by Ford, Mia
Once I’ve recovered and my breaths have calmed down just the tiniest bit, Josiah brings that gorgeous tongue back to me once more. This time he plunges it into me, massaging my depths, before he pulls his tongue along the length of my slit, tasting all of me. His movements might be slow and purposeful, but the effect on me is rapid. Every muscle in my body tenses up, I stiffen while he circles around me over and over again.
“Do you like that?” Josiah asks, his words vibrating against my core. His hot breath tickles me too.
“Oh, fuck yes,” I moan. “That feels so fucking good.”
“You want more?” I nod frantically. “I need to hear you say it, Paisley.”
My name is pure seduction when spoken in his voice. I can barely handle it. “I want more!”
Then, he’s relentless. His tongue is all over me in an onslaught, making my body open up like a flower. My thighs spread further, my hips rise off the bed, rolling in to him. I want more. I want all of him.
“Oh fuck, Josiah… Josiah…” I can’t stop saying his name. It’s the only thing anchoring me to the planet right now. I’m floating, God knows where, swimming in the most magical cloud of bliss ever. It creeps through me, starting at the tips of my curled toes and working its way through my veins until I’m hot all over.
“Stop, Josiah,” I plead, although I’m not quite sure how much I mean it. “Stop, I can’t hack it.”
Much to my surprise, unlike anyone I have ever been with before, Josiah refuses to listen to me. He grips on to my butt, fixing me in place while he continues to tip me over the edge. It’s almost as if he’s more concerned with my pleasure than his own which is something of a revelation. As the bliss builds to the point where I cannot hold it in any longer, that thought circles my mind over and over again. Josiah is different. He’s special.
“Oh fuck!” I fall hard and fast into the abyss. The orgasm absolutely consumes me, sweeping me off my feet. Josiah’s arms remain fixed around me and his tongue works its magic while I buck and writhe, the waves of desire rolling over me endlessly. I don’t even know or care how much noise I’m making. As I swim in this incredible feeling nothing else matters. It’s almost as if it’s only me and him left in the world.
“Wow, you look beautiful when you come,” Josiah tells me as he slides back up the bed to kiss me. I can taste myself on his lips which is surprisingly sexy. “I want to make that happen again.”
“Oh, I don’t think that’s possible,” I rasp back. “I’m pretty sure I’m only a one-time girl.”
“Huh… well, that’s because you haven’t ever been with me before.”
I part my lips, ready to argue with him but I clamp them back together just as quickly. He’s right. I haven’t ever been with him before and he’s already proved to me that he is different in every way.
Josiah slides his body behind me and he kisses the back of my neck and over my shoulders. His hand hovers over my core but he doesn’t touch me until the intense post orgasmic throbbing stops and I can handle it. Somehow, without even asking me, he knows my body better than I know it myself.
Yet as his fingers slide into me, I’m instantly back to the fired up place I was only moments before. I thought it would take me a couple of moments, but apparently not. Not with Josiah. I groan in sheer bliss, rolling my butt back against him, silently begging him to slip inside of me. I want to feel that massive bulge now; to see what it will do to me. My body is more than ready to stretch around him…
“Fuck!” He gives me what I want, thrusting into me with no warning whatsoever. My fingers curl around my bed sheets as he slams into me over and over again. “Fuck, you’re right, Josiah.”
He doesn’t need me to explain, he already knows. He has a magical way of making my body do whatever the hell he wants, and right now the bliss is creeping through me all over again. Every thrust seems to hit the right spot which has every cell in my body ready to explode in to space dust. He grabs my hair, then my shoulders, then my hips, almost as if he’s unsure which part of me he wants to touch. Finally, he settles on the bottom of my stomach, the soft caress of his fingers a wonderful contrast to the hardness of his cock.
“Paisley, fucking hell…” he groans. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me right now.”
I feel Josiah shudder and tense behind me, his breaths increase in pace and raggedness. His fingers dig tighter into my skin and I really lean in to him, connecting our bodies in every way possible as we reach our climax together this time. The guttural noises come out of both of us, probably shattering the walls of the house, but it doesn’t matter because this moment is perfect, a dream come true for me, everything I have ever wanted. Ever.
We collapse apart, but next to one another, in our own wonderful bubble of bliss. Every so often I continue to shudder as if I’m still having an orgasm, which might well be possible since he has irrefutably proven that I am more than a one-time girl. That was two in quick succession, and… well, just wow!
“You really are something special, huh?” Josiah laughs. “Totally worth the risk.”
The risk. Those two small words remind me of everything that could go wrong here. Without the hazy lust around us, the idea of getting caught isn’t something that I can be quite so blasé about. It would create chaos if anyone found us in bed together. I don’t even know what would happen to me.
I bolt up in to a sitting position and curl my legs up to my chest. I dart my eyes towards Josiah but for some reason, he doesn’t seem to be having the same endless panic that I am.
“What…” I gulp noisily. “What are we going to do?”
“Do?” Josiah laughs. “We don’t need to do anything. No one will find out, will they? No one ever does.”
