Vince turned away from me. “Don’t. Let’s just leave it.”
I closed the distance between us and laid my hand on his shoulder. “Where do we go from here?”
Vince stood with head bowed for a long moment. Then he spun around and hugged me tight and whispered in my ear. “We stay friends.”
I held on, relief flooding through me.
I don’t know how long we stood there, embracing each other, afraid to let go until we heard voices approaching.
Neither of us spoke much as Vince drove me home to get ready for my date.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
April 5, 2013 – Melody, age 14
While I waited outside the library for James, a rush of traffic blurred past. My thoughts kept going back over the day. How could I have missed how Vince felt about me? I hoped I hadn’t lost the best friend I’d ever had.
Before I had too much time to think, James pulled up to the curb in front of me. He leaned across the passenger seat and opened the door. I hopped in, and he merged back into traffic.
“I thought about you all the way through practice today.” James took one hand off the wheel and patted my knee.
I laced my fingers between his.
He gave me a crooked grin. “I have something special planned for the end of spring break.”
“I thought we were going to the movies.”
He squeezed my hand. “This is better. You’ll see.”
Vince’s warning came back to me. The urge to break free returned, so I settled into my seat, ready for whatever came.
When we reached the outskirts of the city, James turned the car onto the road into the mountains.
He shot me a couple of glances. “You told me how much you like the mountains, so I thought we’d get a little closer to the stars tonight.”
My heart melted a little and I couldn’t keep the grin from sneaking across my face.
James hit the button to turn on the radio and bopped his head in time with the beat that filled the car. “Oh yeah.” He drummed his hands against the steering wheel and joined in on the chorus.
A big smile held back the laugh building inside me. He sang with gusto, but off-key and couldn’t carry the tune with both hands.
When he noticed my smile, he sang louder. “This is one of my favorite songs.” He turned up the music.
“I can tell.” I had to yell to be heard.
When we turned off the main road onto an unlit poorly paved road, it reminded me of the night I arrived at Quatie Raincrow’s. I pushed the thought from my mind. Too much had happened since then. Remembering the good times hurt too much.
James stopped in front of a dark cabin. He shut the car off, unbuckled his seat belt, and twisted around to kiss me. Kiss melded into kiss. His tongue always had the tang of the cinnamon gum he chewed. Had he brought me up in the mountains just to make out in the car?
After a few moments, James broke off the kiss. “Now that’s how I like to say hello.” He brushed his index finger against the tip of my nose. “But let’s not stay out here all night.”
The fresh woody essence from the surrounding trees mingled with his sandalwood-scented cologne when he opened the door. He hadn’t worn musk since the afternoon at the movies.
“Come on, don’t stay in the car.” He ran around the car to open my door. He took my hand to help me out. “This is my Uncle Bill’s cabin. He let me borrow the keys.”
Hand at the small of my back, he led me up the porch steps to the front door. As James fumbled with the keys in the locks, I noticed a big round object past the rocking chairs on the end of the porch. My eyes were adjusted to the dark, but there simply wasn’t enough light to see what it was. A creek gurgled as the water flowed by.
“The creek sounds close.”
James looked over his shoulder. “That’s because it’s about twenty feet away.”
The lock finally clicked, and James pushed the door open. He reached inside, grabbed something, and flipped the porch light on. He faced me with his hand behind his back.
His blue eyes twinkled. “I want you to know how much spending time with you, getting to know you better, has meant to me.” He pulled his arm from behind his back and handed me a bouquet of roses.
“Oh, James ...”
“Uh-uh.” He placed a finger on my lips. “Let me finish. Especially this past week. Spending time with you has been so much fun, I wanted to make tonight special.”
He stepped back and held out his arm for me to pass. As I crossed the sill, he flipped the lights on. We walked into a big room which was divided into a combination kitchen and family room. Uncle Bill’s log cabin walls were burled and polished to a high gloss; the floor was large rock tiles. A big stone hearth took up half of one wall.
James closed the door and led me to the couch. On the coffee table in front of the couch sat a bottle of wine and two glasses.
A flutter of excitement made my heart beat a little faster. “When did you do all this?”
He gave me a sly grin. “I have my ways.” He peeled the foil from the neck of the wine bottle and then plunged the corkscrew in. “A little celebration for our eight-week anniversary.”
Aw. Guys didn’t usually keep track of things like anniversaries. How sweet. A flush crept into my cheeks.
“Take off your coat, have a seat, and get comfortable.” He poured the wine, then went to the hearth, took the matches from the mantle, and lit the fire.
I sat on the leather couch, not quite able to relax. I couldn’t believe James had gone to all this trouble. The reckless feeling inside me surged. I’d never had wine before, but maybe it would help me forget ... everything.
Not seeing a vase, I laid the flowers on the coffee table. The red of the wine matched the deep red of the roses.
James flopped on the couch next to me, put his arm across my shoulders, and leaned his head back. “Pretty sweet place, right?” He put his feet on the coffee table. “Relax, babe.”
Scooting a little closer, I nestled against him.
