What Happens During the Holidays: A Holiday Anthology

by Lucy Gage

  Guess I had my answer.

  Jacob Matthews watched as the taillights of Sam’s SUV faded into the night. His heart was heavy as he rubbed at his chest, hoping to alleviate the growing pain there.

  Sam leaving the way she had was not how he wanted their encounter to end. At all.

  He’d spent so many nights dreaming of what it would be like to see her again. To feel her body against his. To have her sweet lips moving on his.

  He always imagined she would find out that his life hadn’t been the golden dream she thought it had been and that his biggest regret was letting her go, and she’d… what? Drop to her knees and show him how much she missed him?

  Wishful thinking.

  Shit, but he really messed things up with her. Then and now.

  Not that he was about to take all the blame for what happened back then. It wasn’t as if she had been completely innocent in the whole matter. Brooke blamed both Sam and him for her miscarriage right up until her death. He supposed walking in on your boyfriend banging his ex would do that to you.

  God, he was a fuckup and didn’t deserve any woman, especially not Sam.

  Tonight was supposed to end with healing. Forgiveness. And having another damn taste of her sweet mouth. Not her driving away from him.

  “Fuck,” he yelled into the night air and kicked the curb. His foot smarted but he welcomed the pain. Physical pain was a lot better than emotional. And he’d had more than his fair share of emotional turmoil over the last year.

  Stuffing his hands in his pocket, he tucked his head into the collar of his leather coat and made his way across the parking lot towards his Dodge Challenger. As soon as he dropped his car off at home, his first stop was going to be the bar down the block from his condo. After Brooke died, he promised his sister he wouldn’t binge drink again, but the night called for alcohol and lots of it.

  His hand had just pulled on the handle of the car door when Sam’s SUV screeched to a halt behind him. The cop in him was immediately on alert. He turned his body just in time to see her charging toward him.

  “Is everything o—,” was all he had time to get out before her body collided with his, her hands fisting in his hair right before she fused their mouths together in a kiss he thoroughly welcomed.

  “Sam,” he finally managed to get out in between kisses. He needed to rein this in and figure out where her head was at. Not five minutes ago she couldn’t get away from him fast enough and now she was practically climbing his body trying to get closer to him.

  Once upon a time he had told her that he’d take whatever he could get with her. That wasn’t the case any longer. He wanted it all and wasn’t going to settle for anything less.

  “Don’t stop. I need you,” she murmured against his lips right before delving her tongue inside his mouth.

  Her words were like kindling to a flame. A flame that had never really died, but had only smoldered over the last three years.

  “I don’t want to,” he assured her. Gripping her hair, he angled her head so he could take the kiss even deeper. Relishing in the fact that she was here. With him. The rest could be discussed later.

  She ground against him over and over as his hands trailed every part of her body he could reach. His cock was painfully hard and he struggled to keep himself from pulling down those sexy pants of hers and bending her over his car right then and there.

  This could be the beginning of the rest of their lives and the moment deserved more than a quick fuck in the grocery store parking lot.

  He had waited so long for this. He needed to make it perfect.

  That thought is what had him pushing her away. He immediately felt bereft with the loss of her body on his. Gripping her hands as she swayed slightly, he waited for her eyes to open. When they did, hurt and disbelief swam in them as tears filled her eyes. It was like a dagger to his heart.

  “I’m such a fool,” she mumbled as she tried to pull her hands from his.

  Shit, he was messing this up again.

  “No, Sam. Just wait a second.”

  When she finally stopped struggling to be free of his touch, he pulled her closer so that their joined hands were resting on his chest. His heart raced as he spoke the three words that could end up being his downfall. But he knew he had to go big or go home when it came to Sam.

  “I love you.”

  “You love me?” I breathed. Shock, disbelief and happiness welled up inside me.

  “Never stopped. Which is why I don’t want to fuck this up… again.”

  It was a noble thought, but…

  “Jake, I want you to fuck me. I don’t care where that happens. All I know is that I want it to happen like now.”

  His smile was slow to spread across his face, but it was rogue and it was naughty and it was everything I had missed since we parted ways.

  “You want my cock inside you, baby?” His filthy mouth asked me in true, smug, Jacob fashion.

  I tugged him closer by his belt loops, loving how liberated it was to be assertive with him.

  “I want your mouth, hands and cock. In that order. Got it, detective?”

  “Fuck,” he growled before fusing his lips to mine.

  From that point, we were all hands and teeth as we shuffled back against his car. I hit the metal with a thud but didn’t care because being with him right then felt exhilarating and right.

  “Where do you live?” he finally asked.

  My hand was molded around the erection inside his jeans and his hand was cupping my breast. For being a cop, he didn’t seem to be overly concerned with public indecency.

  “Like five minutes from here.” My breaths were little harsh pants of fog coming from my mouth.

  “I’ll follow you.”

  I squeezed his length when he made to pull back from me. I was scared shitless that any time apart from him—even just five minutes—would have me second guessing what we were about to do. It was all too familiar a cadence with us.

  His forehead dropped to mine and he pinched his eyes tightly together as he struggled for control.

