at him, knowing full well he meant it.

  “Always.”

  The mischief came back into his eyes. He tugged her hand, so she walked toward him. He dipped his shoulder and hoisted her over it. She lay like a sack of potatoes down his back. She smacked his ass and laughed because he hadn’t carried her like this since they were dating.

  “Put me down before you throw your back out.”

  He smacked his hand over her ass and left it there, the heel of his hand pressed intimately to her sorely neglected lady parts. “Not a chance. I’ve got until nine o’clock to show you how much I’ve missed you. I’m pretty sure it’s going to take every minute from here to then to prove it to you.”

  He didn’t have to prove anything to her, but the second he tossed her down on their bed and swallowed her giggles with a deep, searing kiss, he made good on his promise.

  * * *

  In fact, Rex made good on his promise so well and thoroughly, Amy answered the knock on the front door on shaky legs, wearing nothing but her bathrobe.

  Sierra stared at her, taking in Amy’s tousled hair, rosy cheeks heated by the embarrassment she felt getting caught doing the naughty with her husband, the robe, and her bare feet. Sierra’s knowing smile amplified her embarrassment as well as the vixen inside her who was completely satisfied and smug about it.

  Sierra’s gaze swept over Amy, then met her eyes. “Hello. I remember you.”

  Amy felt a lot more like her old self than a haggard mom.

  “I’m feeling pretty damn good.”

  Emma stared up at her. “You swore.”

  “Mommy gets a pass tonight.” Rex walked down the stairs in an old worn pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, his hair mussed, too. “Did you have fun with Aunt Sierra and Aunt Heather?”

  P.J. yawned. “We had pizza with basil on it. It wasn’t bad.”

  Not a ringing endorsement, but he’d tried something new and didn’t hate it. Amy put that in the win column.

  Emma hugged her. “I missed you, Mommy.”

  Amy held her daughter, cherishing the warm feeling in her heart. “I missed you, too, baby. Head upstairs with your brother. Daddy and I will be up to kiss you good night.”

  Emma trudged up the stairs behind P.J.

  “Thank-yous for Aunt Sierra, please.”

  They didn’t stop their ascent, but obediently called out, “Thank you!”

  Rex stepped up to Sierra and hugged her. “Thank you for taking the kids and giving Amy and me some time together.” He let her loose.

  Sierra smiled up at him. “Looks like you two put the time to good use.”

  Amy shoved her sister toward the door. “Thank you. We appreciate it. Now take your kids home so Rex and I can say good night to our kids and finish what we started.”

  Rex glanced at her, a gleam and hope in his eyes. “We’re not done?”

  “I’m not done with you.”

  “Lucky me.” He headed for the stairs. “I’ll say good night to the kids then. Bye, Sierra.”

  “Bye, Rex.”

  Amy stood in the open door as her sister stepped out onto the porch.

  “I’m happy for you, sis.”

  Amy thought about their earlier conversation. “I’m sorry I interfered in your relationship, Sierra. I should have listened to you and told you what I knew about Mason and his feelings for you. I withheld that from you because of my own selfish reasons. It wasn’t right. I was wrong. And I’m sorry.”

  Sierra took a few second to absorb that before she closed the distance between them. “It was wrong. You did it for spite because you didn’t want me to have him even though you had Rex and had no intention of doing anything about that old crush. But . . .”

  “But?”

  “Mason should have come to me if he had feelings and wanted me to reconsider my decision to marry David. Instead of telling you, he should have told me. I was conflicted but I never went to him and said my piece, either. That’s on me.” Sierra gave her sister a hug good-bye, then stepped back. “Let’s leave this in the past where it belongs. Things are different now. We’ve all changed. I know how Mason feels. He knows how I feel. We’re both in a place where we make sense.”

  “You two seem really great together.”