I don’t know what it is about that statement, but it makes me think again about all the women that he’s been with in the past. And it seems like I’m not the only one who he has risked things with. He might be telling me that I’m special and saying all the right things, but that doesn’t mean he means them. Maybe they are just lines that he says to everyone to make sure that they have a good time with him.
My skin crawls, I feel dirty and disgusted, like notch on his bed post. I don’t want to be that, I want more. To deserve more. Never in any of my fantasies was I just a one-night stand, it was always the start of something magical, him finally realizing that he’s in love with me. This definitely isn’t that, but I mixed it up. I’m in real danger of making a massive fool of myself here. I cannot have that. This is the start of my new life and it cannot begin this way. I need to put a stop to it before I end up getting really hurt.
“You should probably go,” I say coldly, staring at the wall in front of me. “So, no one finds out.”
“This doesn’t need to end right now.” He trails his finger up my back and I pull myself away. “Adam won’t wake up until the morning, so there is plenty more time for us to go again…”
My nose screws up in disgust. “You think I want to go anywhere near you again?”
“What?” Josiah doesn’t understand my sudden change in mood. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” I don’t know how to finish that sentence because I don’t really know how to vocalize my emotions. “Look, Josiah, that was a mistake. I need you to get out of here. You know what my folks are like.”
“Wait, Paisley,” he continues to try, clearly not understanding the unsaid things now. “Don’t be like this. That was amazing, and I know you thought so as well, so why are you now shutting me out?”
I shrug him off and wrap the covers tighter around me. “Don’t presume to tell me how I feel, Josiah. Just leave. Adam could wake up at any moment, you know that as well as I do, and he will kill us both.”
Josiah doesn’t move for a couple of moments, but when it becomes obvious that I’m not going to back down, he slides out of bed. I try not to watch him put his clothes back on because I’m afraid that I will burst in to tears and the last thing I want is for him to see me crying
over him. I have embarrassed myself enough.
“I will go to Adam’s room then,” he finally says sadly once there is no more procrastination that he can do. He stands awkwardly in my door frame, waiting for something. “I guess I will see you in the morning…”
Urgh, the morning. Christmas Day will be absolutely ruined with him around now that my feelings for him can never be the same again. I should have left him in my head where he was absolutely perfect. But I can’t make him leave or that will arise suspicion, so I’m just going to have to act like everything is okay.
“Yep.” I pop the P with frustration. “I guess I will see you then.”
Once he goes and the door clicks behind him, I cave to the sadness circling through me and I finally let the tears roll, glad that he isn’t around to see them. I guess I still have some way to growing up and not being naïve any longer which sucks. I thought I was stronger now. I turn my head further into the pillow and really let the sobs loose, all the built up heart ache from now and the years that have come before, bursting free.
Worst homecoming ever.
5
Josiah
“Hey, dude, wake up!” Adam yells, much too loudly for someone who is supposed to be hungover. “Guess what? It’s Christmas Day already and Mom has a delicious smelling breakfast cooking.”
I prize my eyes apart, fighting the sleep that threatens to stick my eyes together forever. It took me a long old time to drift off last night, and even when I did I’m not fully convinced that was off for more than a few moments at a time because nightmarish scenes kept filling my mind and waking me up. I just couldn’t settle knowing that I had upset Paisley, especially when I don’t know why. I’m not sure what I did, one moment things were perfect, it was the best night that I had ever had, but it rapidly descended into hell. The only conclusion that I can come up with is guilt. She’s ashamed of the thought of her parents finding out. I guess I will find out for sure later.
“Oh, hey, Adam.” I shield my eyes as he flips the curtains open letting in far too much natural light for my liking. Thank goodness it isn’t a white Christmas. Snow would be unbearable. “You’re in a good mood.”
“Of course, I am! It’s Christmas. I am always in a good mood.” He spins to stare at me. “You look hungover. Did you have a few too many last night? Because that’s a very silly mistake.”
I part my lips about to protest, to mock him for actually being the one who had too much, but I snap my mouth closed again when I realize that’s the easiest option. What else am I going to say? Oh no, I just spent half the night fucking your little sister and the other half worrying about how I upset her? No thanks.
“Yeah, well breakfast sure sounds good.” I force a weak smile on my face. “What is it?”
“Bacon and eggs, and thick toast. Mom makes the most incredible toast, you probably remember. Great for a hangover.” He winks at me as if we’re sharing a secret which only makes me feel worse. I have a secret of my own and it’s one that I will never be able to share with him. “Come on, hurry up.”
I slide out of the bed on the floor and rub my back. Being in Paisley’s bed was so much more comfortable for so many reasons! Adam kneads his neck too, probably suffering from his awkward sleep. Luckily, I didn’t bother to take my clothes off again when I climbed back into bed because I was in such a desolate state, so this morning takes no effort. Maybe a crumpled suit isn’t the best breakfast outfit but needs must.
“You look hot,” Adam teases. “Maybe I’ll lend you something to wear in a bit, but first… food.”
I follow him down the stairs, my pulse racing with anticipation. Usually, I’m nervous about seeing his parents and the judgment that I just know will come from them, but today there is only one face I’m anxious about seeing. I really hope Paisley isn’t as cold to me today as she was last night. I couldn’t stand that.
