The Line That Binds

by Carolyn LaRoche

  The drive to Marietta and Ricky's house went smoothly. Her mom seemed content to look out the window and make the occasional comment on Christmas decorations. Jackson and Jameson bantered like they always did and she just listened to it all, feeling the absence of Gary on this day of thanks intensely. She didn't feel the least bit thankful, although she knew she should. She had her boys, and Gary's insurance and department benefits would take care of them for a long time. No amount of money replaced his presence in their lives though.

  Jackson parked the car on the road in front of the Vasquez house and they all got out.

  "Let me walk with you Gammy?" Jameson asked, taking her arm and escorting her up the steep driveway. Funny how her mother didn't yell at him when he suggested helping her up the drive.

  "Hello!" Marietta stood in the doorway, a huge smile on her face. "Happy Thanksgiving!"

  "Hi, Ms. Mari," Jameson said as he helped his grandmother off with her coat.

  "Happy Thanksgiving," Jackson said.

  Marietta grabbed Eleanor up in a tight hug. "Hi, sweetie. How are you doing?" she whispered in Eleanor's ear.

  Eleanor shrugged, afraid to try and make words with another round of tears on standby.

  "Come on in!" Marietta took her by the hand, leading the way. "I put out some snacks in the living room for everyone while I finish up dinner."

  "Can I help you in the kitchen?"

  Marietta waved a hand in the air, dismissing the offer. "I think I have everything under control, Helen. Thank you though."

  Eleanor’s mother scowled but held her tongue and went to the couch to sit down and Eleanor sent up a silent prayer of thanks. Her mother rarely kept her thoughts to herself. Maybe they'd get through this day with minimum drama after all.

  "Hey, boys," Ricky entered the room. "Anyone up for some football?"

  "Duh!" Jameson answered. "It's Thanksgiving."

  The boys attacked the cheese and crackers and other snacks while Ricky pulled up the football game. Eleanor sat in a chair by a window, watching her sons eat and yell at the television with Ricky.

  It should have been Gary they spent this time with.

  Getting up from the couch, her mother wandered around, picking up little knickknacks, looking at photos and talking to herself. After a few minutes she disappeared down the hallway that led to the kitchen.

  Eleanor got up and headed after her. Marietta didn't need to deal with her mother. When she made it to the kitchen, her mom was standing at the stove lifting various pot lids and stirring things.

  Marietta was at the counter by the refrigerator, pouring two large glasses of wine. "Ah, Eleanor, I was about to bring this to you." Marietta handed her one of the glasses, glancing toward Helen and rolling her eyes.

  "Thanks." She accepted the glass and took a long sip. "Mom? What are you doing? I told you Mari had it all under control. She doesn't need your help."

  "Can't an old woman poke around the kitchen without being harassed?"

  "You aren't being harassed and this isn't your kitchen," Eleanor replied.

  "Drink more," Marietta whispered as she walked by her to the wall oven.

  Eleanor did as she was told, finishing off the glass and setting it on the counter.

  "Do you think that's really a good idea?"

  "Is what a good idea?" Eleanor asked, pouring more wine.

  "Drinking it so fast like that." Her mother walked over and reached for her glass.

  Eleanor snatched it away, spilling some of its contents on to the floor. "Give that back. I'm a grown woman. I'll drink wine if I want to."

  "So, your sons can see you get drunk and act stupid?" Her mother retreated to the other side if the room.

  Marietta sent her a look that nearly caused Eleanor to spit out her newest sip of wine.

  "In case you've forgotten, the twins are adults. Twenty-one years old next month. I'm sure they can handle it."

  "You've been so argumentative lately, Eleanor. I don't get it."

  "Are you actually serious right now?" Eleanor lost her cool, practically screaming at her mother. She gripped the stem of her glass so hard it snapped in her hand. "My husband just died. Your feelings have not been my primary concern."

  Blood dripped from her palm as the glass crashed to the floor.

  "Eleanor! You're bleeding!" Marietta grabbed a dish towel and wrapped around her hand.

  "It's just a scratch," Eleanor said.

