Secret Millionaire for the Surrogate

by Donna Alward

  “You spent most of the day in first stage, I think,” the nurse said. “The good news is, it won’t be long now.”

  And it wasn’t. Less than an hour later, Isabelle Janice Brimicombe came screaming into the world, much to the delight of her mother and father and Harper.

  “We want you to be her godmother,” Adele said, once the room had quieted and the three of them were left alone for a few minutes. Adele held the baby in her arms, and Harper felt a rush of emotion she couldn’t quite define. Happiness and sadness and fullness and emptiness all at once, but she knew that no matter what, she’d be there for Isabelle, and answering yes was the easiest thing in the world.

  “We can never repay you for the gift you’ve given us,” Dan said, his hand on Adele’s shoulder. Tears glimmered in his eyes. “Harper, I...” Overcome with emotion, he laughed a little as tears slid down his cheeks. “I have a daughter because of you. Thank you hardly seems like anything.”

  Of course she was happy for them. This was what she’d wanted for Adele. Now Harper had roots in this town because of their relationship. It was her home. There was nothing more important.

  Adele handed the baby to Dan and took Harper’s hands in hers. “I want you to know,” she said quietly, tears clogging her voice, “that you are the sister I never had and always wanted. I love you, Harper. Dan’s right. I can never repay you for what you’ve given us.”

  She sniffed, emotion getting the better of her. “I feel the same, sweetie. Besides, no repayment is necessary.” She gave them a tired smile. “Now, as much as I love you guys, the nurse is going to come back in a few moments, and I’m going to have a shower and put on some pajamas. I’m not sure I need spectators for that.” She looked up at Dan, who was staring at Isabelle’s face with such awe her heart melted. “The baby will spend the night in the nursery and we’ll all go home tomorrow, right?”

  Adele nodded. “Yes. Oh my gosh, yes. Home.”

  The nurse came in with a smile. “Okay, happy family. It’s time to get Harper fixed up. You feeling a bit wobbly, hon?”

  She nodded. “A little, but I think I’ll be fine.”

  Once Dan, Adele and the baby were ushered away, the nurse gently helped Harper out of bed and to the bathroom and shower. “Take your time,” she said, “and go ahead and sit down if you need to. The warm water is going to feel great, and before you know it we’ll have you in a comfy bed for a well-deserved sleep.”

  The shower was already running and Harper stepped inside, holding on to a bar for stability. She felt fine, really. At least physically. Now that the pains were over, she was tired. And the nurse was right. The hot water felt heavenly.

  But as she stood under the spray, tears came to her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. Her breath came in sharp gasps and she tried to be quiet so she didn’t alarm the nurse, who she knew would be somewhere nearby. But she couldn’t help it, couldn’t explain it. She cried...for the baby she’d carried, for the baby who was now someone else’s, for the one she would probably never have, for the life she was now going to have to go back to, empty and lonely.

  And when she had cried herself out, she shut off the shower, and the nurse silently helped her dry and get dressed, not commenting on Harper’s blotchy face. Instead she retrieved a tissue for Harper to blow her nose, and got her settled in a wheelchair to take her to a private postnatal room.

  The baby was healthy and now it was time for Harper to reset—physically, mentally and emotionally. It was time for her to get back to her own life.

  And yet somehow she got the feeling nothing was going to be quite the same.

  She was home by three the next afternoon, sitting in the back of Dan’s car along with the car seat and a sleeping Isabelle inside. She reached out and touched her finger to the soft blanket keeping the baby warm, her little eyelids nearly translucent beneath the pink knitted cap. At home, Adele offered to help her inside, but Harper smiled and shook her head. “Go home with Dan and Isabelle,” she said softly. “I’m going to make some tea, grab a book and rest for a while.”

  And so Adele and her little family left her just inside her doorway.