  “Okay,” he whispered. “We’ll leave my car here.”

  My heart leapt at the fact that he knew without me saying we needed to stay together. That I needed him to guide me through this. I was taking a huge leap of faith and couldn’t do it alone.

  His locks clicked behind me and before I knew it, he was practically throwing me up into the passenger side of my SUV. He rounded the hood and slammed the door.

  “Where to?” He asked as he put on his seatbelt.

  After giving him my address, he put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking lot. Once we were on our way, he reached over and took my hand. I thought he was going to hold it. Instead he placed it on his erection and held it there. Taking his cue, I began rubbing him through the denim. Each little groan coming from his throat had me feeling bolder and even more turned on.

  By the time we pulled into the driveway of my small Craftsman house, I was practically in his lap. My mouth peppered his jaw and neck with kisses. My teeth nipped at his earlobe.

  Jacob threw the car in park, turned off the ignition and with his hands under my arms, dragged me out the driver-side door. Stopping long enough to throw me over his shoulder caveman style, he sprinted up my walkway toward the front door.

  “It’s the one with the tag on it,” I told him as he fumbled with the key ring. He squeezed my thigh in a silent thank you and less than a minute later we were both inside.

  No sooner did my feet hit the floor than clothes were flying in every which direction. I was down to my bra and thong by the time my back hit the couch and Jacob came down over me. It felt so good to have skin on skin as his chest met mine.

  Our tongues began to tangle while our hands explored. It was as if no time had passed at all. He knew my tells and I knew his. Like how gripping his ass and grinding him into me always made him growl. Or how his breath always stopped the first time
I wrapped my hand around his cock.

  “Is this what you want?” His hand delved under the scrap of lace of my thong and two fingers speared me. My back bowed off the couch and I cried out.

  “Yes!”

  “Tell me, Sam. Tell me how bad you want me.”

  “God, Jacob. I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want you.”

  “No one?” He pulled his fingers from my body, pressing them against my clit. I felt that ball of tension that had been coiling in my stomach loosen a little.

  “Don’t stop,” I begged when he stared down at me, not moving.

  “No one?” He repeated and I knew if I wanted to get this show on the road, I was going to need honesty. I was completely terrified when I took his face in my hands and pulled it to mine so we were mere inches from each other. It was like stepping out on a tight rope and free falling.

  “There has never been another soul on this planet that I’ve wanted or loved more than you.”

  “Shit,” he cursed.

  It wasn’t exactly the reaction I had expected or hoped for. I was about to tell him that when suddenly he was moving.

  His one hand pushed his boxers down his legs so that his long, proud cock sprung free, while his other pushed my thong aside. Then with a quick flick of his hips he was in me and my world was righted for the first time in a really long time.

  “Oh shit,” I cried out. It had been so long since I felt this full.

  “You okay?” He asked, slowing his thrusts.

  “Don’t you dare slow down, Jacob,” I warned him. My hips rose to meet his and he took my cue, picking up his pace.

  “Fuck,” he growled when I opened the front clasp on my bra and pulled the lace aside.

  His head dipped, his mouth sucking on first one and then the other nipple. It sent a ripple through my body, starting at the top of my head and ending between my legs. I knew he felt it because his thrusts became harder and more erratic.

  “Come in me,” I whispered, fully aware that we hadn’t taken the time for protection but not even caring in the least. I needed this. Needed him. All of him.

  “Fuck, Sam. I…”

  “Come in me, Jacob. I want all of you. Forever.”

  The words were his undoing. His hips slammed into mine at the same time his hand snaked between our bodies. Within seconds I was coming. It was like a kaleidoscope of colors behind my eyelids as my world as I knew it shattered.

  With a hoarse shout, Jacob’s body stilled as his orgasm followed mine, pumping his seed into me.

  His head settled into my neck as he struggled to breathe. I could feel the last few jerks of his cock inside me as my orgasm finally subsided. There was something to be said about coming at the same time. It was utterly delicious.

  Being this close to him, so intimately connected, had tears springing in my eyes and leaking down my cheeks. Jacob felt them, his head rising and his eyes searching mine.

  “Please tell me those are good tears,” he whispered.

  I sniffled and nodded, unable to speak but glad some of the concern left his face.

  “Talk to me, Sam.” He pressed his hips into mine, reminding me of our connection. “What we just did. Are you okay with all of it?”

  “No… I mean, yes,” I stuttered. “I just need to collect my thoughts.”

  He started to pull out, so I rushed, “No. I need you with me when I say this.”

  He slid back inside and waited. God, he was always so patient with me. All those times he poured his heart out to me, begging me to choose him—and yet I never did. But the second he grasped on to something more with someone else, I blamed him for everything. I was such a bitch. And I was only just now realizing it.

  “I’m sorry,” I told him and his head jerked with surprise. His dark brows drawing together in confusion.

  “Sorry for what we just did?” He asked.

  “No, sorry for not believing in you three years ago. For being a selfish bitch. Basically for everything.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry for. I knew what I was signing on for.”

