Crystal Ball

by Laney Kay

  Luke started laughing and apparently, I’d gotten a little loud, because Mark and Harrison had stopped talking and were staring at me like I was crazy. Harrison pulled his shades down his nose so I could see his eyes. “I’m sorry, Daisy, what? Which of us do you think is hot and you would ‘like a piece of’?” He smiled a cocky smile and winked at me. “I mean, let’s face it. It’s probably me, and I’m certainly willing to help, but I need to go ask Mo first.”

  That made me laugh. I leaned forward and grabbed his face in both hands, pulled him down and kissed him a big juicy smack right on his mouth. “Yes, Harrison, you’re exactly what I was talking about, so get your ass inside and check with your wife so we can get busy.”

  He pushed his glasses back up, and, shaking his head, grabbed the tongs from Mark and stood up to check the status of the meat on the grill instead.

  I fell back in my chair, laughing, and Harrison shook his tongs at me. “Woman, you leave me alone,“ he said, laughing. “You are scaring me and making this a hostile eating environment. I’m not some piece of meat.”

  I stood up next to Harrison and shook my finger in his face, just for comic relief, more than anything. Since I’m 4’11” and he’s 6’8”, I come up almost to the middle of his stomach, so the idea of me actually scaring him is ridiculous. He could literally stomp me like a grape if he wasn’t such a huge, sweet man. “Tease. Don’t make me get rough with you, Harrison. I may be the size of a tick next to you, but I’m a scrappy little thing.”

  He pretended to cower in fear and then said with all seriousness, “Daisy, I’ve always been terrified of all of you.” He tilted his head and pretended to think about it, “Well, honestly, I’m mostly scared of Sara, but you run a close second to the scariest. You little ones are unpredictable.”

  All of us nodded in agreement of being most afraid of Sara, especially Mark, but I liked the idea that all of those big guys might think I was scary. That’s kind of fabulous.

  About that time, the door opened and Sara stuck her head out. “How’s the meat looking, boys?”

  Harrison told her that everything was looking good and would probably be ready in a half hour or so. Sara turned around to tell Lola to grab the pitcher and for Mo to grab the dip and the cheese and crackers and come on out. As always, she climbed onto Mark’s lap and got comfortable. “What were y’all all talking about?”

  We all looked at each other and laughed. Then, Lola came out with a huge pitcher of her bourbon punch, but this batch looked like pure bourbon to me. She put it on the table and grabbed a chair and put it next to me and dropped into it. Diego suddenly appeared at her feet, and Lola shooed him away. “Daisy, your damn alcoholic dog is making a move on my punch.”

  He shot her a nasty look over his shoulder and slinked over to me looking pitiful. He whined until I picked him up. “Come here you little drunk.” I kissed him on his head and put him in my lap. I felt him move closer to the pitcher, and put him on the other leg so he was farther away. He sighed when he realized he wasn’t getting any punch, and curled up and went to sleep.

  Mo went up to Harrison and kissed him on the cheek, before sitting in the empty chair next to his. I smiled at both of them, so happy that they had each other. I pointed to Harrison. “Sorry, Mo, but I unintentionally sexually harassed Harrison, and then I apparently offended him by calling him a tease.”

  Mo laughed as she patted his leg. “Daisy, don’t worry, there’s plenty of him to go around.” He nodded in agreement. “You know that all you have to do is make him some of your red velvet cupcakes, and he’d be yours forever.”

  He nodded enthusiastically at the mention of red velvet, and sent a pleading look my way, and I huffed out a breath. “Honey, if that’s all it takes, I’ll make you a whole cake just for you on your birthday.” I shook my finger at him and then winked. “Seriously, you men are so easy.”

  Everyone looked relaxed and happy. I caught Luke smiling at our verbal play and I smiled back. I knew that he was happy that he still fit in so well with the group, and I was glad that everyone was so comfortable with him.

