Radley's Home for Horny Monsters

by Annabelle Hawthorne

  She didn’t move. Tossing his trowel aside, Mike vaulted the lip of the fountain. “Abella, the fountain is...”

  Abella was wrapped in the vines of the Mandragora, perfectly still. Mike grabbed the vines and tore at them. “Oh shit, Abella!” It only took him a minute to clear the vines away. He pressed his face to hers, hoping that she would feel his warmth. “Abella, please, wake up!”

  She remained motionless, stuck in statue form.

  Mike ran back through the house, shoved open the front door and collided with someone who had been standing on the porch. Papers flew everywhere, and Mike spun wildly, tripped, and tumbled over the railing into the bushes below.

  “Ow, fuck!” Mike crawled free of the bushes to find that Beth was busy picking up the papers. She was on her hands and knees, her white skirt hiked up over her ass, revealing a bright red pair of panties that matched her top. Mike scrambled up the stairs and grabbed a handful of her papers. “I am so sorry!”

  “Don’t worry about it Mr. Ra-Mike.” Beth blushed and accepted the papers.

  Mike knelt to grab another one, struggling to focus on the words. They seemed to swim in front of his eyes, but Beth snatched it away from him before he could get a better look at it. Her bun had come undone, and a large strand of hair hung free down the back of her neck. “I thought I would drop by and bring you some paperwork, but I’m afraid it’s gotten all out of sorts.”

  “Oh, yes, right. Come in.” Mike helped her to her feet, staring at the way her breasts strained the buttons of her blouse while she stood. He’d started to follow Beth inside when he saw that the porch swing was unhooked. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen,” he told her, then picked up the swing and reattached it.

  “Cecilia, where are you?” he asked, giving the swing a gentle push. He was answered only by the harsh metallic screech of metal on metal.

  Beth stood in the kitchen, leaning against the table. Something about her stance immediately unnerved him-it was too familiar. Did she remember what had happened yesterday? “I didn’t think you were coming back until Friday,” he said.

  “I don’t think we scheduled anything that far out,” Beth told him. “I’m just bringing by the paperwork I mentioned yesterday, as well as an offer from the Historical Preservation Society. These very nice ladies call me on almost a daily basis to see if you will sell.”

  Mike stared at her. “You mean the offer I turned down earlier this week?”

  “Mike, are you feeling okay?” Beth moved closer to him, lines of concern crossing her face. “You told me last night that you weren’t certain if you were going to keep the place.”

  “Last night?” Mike felt the world spin around him. “Like, you remember being here yesterday?”

  “Of course I do. I showed you around, you really liked that big tub. I said I would check in on you.” Beth put her hand against his forehead. “You don’t feel like you have a fever.”

  “Yeah, well I suddenly feel very unwell.” Mike sat down at the table. He felt like he was standing at one end of a very long tunnel, watching reality turn around him.

  “Here, let me get you some water.” Beth walked around the counter and he heard the faucet turn on. She swore, and the click of her heels announced her return a few moments later. “I had an accident,” she said, gesturing at the large wet spot on her blouse. The red fabric of her blouse was suddenly transparent, revealing the dark black bra underneath. “I’m such a klutz.” She pinched the top of her blouse with one hand and shook it. Two buttons came undone, revealing the upper curve of her breasts.

  His cock twitched slightly, but he was too upset to care. “Thank you,” he said, taking the glass from her hands. She gave him an odd look, then grabbed the papers on the table.

  “So, I guess I’ll go back to the office then,” she told him. “Do you need me to take you to the doctor or anything? I can bring you some food later, or we could meet for dinner?”

  “No, I’m fine.” The words were easy to say, but Mike was anything but.

  Beth frowned as he walked her to the door. When he opened it, she leaned against the frame, her body suddenly close. “Seriously. Can I do anything for you?” She winked.

  “I’m good.” He needed to figure out what had gone wrong.

  Beth pouted and stepped onto the porch. Mike didn’t bother following her-he shut the door in her face.