  Life would return to normal now, she thought. Except it couldn’t, because too much had happened for it to look like it had only ten months earlier, before she’d started going to the doctor appointments, before the pregnancy test. She was different now; she could feel it deep inside, like somehow her DNA had changed.

  She took exactly two days off work. On the third day she was back at the studio, working at her computer. Not pushing herself, but she needed to get back into a regular routine. She edited and put together packages for clients. Went back to earlier in the summer and pulled up wildlife photos and landscapes, scouring them for ones worthy of showing out front. She came in one day and discovered that her mama and babies grizzly print had sold, but Juny said it was an off-the-street purchase. The sales receipt showed a name and address from Calgary. She was sad to see it go.

  She replaced it with the grizzly photo from Stewart Canyon, but in doing so, she went through the photos of the day and caught the ones of Drew and the bighorn sheep. She stared at them for long minutes, wondering what in the world was wrong with her. She was going through the motions. Nothing excited her. The photos of Drew made her sad. She worked each day and then went home and stared at the TV, or went to bed since she always seemed tired. It was like living life in black and white after being in bright, wonderful colour.

  She lost her baby weight.

  Aspen Outfitters announced a grand opening of the second week of February, right around Valentine’s Day, when Isabelle would be a month old. The store sign was installed and Opening Soon banners placed in the windows. Now Harper had a reminder of Drew whenever she walked down Banff Avenue to some of her favorite haunts. She couldn’t look at Cow’s Ice Cream the same, either.

  When Drew left she’d had the pregnancy to keep her going. Now she felt as if she had nothing. Work wasn’t the same. She couldn’t get up any enthusiasm for their scheduled photo shoots. It seemed as if she was photographing the same things over and over. Home wasn’t the same, either. All she’d wanted as long as she could remember was a home of her own. Now she had it...and it wasn’t enough.

  She’d always heard the saying be careful what you wish for. Now she knew what it meant. If the life she’d created for herself wasn’t the answer to her loneliness, what was?

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  DREW HUDDLED INSIDE his coat against the freezing rain that was falling. In just over a week the Banff location was going to open, and the hectic but brilliant finishing touches were under way before the grand opening. Another store would open in Whistler in the summer. He should be happy. Canadian expansion was happening, the business was growing, and he’d had a fantastic trip to Switzerland in September. Life was exactly as he wanted it.

  Except he was unhappy, and angry at himself for it.

  He jogged to his truck. By the time he got it unlocked and inside, his hair was wet with icy droplets.

  He drove by Harper’s studio on his way back to the hotel. He’d missed her more than he cared to admit. Nothing had been the same since the summer. For God’s sake, he’d gone out on two dates and had found himself comparing the women—unfavorably—with Harper within ten minutes.

  Being in Banff only made it worse. Dan was a new dad, proud as anything of his baby daughter, sleep-deprived and blissfully happy. Even looking at the baby reminded Drew of Harper. He remembered the awe on her face when he’d put his hand on her belly after hearing the heartbeat, or the way she’d fallen asleep on the porch swing, peaceful and so very beautiful.

  He’d get over her eventually, and it would be easier. Right?

  Except he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Last night Dan had taken him aside and mentioned how he and Adele were worried about her. “Adele and I think she’s feeling very alone right now. You mi
ght have broken her heart, Drew, and now she doesn’t have the pregnancy to keep her going. Adele lets her spend lots of time with the baby, and she seems happy, but...”

  Drew turned down her street and parked a few houses away from hers. He rested his head on the steering wheel. The idea of actually breaking Harper’s heart caused him real physical pain. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, nothing had been right since he’d gone home at the first of August. He’d left a piece of himself back in Banff. He had fallen in love with Harper despite his best efforts not to.

  And now he had to make a choice. Either keep his distance, or take the few steps to her door and see her once more.

  He shut off the engine and let out a sigh. He remembered her saying she was worried about being attached to the baby, about getting too close. If nothing else, he could be a friend and make sure she was okay.