  I felt Lola pinch the side of my leg, and when I turned to her, she winked at me over her drink. I rolled my eyes and tried to ignore her. I know she was commenting on Luke’s smile, but I still think she’s nuts. We’re just friends. Weren’t we?

  When I looked over at Luke, he instantly looked at me and smiled again. I smiled back and sipped my drink. Holy shit, was Lola right? I’m a good Southern girl who kind of automatically flirts with everyone, but had I been deliberately flirting with him? Had he been flirting with me? Now I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t interested in a relationship at the moment, so I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, especially since he is such a nice guy. Crap. Now, what do I do?

  I must have started to look panicked because Lola leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Relax, I’m just giving you shit. He’s a great guy, so just have fun and don’t worry about anything.”

  I let out my breath, which I had apparently been holding and looked at her, relieved. She was right. He is just a friend. No big deal. We’re not dating, or anything, just hanging out with other friends. I need to relax and not make this a big deal.

  Lola winked and leaned forward to grab some cheese. She settled back and took a huge bite and asked, with her mouth full, “So what were y’all talking about?”

  The guys and I looked at each other and smiled and I offered, “Football and baby mamas.”

  Luke said we could let Sara handle Bobby and the skank, but I said it would be like a Texas cage wrestling match. Two would go in and only one would come out, and I assure you, the one would be Sara. Hell, even Harrison wouldn’t take on Sara, and he’s a full two feet taller and a hundred and fifty pounds heavier than she is.

  Harrison swears that his first time meeting Sara was scarier than the first SEC game he played in. He was the starting center for the football team, and at that time weighed about 350 pounds while she weighed maybe 85 pounds. Freshman year, they had a health class together, and the class was discussing self- defense and, purely for entertainment purposes, I’m sure, the professor chose Sara and Harrison to demonstrate self-defense moves. First, he told Harrison to bend over and grab Sara from behind so she couldn’t get away. Once Harrison had a good grip, the professor patronizingly asked Sara what she would do to get away. She hesitated, saying that she didn’t want to hurt him, and after the entire class stopped laughing, Harrison told her to give it her best shot. Next thing he knew, Sara had grabbed his crotch in a vise-like grip in one hand and a handful of his hair in the other and was showing everyone how she could head butt him backwards in the face while she ripped his testicles off and then snatch him bald-headed if she wanted to. Harrison gently asked her to let go, which she did, and he slowly released her and backed away with both hands raised up by his shoulders and an appalled look on his face.

  After class, she apologized if she had embarrassed him and offered to make it up to him by introducing him to her roommate, Mo. I don’t know if Harrison had any desire to meet Mo, but he was probably too afraid of Sara to say no, so he agreed to come by the dorm that afternoon before practice. Sara tracked down Mo at volleyball practice and told her that she had found Mo’s future husband and for her to come home immediately after practice. She told Mo that not only was he the biggest, sweetest man ever, but he was very cute and she had grabbed a big handful of his crotch and that from the feel of it, he was built right everywhere. That night, Harrison took one look at Mo and it was love at first sight for both of them.

  For Sara’s birthday two years ago, Harrison bought Sara a documentary DVD about the honey badger. He said that those little 20 pound badgers would eat cobras, kick the shit out of a lion in a fight over food, and basically just do whatever the hell they wanted without any fear for their own safety. You know, just like Sara. Apparently, he thought the honey badger was Sara’s spirit animal. Sara didn’t find that offensive, at all. In fact, she loved it. Mo’s part of the pre
sent was a huge t-shirt with a picture she’d drawn of a honey badger getting the crap kicked out of it by Sara, and, that’s usually the shirt she wears by the pool.

  Tonight she was in a regular tank, and I wanted Luke to see her shirt. “Hey, Sara, where’s your honey badger shirt?”

  “It’s in the dryer. I made sure it was clean because Hannah’s friends think it’s hilarious.” She turned to Mark. “Did the kids say they’d be here soon when you texted them?”