  THE HOURS TICKED BY. Mike spent the first hour in the back trying to get Abella to snap out of her slumber, and decided that whatever had happened wasn’t going to suddenly undo itself.

  In the garage, Tink’s nest underneath was empty except for a couple of boxes of newspaper that had become so wet, Mike couldn’t read what was written on them.

  Back in the house, he tried to find the secret cave in the blue room, but was unable to figure out how to open it. A hammer to the drywall revealed nothing behind it but insulation and dead bugs.

  Mike masturbated twice in the tub, unable to come or summon Naia. He tried it in the fountain, frantically jerking himself as he wandered in large circles, calling the nymph’s name. He even checked the greenhouse, but the door was locked, and he couldn’t find a rock heavy enough to shatter out the glass. It seemed like every time he found one that would work, it was suddenly too small.

  Mike went into the basement and found the piece of chalk underneath the freezer. He drew the door on the wall, then knocked three times, then twice more. When nothing happened, he did it again. Convinced that he had screwed up the door, he redrew it over and over again, his knuckles becoming raw from the now frantic pounding on the concrete. The piece of chalk quickly became a tiny nub which he slammed against the floor, breaking it into several pieces.

  “What the fuck?!?” Mike slammed into the freezer, tilting the whole thing over in anger. He gave it a kick, sending a jolt of pain through his foot. “Ow, fuck!” As he limped back up the stairs, the doorbell rang.

  Stumbling through the darkened home, he flipped on the lights as he neared the front door. Opening it, he saw that Dana stood there in just a white tank top and jeans.

  “Oh. I didn’t order anything,” he said, closing the door.

  “Oh, yeah, I know!” Dana stuck her arm in the door. “I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

  “The odd jobs and such? I’m kind of in the middle of something right now.”

  “Wow, yeah, you seem super distracted. I’ll make it quick.” Dana fished in her pocket, holding up a hundred-dollar bill. “So, last night, when I brought you your food, you gave me this.”

  “I...I did?” He remembered tipping her, but not that much.

  “Yeah. You told me to keep the change, you were very sweet about it.” Dana moved closer to him. “Well, you see, I got to thinking. Maybe it was an accident, maybe you thought it was a different kind of bill.”

  “Um...” Her proximity was making him uncomfortable. He thought he had given her a twenty, but couldn’t be bothered with this now. “No, that’s fine. I gave you what I meant to give you.”

  “I thought so.” Dana pushed her way in and placed a hand on Mike’s chest. She licked her lips hungrily. “You see, I have a confession to make. I like men who have money.”

  “No, wait, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Mike protested, backing up. He eventually ran into the clock by the stairs, causing it to chime. Dana smirked at him, rubbing her left breast. “You know, big inheritance, new in town, just paying my good luck forward... oh shit!” Dana had yanked down her tank top, exposing two of the most perfect breasts he had ever seen.

  “When I say I like men who have money, I don’t mean it like I’m a gold digger,” she told him. “What I meant to say was, it made me hot. Super hot. I can’t stop thinking about it.” Kneeling at his feet, she prevented him from squirming away while she fumbled with his pants. Despite his protests, she pulled his cock free. “Oh, wow, I can’t wait to get this in me!” she declared, and licked the tip of it.

  “No, you don’t understand, I need to-“ Mik
e’s mind went blank as Dana took his semi-hard cock in her mouth. She fought to fit it in, not realizing that it was going to get longer. He grunted, wanting to grab her by the ears, pull her closer...

  You sick fuck! Like clockwork, it had reappeared, the voice of his mother. You would like that, wouldn’t you? Fucking a poor college girl in the mouth like that. What do you think my friends would say if they knew you were fucking a girl almost a decade younger than you?

  “No, please, wait.” Mike pushed Dana away, his dick slipping out of her lips with a loud Splorp! “This isn’t something we should be doing.”

  “Oh, but I want to. Very much.” Dana turned around, peeling down the top of her yoga pants to reveal a beautifully-curved ass. Her pussy was trimmed neatly, just a few blonde hairs standing at attention while she wiggled her ass at him. She pulled off her tank top and threw it on the floor.

