If You Choose Me (A Sugar Maple Novel)

by Ciara Knight

  Steps sounded inside, and then the click of the lock and the door opened. She stuck her head out and looked in all directions and then yanked him inside and slammed the door shut. “You need to stop,” she protested, but Wayne was done listening.

  “Nothing will make me stop because I know you don’t want to go with him. I know about your family. I know everything.” He overplayed his hand, but he only hoped it would get her talking.

  “Everything?”

  “Yes. I know about Beth.” He kept his face steady, even when she crumbled to the floor.

  “Mommy?” Beth ran out and wrapped her little arms around Shirley’s neck. “No. Bad Daddy. Make cry.”

  Wayne lowered to the ground and sat by Shirley’s side, rubbing small circles. “No, Daddy’s here to help.”

  “You’re not her daddy.” Shirley wiped her tears and pulled Beth into her arms. “I’m fine, darling. Wayne is here to help, not to make Mommy sad.”

  Beth kissed Shirley’s cheeks and wiped her tears. “Kiss make better.”

  “Yes, you make everything better. Now go play while I talk to Wayne.”

  She climbed off Shirley’s lap and stuck her finger out at Wayne. “No make cry, Daddy.”

  He took Shirley’s hand in his. “I only want to make your mommy happy.”

  Beth toddled away, as if his declaration would fix everything. He needed to find out more information, and he didn’t care how he got it if it meant saving Shirley from going with that awful man.

  He took her face and cradled it with care. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “How could I? You must hate me. How can you even touch me?”

  Wayne’s fear of what could be so terrible made him waver, but if there was one thing he knew, the truth was always the best answer. “How can you say such a thing?”

  Her face twisted in such shame, he wanted to pull her into her arms and tell her how much he cared. “Because I’m sinful and dirty and wretched, and I can’t bring this poison to the Besslers’ doorstep.”

  “Your parents. What are they threatening you with? I know you’d never leave with Harry if you had another choice. You don’t love him. I know you don’t.”

  She bowed her head, but he wouldn’t let her look away. “Tell me. I’ve discovered this much. I’ll discover all of it.”

  She jolted, stood up on her knees, and grabbed his coat collar. “No, stay out of it. You’ll only make things worse.”

  “Then tell me what they will do if you don’t leave with Harry. I’ll protect you. Nothing will stop me from finding out the truth. I won’t stop until I keep you here in Sugar Maple, with me. You and Beth.”

  Shirley shook her head, tears streaming down her face. “I’m not the one who needs protecting. They won’t hurt me. They’ll hurt the Besslers. They’ll hurt you.”

  Wayne suddenly realized what Harry must have said to Shirley to get her to change her mind about going to New York City with him. “I need to go. I promise it will all be okay.”

  He kissed her cheek and then ran out the door.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  February 14th, 1946. A date that Shirley knew she’d remember for the rest of her days. Today, she relinquished control of her life after finding a taste of freedom. She stroked Beth’s soft hair and knew there was no other choice. If she married Harry, then she’d keep Beth and be able to try to give her a loving home, Davey would be able to stay with the Besslers, and Wayne would be safe.

  Shirley picked up her suitcase and walked to the living room with all the dignity she could muster. Did the Besslers know of her sinful past and the shame she’d brought upon their family?

  Beth threw herself into Davey’s arms and cried.

  Rosie waited in the living room in her beautiful red dress she’d made for the Valentine’s Day dance. The little bump in her belly was a telling sign that all was well with her pregnancy. Another reason Shirley needed to take the stress far from the Bessler house. “You don’t have to do this,” Rosie pleaded.

  Shirley averted her gaze, unable to face her, guessing Rosie knew the truth that she was a ruined woman who belonged in a home for unwed mothers with a large scarlet letter on her chest like in the story she’d read years ago.

  “I do. And you would do the same to protect the ones you love,” Shirley managed without one tear.

