Crystal Ball

by Laney Kay

  When I told Lola about it, she said that he acted like an ass in that situation because we haven’t had sex yet, so he hasn’t marked me as his territory. She said I should be happy because that was a better option than him peeing on me, which is how non-humans take care of that problem. Ha! I guess that’s true, if those are my only two options.

  Our second big fight had to do with work. He had stopped by my house to bring me a biscuit on his way to work and I mentioned that I was recording a segment on this amazing woman named Ms. Edna, an elderly female nurse practitioner who had spent years vaccinating children in India and now ran a health ministry for drug users in north Georgia.

  I was excited about finally being able to wear my jeans and a black t-shirt for a story, but all Luke heard was that I was going to the Sandlewood Mobile Home Park in Gainesville and he got upset. Last month, there had been a huge drug bust there, and it turns out that Mexican cartels were funneling methamphetamine into this trailer park for distribution throughout the South by various biker gangs and skinheads. Arrests had been made, but since the bust, there had been multiple shootings in the area and several people had been killed. Luke thought it was, quote, “idiotic to send a tiny little woman traipsing around the worst trailer park in north Georgia with an old woman as your only protection,” but I reminded him that I wasn’t going by myself. Mandy, my third cousin and producer, would be there and most importantly, so would Billy Ray, my camera guy. Billy Ray is a huge, muscled, ex-professional football player with a shaved head, a bushy, mountain man beard, full sleeves of tattoos on both arms, and piercing blue eyes. He’s about the sweetest man ever, but he looks terrifying when he tries. I could tell Luke still wasn’t thrilled about the idea, but I reminded him that he had to teach a class and it was too late to cancel, so he couldn’t come with me. He grabbed my arms and kissed me, hard, shook his finger in my face and told me to be careful and left, muttering under his breath. I was pretty sure I was glad I couldn’t hear what he was saying because I’m thinking it wasn’t very complimentary about either my intelligence or my abilities in the art of self-defense.

  It wasn’t much better when I went to the station. Mandy was out sick with the flu, so Billy Ray had to wire me up, and when he first heard where we were going, he simply refused to take me. Period. He looked me in the eye and told me, “no offense, but I grew up in a place like that and it’s a dumbass idea to bring a tiny little unarmed woman into that neighborhood with everything going on,” and he wasn’t going to be responsible for that.

  Mentally, I was thinking, “Lawd, save me from overprotective men,” but I looked at him and smiled, touched his arm, and in a sugary voice, said, “Billy Ray, I’m not worried at all. I know you’ll protect me.” I smiled and stood up, ready to go. “Now come one, we need to get going or we’re going to be late.”

  Billy Ray didn’t fall for it. He crossed his arms, perched on the corner of his desk and laid down the law. “Daisy, you can sweet talk me all you want, but there’s no way in hell I’m going there, and I’m sure as shit not taking you.”

  I clenched my fists so I could stop myself from smacking him in frustration. Shit. About that time, I heard a pissed off voice behind me. “If you’re insisting on doing this damn thing, let’s get going.” I spun around and Luke was leaning against the door with his arms crossed, looking unbelievably irritated.

  I gritted my teeth. “Seriously? Why in the hell are you here? Don’t you have a damn job?”

  Billy Ray looked relieved to see Luke. He and Luke had met several times before, and I’m sure he was convinced that Luke would put his foot down and insist that I couldn’t go. Ha! As if any of those overgrown buttheads could tell me what I could, and couldn’t, do. I imitated his pose, crossing my arms over my chest and glared back at him. “Seriously, why are you here? Why aren’t you teaching your class?”

  He pushed himself upright and stomped over to me. “When I left your house, I found out that class was already cancelled because of a water main break.” He stopped in front of me and leaned so that he was looming over me and we were almost nose to nose. “I knew you’d do this come hell or high water, so I came over to give Billy Ray some backup.”

  I stared back at him and I could tell it was annoying him that he didn’t intimidate me. As if. I knew he’d cut off his own arm before he’d hurt me, so he doesn’t scare me one bit. I rolled my eyes dramatically and pretended to misunderstand. “Please. Billy Ray can take care of himself.”

