Will You Please Be Quiet, Please?

by Raymond Carver

  “Afraid?” He tried to make it sound as if this surprised him. “Were you afraid too, Mama?”

  The old woman did not answer. Her fingers fiddled around the sides of the blanket, tucking and pulling, covering against draft.

  “How do you feel. Nina? Feel any better tonight?” He pulled out a chair and sat down by the table.

  His wife nodded. He said nothing more, only looked down and began scoring his thumbnail into the table.

  “Did you catch who it was?” she said.

  “It was two kids,” he said. “I let them go.”

  He got up and walked to the other side of the stove, spat into the woodbox, and stood with his fingers hooked into his back pockets. Behind the stove the wood was black and peeling, and overhead he could see, sticking out from a shelf, the brown mesh of a gill net wrapped around the prongs of a salmon spear. But what was it? He squinted at it.

  “I let them go,” he said. “Maybe I was easy on them.”

  “You did what was right,” Nina said.

  He glanced over the stove at his mother. But there was no sign from her, only the black eyes staring at him.

  “I don't know,” he said. He tried to think about it, but already it seemed as if it had happened, whatever it was, long ago. “I should’ve given them more of a scare, I guess.” He looked at Nina. “My land,” he added. “I could’ve killed them.”

  “Kill who?” his mother said.

  “Them kids down on the Cowiche Road land. What Joseph Eagle called about.”

  From where he stood he could see his mother’s fingers working in her lap, tracing the raised design in the blanket. He leaned over the stove, wanting to say something else. But he did not know what.

  He wandered to the table and sat down again. Then he realized he still had on his coat, and he got up, took a while unfastening it, and then laid it across the table. He pulled up the chair close to his wife’s knees, crossed his arms limply, and took his shirt sleeves between his fingers.

  “I was thinking maybe I’ll lease out that land down there to the hunting clubs. No good to us down there like that. Is it? Our house was down there or it was our land right out here in front would be something different, right?”

  In the silence he could hear only the wood snapping in the stove. He laid his hands flat on the table and could feel the pulse jumping in his arms. “I can lease it out to one of the duck clubs from Toppenish. Or Yakima. Any of them would be glad to get hold of land like that, right on the flyway. That’s some of the best hunting land in the valley.... If I could put it to some use someway, it would be different then.” His voice trailed off.

  She moved in the chair. She said, “If you think we should do it. It’s whatever you think. I don’t know.”

  “I don’t know, either,” he said. His eyes crossed the floor, raised past his mother, and again came to rest on

  the salmon spear. He got up, shaking his head. As he moved across the little room, the old woman crooked her head and laid her cheek on the chairback, eyes narrowed and following him. He reached up, worked the spear and the mass of netting off the splintery shelf, and turned around behind her chair. He looked at the tiny dark head, at the brown woolen shawl shaped smooth over the hunched shoulders. He turned the spear in his hands and began to unwrap the netting.

  “How much would you get?” Nina said.

  He knew he didn’t know. It even confused him a little. He plucked at the netting, then placed the spear back on the shelf. Outside, a branch scraped roughly against the house.

  “Lee?”

  He was not sure. He would have to ask around. Mike Chuck had leased out thirty acres last fall for five hundred dollars. Jerome Shinpa leased some of his land every year, but Waite had never asked how much he got.

  “Maybe a thousand dollars,” he said.

  “A thousand dollars?” she said.

  He nodded, felt relief at her amazement. “Maybe so. Maybe more. I will have to see. I will have to ask somebody how much.” It was a lot of money. He tried to think about having a thousand dollars. He closed his eyes and tried to think.

  “That wouldn’t be selling it, would it?” Nina asked. “If you lease it to them, that means it’s still your land?”

  “Yes, yes, it’s still my land!” He went over to her and leaned across the table. “Don’t you know the difference, Nina? They can’t buy land on the reservation. Don’t you know that? I will lease it to them for them to use.”

  “I see, ’ she said. She looked down and picked at the sleeve of one of his shirts. “They will have to give it back? It will still belong to you?”