  “No, you don’t understand.”

  “Yes, Sam, I do. I knew that I would lose you. I went into it knowing it and still I hoped like hell I could change it.”

  I took his head in my hands and pulled him down for a soft, sweet kiss.

  “Jacob, please hear me when I tell you I wish things had ended differently. I want you to know that I take responsibility for my part in everything that happened. For a long time, I didn’t see how wrong I really was.”

  He nipped my nose with his teeth before sliding out and pulling us so we were on our sides, face to face, before pulling the blanket from the back of the couch over our bodies.

  “So you love me?” He asked a few minutes later. A boyish smirk on his face.

  “I might have been under duress when I admitted that,” I joked.

  “Hmmm… that could be.” He scratched his chin in thought and I giggled. Thoroughly sated and ready to crash, I snuggled into his chest and began dozing. Jacob’s hands drifting up and down the skin of my back.

  “Shit, didn’t you say you have to get Tessa?” His words made me feel a bit guilty for lying. But in my defense, I was in self-preservation mode when I told him that.

  “Would you be mad if I told you she’s actually with her father until tomorrow afternoon?”

  He pinched my ass right before swatting it.

  “Mad? Are you nuts? This means I have uninhibited access to this sexy little body of yours for at least twelve more hours. How could I be mad at that?”

  “I’m really tired,” I weakly protested as his hand ran over my hip, gripping my inner thigh and raising it until it rested on top of his. With easy access, his fingers began seeking and exploring between my legs. A delicious throb set up shop there and instinctively my hips pushed up, seeking more contact.

  “Then I guess you’ll just have to lay there while I do all the work. We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

  I didn’t argue. How could I?

  Jacob Matthews stretched his sore muscles with a groan. Lack of sleep and an uncomfortable position were doing him no favors. Getting old was a bitch.

  His eyes opened and he preceded to take in the room around him. A living room. No, not just any living room—Sam’s living room. It was quaint, just as he had imagined it would be. There was a fluffy cream colored sofa and matching chair, dark wooden tables, and pictures of a beautiful blonde headed little girl on almost every available surface.

  A rock fireplace with a television hanging above it faced the sofa and he made a mental note that she would need a bigger one with it still being football season. Especially since he planned on spending time there. A lot of time actually. The thought made him smile.

  He still couldn’t believe he was in her home. That they had made love three times the night before. Or that she had forgiven him. But most of all he couldn’t believe that there seemed to be a future for them. That they just might be able to have all the things with each other they were always meant to. That maybe, just maybe, they’d had enough shit luck to finally warrant some good.

  Jacob forced himself to sit up with another groan and rubbed his head. Man, he could really use some coffee. Picking up the picture on the table next to the couch, he felt something swelling in his chest. In the photo, Sam placed a kiss to her daughter’s cheek, while the little girl appeared to be laughing into the camera. Tessa’s sweet smile was contagious and after just one look, she already had a piece of his heart. How could she not? She was part Sam after all.

  The sound of pans clanking, along with a hushed curse or two, drew his attention toward the back of the house and made him chuckle under his breath. His Sam… she was never very good at being quiet. Especially when she thought she was being so careful about it.

  Suddenly feeling famished, he stood and went in search of his favorite kind of food. Something that would provide him sust
enance for years to come. Her.

  He rounded the corner into the kitchen and leaned his shoulder against the doorjamb, watching her. Her brown hair was hastily tied up in a knot on the top of her head as she cracked eggs into a bowl. She picked up the whisk, paused for a moment and then stared out the window over the sink with a dreamy expression on her face. He hoped like hell it was him she was thinking about right then.

  With a wistful sigh, she went back to her task, whisking while she hummed under her breath. He forgot she did that whenever she cooked and he rubbed at the dull ache in his chest that accompanied the reminder that they were apart for so long.

  Unaware of his presence, she turned towards the small island and started readying bacon slices on a wire tray. She had a tight tank top on underneath her open robe. He could see the full globes of her breasts and the tight points of her nipples through the thin material. It made his mouth water in anticipation. When she bent over to slide the tray into the oven, he decided he played it cool long enough.

  Padding over to her, he snaked his arms around her middle and pulled her back flush with his chest. Running his lips along her neck, he felt her tremble.

  “Morning,” he murmured before adding his tongue into the equation.

  Sam melted into his arms and he took the opportunity to run his hands under the cloth of her shirt, up past warm skin until he was cupping her breasts. She released a long breath as he began teasing her, loving the way she pushed her ass against him whenever he tugged a nipple. She was so damn responsive; he wasn’t sure he’d be able to pace himself.

  “Jake,” she moaned when his hand delved down her pajama bottoms and found her slick with need.

  “Mmmm… say it again,” he demanded. He would never get enough of her saying his name. He planned on making her do it at every opportunity.

  “Jake,” she easily complied.

  “Turn around, baby,” he whispered against her neck, slowly releasing her.

  Almost as if she was in a fog, she slowly moved until she was facing him. Her chest was heaving slightly and her cheeks were flushed. Fuck, but she was hot as hell when she was turned on.