  Luke looked like steam was going to come out of his ears. He spit out through his clenched teeth, “Of course Billy Ray can take care of himself. But he can’t take care of himself and you and Mandy while he’s working.”

  “Mandy’s sick and she can’t go.”

  “Whatever. The point is that Billy Ray can’t run the camera and look after you, so this way, he can do his job, and I’ll look after you both. Problem solved.”

  I stared at him. He stared at me. Billy Ray looked at both of us, obviously uncomfortable, said he’d meet us at the van, picked up his camera, and pretty much ran out the door. What a wussy. We stood there, neither of us backing down. Finally, I broke eye contact to look at my watch. “Shit. If I don’t go now I’m going to be late.” I sighed. “Come on then, you can go. But don’t think this means that you can tell me what I can and can’t do.”

  He started laughing, saying mockingly, “No shit, Daisy. Let me guess…’You’re not the boss of me!’”

  I turned and started for the door with him right behind me. “You’re not.”

  He caught my arm and spun me around so I faced him. He grabbed my shoulders and stared unblinkingly in my eyes. “I have no desire to be the boss of you. Daisy, local cops won’t go to this trailer park nowadays because it’s unsafe, and they’re armed and trained for combat. You’re not.”

  I interrupted. “Actually, I’m an excellent shot. I was raised by a cop, after all.”

  He took a deep breath. “I have no doubt. But you’re not armed now, and I’m not letting you waltz into an unsafe situation by yourself just because you’re trying to prove a point. If you insist on doing this, I’m going with you to make sure you’re safe. Get over it.”

  I suddenly realized that his attitude was because of fear for my safety, not because he was trying to tell me what I could, or couldn’t do. I still thought it was unnecessary, but his heart was in the right place. I grabbed the back of his head and pulled it down and kissed him, and then backed up a step, smiled at him, and patted his cheek. “Awww, you are so sweet.”

  He stared at me, confused, but looking less irritated. I smiled at him and told him we needed to go. He let go of me and I grabbed his hand and towed him toward the garage. By the time we got to the van, Billy Ray was already loaded up and sitting behind the wheel, so Luke got in the back and I grabbed shotgun next to Billy Ray. As soon as we hit the road, Billy Ray looked at Luke in the rear view mirror. “No luck, huh?”

  Luke snorted. “Obviously not. Apparently, in case you didn’t know, I’m not the boss of her.”

  Billy Ray laughed and shook his head, and they kept talking, both completely ignoring me. “You know, I‘m the youngest of four brothers, and all of us played college ball, and two of us went on to play pro ball. In fact, I was the smallest of all of them.” My eyes about bugged out of my head when I heard that, because Billy Ray is at least 6’5”, and still weighs 260, easy, but I didn’t say anything because I wanted to hear this story.

  I’ve known Billy Ray for years because he played high school football with my brothers, but he’s one of those people who rarely talks about his early childhood, so I’ve had to kind of put together his story over the years. I knew that he grew up dirt poor until he was sixteen and his dad inherited a bunch of money and used it to start what eventually became a very successful electrical supply business. I know he played college and pro ball, and I’ve met his wife, but I never met his parents or the rest of his family.

  “My dad was just as big, and my mom
is about Daisy’s size. Let me tell you what, when we were growing up, all of us, including my dad, always did exactly what she said. Hell, I still do whatever she says. She was never mean, she never yelled, but she ruled that house. Looks to me like you’re having the same problem.”

  Luke laughed and shared a commiserating look with Billy Ray. “Welcome to my world.”

  What? Why is that a problem? I’m not trying to tell Luke what to do, I’m just saying he can’t tell me what to do, either. Then I thought of something and I turned to Billy Ray. “Billy Ray Perkins, you’re married and I’ve met your wife and she’s not much bigger than I am. Who rules your house now?”