  “I feel that way, too, which is why I’m going to start talking to the boys about how I feel about Mason and where I’d like to see us in the coming months.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. After everything we’ve been through, I keep asking myself what I’m waiting for. Why I am waiting at all when time is too precious to waste.” She headed down the porch steps. “Stop wasting time, Amy. Rex is waiting for you upstairs.”

  Amy took her little sister’s advice, closed and locked the door, and headed up to the man who made her life so much better in every way because he got her kind of crazy and loved her anyway.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Sierra stood on the porch, holding the boys’ hands. Her mother stood beside them as Mason pulled into the yard, the truck cab filled with green balloons. So many that she couldn’t even see him through the passenger window.

  “What are all the balloons for?” Oliver looked excited for a party that wasn’t going to be exactly joyous, even if they were celebrating. A different kind than they were used to, but a way that was necessary and simply part of life.

  “We’re going to send messages to your father in heaven with them.”

  Danny’s head whipped toward her. “What?” Tears gathered in his eyes.

  She released Oliver’s hand and touched Danny’s wobbly chin. “Your dad passed away a year ago. I thought we should celebrate his life and how much we loved him by sending him our love up into the sky.”

  A tear trickled down Danny’s cheek. “I thought you forgot.”

  So Danny had been paying attention to the day. She should have known, though he’d been strong and gotten through yesterday without a word. She hated to think of him suffering his sadness in silence. It broke her heart and brought tears to her eyes.

  At seven and five, she didn’t t
hink they’d remember the exact date. Her mistake. One she’d never make again.

  “No, honey. I will never forget your dad.”

  “But you’re with Mason now, right?”

  Oh yes, kids paid attention to everything.

  She and Mason tried to keep their affection in check around the boys, but she knew they’d caught them innocently touching hands, had noticed the way Mason hugged her good-bye when he really wanted to kiss her, and how he paid so much attention to her.

  “I like Mason a lot.” She tried to be low-key about it. “We have feelings for each other. We’ve been friends for a long time, even before I met your dad.”

  “Is he your boyfriend?” Oliver asked, biting his bottom lip, his eyes filled with uncertainty.

  “I suppose you could call him that. Is that okay?”

  Oliver nodded. “He’s nice.”

  “So is he going to be our dad or something?” Danny asked, a touch of anger in his voice.

  She hadn’t anticipated having this conversation today. She hoped to use the next couple of weeks to ease the kids into accepting Mason into their lives permanently. They liked him. They saw him as a friend, but not as Mommy’s special friend. Not as the man she loved and wanted to make a life with.

  She and Mason hadn’t had a chance to get on the same page about this, either.

  “Mason wants to be part of our family. He really likes being with you boys. You like doing things with him, too, right?”

  Danny reluctantly nodded. “The horses are fun.”

  Oliver raised his hands as Mason approached the steps with the bundle of balloons in one hand. He caught Oliver in his free arm when he launched himself off the steps and into Mason’s chest. “Mom says you’re going to be our new dad.”

  Sierra’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. “I said Mason wants to be a part of our family.”

  Her mom tried to help her out of this awkward situation. “Maybe we should table this for now.”

  She met Mason’s eyes. “Sorry. I know we haven’t had time to talk about this.”

  Mason focused on Danny, who wore a frown, but his eyes were filled with hope. “Well, I know how I feel. You see, your mom and I really like each other. In fact, I love her. I love you.” Mason made a point to look at both Danny and Oliver so they could see he meant it. “I don’t want to take your dad’s place. David will always be your dad. I know he’s watching over you both each and every day. I hope he thinks I’m doing a good job teaching you to ride and helping you with your schoolwork and just being here to help your mom take care of you. I know he’s with us when we catch a game on TV and hang out with each other. I hope he’s happy that I’m with you guys and that I’m here for you no matter what you need me to do and be in your life because he can’t be here with you like I know he wants to be. He was my friend. I miss him, too. I wish he was here for you and your mom. I don’t want to take his place. I want to make my own place in your lives.”