I breathe out a sigh of relief when we make it into the kitchen to grab a much needed mug of coffee and she isn’t there. Adam’s mom barely even manages to give me a smile but I’m polite to her nonetheless. I have even more reason to want to keep her onside. Especially since I have very strong memories of Paisley pressed up against that wall last night while I touched her all over, really getting acquainted with her body.
With our coffees, we head into the living room where she still isn’t. This time, I sit on the chair because I’m not sure I can stay on the couch without my face giving me away. Watching that movie with her is when I first began to really feel out of control and I knew that no matter what excuses I gave myself, I would still want her.
“Merry Christmas,” Adam’s dad says in a slight gruff tone to us voice. “Where is Paisley?”
I stiffen, I can’t stop myself from sitting up straighter. Now she’s really going to be here.
“I’ll go and grab her,” Adam grins. “She’s probably just got used to sleeping in late.”
“Hmm, well that’s a habit she’ll need to get out of to join the work force.”
I know that isn’t the reason she’s not here, it’s because of me. I can just feel it. That only makes me feel so much worse, but as soon as I get a chance to speak to her alone I will explain. I don’t know exactly what I’m going to say but I’ll find a way to make her feel alright again. I know that her family is important to her and their wacky strict opinions have obviously impacted deeply on her, but we were two consenting adults that had a good time. A really good time. A time that I want to repeat over and over again, and maybe even more.
There’s something about Paisley that makes me feel different. I’m not already done with her, I want to know more. I could even see myself taking her out on dates and stuff, the real relationship things that I usually avoid like the plague. Although, maybe I only feel that way because I know for sure that it can’t happen. I will never be able to take Paisley out because Adam would rip my head from my neck.
“Paisley!” Adam bellows from the top of the stairs. “Get up, will you? You’re ruining Christmas.”
I smile to myself, remembering all the times Adam used to complain about the fights that he and his sister would have at Christmas. He wasn’t being insensitive or anything, but compared to the lonely, empty Christmases that we had at the orphanarium, it sounded like heaven. The staff tried their hardest, of course, but it would never be the same for a bunch of kids who didn’t have families. Some would cry, some would get angry, others would try their hardest to be happy, but we could all see right through it. It was so fake.
An argument with a sister in a family home sounded like a great idea to me.
“She’s coming!” Adam calls as he thunders back down. “But she doesn’t sound happy.”
“She’s going to have to cheer up,” her father complains. “Your mother worked very hard to make this day perfect. She has already had to accommodate for an unexpected guest, she doesn’t need more.”
And there it is yet again, the reminder that I’m not really welcome here, but I can’t get too lost in it because I can hear Paisley coming down the stairs and I seriously need to prepare myself for her arrival. I stiffen again before I roll my shoulders back, so I don’t look like a freak, but immediately I need to move again so that I can attempt to appear nonchalant. Adam shoots me a confused look, but he doesn’t say anything.
Then she arrives. I inhale her familiar citrusy scent before I see her and immediately my heart races faster. I turn my head slowly, trying to prolong the moment, but it isn’t long until my eyes catch hers. My blood freezes over as panic crosses her expression, a redness tinges her cheeks, and she pointedly looks away from me. Yep, she still isn’t best pleased to be around me which sucks. This is going to take some real work.
“I’m, er, just going to get a drink,” she blurts out shyly. “Does anyone want one?”
“Me and Josiah got one, but Dad might,” Adam replies. “Why don’t you sort that out?”
I try to arrange myself in a way that makes me seem less like a crazy person, but I�
�m still totally on edge by the time she returns which just makes it even clearer. I need to find a way to get her alone. That doesn’t happen right away because we all head into the dining room for breakfast and then gifts are exchanged. I probably should feel a bit weird about watching another family share gifts when I don’t have anything due to the last minute invitation, but I don’t really have my own Christmas to compare it too. Plus, I still have my plan at the edge of my mind and I cannot even think about leaving things until I have had a try.
Right now, Paisley won’t even look at me which isn’t the best sign.
“I’m just going to grab another coffee,” she finally says, and this time I know for a fact that I’m going to take this moment to run with it. I have been waiting for an opening and it has taken hours to get one. “Does anyone else want one?” Everyone else murmurs with agreement which only makes it even more perfect.
“I will give you a hand.” I smile brightly. “I need to use the bathroom anyway.”
“Oh no, it’s okay.” She shakes her hands, trying to keep me away from her. But it’ll be fine.
“Oh, come on. You can’t carry all those drinks by yourself.”
She knows that arguing will create too much of a fuss so in the end she reluctantly nods. I have to resist fist pumping the air because I’m so freaking excited to finally get a chance to make things alright again.
Once in the kitchen, Paisley grabs out some mugs as if that’s all we’re going to be doing in here. I grab her wrist to stop her before she makes this exchange far quicker than I want it to be.
“Paisley, about last night…” I start, but she shakes me off.
“It was a mistake, Josiah. I don’t want to talk about it again.”
I brush off her brash tone. “No, it doesn’t have to be. It was amazing, I had the best night ever.”