  He snorted. “Who do you think? It sure as hell isn’t me. And it’s not my two boys. My wife is just like you. I’ve always told her that she’s 5’2”, but she plays 6’10, and I’m telling you now, when she says jump, everyone in my house ask, ‘How high?!’” As the GPS lady told him to turn right, he steered the van down a narrow gravel road, and checked the doors to make sure we were locked in tight.

  Luke hadn’t known the details about Billy Ray’s football career. “Where’d you play?”

  Billy Ray checked the rear view mirror and nervously rechecked the locks. “I played at Florida. Tight end.” I made a gagging noise, which made Billy Ray laugh because we discuss our opposing college football allegiances all the time. He ignored me and continued. “I played in the pros for a couple of years. I was drafted by Denver in the second round and played there a couple of years, was traded to Miami, and then blew my knee out in the first game as a Dolphin and had to retire.” He shook his head at the memory. “In a few years, I’ll probably have to replace it, but it’s all good.”

  I was curious about his brothers. “What are your brothers doing now?”

  “My brother was a backup quarterback for seven years and he only played in four games the entire time. When he retired he was much better shape than I was. No blown knees, no bad hits so no worry about future CTE issues. He was careful with his money and is now a high school football coach in Texas, which he loves. My other brothers had gone to work with my dad right out of college, and together they had expanded the business across the entire southeast.

  I sarcastically told Billy Ray, “What a shame y’all are such underachievers.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, well we all knew football wouldn’t last forever. Thanks to my dad, I was smart with my money and my wife and I lived like we were still college students the whole time I was in the pros, so we’re good. Now, we can do what we want, and I found that I love being a cameraman and photographer.” He turned and looked at me. “Well, I love it most of the time.”

  He and Luke laughed and while he wasn’t looking I stuck my tongue out behind his head. When Billy Ray looked at me again, I smiled sweetly at him and patted his arm. “What could possibly go wrong with two such big, handsome men watching over me?”

  Luke snorted at my sarcasm, and he and Billy Ray looked at each other, and Billy Ray shook his head. “Famous last words, Daisy.” He made another turn and looked at me very seriously. “We’re almost there, so promise me we’re going to get in and out as soon as we can. You can invite Ms. Edna to the studio to do the actual interview once we get the footage with some of her clients.”

  I promised him I would do my best. Honestly, we were in a part of Georgia I had never been to, and I couldn’t believe how run down everything looked. I’m not the bravest person ever, and I wasn’t crazy about filming in an area when Mexican cartels and redneck skinheads were at war, but I think it’s important for people to see the reality of the amazing work Ms. Edna does.

  When we got there, we could barely see Ms. Edna in the crowd. She was surrounded by people who were waiting in line, some were standing around eating sandwiches and drinking juice, and a few were over to the side getting information about various drug treatment options. When Ms. Edna saw me, she waved me over excitedly, knowing that any publicity helps get donations for her program. I hopped out of the car and hurried over while Luke helped Billy Ray unpack his equipment. Since he’d already wired me up at the station, all he had to do was hook up my microphone, do a quick sound check and we were ready to start recording.

  Ms. Edna was incredible. She was even smaller than I am, her head was shaved almost to the skin, she weighed maybe eighty pounds, her skin was a dark caramel brown, and she had beautiful, kind eyes in a face that was almost unlined, despite her being almost ninety years old. She was tiny, but regal, and her voice was booming and very authoritative. Ms. Edna told me where to stand, told Billy Ray to get in close to us so he wouldn’t miss anything, told Luke to back up so he wouldn’t interfere with the camera, and she started talking. She explained that her ministry provides condoms, Narcan kits to reverse narcotic overdoses, food, and new syringes for IV drug users. For those who were ready to make changes, she helps them get into treatment. She also provides basic medical care for those who have developed infections, HIV, or other physical issues related to their addiction.

  After Ms. Edna finished explaining her program and Billy Ray got some great footage of her in action, I started talking to some of the people Ms. Edna was helping. Although they had started to scatter when Billy Ray first took out his camera, Ms. Edna told them to come back and talk to us, so they did. They explained that the gangs pretty much stayed away from wherever Ms. Edna was working, especially in the daytime, like now, but you could still tell everyone was on edge because of the recent shootings. Well, not Ms. Edna, who was cool as a cucumber, but everyone else. Luke stayed behind Billy Ray and kept an eye out, and after about an hour, we thanked Ms. Edna and I told her I would call her to find a time she could come to the studio for an interview. She hugged all of us and told us we’d see her soon.