He stroked my hair. “That’s better.” His heels slid off the coffee table as he turned and cupped my face. He gazed into my eyes. “Do you know how beautiful you are?”
His eyes took on a hooded look and his face slowly closed in on mine. His lips brushed my cheek, the barest feathery touch. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against mine. I kissed him and flicked my tongue against his lips.
He opened his eyes, a slow grin crossing his face, and my world faded to the sky blue of his eyes. His hands fondled my neck. As kiss followed kiss, my tension flowed away. I relaxed into the couch.
James shifted and slid me down until my head rested on the arm of the couch. He lay against me on the edge, trailing a hand down my back. Our breath mingled and I could no longer tell where one kiss broke off and the next began. I gave myself up to the moment. Nothing mattered but his lips caressing mine.
He broke off for a moment and smiled. “You may not talk much, but you sure know what to do with your tongue.” His face dipped back toward mine. He ran a finger along my forearm and started a fire of desire. He cupped my breast and sighed.
My hands ran over his taut back muscles. I slid a hand under his shirt and his breath caught. He gave me a tender kiss, then sat up and ran his hands through his short hair.
“Wow, you are so hot tonight.” He shook his head. “We haven’t even had any wine yet. And I have another surprise for you.”
At first, I was going to object because I wasn’t ready to stop. Kissing James meant everything else went away, and I needed it to so much. I smirked. James couldn’t keep his hands to himself when we were alone together so it wouldn’t be long before we were making out again.
He raised his eyebrows. “That’s a mischievous smile if I ever saw one. What are you thinking about?”
I tilted my head. “You.”
“Perfect answer.” He stood. “Don’t you want to know what the surprise is?”
“Does it involve more kis
sing?”
He held out his hand. “If you play your cards right, it will.”
When I placed my hand in his, in one tug he pulled me to my feet and up against him. His arms encircled me, and hands slid down to my butt and he kissed me deeply again. My pulse quickened.
He leaned his forehead against mine. “Surprise first. More making out later.”
He grabbed my hand and led me out onto the porch. The night air chilled instantly. James strode to the big thing at the edge of the porch and pulled the cover off.
“A hot tub?” My jaw slackened.
He dipped his fingers in the water. “Perfect. I flipped the heater on when we got here. I thought it was probably warm enough.” He put his hand in his pocket. “I promised you a chance to look at the stars while on the mountain. We’re gonna stargaze from the hot tub while we drink our wine.”
“But I don’t have a suit.”
He arched one eyebrow. “You’ve never heard of skinny dipping?”
Naked?
“Come on, Mel. It’s just us up here. No one else is around for miles. We’re facing the creek and I’ll turn off the light so we can see the stars better.”
I walked over and trailed my fingers in the water. The steam billowed from the tub. It felt good in the cold night air.
“You only live once.” He gave me a rakish smile. “Be daring.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “So how do we do this? Strip in the freezing cold?”
His eyes widened. “Seriously, you will?”
“Surprised? Maybe I’m feeling a bit adventurous tonight.” And maybe I needed something to help me forget—a sweet memory to hold on to when reality got ugly. I pushed my palm against his shoulder. “But you didn’t answer my question. And I’m starting to get cold standing out here. You don’t want me cold, do you?”
“No way.” He opened the front door. “We’ll change inside. I have some big towels.”
Once inside, he grabbed a large towel and handed it to me. “You can go into the bedroom, first door on the left, to change. I’ll be ready for you when you’re done.”
I threw the towel over my shoulder and marched into the bedroom. Once the door was closed, I slumped against it. Was I crazy? I liked James and had fun kissing him, but naked? Was I ready for this?
I took a deep breath. The reckless voice that had been with me all day piped up. Why not? It wasn’t like I didn’t know where James was trying to take this night. The roses, the cabin, the wine ... at least he cared about me—not just a body to do his business with. This wouldn’t be a guilty secret. I wouldn’t feel dirty.
I refused to feel used.
Then why did my hands shake as I unbuttoned my blouse? Anticipation? It wasn’t too late. I’d tell him I couldn’t do it.
At the thought of the disappointment on his face, I shook my head. No. I was all in on this adventure. This was my choice and not something someone else did to me.
I stripped the rest of my clothes off and laid them on the bed. After wrapping the towel around me, I rejoined James in the family room.
He wore his towel wrapped around his waist, his chest bare. I gulped. I wanted nothing more than to run my hands over his bare chest.
He gazed into my eyes. “I thought you might have changed your mind.” He opened the door. “I’m glad you didn’t.”
Standing next to the hot tub, I was hit by a bit of shyness. Should I just drop the towel? Why did I have to be so awkward? James might decide having a freshman girlfriend was more trouble than it was worth, and someone older would know how to skinny-dip without being so unsure.
“I’m going to turn my back while you get in. Then I’ll turn on the jets and join you.”
Oh, thank goodness.
When he turned his back, I pulled the towel off, draped it on the rocking chair closest to the tub, hurried through the freezing night and climbed in. Lowering into the water, I sighed. It felt so good.
The jets started.
“Whoops. I almost forgot the wine. Be right back.”
