The Line That Binds

by Carolyn LaRoche

  "My partner is dead! And he isn't the one that was firing the rifle off in the middle of a residential neighborhood!"

  "Then why didn't you do something to stop him?"

  "If I had, then you'd be telling me how awful I am for hurting the poor, stark raving mad lunatic."

  "Like I said, shoot first." The man made a rude gesture. Vivian could see the anger boiling up inside her husband. He was like a pressure cooker ready to blow.

  "Let it go, Antonio." She grabbed his wrist but he snapped his arm out of her hold.

  Antonio lunged before she could stop him, fists flying. He shoved the man backward, in to the crowded bleachers behind them.

  "Antonio! No!"

  Whistles blew, the buzzers sounded, and time out was called as the referees ran up in to the bleachers to try and pull them apart. The entire gym became complete chaos. Finally, one of the referees pulled her husband off the other guy and dragged him out of the bleachers. Tony stood at the bottom, his expression one of total horror when he realized it was his father being pulled from the crowd.

  "Dad!" he yelled over the crowd but no one heard him except her.

  The two refs led Antonio out of the gym to where the officer on duty stood. Vivian ran after them, waving at Tony to stay put. She wanted to keep him out of it as much as she could.

  "He's one of yours." One of the refs pointed at the badge on a chain that had come out of Antonio’s shirt during the fight.

  "Thanks guys. I'll take it from here."

  "Would've been nice if you'd been inside. It's not in my job description to break up fights," the older of the two referees commented as they walked back toward the gym.

  "Next time you can handle the two juveniles fighting outside then and I'll do that."

  The door to the gym slammed shut without either of them replying.

  "Are you okay?" Vivian asked Antonio, reaching for him.

  He sidestepped her with a growl. "I'm fine."

  "Hey, man, you gotta calm down."

  "What're you doing here, Stuber?" Antonio picked up the hem of his shirt and dabbed at a cut over his right eye.

  "Extra duty. For dumbasses like you that start fights at a kids' game."

  "It wasn't me!" Antonio paced the hallway. "He was talkin' shit about Gary."

  "So, you decided to deck him? To protect Gary's memory?"

  "He said the guy was mental and we didn't have to shoot him just because he was shootin' off a rifle in a neighborhood. If we had better training we'd have been able to stop him before anyone died."

  Stuber looked over at Vivian. "Is that what happened?"

  "Of course, it is!"

  He nodded. "Okay, man, you need to go take a walk. Let things simmer down some."

  Antonio ran his fingers through his hair. His cheeks still held a bright flush and his dark eyes were shiny with adrenaline. "My kid's playing. I want to watch the game."

  "Go cool down first. When you get calm, come back, and I'll go in with you."

  Antonio looked from Stuber to her and back again.

  "Come on, baby, let's go outside for a minute. I need some fresh air too." She reached for his hand once more. This time he let her touch him.

  "Fine. But then I'm watching the game."

  "Okay." She led him to the door and out into the cold night air. Instantly, the heat in her own skin cooled off. Antonio still looked like a volcano ready to explode though.

  He walked the length of the bus drive, cursing and punching at the air. Vivian waited, watching as her husband worked through his demons. Finally, he joined her over by the doors.

  "Okay. I'm good."

  She reached up and pressed a palm to his cheek. "Are you sure you don’t want me to take you home? There will be other games."

  He shook his head. "No. I want to see Tony play tonight."

  "I'm not sure you should go back in there."

  "I said I'm staying!"

  Vivian didn't respond. She just pulled open the door and walked back into the building. Antonio followed behind her muttering curses under his breath.

  When they reached the gym doors she stopped and looked at him. "Behave. I mean it, Antonio. For your son."

  As she pulled open the door to enter the gymnasium, Tony ran by them dribbling the ball, then jumped and took a shot at the basket. The loud whoosh of the ball through the net brought on a huge round of cheers.

  "Woo Hoo! Go Tony!" she yelled as they found a seat on the bleachers, nowhere near where they had been.

  "Damn, he's really gotten good," Antonio said.

  She nodded. "He really has."

  "I hate that I've missed so many of his games."