  "You're really working on the drama lately, Eleanor," her mom said, crossing her arms over her chest.

  "You're kidding, right?" Eleanor asked, much louder than she'd planned. "Some lunatic shot my husband in the middle of the street and I heard the entire thing. Do you know how hard it is to get those sounds, those memories out of my head? I'm trying to pick up the broken pieces of my life and find a way to put them all back together and your silly feelings are hurt because I didn't let you cook a turkey?" By the time the words had all tumbled out, she was sobbing and her mother looked like she'd just lost her best friend.

  Marietta wrapped an arm around Eleanor and tried to lead her back to the living room but Eleanor stayed rooted to the floor. She had so much more to say.

  "I appreciate you coming here and staying with us during the funeral and stuff. But, Momma, it's time to go home."

  "So, you don't need me then?"

  Tears ran in rivers down Eleanor's face. So many emotions she'd worked to keep wrapped up tight all sprung loose at once. "It's not that I don't need you. I just need to start working things on my own. Like Gary's clothes—"

  The older woman turned red in the face. "I told you I was just trying to help!"

  "I get that. But it's something I have to do."

  Ricky appeared in the doorway, with Jackson and Jameson right behind him. "What happened? We heard something break."

  "It's nothing," Mari said, holding a broom. "Eleanor just dropped her glass."

  "Are you okay, Mom?" Jameson pushed past Ricky and ran to her, Jackson following. "You're crying and there's blood on your shirt."

  Eleanor kissed his cheek. "I'm fine, honey. Just broke my glass like Ms. Mari said."

  "Why does Grammy look so upset?" Jackson asked.

  "Your mother wants me to go home, so I'll be leaving in the morning. Jackson, could you please drive me back to your place so I can pack my things?"

  "No, Mom. That's not what I meant." Eleanor gave up fighting back the sobs. "I just need you to let me mourn my way and on my time."

  She crossed the room, carefully avoiding the mess on the floor and stood in front of Eleanor, deep sadness clouding the blue in her eyes. The same blue Eleanor's own eyes were. "I guess your father has been gone long enough that I forgot what it felt like to want some control over my life in the wake of his death. The things I've tried to do, they weren't to speed up your mourning or take things from you, they were an attempt to make this a little easier for you. I'll back off. I really do think it’s time for me to head home. I hate the thought of you being alone but I have come to understand that you, in fact, are not alone because you have surrounded yourself such good friends."

  She reached up and touched Eleanor's face with her palm. "I'm so sorry you've lost Gary the way you did. I'm even more sorry that my presence has caused you so much more pain."

  Eleanor shook her head. "No, Mom, you haven't. I just need time to figure out how to do all of this by myself. Which kind of requires me to be by myself."

  "Oh, Ellie." Eleanor found herself wrapped up in a hug. "That's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done—being all alone in that big house. I wish I could take away all of your pain."

  Marietta opened the oven and pulled the turkey out, placing it on top of the stove. "Before anyone goes anywhere, how about we all sit down and eat together, and thank the good Lord we have all this delicious food and each other to spend this day with?"

  "I think that sounds like a great plan," Jackson said, offering his arm to his grandmother. "Come on, Grammy, let's go eat."


  She accepted his arm but also picked up a bowl of veggies and handed them to him. "The least we can do is bring these to the table." She let Jackson lead her from the room, Jameson right behind them.

  Eleanor sagged against the counter. "I'm so sorry we ruined your Thanksgiving,"

  "Oh, sweetie, you didn't ruin anything!" Marietta slung an arm around her. "That was bound to happen sooner or later. It's good that you were here with us instead of all alone with her when it did."

  "Yeah, I suppose."

  Jameson and Ricky were grabbing serving bowls loaded with veggies and other sides and carrying them to the table. Marietta set to slicing the turkey and putting a good bit on a platter.

  The more tasty smells that filled the kitchen, the more acutely aware Eleanor became of her own hunger. "Thank you, Mari, for inviting us today. I'm not sure how that would have gone if we were at home."

  "That's what friends are for."