  Rosie held her belly with one hand and Eva and Betty tucked into her side, with Gina throwing herself on the couch in an epic display and Reggie standing in the corner watching everyone. “But you have family here. The kind that will love you no matter what, and we want to help.”

  Shirley looked to the door, wishing she could see Wayne’s handsome face, feel his strong arms around her one last time, but that couldn’t happen. It was better that he didn’t come anywhere near them. She thought if she saw his deep blue eyes, she’d fall into his embrace and forget all about the consequences, but that’s what had started this entire mess. Now, she needed to be smarter and do what was right, not what her body and heart led her to do.

  She swallowed the lump of regrets. “We’ll write to you soon. Please, go enjoy the Valentine’s dance.”

  “It won’t be the same without you,” Victor said.

  Shirley lifted her suitcase and headed for the door. “I better get going before he shows up here.”

  “Let me take you to town.” Vic held Shirley’s coat up for her.

  “No. It would be harder to have him pick me up here, and I didn’t want to make a scene.”

  The kids surrounded Beth in a hug circle and they all cried, testing Shirley’s resolve not to cry herself.

  Rosie tugged Beth free of the children and wiped her tears. “You have a job now, Beth. You have to be a good girl for your mommy.”

  “I miss you,” Beth said and threw her arms around Rosie.

  Victor snatched her up and made her fly. He had a gift with redirecting children. Beth giggled, and by the time he had her coat and hat on with the door open, she was full-out laughing. Shirley mouthed a thank-you to Victor and then picked up her suitcase, took Beth’s hand, and headed to town.

  The snow fell harder today, covering Beth’s hat in white flakes. It would’ve been a perfect day to walk to town with Wayne by her side to dance the evening away at the Valentine’s social. Dreams that would never be, and it was time for her to face the truth.

  Harry waited by a car at the town square, waving her over with an irritated expression. “Get in. We need to make it out of this town before the snowfall traps us in this place.” He took her suitcase from her. “I guess we better start working on getting along since we’ll be man and wife soon. Your mother says the wedding will be set at the house with a preacher and a backdated marriage license.” He held the door open to the passenger side.

  She crawled into the back seat with Beth and snuggled with her to keep warm. When Harry settled in the driver’s seat, he glanced over his shoulder. “If that’s how you want to live the rest of your days, fine, but once we’re married, you’ll have to obey me.”

  “Let me be clear… My family will never allow you to harm me. There are many things that they will do in the name of keeping up their status in the community, but this isn’t going to be about controlling me. They’ll be controlling you.”

  “For that much money, I’ll figure out how to work with your family.” He revved the engine and backed out of the space.

  Knowing the truth of her future, Shirley grabbed the door handle, willing herself to flee. But this wouldn’t end. Her parents would never stop until their name was protected. She released the door and held tight to Beth. “Quick, let’s make a memory.” She sat Beth on her lap. “Pick a place in town, look at it, close your eyes, and memorize what you see.”

  Beth pressed her palms to the window. “Daddy!”

  Shirley looked out the window and caught a glimpse of Wayne standing at the corner.

  “Not your father. You best start calling me Daddy. Your grandparents won’t like it if you call m
e anything else in public,” Harry yelled at Beth.

  Beth either didn’t hear him or chose not to listen. “Daddy.” She banged on the window.

  “I can see this child needs some discipline. You’ll no longer be caring for her. We’ll have a nanny for that.”

  “No,” Shirley stated as if fact.

  “Your mother already hired one until the brat’s old enough to go to a girls’ boarding school.”

  Shirley pressed her own palm to the window, willing things to be different. To be able to choose the man she’d marry.

  The car thudded and bounced.

  “What the…?” Harry beat on the wheel and then hopped out.

  Wayne approached. She wanted to run and tell him she’d stay. Why did Harry have to hit something on the way out of town? They needed to go now before she lost her will to leave.

  Shirley held Beth tight but got out to investigate the problem. “What happened?”

  “Tire’s flat.” Harry rounded the car and yelled at Wayne, “You did this!”