  "He understands. Your job is who you are. We both know it and we both get it. I'm just glad you are here tonight. He needs your support."

  What she really wanted to say was that he'd missed every game of the season so far and it took his sergeant forcing him to take the night off because his best friend died to get him there, but she held her tongue. It wouldn't have done any good at all to say any of it.

  Time felt incredibly short all of a sudden and the desire to spend as much of it together as they could won out over her need to pick that fight.

  When the game ended, they waited for Tony outside. Several college scouts had actually shown up and a couple wanted to speak with him. As soon as the final buzzer rang, she could see the tension and stress return to her husband's face. By the time they got through the doors, he was coiled tighter than a spring, bouncing on the balls of his feet with his hands shoved in the pockets of his jacket.

  The parking lot had almost cleared completely by the time Tony exited the building. He jogged toward them, his wet hair falling in his eyes and his gear bag bouncing against his hip.

  "Hey, buddy!" Antonio ruffled Tony's wild hair. "You did a great job out there tonight!"

  "Thanks, Dad. A couple school coaches felt the same way."

  "Hey, asshat!"

  They all turned to see the man that Antonio had fought with earlier that night.

  "Back off. Don't ruin my kid's big night."

  "Pretty sure I'm not gonna be the one to ruin his life." To Tony, the man said, "Great game tonight. I'm glad your old man didn't do anything stupid to ruin it, like get into a fight with a complete stranger."

  "Dad?" Tony looked at him, questions in his eyes.

  "It wasn't me! It was him." He pointed at the man. "He started the whole thing."

  "Seriously, Dad? I saw it all."

  "Yeah," the man taunted. "Too bad it wasn't you that got shot up last night. Stupid, waste of skin."

  "Son of a bitch!" Antonio lunged, grabbing the man up by the collar. "If you don't shut your fucking mouth, I'm gonna cut your tongue out!"

  "And they say cops aren't violent."

  Antonio's other hand gathered in to a fist but Vivian grabbed on to it.

  "Don't! He's not worth it!"

  "Back off, Viv!" He shook his arm loose, and she stumbled backward falling to the asphalt.

  "Mom! Are you okay?" Tony dropped his bag and ran to her. "Look what you did, Dad! What's wrong with you?"

  Antonio turned to look at them, Vivian on the ground and Tony squatting next to her holding her hand, and something in his expression changed. He tossed the man to the ground and took off across the lot.

  "Antonio!" Vivian scrambled to her feet as she called after him.

  "Let him go," Tony said. "I don't want him around right now."

  "I don't blame ya, kid. Your old man's a real piece of work."

  Tony jumped up and got right in the man's face. "Don't talk about my father. You don't know anything about him."

  "Come on, honey, let's get out of here." Vivian took her son by the arm and led him away.

  "Why does he do that?" Tony asked as they got into the car.

  "He's under a lot of stress right now. Cut him a little slack, okay?" She turned the car on and adjusted the defroster.

  "Sure. Why not? It's only my entire fu
ture at stake."

  Vivian patted his knee. "Drama much?"

  Tony crossed his arms over his chest and turned to stare out the window. "Whatever."

  She grabbed her phone and typed out a quick text to Marietta. Antonio took off. Can you ask Ricky to call him? He won't answer my texts.

  Will do. Marietta typed back.

  By the time they got home and Tony stomped off, she still hadn't heard from Antonio or Marietta. Going to the kitchen, she poured a glass of milk and sat down at the table to wait.

  An hour and fifteen minutes later, a car pulled into the driveway. She ran to the front door and pulled it open just in time to see Ricky pull Antonio from the back of his patrol car.

  "Get your hands off me, dude!" He stumbled and fell to his knees. Even from where she stood, she could hear him slurring his words.

  "Get yourself together, man. You're acting like a dumbass." Ricky leaned down and scooped Antonio up under the arms.

  "I'm fine!" He shoved at Ricky, who reached behind him and grabbed Antonio's belt.

  "Let's just get you inside. You need to sleep it off, buddy."

  "What happened?" Vivian asked.

  "Found him at O'Malley's drinking his sorrows."