  "Come on, you two." Jackson stuck his head back into the kitchen. "I'm about to eat it all myself."

  Mari shooed him off with the dishtowel in her hand. "We will be right there." She picked up the platter. "Come on, Ellie. Let's do this."

  Eleanor followed her to the dining room.

  "Everything smells so good, babe," Ricky said, scooping piles of stuffing and mashed potatoes on to his plate.

  "Oh, yeah," Jameson said around a mouth full of food.

  "It does smell good," Helen said, grabbing a piece of turkey with her fork.

  Eleanor looked around at all the people at the table—people who love her and had loved Gary—and couldn't help but be just the tiniest bit thankful for all of them and the others who'd shown her and her sons so much love and kindness the last few weeks.

  When dinner was done and they'd helped clean up, Eleanor hugged her friend. "I'm going to get Mom home and I have to drop the boys at the police station. They are going to bring Gary's truck home."

  "I didn't realize you still hadn't done that."

  "The thought of it sitting in the driveway, a constant reminder…" Eleanor sighed. "I just couldn't deal with it. But it's time, you know?"

  Marietta nodded. "Yeah. I'm glad you have the boys to do it for you. When do they head back to school?"

  "Tomorrow. They need the weekend to get organized and catch up on some things."

  "You can always come here anytime you feel like you want some company. Ricky works all the time anymore so I'm just here by myself most of the time."

  Eleanor smiled and hugged her friend once more. "Thanks, Mari. I'm so sorry Gary's death is hurting you so much too."

  Marietta squeezed her even tighter. "It's nothing to apologize for. It's life. The more he's missed, the more he was loved, right?"

  "Yes."

  Her mom appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. "Eleanor, you about ready?"

  "I'm coming. Are the boys good to go?"

  "Already in the car." To Marietta, she said, "Thank you for having us, Marietta. Dinner was absolutely delicious."

  "You are always welcome, Helen."

  "I better go. I'll talk to you soon. Thank you again for everything, Mari."

  An hour later, the boys had parked Gary's truck up near the garage and were getting ready to leave for school the next day. Her mother had gone to her room to pack and Eleanor sat on the edge of her bed, looking around her bedroom. So many reminders of Gary still sat everywhere. His favorite sweatshirt hung on a hook on the back of the bedroom door. The closet containing all of his uniforms sat partially open, a pair of boots stuck between the door and the frame.

  When her mother had tried to empty Gary's drawers, she'd lost it on her. But, sitting there now, she kind of understood why. The constant reminders she'd expected to be comforting hurt to look at now.

  One day next week, she'd call Vivian and Marietta and see if they'd help her. She also needed to check in with her principal on Monday and let him know when she'd be returning to work. The second semester started in mid-January. That felt like a good time to go back. She had more than enough sick time to hold her until then.

  Slowly the house quieted. Eleanor changed in to one of Gary's old shirts and climbed into bed, not even bothering to wash her face or brush her teeth. It was not like she had anyone to wake up to anyway.

  Chapter Twelve

  Marietta

  "I'm heading out, babe." Ricky kissed the back of her neck, sending a little shiver down her spine. He probably did it on purpose too, knowing the effect it had on her.

  Marietta turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Please be careful out there. I miss you already."

  "You know I always am." He kissed her again, on the lips this time.

  She sighed. "I know. I just worry. Now more than ever."

  He gave her another hug and then let her go to put on his jacket. "You got any plans this evening?"

  "I'm picking up Eleanor and going to the mall to do a little Christmas shopping. She needs to get a few things for the twins and didn't want to go alone."

  "Be careful. I heard things were kinda crazy there last night."

  She smiled and blew him a kiss. "You know I always am."

  He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "I gotta go now or I'll be late. Text me if you need me. Love you."

  "I love you too," Marietta replied as he closed the door.

  Marietta grabbed her coat, purse, and keys and headed out to her own car. While the car warmed up, she sent a text to Eleanor letting her know she was on her way.

  Fifteen minutes later, she pulled into the Hart driveway and tapped her horn. Eleanor opened the door immediately and stepped outside, hurrying to the car.