  Mark nodded and told Sara to hop up so he could check the meat, which he pronounced ready to go. We heard a commotion from inside the house and suddenly a hoard of laughing teenagers, including Hannah, came into the backyard, waving hello as they passed us on the way to the pool.

  Lola looked at us with big eyes and pointed out how amazing it was that when the food was ready, the kids showed up. “If you cook it, they will come….” Sara laughed and as she went inside to change, she asked Harrison to grab the burgers and hot dogs out of the fridge and throw them on the grill.

  Mark took the butt and the ribs out of the smoker and took them inside to pull the pork and chop up the ribs. Harrison came out with the hamburgers and hot dogs and put the meat on the fire, while the rest of us went inside to start bringing the sides and the fixings out to the tables. Within 15 minutes, the kids were wrapped in towels and we were all standing around the table fixing our plates. The kids took their plates to the pool, and we all sat down at the big table on the screened porch. Lola grabbed her punch and everyone else got their drinks, and we all settled in to eat.

  I’m not sure how, but I ended up sitting between Luke and Lola again, which Lola acknowledged to me with a knowing smirk. I rolled my eyes and pinched her leg under the table.

  Fortunately, the rest of the day was fun and totally uneventful, although Diego did manage to find at least two full, unattended beers, so again, I found him passed out by the pool on a lawn chair at the end of the night. Luke helped me out by carrying him up to my car while I walked my other boys up on their leashes. Diego’s a little dog, but when he’s wasted, his long little body is dead weight and hard to carry. Luke asked me if I needed to get him into doggie rehab and I laughed, but did tell him that I was concerned enough that I asked my vet about it a few years ago. He said to try to keep him away from alcohol, but the truth is that if we all get together, Diego’s gonna get his drink on somehow. It doesn’t happen that often, and he seems to be fine once he wakes up, so I’ve stopped worrying about it. Especially after Lola reminded me that Harrison’s college dog ate only pizza, beer, and whatever he could steal off an unattended plate or a grill, and that dog lived to be 18 years old, so I’m sure he’ll be fine.

  Once I got everyone in and buckled their doggie seatbelts, which attached to their regular harnesses, I hopped into my little car. “Thanks for your help, Luke.” I buckled my seatbelt. “When he’s passed out, it’s hard to handle him with the other two.”

  He laughed. “No problem.” He put his hands on my door and leaned toward me. “Hey, want to meet me for breakfast tomorrow? I was thinking we could meet up at Folk Art and then you could show me your house.”

  Now that I was a little paranoid about whether he thought I was coming on to him or not, I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea, so I hesitated. Of course, he noticed the hesitation. “Look, I had a great time today and I have a few questions about the area. I’m renting an apartment behind a house in the Highlands and my lease is up after the first of the year. I don’t know whether I should sign another lease, or start looking to buy something. I figured you’ve already been through all this and I’d like your opinion on the various options.”

  He looked so hopeful, I smiled at him and told him I’d be happy to meet him in the morning. I told him I could be there at 8:30 and we’d leave from there to go to my house. He smiled and turned back down the driveway to Sara’s house, waving over his shoulder. I waved back and turned my little car towards home.

  8

  The next morning, I was up at six, as usual. I walked the dogs and then hopped on my bike for some quick exercise. By the time I got back it was seven and it was already hot. The weather folks had said that it was supposed to be ninety-five this afternoon and the humidity was going to be out of control. Great. That meant that by noon, my hair was going to be a curly, sweaty ball of ringlets around my ears. Nice. I decided that after my shower I would just braid it into two stubby little pigtails and call it a day, because they don’t make enough product to control my kind of hair with that much humidity.

  I ran inside, fed the dogs, took a cool shower, put on my underwear, and stretched out on my bed under the ceiling fan until I finally cooled off, which took forever. At eight-fifteen, I got up, put on some powder and another layer of deodorant, and got dressed in a pair of old shorts and t-shirt, stomped into a pair of flip flops, ran out the door and hopped in my convertible. My plan was to make a grocery run after breakfast and I hate to tote stuff, so I always drive when I run errands. I made it to the restaurant with about five minutes to spare and when I went in, I saw him already seated at a table drinking coffee. His face lit up with a big smile when he saw me, and I was grinning in return. I walked to the booth and slid in the seat across from him.