  “Don’t you understand?” he said. He gripped the table edge. “It is a lease!”

  “What will Mama say?” Nina asked. “Will it be all right?”

  They both looked over at the old woman. But her eyes were closed and she seemed to be sleeping.

  “A thousand dollars,” Nina said and shook her head.

  A thousand dollars. Maybe more. He didn’t know. But even a thousand dollars! He wondered how he would go about it, letting people know he had land to lease. It was too late now for this year—but he could start asking around in the spring. He crossed his arms and tried to think. His legs began to tremble, and he leaned against the wall. He rested there and then let his weight slide gently down the wall until he was squatting.

  “It’s just a lease,” he said.

  He stared at the floor. It seemed to slant in his direction; it seemed to move. He shut his eyes and brought his hands against his ears to steady himself. And then he thought to cup his palms, so that there would come that roaring, like the wind howling up from a seashell.

  WHAT’S IN ALASKA?

  Carl got off work at three. He left the station and drove to a shoe store near his apartment. He put his foot up on the stool and let the clerk unlace his work boot.

  “Something comfortable," Carl said. “For casual wear.”

  “I have something,” the clerk said.

  The clerk brought out three pairs of shoes and Carl said he would take the soft beige-colored shoes that made his feet feel free and springy. He paid the clerk and put the box with his boots under his arm. He looked down at his new shoes as he walked. Driving home, he felt that his foot moved freely from pedal to pedal.

  “You bought some new shoes,” Mary said. “Let me see.”

  “Do you like them?” Carl said.

  “I don’t like the color, but I’ll bet they’re comfortable. You needed new shoes.”

  He looked at the shoes again. “I’ve got to take a bath,” he said.

  “We'll have an early dinner,” she said. “Helen and Jack asked us over tonight. Helen got Jack a water pipe for his birthday and they’re anxious to try it out.” Mary looked at him. “Is it all right with you?”

  “What time?”

  “Around seven.” “It’s all right,” he said.

  She looked at his shoes again and sucked her cheeks. “Take your bath,” she said.

  Carl ran the water and took off his shoes and clothes. He lay in the tub for a while and then used a brush to get at the lube grease under his nails. He dropped his hands and then raised them to his eyes.

  She opened the bathroom door. “I brought you a beer,” she said. Steam drifted around her and out into the living room.

  “I’ll be out in a minute,” he said. He drank some of the beer.

  She sat on the edge of the tub and put her hand on his thigh. “Home from the wars,” she said.

  “Home from the wars,” he said.

  She moved her hand through the wet hair on his thigh. Then she clapped her hands. “Hey, I have something to tell you! I had an interview today, and I think they’re going to offer me a job—in Fairbanks.”

  “Alaska?” he said.

  She nodded. “What do you think of that?”

  “I’ve always wanted to go to Alaska. Does it look pretty definite?”

  She nodded again. “They liked me. They said I’d hear next week
.”

  “That’s great. Hand me a towel, will you? I’m getting out.”

  “I’ll go and set the table,” she said.

  His fingertips and toes were pale and wrinkled. He dried slowly and put on clean clothes and the new shoes.

  He combed his hair and went out to the kitchen. He drank another beer while she put dinner on the table.

  “We’re supposed to bring some cream soda and something to munch on,” she said. “We’ll have to go by the store.”

  “Cream soda and munchies. Okay,” he said.

  When they had eaten, he helped her clear the table. Then they drove to the market and bought cream soda and potato chips and corn chips and onion-flavored snack crackers. At the checkout counter he added a handful of U-No bars to the order.

  “Hey, yeah,” she said when she saw them.

  They drove home again and parked, and then they walked the block to Helen and Jack’s.

  Helen opened the door. Carl put the sack on the dining-room table. Mary sat down in the rocking chair and sniffed.

  “We’re late,” she said. “They started without us, Carl.”

  Helen laughed. “We had one when Jack came in. We haven’t lighted the water pipe yet. We were waiting until you got here.” She stood in the middle of the room, looking at them and grinning. “Let’s see what’s in the sack,” she said. “Oh, wow! Say, I think I’ll have one of these corn chips right now. You guys want some?”