  Sick fuck! You have a hard on right now? That did it. As aggressive as Dana was, his mother’s voice was simply too much. “Please,” he begged. “Please just go. Keep the money, whatever, but I don’t want to fuck you.”

  “I think that your dick would tell me... oh.” Dana had grabbed at his cock, only to discover that he had gone soft. “Um, I, uh...”

  “You need to go.” Mike pulled up his pants. “I don’t have time for this right now, I’m kind of in the middle of some serious shit.” He scooted around her and picked up her tank top. He handed it over. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody what happened here.”

  “You’re kicking me out?” Dana asked, her face frozen in shock. “But I was sucking your dick.”

  “Yes, well, everyone makes mistakes.” Mike practically pushed the poor girl out the door, turning the deadbolt as soon as he’d closed it. Turning around, he slid down the door, staring at the clock next to the stairs.

  “So what’s your deal?” he asked it, half expecting an answer. “Did you make me travel back in time? Are you some type of time fairy? WHAT ARE YOU?”

  The clock didn’t answer him, and it still didn’t answer him three minutes later when he smashed it with a hammer.

  “SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK, Dr. Gorman?” Mike held his phone with trembling fingers as he sat naked in the bath. He had spent several hours there, hoping for Naia to reappear, but to no avail.

  “I think that you have an interesting situation on your hands.” The voice on the other end of the phone was low and smooth. Mike could almost smell the accompanying pipe smoke, a sense memory from years of sessions. “My best guess is that this was a psychotic break of sorts.”

  “But why? Why now? Why this?” Mike huddled in the back of the bath, trembling from the cool sensation of the ceramic basin. “Help me understand what happened.”

  “You inherited a home which once belonged to your family. This in turn reminds you of your mother, and the attempt at self-gratification somehow exposed a massive flaw in your psyche, causing you to slip into this reality where you meet these mythical creatures which are all extensions of your personality.” There was a moment of silence, followed by a puff of air. He never smoked during their face-to-face sessions, but Mike recognized the sound. He pictured the heavyset man, staring out the window of his Seattle home, probably wearing a smoking jacket, wisps of smoke curling over his graying beard.

  “For instance, this Naia person signifies rebirth. The bathtub is a metaphor for the womb, and she arrives in a torrent of water, much like a child. The goblin is really just repressed teenage sexuality, which is why she speaks like a child, but interacts with you intimately as an adult.” Another intake of air, and a steady exhale. “The banshee represents the death of your mother, your inability to come to terms with the fact that you will never receive closure from her. Freud could speak volumes on your relationship with her. And the statue represents the bystander effect, years of frustration with those who watched the abuse but never stepped in to help you.”

  “What about the house? It has secret doors, and caves, and oh shit, I forgot to mention the Labyrinth! A minotaur stole Tink’s goggles, and-”

  A cough interrupted him. “In all honesty, Michael, I think the best thing would be for you to part with this home and return to Seattle. Obviously something there has triggered several dormant psychoses that will only serve to divide your mind further from reality.”

  “No.” Mike trembled, nearly shouting into the phone. “No, it was all real, it had to be!”

  “Denial is the first stage of grief, Michael.” Another puff. “When you have reached acceptance, you know where to find me.”

  “Fuck!” Mike swore at the phone and tossed it out of the tub, where it clattered across the floor. If he really had lost his mind, what was the next step? Frustrated, he turned on the faucet and let the warm water lull him to sleep, dreams of Naia circling in his head.

  LOOKING OUT THE BACK window, it occurred to him that what he had gained in the last couple of days had made the world bright and wonderful. Now, however, the world seemed dirtier, like its color had been rinsed away. His breakfast was uneaten on the table, and his computer still wouldn’t boot up. He was unaware how long he had been sitting there, couldn’t even remember getting out of bed, much less putting on clothes and coming down the stairs.

  The doorbell rang, but Mike ignored it. Something inside him had broken, a fragile something had cracked apart, taking with it years of healing. Naia, Tink, Cecilia, and Abella were gone, had probably never even existed. He was reminded of his mother after his father’s death, an emotional wound that had become cancerous, poisoning her very being. How could he cope with a loss that wasn’t real? How could he move forward and seek happiness that he had only found in his imagination?

