The Line That Binds

by Carolyn LaRoche

  "Yes. I think we would. Thank you again, Father."

  "Of course, my dear."

  Eleanor, Jameson, and Jackson followed him into the sanctuary of the church. The overwhelming scent of a hundred different types of flowers assaulted them as they entered the large room.

  "They've been arriving since yesterday." Father Thompson motioned toward the many arrangements surrounding the altar and the casket at the front of the church. "He was loved. There is no doubt about that."

  "Wow, Mom. I bet Dad had no idea how many people cared about him," Jameson said.

  "Gary touched a lot of lives, Jameson," Father Thompson said.

  "Yeah, I guess," he replied.

  "You boys can go ahead." She motioned to the place where Gary lay. "I need a moment."

  "What do we do?" Jackson asked as they walked toward the front of the church.

  "Say your goodbyes, idiot," Jameson said.

  "It's not like he can hear us. Seems stupid talking to a dead body."

  Eleanor turned to Father Thompson. "Jackson is very literal. Please excuse him."

  "Oh, Eleanor, dear. Everyone grieves in their own way. Those boys have a lot to work through. They are still in shock, even if they don't know it."

  "I've been worrying about them. Neither of them seems phased by any of this. No tears, no anger. It's like it either hasn't hit them yet or they don't care all that much."

  "Of course, they care!" Father Thompson said. "They look and sound so much like their father, I imagine they handle their emotions in much the same way he did as well."

  "Gary was definitely one to bottle up all his feelings. I'd only seen him cry once or twice our entire relationship."

  Jackson and Jameson stood in front of the casket, shoulder to shoulder. They weren't moving or speaking that she could hear but they had both appeared to lose some of the stiffness in their stature as they stood there.

  "Go ahead, Eleanor. Take a moment with them. I'll open the doors to the visitors in a few minutes."

  "Thank you, Father."

  He nodded and walked toward the foyer. Eleanor approached the boys slowly, not at all anxious to see her husband's form laying so still in that borrowed box.

  "Hi, Mom," Jameson said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. There were tears in his eyes but his voice stayed strong.

  "How come the casket is opened? I thought we told them closed," Jackson asked.

  "More than likely they left it like that for us. I'll make sure it gets shut."

  "Okay," he replied.

  "If you boys are done, I'd like a minute with your father alone?"

  "Of course. Come on, Jack, let's go sit." Jameson took his brother by the arm and led him away.

  When she was alone, Eleanor stepped forward and got her first look at Gary's body since the hospital. She'd avoided seeing him at the calling hours the day before, afraid she would break down uncontrollably. Today though, she felt like she needed one last look to convince herself he was really gone.

  "Hey, baby," she whispered. "I sure do miss you." Looking around to make sure no one else could hear her, she stepped a little closer. "Remember our first date, when you took me for the sunset picnic at the beach? You were so nervous your hands shook when you handed me a tuna sandwich. I never told you but I hated tuna then. I'm still not a fan but I spent the last twenty or so years pretending to tolerate it so you'd never know our entire relationship was built on a lie." Eleanor laughed quietly. "Imagine keeping such a stupid secret all these years."

  Reaching out, she touched the back of his hand with her finger tips lightly then took his hand in hers. For a brief moment, she could have sworn she felt warmth in his hand. Ridiculous amounts of hope filled her. Could it all have just been a horrible mistake?

  "Gary?" She squeezed his hand a little tighter, almost expecting him to squeeze back. Hoping he would; that it had all be some kind of cruel joke. She studied his face. His features were still so strong and defined but the warmth he always radiated was gone.

  "We were supposed to have a hundred more picnics like that. I know you didn't do it on purpose but I feel like you ditched me here to pick up all the pieces of life without you in it. I'm pissed, Gary. Really, really pissed." A couple of salty drops slid over the planes of her cheeks and dripped off her chin. One landed on Gary's hand that she still held. Eleanor rubbed her thumb over it. The drop just sort of rolled off his skin, the waxy texture of his flesh unnerving.