  He put down his coffee and signaled to the waitress to come over to get my drink order. He then smiled at me. “So what have you been up to this morning?”

  “You know, the usual. Walking dogs, riding my bike and trying to stop sweating,” and he laughed. The waitress came over and I ordered a coffee with a lot of milk and some scrambled eggs with wheat toast.

  He smiled at the waitress and ordered the same breakfast. When she left to get our order, he picked up his coffee and grinned as he saluted me with it. “Well, you look like you’re doing pretty good after Bobby’s little show and tell yesterday.”

  “Right? Honestly, I didn’t even think of that pain in my ass one time until you just mentioned him.” I smiled at the waitress and thanked her as she handed me a huge mug of coffee and a carafe of milk. “The only thing I was thinking about this morning was trying to cool off. It’s already about a thousand degrees.”

  “Is that the reason for the cute little pigtails?” He grinned as he reached out and tweaked one. “I had it bad for Ellie May Clampett when I was a kid. Lots of blonde hair and pigtails. That’s totally hot.”

  I laughed. “Whatever blows your skirt up, little boy. This is purely functional, unless you want to see my hair in tiny, sweaty ringlets.”

  He shrugged and winked. “I like it. Whatever the reason, you look cute.” He paused to thank the waitress for a refill.

  I was about to make a smart ass comment, then I realized, with only a little panic, he was serious, so I just thanked him and sipped my coffee.

  “So, I wanted to get your opinion. Right now I’m renting a little guest house behind a house off of St Charles, and I’m trying to figure out what to do. My lease isn’t up for months, not till after the first of the year, but I’m not sure whether I’m going to buy something I can fix up or just renew it and rent for a while. How’s the market around here? This still seems to be like the happening part of town.”

  I nodded in agreement. “It is. The market is still hot and anything that’s a decent deal gets snapped up before the average guy would have a chance to get it.”

  I told him about my ridiculous deal and I could tell he was impressed at the amount she’d paid for the house. “Lola is a great one to talk to because bankers are always calling her about deals before they’re actually put on the open market.”

  He nodded. “I love those kind of deals. I used to know people like that in New Orleans, but I don’t really have any of those kind of contacts here.”

  “That’s not true. You have Lola, and that’s all you need. Just talk to her and tell you what you want and she’ll keep an ear out for you. You want a finished house, or a fixer upper?”

  “A fixer upper. Even though I’m not currently in the building business, I lov
e that kind of work, and a project like that would be a lot of fun.”

  Our breakfasts arrived, and as we buttered, jellied, and hot-sauced our breakfasts, I asked him how he’d originally gotten into the building business.

  In between bites, he told me. “My dad and my uncle owned a construction business together, and I worked there from the time I was big enough to hold a hammer. Every summer, every holiday, most days after school, if I wasn’t playing baseball or football, I was on a construction site. By the time I was a junior in high school, I’d about decided I wasn’t going to college, I was just going to get my contractor’s license and start my own business. My mom was furious and, I later found out, she told my dad he’d better make sure I get a degree. My dad convinced me that a business degree would help me deal with banks and handle money, so that’s how I ended up at Georgia.”

  I was curious. “Was it helpful?”

  “It was.” He nodded. “I think the combination of real world experience and the degree definitely helped me expand more quickly and it gave me credibility with the banks.”

  “That makes sense.” I took a sip of my coffee. “What about your uncle? You never said what he thought about you going to college.”

  He smiled at the memory. “He told me that I should definitely go because I already knew everything you could learn on a jobsite. I could build things, I could drink, and I could kick the shit out of just about anyone in a fight. Now it was time to learn the business.”