  When we got back into the van, Billy Ray didn’t waste any time locking the doors and getting us out of there. Once we were safely on the road, I turned to look at them. “Well? Isn’t she an amazing woman?”

  They looked at each other and nodded. Luke ruffled my hair and smiled at me in the mirror. “She’s impressive and what she’s managed to do with so little funding is unbelievable. If you’ll give me her information I’d like to make a donation to her foundation, and I’m sure Lola would agree.”

  Billy Ray nodded. “I’m in.”

  I smiled to myself. Typical guys. They’re all big, bad talkers, but when it comes down to it, they are really just plain overgrown sweethearts. When I told them that, they both looked fairly appalled and started to protest, but I just ignored them. Whatever.

  When we got back to the station and started unloading the van, I grabbed both of their hands to stop them for a moment. “Thanks, both of y’all, for coming with me today. I really appreciated that y’all were so concerned with my safety but were willing to come over anyway.” Luke stood by as I hugged Billy Ray. “Billy Ray, you and your wife pick a time to come over and we’ll have a big steak dinner.”

  Billy Ray hugged me right off my feet. “You got it, girl.” He put me down and picked up some of his equipment to haul inside. “I’ll download the footage and send it over to you later today so you can start working on it.”

  “That would be great.” I pulled him down so I could kiss his cheek. “Tell your wife I’ll call her later in the week. Thanks again.” He waved as he picked up the rest of his equipment and headed inside.

  So now it was just us. Luke turned to face me, crossed his arms over his chest, and looked at me with one eyebrow raised. “Well?”

  He looked ready for a fight. I guess he thought I was going to bitch at him some more, but I wasn’t mad at all. I still thought they were being ridiculous, but having grown up with a cop dad and two older brothers, I knew that big, overprotective men aren’t going to change, so I let it go. I smiled at him and said we should go sit somewhere outside and I offered to buy him a burger at Joe’s for being such a great bodyguard. Now he looked confused, but he just grabbed my hand, said, “Ookay. Let’s go,” and we went out to his J
eep. As usual, he had to help me in, because, even with the step bars, it’s so jacked up I’d need a running start and a trampoline to get in by myself.

  As we drove to the restaurant, I could feel him glancing over at me like he was waiting for me to say something. Every time I’d catch his eye I’d just smile and I finally reached over to grab his hand and just sat back, enjoying the nice weather. When we got to the restaurant, we got a table outside and both of us ordered a loaded burger with fries and a beer. Our server brought our beers and Luke took a big swig and put it on the table and looked at me.

  “So?”

  I grinned. “So, what?”

  He looked at me with narrowed eyes. “So, let’s get it over with. I know you weren’t too happy with me insisting on coming along with you today, so let me have it.”

  I shrugged. “No need.”

  Luke looked at me like I was a bomb about to explode in his face. I finally felt sorry for him and figured I’d explain so he could relax. I reached over and took his hand in mine. “Luke, why did you insist on coming with me today? All kidding aside, we’ve been hanging out for months and you’re not the type of guy who usually gets all Neanderthal about stuff. I’ve never thought of you as someone who felt like he ‘had to be the boss of me’. Was I wrong?”

  Luke was taken aback at the idea. “Daisy, trust me, I have no desire to be the boss of you. I love the fact that you’re smart, and independent, and a free-thinker. The only reason I insisted on coming with you today is because you were going to a poor, extremely dangerous neighborhood that is having daily shootings because of a drug war. Despite your huge attitude, which I love, by the way, you’re physically a tiny little woman who wouldn’t be a match for a pissed off, drugged out, man trying to hurt you. I know Billy Ray looks out for you, but the truth is, he can’t watch over you and do his job at the same time. I didn’t think it was a good situation, so I came to make sure you were safe.”