  The doorbell rang again, twice. Rolling his eyes, he stood up. He really hoped it wasn’t Dana-that girl freaked him out too much. Or Beth. Or anybody human for that matter.

  Opening the door, he found it hard to muster any enthusiasm for the woman standing on his porch. She wore a black dress that clung to her body like ink, and her dark hair was shot through with red highlights. Thigh high, black leather boots disappeared beneath the hem of her skirt, and her hips were cocked to one side, accentuating the curve of her ass.

  “Hello, Mr. Radley.” Her voice was a purr, dripping with sensual undertones. “I was wondering if I could have a word with you.”

  “Sure, I guess.” He let her in the house. She eyed the grandfather clock, or rather what was left of it. He hadn’t bothered cleaning up.

  “My name is Lily.” She offered her hand, which he shook. “Oh my, you have a strong grip! Do you work out?”

  “Not really. Can I help you?” His eyes were on the landing up above, hoping for the tell-tale sounds of splashing. He couldn’t fight the nagging feeling that he had missed something, a crucial detail that would help him figure out what had happened.

  “Right, well, I’ve come as a representative for the Historical Preservation Society. I was hoping we could talk about the house.” She smiled, walking away from him into the front room, her ass swaying dramatically with each step.

  “I don’t remember you from the website,” he told her, following close behind. He couldn’t help but stare at the numerous buckles that were on her boots. Ordinarily, they were for show and a zipper could be seen on the back, but that didn’t seem to be the case here.

  “What website?” She smirked, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Oh, right. For the Society. I’m on there. I’m the Head of Community Outreach. I take care of potential problems with new acquisitions, that kind of thing.”

  “Look, I don’t know how to tell you this, but the house isn’t for sale.”

  “Oh? Why not?” Lily crossed her arms, pressing her breasts upward. She threw her shoulders back, pushing them forward even more.

  “Doesn’t matter. I’m not selling.” Mike shook his head. “I told those other two the same thing when they dropped by.”

  “I assure you that I’m the only one who has dropped by, Mr. Radley.” The gap between th
em had closed, and he realized he was staring at the crease between her breasts. His mouth was suddenly dry, his heart beating faster. “As for acquiring the house, instead of a sale, maybe we could come to another arrangement?”

  “I’m not sure what that arrangement would be. I intend to live here.”

  “Maybe let me organize a field study? Have some of the others come here, check things out. They’ve been dying to see the inside, but the estate company wouldn’t let them in.”

  “I’m not sure how that will help,” Mike said, realizing how close she stood. The way her dark eyes sparkled was overwhelming. “I mean, letting people in won’t really give them what they want.”

  “But it would give me what I want.” Her voice was husky, her dark red lips suddenly all he could see. “All I need is a start, a foot in the door.” A slender finger touched him and drew tiny circles on his chest. “Maybe it sounds strange, but I would be eternally grateful.” The way she said eternally sent chills down his spine, but his cock was reacting to her touch. Despite his lack of interest, there was a part of him that wanted to know just how grateful.

  His cock rose in his pants. Lily’s face broke into a broad smile, her eyes never leaving his. She licked her lips hungrily, lips that begged to be kissed, licked, and even fucked.

  You’re so disgusting! His mother’s voice was stronger than ever, reverberating through his being. The past few days had silenced her, bringing him overdue peace. Now, having discovered that his mind had fractured, she had a newfound strength, a way of terrifying that little boy who still hid deep inside, the one that thought he had finally found love and acceptance.

  “You’re much cuter in person,” Lily told him, her fingers trailing down his body. “I think we could come to a mutual-” She frowned as she looked down and realized his cock had gone completely limp. She stared at his crotch, disbelief on her face.

  “You need to go,” he told her. Lily’s face was frozen in shock as he pushed her gently to the front of the house. “And tell those assholes at the Society that I have no interest in ever letting them near this place.”