  Vivian stepped out of the way to let them pass. "Thanks for bringing him home, Ricky."

  "I can walk on my own!" Antonio pulled away from Ricky's hold on him and stumbled, slamming into the wall. His foot kicked out hard, breaking a hole in the drywall. "Fuck! Look what you made me do! I need a beer."

  Antonio stumbled his way to the kitchen, leaving Vivian and Ricky in the hall.

  "You gonna be all right with him like that?" Ricky asked.

  Vivian nodded. "Yeah. He'll pass out in his chair yelling at ESPN."

  "This happens a lot?"

  She shook her head. "Not really. When his father died a couple of years ago and one other time that I forget why. He needs time to figure out how to handle all the emotions."

  "I don't like leaving you alone." A loud bang sounded from the family room. Ricky started to walk in that direction. "I need to check on him."

  "He just threw himself into his chair. It slides back and hits the wall. Tony's here. I'll be fine."

  Ricky stopped walking. "Are you sure?"

  "Yup. Listen. The television will turn on in a second." As soon as she finished her sentence, the sound of the nightly news echoed toward them. "He'll be out cold in ten minutes."

  "You sure you don't need me to do anything?" Ricky looked back over his shoulder toward the family room. "Taze him, maybe? Or I could cuff him and lock him in a closet?"

  Vivian laughed and pushed Ricky toward the door. "I'm sure. I'm just going to go to bed myself. It's been a hell of a couple of days."

  "All right, then. I'm gonna head into work. They are still trying to get a lead on the guy that shot Gary."

  "I know I fucked up! You don't have to remind me!" Antonio yelled from the family room.

  "How the hell did he hear us?"

  Vivian shrugged. "Sometimes I'd swear he has superpowers. Thanks again for getting him home safely."

  "No problem. You take care, Viv, and call me if you need anything else. Okay?"

  She smiled at his super serious expression. "Okay. But I'll be fine." Vivian pulled open the door and followed Ricky out onto the porch. "Be safe out there."

  "Always." Ricky gave her a little salute then slid in behind the steering wheel. He was gone from the drive before she could lock the door. Antonio's snores echoed down the hall so she climbed the steps and headed to their bedroom.

  She considered being mad at him but in the end all she could do is be grateful she still had him around to do stupid things.

  Antonio could be a real ass sometimes, but he was hers and she loved him.

  Chapter Seven

  Marietta

  Marietta poured herself another glass of wine. What did it matter if she finished the whole bottle now? Walking from the kitchen to the living room, she checked the time on her watch. Nine thirty. Ricky would be at work soon. Another non-existent date night.

  When she'd gotten the text from Vivian, she'd almost ignored it. Good old-fashioned Catholic guilt forced her to open it and read the message though. Ricky put on his uniform and left ten minutes later to find his drunk friend before he did something to jeopardize his job.

  She could still smell the cologne he'd used after his shower. They were supposed to be heading to their favorite Mexican restaurant where she planned to drown her sorrows in the world's biggest margarita after she gave him the news.

  Another negative test. Another month older and further away from starting the family they'd wanted for the last ten years.

  She just needed to accept that they were destined to grow old childless and alone. Eleanor had her boys, Vivian had Tony, and she had a lifetime of negative pregnancy tests and the crushed hopes and broken dreams to go along with them.

  It had been almost two hours since he'd left and not a word. Grabbing her phone, she set down the now empty glass of wine and picked up the half empty bottle before heading to her bedroom.

  Setting the bottle on her dresser and tossing the phone on the bed, she stripped out of her clothes and pulled on a loose nightgown. Cotton flannel. No need for the nice, sexy stuff now when the only company she had was the bottle on the dresser.

  Her phone sounded, indicating an incoming text. Ricky.

  She snatched it up and swiped to open the message.

  Found him. Drunk and stupid at O'Malleys. Dropped him at home and headed to work. Call you later.

  She typed back. Glad you got him. Be safe. Love you. No need for him to know she was upset. Then she'd have to explain why and Ricky didn't need that on his mind when he had to be focused for work.

  Always.