  Letting go of his hand, she pressed a kiss to her fingertips and then pressed her fingers to his lips. "Even though I'm mad at you I still love you. I loved you when we were ten and I will love you when I am one hundred. Wait for me, baby. I'll get there one day."

  The tears she'd been holding back spilled over and ran down her cheeks.

  "I don't know how to do this life without you." Wiping at her eyes with her sleeve, she straightened up and took a deep breath.

  "Eleanor?"

  She turned and found Vivian and Antonio standing behind her. Vivian hugged her. Antonio just nodded. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

  "Father's letting people in now. How are you?"

  "About how you'd expect." She stepped over to Antonio and grabbed him in a hug. "Thank you, Antonio. I'm so glad he wasn't alone and had someone who cared with him until I could get there."

  "There's nothing to thank me for," he replied. "I did what anyone would have done."

  Eleanor shook her head. "No, not just anyone. His best friend."

  He shrugged. "Whatever." The darkness in his eyes worried her.

  She reached up and touched his cheek. "When was the last time you slept?"

  "Last night."

  She shook her head. "I mean really slept."

  He sighed. "The night before the shooting, I guess."

  "Let it go, Antonio. Please. He wouldn't want you to blame yourself for anything."

  He closed his eyes and cleared his throat but didn't say anything.

  "The casket is supposed to be closed," Eleanor said to Vivian.

  "I got it." Antonio reached up and pulled the lid down.

  "Thank you." The church was getting pretty full at that point so she motioned to the pews. "Sit with us? Marietta and Ricky too."

  "I need some air. I'll be right back." Antonio strode off toward the doors.

  "He's really struggling," Vivian said. "I wasn't even sure I could get him here."

  "It’s okay. He's carrying some heavy weight right now." Eleanor looked out over the sanctuary of the church. "Look at this, Viv."

  Nearly every pew in the church was filled already. Hundreds of officers from all the surrounding departments formed a sea of blue that seemed endless.

  "Wow," Vivian said. "They are still coming in too. Look. The back of the church is standing room only."

  "You should see it outside," Marietta said, joining them. "Police cars from as far north as Maine are parked in the lot."

  "They couldn't all possibly have known Gary."

  "No," Ricky said. "They didn't know him. They are here to pay their respects on behalf of their agencies."

  "It's so—overwhelming." Tears overflowed onto her cheeks and ran down to her chin.

  Marietta wrapped an arm around her. "You and the boys are their family."

  They walked over to the first pew and Eleanor sat between her boys. They each took one of her hands and held them. Father Thompson stepped on to the altar and the mass began. When it came time for people to speak about Gary, Eleanor rose and walked to the pulpit. On the stand she found a bottle of water and a box of tissues. She would more than likely need one of those things anyway. Taking a deep breath, she looked out over the massive crowd.

  "Thank you, everyone for coming today. It is a such an honor to know that the man I love will be missed by so many. He was the best husband a woman could ask for and an amazing father. He gave his all to every single thing he did from loving us to doing the job he was born to do. Gary and I met in grade school. He liked to pull m
y hair and once he even put a frog in my book bag. It took us many years to become a couple, but I really think I always loved him."

  She grabbed a tissue and wiped at her eyes, taking a moment to compose herself. Every word brought her closer to breaking down but she was determined to get through this. The world needed to know what kind of man they'd lost.

  "When we were seniors in high school, Gary and I attended prom together. He wore this God-awful baby blue tuxedo." She paused when a ripple of laughter passed through the crowd.

  "He was so proud of that tux even though it didn’t come close to matching the emerald green of my gown. He came walking up to my front door all pride and swagger as my mother and I watched from the window. Mom begged me not to laugh before she opened the door. Right, Mom?" She glanced at her mother in the front row and saw her smile as she dabbed her eyes.

  "I swear I was convinced for a decade that Gary was color blind and just hadn't fessed up to it. Years later, when we showed a picture to our boys, Jackson asked why he'd chosen that particular suit and Gary said, ‘It exactly matches the color of your mother's eyes’."