  * * *

  The knock on the door was unexpected. It was past six and neither Adele nor Dan had called to say they were coming over. With the new baby, surprise drop-ins didn’t happen as often as they used to.

  Juny and Adele and Dan had all expressed concern over her, and she kept answering that she was just bouncing back and a little tired. It was much easier than coming out with the complicated truth—that she was dissatisfied with the life she’d thought she wanted.

  Or that she’d let Drew in and got her heart broken. That was a big part of it, even if she wouldn’t admit it out loud to a single soul.

  She looked through the peephole and her breath seemed to strangle in her throat. Drew, looking handsome as ever, stood in the glow of her porch light in a down jacket, his breath making frosty clouds in the air.

  Drew. Out of thin air.

  Hands shaking, she unlocked the door and opened it. “Hi,” she said, standing back.

  “Hi. Can I come in?”

  “Too cold to stay out there.”

  He stepped inside, his gaze sweeping her from head to toe and back up again. “Dan was right,” he said, his voice low. “You look awful.”

  The words were a gut punch but also fired some indignation. “Gee, thanks. Is that all you came to say? I mean, it’s a Friday night, I’m off work and I’m allowed to lie around in sweats and a hoodie if I want to.”

  “Sorry,” he answered, and unzipped his coat. Apparently he was planning to stay. She could ask him to leave, but while he’d opened with a negative comment, she was still so glad to see him that she couldn’t bear to send him away so soon.

  She figured she shouldn’t. The truth was she still loved him.

  Then it occurred to her what he’d said. “Dan called you?”

  He nodded. “Not a call, per se. I’m in town to oversee the opening next week. He might have said something last night after dinner.”

  All of her feelings bubbled up into her chest and throat, but she didn’t say them. Instead she said, “I’m fine. I’m back at work and taking some downtime when I’m not shooting or at the studio. That’s it.” She did have some pride, after all. Before he’d gone back to California, she’d opened her heart to him. He’d rejected it. It wasn’t likely she’d do the same thing again in a hurry.

  Even if it was true.

  “Dan seemed to think you were feeling down.” He hung his jacket over a kitchen chair, looked at her for a minute and then sighed. “Harper, I remember how you were starting to have feelings about the pregnancy. Feeling attached to the baby. You went through all that and it’s not surprising that you might be lonely now that it’s over. Or...sad.” He’d done a bit of googling again. “Like...maybe postpartum depression or something.”

  Postpartum depression? She gawped at him for a full ten seconds, unable to respond. She had no doubt such a thing was possible; she’d done a fair bit of research herself. But that wasn’t what was going on with her. Her dissatisfaction came from wanting more. Because he’d shown her that life could be an adventure and she wanted more of it.

  “I’m not depressed,” she said firmly. “But you’re right. Something changed. And I’m not quite sure what to do about it yet.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  He looked genuinely perplexed. She went to the cupboard and took out a glass, filled it with water and handed it to him. “Here. Have a drink and sit down.”

  He did, and she sat in the chair closest to him, with just the corner of the table between them. He took a drink and put down the glass. “What changed? Does it have to do with Isabelle?”

  “No, not really.” She thought about the little girl and couldn’t help the smile that spread across her lips. “She’s adorable. And when I see Dan and Adele...it was the right thing, Drew. They’re so happy. I’ll always have a special bond with Belle. How could I not? But I have no regrets.”

  He nodded, his eyes sober. “I’m glad. I was worried about that...”

  The irritation flared again. “Why would you worry? You left. I haven’t heard from you since the summer, even though I know you’ve been in town. I don’t need you to check up on me, Drew. I’m doing just fine.”

  His jaw hardened. “If that’s so, why are Dan and Adele worried about you?”

  She tried to sound strong. And she was, really. But this was hard. There were times over the past five months that memories of Drew had kept her going. The times they’d shared had been magical.