  "Thank you so much for going with me," Eleanor said, as soon as she was seated. "The thought of all those people and Christmas music and general holiday cheer—I just wasn't up to it alone."

  "Don't you usually go with Vivian?" Marietta asked as she backed out of the driveway.

  "Yes. Every year we have a girl's day out, but this year, well, nothing is the same. There's a lot going on in her life right now with Antonio. I don't feel right adding to it with my neediness."

  Marietta patted her knee. "You're not needy. You're just adjusting. Like Antonio needs to. He's having a rough time. Ricky talked to him this morning and he said Antonio was all over the place emotionally just in their ten minute conversation."

  Eleanor rubbed her hands together in front of one of the heating vents. "I wish I knew how to help."

  "I don't know if we can do anything. Survivor's guilt is tough."

  Eleanor nodded. "I know. I don't want to think about any of it tonight. I want to try really hard to get through this shopping trip without crying and pretend I have an ounce of Christmas spirit."

  "Sounds good to me. Let me set the mood." Marietta tuned the radio to the twenty-four hour a day Christmas music station. The familiar strains of Jingle Bells filled the car. "There, you can't get more spirited than that."

  The line to enter the mall was backed up to the interstate exit. Apparently, everyone in Virginia Beach had decided to go shopping. They listened to the radio and chatted about cookie recipes while the traffic slowly inched along.

  "Ricky said it had been pretty crazy here last night. I figured a Monday night wouldn't be as hectic as a weekend."

  Eleanor shrugged. "It's ten days until Christmas. People are in panic mode, I suppose."

  "I could use a milkshake." Marietta finally pulled into a parking spot near the food court doors.

  "You know it's like twenty degrees outside, right?" Eleanor asked.

  "Chocolate milkshakes know no bounds." Marietta turned off the car and reached for her door handle. "You ready to do this?"

  "Ready," Eleanor replied, pushing her own door open.

  They hustled through the crowds, fighting the chilly wind and made it into the mall, red faced and giggling. It was the first time Marietta had seen Eleanor completely relaxed since before the night of the shooting.

  "Yo
u still want that milkshake?" Eleanor pointed to the food court.

  "I'll grab one on the way out. I'm too cold now."

  "Ah," said Eleanor. "Chocolate milk shakes do have boundaries."

  "Oh, hush." Marietta swiped at her friend's arm with her gloves. "Where do we start?"

  "Jackson needs jeans and Jameson needs a new hoodie and a couple long sleeved shirts."

  They found a store with great deals on clothes for the twins. Marietta also grabbed a couple long sleeved tees for Ricky. He liked to layer with them in the winter and this winter had already proven to be colder than usual. After hitting the electronics store, the video game store, and a couple other little shops, they made it back to the food court.

  Eleanor held up her shopping bags. "This has been a good night. I am almost done. Thank you again for coming with me." She motioned to the restaurants. "Come on, I'll treat you to that shake."

  "I also wanted to get a chicken sandwich and some waffle fries," Marietta said, with a wink at Eleanor.

  "Fine," Eleanor said. "Chicken and waffle fries, it is."

  They headed to one of the stands and placed their order. As they waited, some raised voices caught their attention. Several hundred feet away a small group of young men and women had gathered. One of the guys was shoving another one and cursing at him.

  "I hope that doesn't go anywhere," Marietta said.

  She spoke too soon. The first boy swung at the second one. They fell to the ground and a second guy ran at another one head butting him in the abdomen. In seconds, the entire group had joined in. Two security officers and two uniformed police officers ran past them shouting. Bystanders grabbed their food and packages and ran the other way.

  "Gun!" someone shouted. "He's got a gun!"

  A shot rang out followed by the sound of shattering glass. The bullet had hit one of the windows that overlooked the parking lot.

  Eleanor dropped her bags to the floor. She was rooted to the spot she stood in, her eyes unfocused.

  "Get down!" Marietta grabbed Eleanor and dragged her to the floor.

  "Here! Come back here!" A restaurant employee waved them over to an open gate.