  “Don’t worry. We’ll have this fixed immediately, and you’ll be on your way. You must’ve driven down Hope Street with all the debris from reconstruction there.” Wayne looked at Beth, who stretched out her arms to him. “It’s too cold out here. We need to get the ladies inside.”

  He reached for Beth, but Harry inserted himself between them. “I’ll stay with my wife.”

  To Shirley’s shock, Wayne didn’t argue the point about being married. Perhaps he’d given up. Despite his declaration never to let her go, perhaps he’d figured out there were no other options. “We can stay here,” Shirley said.

  Beth shivered in her arms. “Mommy, cold.”

  She nodded her agreement, and they followed Wayne to the courthouse, where the Valentine’s dance would be starting in only a matter of minutes. With Beth held tight to her chest, they made their way to the room filled with balloons and streamers decorating the ceiling, tables, and chairs. It looked perfect.

  “How long will this take?” Harry asked in a huff.

  “That depends on you,” Wayne said, settling into a military-style stance blocking the exit.

  “Wayne, no,” Shirley pleaded.

  He didn’t look at her. He only kept his eyes on Harry.

  “There’s nothing you can do to stop this.”

  “I already have.” Wayne lifted his chin. “You weren’t entirely honest with the Malone family.”

  Harry’s eyes flashed wild, searching the room as if he needed a way out. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I should’ve known you were a coward.” Wayne advanced, causing Harry to stumbled back, hitting a chair that scooted several feet.

  Shirley blinked but stood by, holding Beth and listening.

  “You lie. Besides, nothing you can say to the Malones would change anything. They’ll do whatever it takes to keep their name untarnished.”

  “He’s right,” Shirley said. “Trust me, they’ll never stop until they have covered up my sin.”

  “What’s sin, Mommy?” Beth asked, and at that moment, she wished the child in her arms still didn’t speak or understand much.

  “You’re both right about the Malone family, but in this case it means you can’t marry Harry Wilson. Your family would be shamed if you married a deserter who is supposed to be court-martialed.”

  Shirley gasped and covered her mouth.

  Wayne took another step, closing the short distance between him and Harry. “As a matter of fact, I’ve already contacted the military to let them know you’re here in town.”

  “No.” Harry morphed from bully to wimp in a breath. “I…I…”

  “Need to run. The way you left Shirley to run from her family,” Wayne said, stepping nose-to-nose with the man as if challenging him to a duel. “You care for no one but yourself. You are, and always will be, a coward.”

  “I’m no coward.” He shoved Wayne, but Mr. Mason and Officer Walker entered the room.

  Victor led the men. “We think it’s time for you to be leaving our town now.”

  Harry turned to Shirley. “You’ll never be safe. All you’ve done is caused your parents to come after you with thugs. This was the solution that allowed you to keep your child, allowed the Besslers to keep Davey, and that man not to be put in the ground.”

  Wayne took Beth from Shirley’s arms. “I knew you manipulated her to leave Sugar Maple. To leave me.”

  Shirley touched his arm. “He’s right, though. My parents will never stop.”

  Wayne kept his eyes on Harry and jerked his head toward the door. “Get him out of here.”

  The men ushered him out the door and left Shirley alone with Wayne and Beth. “You don’t know what you’ve done.”

  Wayne stroked Beth’s hair. “Hi, sweet girl.”

  “Hi, Daddy.”

  “I have a question for you.”

  “What Daddy?”

  “Would you like me to be your daddy forever?”

  “Yes.” She kissed his cheeks and held tight to his neck.

  Shirley moved to take her little girl from him. “No. Don’t do this. You don’t understand.”

  Wayne whistled, and Rosie came in with the children. He passed Beth to Davey. Instinct had Shirley reaching for her daughter, but Rosie shook her head and offered a reassuring smile. “I’ll take good care of her. You need to listen to Wayne now. And Shirley, we all love you. Now you just have to love and forgive yourself.”