  A chorus of aws and sighs filled the room.

  "I will never find a love like that again. Not if I lived three more lifetimes."

  She stopped and looked around the church. The crowd was silent, watching her. Eleanor took a deep breath.

  "Gary loved being a cop. It was coded into his genes. I can't imagine him doing anything else in his life. He was born to wear the uniform as much as that blue tuxedo and he wore it with pride and dedication every single day on the job. A lot of people over the years have asked me why I married him knowing that police work was his dream. My answer every single time has been because I love him. He couldn't have been anything else. His morals and ethics never wavered. He did the job with grace, always treating people like human beings first."

  Eleanor paused. The next part would be the hardest to get out. There were many sniffles in the audience. Several people held tissues to their eyes. She had to finish this though. Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, she began again.

  "Gary had a huge heart. He loved us, he loved his friends, and he loved his entire family of blue. Most of you don't know this, but I heard, over the phone, the officer needs assistance call that he responded to that night. His blue brother, his best friend, needed help and he dropped everything to help him. I always knew he'd give his life selflessly to protect another and he did not let me down. He saved his best friend's life and probably the lives of many innocent people that night. Gary did not die in vain. He went out of this world the same way he lived his life—

  with passion, dedication and love for his fellow human."

  The tears had taken over by then and she let them. There wasn't a dry eye looking back at her from the church. She looked over at the box that represented all that was left of her husband.

  "I love you with all my heart, Gary. I always will. I'm so proud of you. Rest in peace sweetheart, we'll all take it from here."

  The room filled with clapping and echoes of rest in peace, we got this and we'll take it on from here filled the sanctuary. She stepped down from the pulpit and returned to her seat. Vivian reached over and squeezed her hand. Eleanor noticed Antonio was gone again but Father Thompson moved on to the next part of the mass so she didn't get the chance to ask about him.

  Thirty minutes later, to the sound of bagpipes playing Amazing Grace, Eleanor, Jackson, and Jameson followed Gary's flag covered casket out of the church. Antonio and Ricky, Connor, and three other guys from his shift carried him to the car waiting to take him back to the funeral home. When they reached the car, the flag was removed, folded, and presented to her by Gary's lieutenant, Hank Jerry.

  "On behalf of the governor of Virginia, the chief of police, and the people of a grateful city of Virginia Beach, please accept this flag as a token of our sincere appreciation for the service of Detective Gary Hart."

  "Th—thank you." She accepted the flag with Jackson and Jameson at her sides.

  Men and women in blue lined the driveway of the church and police cars lined the road in front of the church as the car carrying Gary slowly drove away. In unison, every officer saluted. When the car passed under the American flag and turned on to the road, police cars from up and down the east coast fell in around it on all sides, like a cocoon of protection, tucking their brother in safely and escorting him to his final destination.

  Eleanor hugged the flag to her chest, watching the car until it went out of sight. "Good bye, sweetheart. I love you."

  Ricky pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen. He said something to Antonio and they both walked over to where Eleanor still stood with Vivian and Marietta.

  "We've got to go to the station for a bit," Ricky said.

  "Antonio too?" Vivian asked.

  "Yes. Lieutenant Jerry just sent us all a text. Something came up with the shooter and he needs both of us to go with him," Ricky replied, nodding toward the lieutenant.

  "I'll be okay." Antonio kissed Vivian on the cheek before she could say anything.

  She nodded.

  "Will someone tell me what happens please?" Eleanor asked.

  "Of course." Ricky gave her a hug. "If you need anything, anything at all, you call me, okay?"

  "Maybe you know an HVAC guy? The heat isn’t working downstairs and I keep forgetting to find someone to fix it." Of all the things for her to think of in that moment. "Geez, I didn't even think of this. Our house is really cold. I hope the guests don't mind."

  Ricky smiled. "All those bodies will warm it up. Mari's got the name of our guy. She will send you his number."