He disappeared through the front door and returned moments later holding two full glasses. He had poured them half full before, so he topped them off before returning. He handed me a glass, then whipped his towel off and let it drop to the ground. I couldn’t help but take a peek before turning my head while he climbed into the tub.
He scooted next to me and raised his glass. “To tonight and eight happy weeks of being together.”
We clinked glasses. The wine had a slightly tangy taste. As it slid down, I felt the warmth spread from inside out.
“You can take a bigger sip than that. It’s time to relax.” James raised his glass and took another sip.
I looked at the sky. The stars were bright. Last night the clouds would have covered them. Tonight, the sky went on forever. I took another, bigger, sip of wine.
“That’s it. You’ll relax better.”
The warmth from the wine and the hot tub did its job. The rest of the tension I’d been carrying around left. I could sit in the hot tub staring at the sky all night long. The only problem was the sun would come out in the morning and mask the stars.
Daddy always said everything in the world was Earth’s reflection of the stars. For about the millionth time I wondered how the Grandfathers had taken him. Nothing but death would have kept him from me. But to never know how ...
I had to block the past. Raising the glass to my lips, I drained it in a few swallows.
“Whoa, you don’t want to drink it too fast.”
I set the glass on the tub ledge and leaned toward James. Wrapping an arm behind his head, I pulled him in for a deep kiss. He broke off the kiss long enough to put his near-empty glass down beside mine. Then he cupped my face and kissed me.
I placed a hand on his wrist and pulled it down until it covered my breast. The intensity in his kisses increased. I let my hands roam over his back. He ran his other hand down my spine to my buttock and stroked it.
If Earth was a reflection of the stars, they must be sparkling bright tonight.
I tasted the wine on James’s tongue and it mingled with the chlorine in the tub. I moved my hands to his front and explored. My heart raced and my breathing became heavy with desire. As my hand trailed down his abdomen, I accidentally went too far, and my fingers raked against his shaft. I pulled back.
James pulled me tighter to him and kissed me deeply while taking hold of my hand and deliberately moving it back down. When my fingers touched him, he moaned.
The jets turned off and the water cleared.
James pulled his head back for a moment and swept his gaze over my body. “Do you want to go in?”
Unable to look away, I nodded.
He kissed me on the forehead and hopped out of the tub. After he wrapped the towel around his waist, he picked up mine and held it out in front of him. When he wrapped me in the towel, he grabbed my butt and pulled me against him and kissed me. I shivered, but I didn’t know whether it was from the cold or from the kiss.
Once inside, he led me into a different bedroom than the one where I had undressed. James turned down the covers, then dropped his towel. As he embraced me, his lips met mine and he loosened the towel so we stood naked front to front.
He sat on the bed and pulled me down with him. He stroked the hair away from my face while gazing in my eyes. Inching to the other side of the bed, he scooted under the covers and held them up for me to join him.
My stomach knotted. Would this be like it was with Hatchet? I didn’t want to ruin what James and I had. But I’d come too far to turn back.
James brushed my cheek with his fingertips. “Don’t tense up. It’ll be okay.”
He leaned over and I thought we were going to kiss again, but he took my breast and kissed it instead of my mouth.
I gasped. I never knew it could feel like that. My fingers raked up and down his back as he sucked on my breasts. His hand slid down my side, then to my inner thigh. My body felt on fire everywhere he touched.
My breath quickened. When his fingers slipped between my legs and rubbed, it was my turn to moan.
James grabbed a condom off the nightstand and ripped the package open with his teeth. He knelt on the bed beside me. I took the condom from him and rolled it on.
He kissed me and knelt between my legs. “This is gonna be a night to remember.” He positioned himself and entered me. Giving me a deep kiss, he started thrusting.
He grunted, but I heard Hatchet’s grunt.
No, this was James. I wanted this.
Hatchet’s straining face filled my mind.
I tried to focus on James, but my mind betrayed me and I kept seeing Hatchet. My body went rigid. James kept pumping away.
A tear escaped and slid down my cheek to the pillow behind. James’s grunts became moans and his thrusting became frantic as he kept saying oh yeah over and over. Then his whole body shuddered as he came.
He slid out and collapsed next to me, panting heavily.
I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.
“Melody, what’s wrong?” James used an elbow to prop himself up. “Why are you crying?”
The sobs wracked my body and I couldn’t talk.
James hopped up. “What the hell?” He paced beside the bed. “You wanted it.” He pointed at me. “You put the condom on me.”
I couldn’t catch my breath.
James strode out of the room. When he came back, he had his pants on and had my clothes. He tossed them at me. “Get dressed.”
The disgusted look on his face was more than I could bear. A fresh wave of sobs erupted.
He put his hands on his hips. “Most girls like it. Are you some sort of freak?”
“No.” I shuddered trying to get enough breath. “You don’t understand.”
“You’re right. I don’t.” He shook his head. “You’re supposed to enjoy it, not burst into tears.” He threw his hands in the air. “Just get dressed. I’ll take you home.”
I had wanted this night to bury memories of Hatchet. Instead, Hatchet had screwed me again.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Spring 2015 – Melody, age 16
Speak No Evil Page 23