  He leaned forward. “It’s okay to not be strong all the time. I know how much you want a family of your own, and how having the baby must have—”

  She pushed away from the table, cutting him off. “You really think this has to do with the baby? I’m proud of what I did. I’m so incredibly happy for Adele and Dan, and yeah, it had its moments but I’d do it all over again. If I’m unhappy, Drew, it’s not because of sweet Isabelle. It’s because I have a home and a family here, and my own business, and it’s no longer enough. And you did that. You took me on adventures and made me want more out of my life. That’s my problem. I’m not happy with the life I thought I always wanted.”

  She met his gaze. “Last summer, I told you I loved you and you ran. That’s on you, Drew. And yeah, maybe I wanted to finally have some stability. But you know what? I wasn’t running scared.” She lifted her chin. “And I’m still not.”

  He looked so shocked that she softened her voice. “But you still are. I’m not a fragile flower, Drew. But I have changed. And I’m trying to sort out what I’m going to do about it.”

  “I...” His gaze slid away from her, and then back again. “I didn’t know, Harper.”

  She exhaled through her nose, tried to calm her beating heart. “I know. And yes, you were there for me last summer. Getting over you hasn’t been easy, okay?” Seeing him again was going to set her back a few steps, too. “You should probably go.”

  He got up from his chair and went to her. “Not like this. Not angry. We left last time with you being angry, and I don’t like it.”

  “Why is that, do you think?” She tried to ignore the touch of his warm hands as he reached out for her fingers.

  “Because people don’t generally say no to me?”

  She couldn’t help the surprised smile at his honesty and insight. “Bingo. But you can’t fix this with your charm.”

  “Nothing’s changed for me, really,” he said. “I still...”

  But he didn’t finish. He didn’t need to. She knew he wasn’t the staying kind, and she also knew she couldn’t force someone to be who they weren’t.

  “You’re really okay?” he asked.

  “I will be. I just have a lot of things to figure out. I’m not happy, Drew. But no one can fix that but me. I certainly can’t rely on anyone else to fix it for me.”

  She took her hands away from his. “And you. You’re opening up the store next week and Adele says another in the summer in British Columbia. You’re getting what you wanted.”

  “Yeah, I guess I am.”


  Funny, he didn’t seem overly excited about it.

  “Well, that’s good, then.” She smiled. He needed to go. She hadn’t lied to him but she certainly hadn’t been 100 percent truthful. She still had her broken heart to worry about.

  “I’d better go. I’m having dinner with Dan and Adele.”

  “Yes, go. You won’t want to be late.”

  She walked him to the door and held it open as he shrugged on his jacket. He was outside when he turned back and met her gaze.

  “Will you come to the opening next week?”

  Her heart lurched. “Oh, Drew. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Just think about it, okay?”

  “Okay.” She’d think about it. And then find a reason not to go. The last time she’d set foot in that space, she’d had one of the best days of her life. She would be fine. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. A lot.

  He turned and left, jogging to his rented truck. She shut the door before he got inside and rested her forehead against the door.

  She had to sort things out soon. The status quo wasn’t doing her any favors, and seeing Drew only served to show her she wasn’t as over him as she thought.

  * * *

  Drew and Dan lingered over a cup of coffee after dinner while Adele took Isabelle for her bath. Dinner had been fine, but now that they were alone, Dan pressed.

  “You went to see her, didn’t you?”

  Drew let out a dry, humorless chuckle. “Is it that obvious?”

  “To me it is. You’re a wreck. Was it bad?”

  “Depends.” He took a deep drink of coffee. “She’s a strong woman, Dan. She’s going to be fine. Stubborn...”

  Dan laughed a little. “She’s not like other women. She doesn’t let you get away with things.”

  “Not even a little bit.”

  They sat quietly for a few minutes, the sounds of Adele singing to the baby filtering out to the living room. It created an unfamiliar wistfulness around Drew’s heart. “Hey, Dan? Can I ask you something?”