  His usual reply made her smile a little through her annoyance. That had been their routine for all twelve years of their marriage. Now it was her turn to get drunk and stupid. Well, drunker anyway.

  She turned the television on and searched for a rerun of Law and Order: SVU. Once she found what she was looking for, she climbed under the covers and leaned up against the headboard, bottle in one hand and her cell phone in the other.

  It took exactly three minutes for the tears to come.

  "No more!" she yelled at Benson and Stabler. "I'm done with this pregnancy bullshit. No more roller coaster for me. I want off this stupid ride."

  Downing a long swallow of wine, she grabbed a throw pillow and threw it across the room, hitting the bureau the television sat on.

  "Plenty of women never have kids. They have careers and they travel and do amazing things." Another swig from the bottle. "Who am I kidding? All I do is laundry and dishes and yard work and grocery shop and scrub toilets."

  Her phone chimed. She looked at the screen and saw Ricky's name.

  Someone called in a location on the tip line. Going after the guy now. Can you text Viv so she can tell Antonio?

  She set the bottle down on her nightstand and replied. Be careful, please. I'll let Viv know. Eleanor too. I love you.

  Eventually, the phone chimed again. Love you too. Should she be worried he didn't give his usual response? The guy they were going after was dangerous and Ricky was more than likely in work mode. It just felt—foreboding.

  Instead of texting, she dialed Vivian's number.

  Vivian answered in a whisper. "You okay, Mari? It's late."

  "I know. I'm sorry. Ricky just texted. Said they got a tip and they are going after the guy. He thought you might want to tell Antonio."

  "That man is crashed out in the living room, sleeping off at least half a bottle of Jack Daniels. A steam engine couldn't wake him up right now. Thank Ricky again for me for getting him home. I'll tell him in the morning. Will you keep me posted?"

  "Of course. I'm going to call Eleanor now."

  "Do you think you should?" Vivian asked.

  Marietta sat up higher in the bed. "Why not? I'd want to know."


  "Me too. If they get the guy. But if we tell her every time something like this happens, she'll get her hopes up and if it doesn't work out, she has to deal with that all over again."

  "So, you are assuming they won't find him tonight?"

  Vivian sighed. "No. I'm just not sure. Do what you think is right."

  "You've known her a lot longer than I have. What should I do?"

  "If it were up to me, I'd wait. It's late. Hopefully she's finally getting some sleep. But, make sure you call or text me if you hear anything else. I'm wide awake now."

  "Okay. I've finished three quarters of a bottle of wine myself so I am just going to sit here and wallow in a little self-pity."

  "Another negative test, huh? I'm so sorry, Mari."

  She shrugged, but then remembered Vivian couldn't see her. "It's okay. Some women just aren’t meant to be mothers, I guess."

  "I wish I could give you a hug right now."

  Marietta dabbed at some dampness in the corners of her eyes with the bedsheet. "I'm fine. Really. I don't even hope anymore. That way I can't get too disappointed. Besides, Eleanor needs us right now."

  "That doesn't make your pain any less, just because hers is so prominent."

  "Yeah, I totally see how you can compare a baby that never existed with a man who was murdered. Yup. Makes perfect sense, Viv."

  "You know that's not what I mean." Vivian sounded frustrated. "You don't have to be a bitch about it."

  "I'm sorry, I know I'm being bitchy. I'm just gonna call it a night. If I hear anything, I'll let you know."

  "Okay. I'll keep my phone on next to me. Sweet dreams, my friend."

  "Yeah, you too." Marietta disconnected the call and slid back down in the bed, feeling bad for snapping at Vivian. The wine had gone to her head and made her eyes heavy. She set the phone volume on high and turned off the light by her bed, leaving the television on for background noise.

  She had no idea how much time had passed when her phone rang next to her head. Fumbling for it, she turned it on and put it to her ear without looking at the screen.

  "Hello?" she mumbled.

  "Did I wake you, babe? I'm sorry. Go back to bed."

  Marietta sat up. "No! I'm awake. What happened?"

  Ricky let out a long breath. "We were too late. He'd been there. Left about ten minutes before we got there and no one seemed to know where he'd gone."