  "I'll do it as soon as we get to your house, El." Marietta kissed Ricky. "You two go. Get this guy off the streets."

  "I think I want to go home now," Eleanor said.

  "Joseph is waiting over there." Jackson pointed toward the car they'd arrived in.

  "Go ahead. Viv and I will be right behind you to set all the food out," Marietta said.

  She nodded and let her sons lead her to the car. She held the flag close to her as they drove to the house, the stars and stripes all she had left of the man she'd planned to grow old with. Gary was gone for good. He'd never be coming home again.

  Chapter Nine

  Marietta

  "Hi, honey. What's up?" Marietta walked in to the powder room and closed the door. So many people were still at Eleanor's house, she could hardly hear anything.

  "Where are you?" Ricky sounded a little frantic which was odd for her usually stoic husband.

  "At Eleanor's still."

  "Are Vivian and Tony still there too?"

  She leaned against the sink and put the phone on speaker. "Yes. Why?"

  "Okay. Good. All of you stay there and don't leave. A car is coming by to sit outside. Don't go anywhere until you hear from me."

  She paced the tiny space. Something was up. He never acted like this. "Ricky? What's going on? You're scaring me."

  "Don't say anything to anyone but Vivian, and Eleanor if you think she can handle it. The guy that shot Gary called into 9-1-1 this afternoon during the funeral."

  "Is he turning himself in?"

  Ricky exhaled. "Not exactly."

  "Do you know where he is?"

  "We know where the call came from. We're headed there in a second."

  "So, what does that have to do with us?"

  "When he called, he said—he threatened me and Antonio. Said he was gonna do to us what he did to that other cop."

  Marietta sat down on the toilet seat cover. "For real?"

  "Yeah. For real. I don't want to risk him coming after you or Vivian or Eleanor. He knew our names, so he probably figured out where we live."

  "Oh, Ricky. Please be careful. Maybe you guys should let someone else go after him. Isn't Antonio on leave?"

  "Chief said he could come back to work until we get this guy. I think he's worried too. Hey, I gotta go."

  "Okay. I love you.
Please, please stay safe."

  "Always. I love you too."

  Marietta shut off her phone but she didn't leave the bathroom just yet. She needed time to process what Ricky had just said. He didn't do their usual thing where he said I know like Han Solo. He actually said I love you back, like he was worried he might not get to say it again. That scared her the most.

  A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. "Just a second!" Marietta turned on the water and splashed some of the cool liquid on her face. After drying off with the towel on the counter, she opened the door.

  "Everything okay?" Vivian leaned against the wall across from the bathroom looking worried.

  "Come here." Marietta waved her in to the bathroom. "I don't want anyone to overhear."

  Vivian walked in to the powder room and Marietta closed the door behind them.

  "Something's wrong, isn't it? I can tell by your expression." When Vivian got upset she spoke very fast, sometimes throwing in some Italian phrases that sounded very much like the Spanish ones Marietta's mother had often used.

  "Ricky just called. Something's happened."

  "What? Tell me."

  "The man who shot Gary made a call into 9-1-1 and threatened to kill Ricky and Antonio as well."

  "Are you freaking serious?" Vivian shouted.

  "Shhh! He said not to tell anyone."

  Vivian clapped a hand to her mouth. "Sorry," she whispered. "What else did he say?"

  "They just want us all to hang out here for a while until he or Antonio calls again. They are sending a car to watch the house while the guys go after him."

  "Should we tell Eleanor?"

  Marietta shook her head. "I don't think so. At least not yet. Gary's already gone so the guy has no reason to come here. At least, that's what I hope."

  "There's a lot of people here still. Eleanor's mother is following her around like a puppy. I think Ellie's about to lose it on her."

  Marietta shrugged. "I don't know how I'd feel or what I'd want. I'm sure her mama doesn't know any other way to help."

  "I guess. We should probably get back out there. At least we can run interference if Eleanor does snap."

  Vivian nodded. "Yeah. And we can keep an eye out for the patrol unit."