  They left Shirley alone with Wayne, who took her shaking hands in his. “Your parents need you to cover up the fact that you had Beth before you were married. Well, I can do that. And your family agreed that the option I proposed is the best one for the family name.”

  Shirley scanned the room, waiting for large men to come in and take her from Sugar Maple. “I don’t understand.”

  “They agree that an award-winning war correspondent was a better match for their daughter than a man who is up for court-martial for desertion.” Wayne caressed her cheek, drawing her attention to him and away from her fear. “Shirley, it’s going to be all right. You can keep Beth and live in Sugar Maple, with me.”

  “But my parents… They would want me to marry a man who’s of social standing. They’ll never let this happen.”

  “They will because I’m the man with all the evidence, and if they didn’t agree, I’d publish the story.”

  Shirley gasped. “You’d tell the world that I had a baby out of wedlock? I’d be shamed and never find a place to raise Beth.”

  “No, I’d share the corrupt business they’ve engaged in during the war that made them money. As for you being ashamed of your past… You’re not the first woman or the last who was seduced by a soldier headed to war.”

  Shirley bowed her head. “How could you forgive me? How can you look at me?”

  He grabbed hold of her arms and pulled her close until she had to look up at him. “You listen to me. I love you, Shirley Stephens, Malone, whatever. I admire the woman you’ve become to protect your child. You’re brave, innocent, loving, and protective of those you care about. You were willing to sacrifice your own happiness to save us, but you don’t have to now.”

  She opened her mouth to protest, but he covered it with one finger. “I know I’m not worthy of you. I’m an orphan turned drifter, a jobless man who has little to offer you, but what I do offer is my love. I want to marry you and be Beth’s father. We’ll make a life here in Sugar Maple where Beth will have cousins to play with and the Bessler children. If you choose me, I’ll never control you, manipulate you, or lie to you. I will only love you.”

  “You can’t love me. I’m damaged.”

  “If you won’t believe in my words, then believe in this.” Wayne took her into his arms and kissed her, long and hard, and when he finally released her, she knew one thing. He spoke the truth.

  He loved her.

  And he loved her little girl.

  And they would be a real family together.
/>   Epilogue

  “They will be exhausted after such a long journey. We should head straight back to Mrs. Slaughter’s house and get them settled.” Shirley eyed the bus pulling into the station.

  Rosie patted her large belly. “The kids and I made some treats. We’ll drop them off this afternoon for your niece and nephew.” She looked to her five children running around, even Davey looked child-like. A change that occurred after he’d discovered he’d be part of the Bessler family forever.

  Wayne scooped Beth up into his arms. “Are you ready to meet your cousins?”

  “Yes, but I was flower girl.”

  Wayne stole her nose, and she batted at his hands. “You’ll always be my girl.”

  The bus squealed to a stop. “I know Mrs. Slaughter will be happy when Helen can start working. Apparently Sugar Maple is becoming a hot spot for nature lovers. An escape from the real world. The Slaughter Inn is booked through summer,” Mr. Bessler scooped Eva up in his arms and twirled her around.

  The doors opened and the driver got out. Wayne still struggled with the idea of taking care of everyone, but he’d grown to understand that he could run and protect himself or choose to have a real family. “And this will give Helen something to help with her own children. I know she didn’t want to work in a factory, but this way she’ll be with her kids when they get home from school.”

  Shirley slid her arm around his waist, causing his body to warm instantly. “And you, starting your own paper. I’m so proud to call you my husband.”

  “A husband who still needs to make enough money to put a roof over our own head instead of staying at the inn. She’ll need that room soon.” He slipped his hand to her belly. “And we’ll need two soon enough. Not to mention, it’ll be nice to have Beth in a room with a little brother or sister instead of in our room,” he whispered in her ear.

  People unloaded, flooding out to crowd the area around them. Wayne spotted Helen and opened his arms to her.

  “This is an unexpected greeting. I can see the letters are true. Shirley Bishop has tamed the wild and unattached Wayne Bishop.”