  “We just ate dinner,” Carl said. “We’ll have some pretty soon.” Water had stopped running and Carl could hear Jack whistling in the bathroom.

  “We have some Popsicles and some M and M’s,” Helen said. She stood beside the table and dug into the potato-chip bag. “If Jack ever gets out of the shower, he’ll get the water pipe going.” She opened the box of snack crackers and put one in her mouth. “Say, these are really good,” she said.

  “I don’t know what Emily Post would say about you,” Mary said.

  Helen laughed. She shook her head.

  Jack came out of the bathroom. “Hi, everybody. Hi, Carl. What’s so funny?” he said, grinning. “I could hear you laughing.”

  “We were laughing at Helen,” Mary said.

  “Helen was just laughing,” Carl said.

  “She’s funny,” Jack said. “Look at the goodies! Hey, you guys ready for a glass of cream soda? I’ll get the pipe going.”

  “I’ll have a glass,” Mary said. “What about you, Carl?” “I’ll have some,” Carl said.

  “Carl’s on a little bummer tonight,” Mary said.

  “Why do you say that?” Carl asked. He looked at her. “That’s a good way to put me on one.”

  “I was just teasing,” Mary said. She came over and sat beside him on the sofa. “I was just teasing, honey.” “Hey, Carl, don’t get on a bummer,” Jack said. “Let me show you what I got for my birthday. Helen, open one of those bottles of cream soda while I get the pipe going. I’m real dry.”

  Helen carried the chips and crackers to the coffee table. Then she produced a bottle of cream soda and four glasses.

  “Looks like we’re going to have a party,” Mary said. “If I didn’t starve myself all day, I’d put on ten pounds a week,” Helen said.

  “I know what you mean,” Mary said.

  Jack came out of the bedroom with the water pipe. “What do you think of this?” he said to Carl. He put the water pipe on the coffee table.

  “That’s really something,” Carl said. He picked it up and looked at it.

  “It's called a hookah,” Helen said. “That’s what they called it where I bought it. It’s just a little one, but it does the job.” She laughed.

  “Where did you get it?” Mary said.

  “What? That little place on Fourth Street. You know,” Helen said.

  “Sure. I know,” Mary said. ‘‘I’ll have to go in there some day,” Mary said. She folded her hands and watched Jack.

  “How does it work?” Carl said.

  “You put the stuff here,” Jack said. “And you light this. Then you inhale through this here and the smoke is filtered through the water. It has a good taste to it and it really hits you.”

  “I’d like to get Carl one for Christmas,” Mary said. She looked at Carl and grinned and touched his arm.

  “I’d like to have one,” Carl said. He stretched his legs and looked at his shoes under the light.

  “Here, try this.” Jack said, letting out a thin stream of smoke and passing the tube to Carl. “See if this isn’t okay.”

  Carl drew on the tube, held the smoke, and passed the tube to Helen.

  “Mary first,” Helen said. “I’ll go after Mary. You guys have to catch up.”

  “I won’t argue,” Mary said. She slipped the tube in her mouth and drew rapidly, twice, and Carl watched the bubbles she made.

  “That’s really okay,” Mary said. She passed the tube to Helen.

  “We broke it in last night.” Helen said, and laughed loudly.

  “She was still stoned when she got up with the kids this morning,” Jack said, and he laughed. He watched Helen pull on the tube.

  “How are the kids?” Mary asked.

  “They’re fine,” Jack said and put the tube in his mouth.

  Carl sipped the cream soda and watched the bubbles in the pipe. They reminded him of bubbles rising from a diving helmet. He imagined a lagoon and schools of remarkable fish.

  Jack passed the tube.

  Carl stood up and stretched.

  “Where are you going, honey?” Mary asked.

  “No place,” Carl said. He sat down and shook his head and grinned. “Jesus.”

  Helen laughed.

  “What’s funny?” Carl said after a long, long time.

  “God, I don’t know,” Helen said. She wiped her eyes and laughed again, and Mary and Jack laughed.

  After a time Jack unscrewed the top of the water pipe and blew through one of the tubes. “It gets plugged sometimes.”

  “What did you mean when you said I was on a bummer?” Carl said to Mary.

  “What?” Mary said.

  Carl stared at her and blinked. “You said something about me being on a bummer. What made you say that?”

  “I don’t remember now, but I can tell when you are,” she said. “But please don’t bring up anything negative, okay?”

  “Okay,” Carl said. “All I’m saying is I don’t know why you said that. If I wasn’t on a bummer before you said it, it’s enough when you say it to put me on one.”

  “If the shoe fits,” Mary said. She leaned on the arm of the sofa and laughed until tears came.

  “What was that?” Jack said. He looked at Carl and then at Mary. “I missed that one,” Jack said.

  “I should have made some dip for these chips,” Helen said.

  “Wasn’t there another bottle of that cream soda?” Jack said.

  “We bought two bottles,” Carl said.

  “Did we drink them both?” Jack said.

  “Did we drink any?” Helen said and laughed. “No, I only opened one. I think I only opened one. I don’t remember opening more than one,” Helen said and laughed.

  Carl passed the tube to Mary. She took his hand and guided the tube into her mouth. He watched the smoke flow over her lips a long time later.

  “What about some cream soda?” Jack said.

  Mary and Helen laughed.

  “What about it?” Mary said.

  “Well, I thought we were going to have us a glass,” Jack said. He looked at Mary and grinned.

  Mary and Helen laughed.

  “What’s funny?” Jack said. He looked at Helen and then at Mary. He shook his head. “I don’t know about you guys,” he said.

  “We might go to Alaska,” Carl said.

  “Alaska?” Jack said. “What’s in Alaska? What would you do up there?”

  “I wish we could go someplace,” Helen said.

  “What’s wrong with here?” Jack said. “What would you guys do in Alaska?
I’m serious. I’d like to know.” Carl put a potato chip in his mouth and sipped his cream soda. “I don’t know. What did you say?”

  After a while Jack said, “What’s in Alaska?”

  “I don’t know,” Carl said. “Ask Mary. Mary knows. Mary, what am I going to do up there? Maybe I’ll grow those giant cabbages you read about.”

  “Or pumpkins,” Helen said. “Grow pumpkins.” “You’d clean up,” Jack said. “Ship the pumpkins down here for Halloween. I’ll be your distributor." “Jack will be your distributor,” Helen said.

  “That’s right,” Jack said. “We’ll clean up.”

  “Get rich,” Mary said.

  In a while Jack stood up. “I know what would taste good and that’s some cream soda,” Jack said.

  Mary and Helen laughed.

  “Go ahead and laugh,” Jack said, grinning. “Who wants some cream soda?”

  “Some what?” Mary said.

  “Some cream soda,” Jack said.

  “You stood up like you were going to make a speech,” Mary said.

  “I hadn't thought of that." Jack said. He shook his head and laughed. He sat down. “That’s good stuff,” he said.

  “We should have got more,” Helen said.

  “More what?” Mary said.

  “More money,” Jack said.

  “No money,” Carl said.

  "Did I see some U-No bars in that sack?” Helen said.

  “I bought some,” Carl said. “I spotted them the last minute.”

  “U-No bars are good,” Jack said.

  “They’re creamy,” Mary said. “They melt in your mouth.”

  “We have some M and M’s and Popsicles if anybody wants any,” Jack said.

  Mary said, “I’ll have a Popsicle. Are you going to the kitchen?”

  “Yeah, and I'm going to get the cream soda, too,” Jack said. “I just remembered. You guys want a glass?”

  “Just bring it all in and we’ll decide,” Helen said. “The M and M’s too.”

  “Might be easier to move the kitchen out here,” Jack said.

  “When we lived in the city,” Mary said, “people said you could see who’d turned on the night before by looking at their kitchen in the morning. We had a tiny kitchen when we lived in the city,” she said.