The Key to Love

by Callie Bardot

  “Whatever you’re going to say to me, I don’t want to hear it. I’m done being your little on-again, off-again bitch.” Trevor stormed out of the studio, leaving Keys with more messes than he knew how to deal with.

  Keys’ life was officially screwed.

  Mia

  Mia sat on her silver designer suitcase, struggling to get the clasp closed. The suitcase sat, bursting with clothes and shoes, on the hand-tied wool and silk carpeted floor of her bedroom. Finally, the clasp connected with a hollow snick. “There, you rascal. Now stay closed, okay?” she scolded, rising to stand.

  Max rubbed her legs anxiously. He always got nervous when she got the suitcase out.

  “Don’t worry, the neighbor’s going to care for you until I find a new place. Then, I promise I’ll send for you. Don’t worry, my sweet little love bug.” She picked him up and kissed the tip of his wet nose.

  He licked her face with his raspy tongue.

  With a sigh, she gazed at the room as she hugged Max close. Every square inch of this place had been designed by her. From the luxurious red and gold bedding to the long gold drapes to the hyacinth, peach, and cherry wallpaper that she had sent from Europe, the place had become a well-designed fortress. “I’m going to miss this apartment. But better to be missing it then being dead somewhere.” She glanced at the screen of her cell phone. A quarter to four. Keys won’t be at my office until five-ish to pick me up. I sent Mike out on a sandwich run with the assurance that I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got just enough time to slip out the door and hurry down the stairwell before I’m discovered.

  She plucked her sunglasses from the top of the dresser, fit a blue ball-cap over her hair, and wheeled the suitcase toward the door. At the sound of a key being fit in the lock, she screamed.

  “What? What is it?” Keys cried, bolting inside with murderous intent in his eyes.

  “Oh, jeez,” Mia said, pressing her palm to her chest. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears. “I thought you were Darion.”

  Keys skidded to a stop. “Well, I’m not. You gave me a key this morning, don’t forget. I brought some clothes over before I headed uptown to pick you up. Why are you here? What’s with the rock star getup?” he said, frowning. His gaze landed on the suitcase. “And why are you packed? Are you leaving?”

  His accusatory glare made her shrivel inside.

  “I, uh…” she stammered, removing her sunglasses. She tossed them on the rosewood table by the door. “I told you I’ve got to get far away. Darion is relentless. He’ll find me wherever I am.”

  “What, you’re going to turn into Jason Bourne and run for the rest of your life?” He reached for the suitcase and took it from her grasp. “You’re not going anywhere.”

  The delicious smell of Keys—shampoo and a hint of musky male—startled her senses.

  “You can’t decide that for me,” she said, placing her hand on the suitcase handle next to his. The contact sent a shock wave shooting up her spine.

  “Too late,” he said. “Already decided.”

  “Keys,” she said, tugging at the suitcase. “Give me my suitcase. I’ve got to get away from New York.”

  He turned to face her, his eyes radiating some kind of emotion that yanked her heartstrings. “Baby, please. I know I said some stupid shit this morning, but please, I’m begging you to stay.”

  A sudden stab of tears forced their way into her eyes. All-day, ever since she awoke, she’d been running scared. “You made it clear that the only real thing I have here is my job and Zander. And, you’ve also been telling me, he can deal. So, he can deal.”

  A muscle in his jaw ticked as he stared at her. “You can’t just leave me.”

  “Why not? Clearly, this is just a fling for you.” She flicked her fingers between them. “You’re ‘attracted’ to me. You ‘like’ me,” she said, adding air quotes. “But that’s it.”

  “I…I…” he began, then snapped his mouth shut.

  “What? What reason should I stay here?” Her hands flew to her hips.

  A long, dejected-sounding sigh left his lips. “At least let me explain.”

  A knock on the door interrupted the moment.

  Her nerves on high alert, Mia jerked.

  Keys hastened to open the door.

  Mike. Crap. Mia’s fingers fumbled with the hem of her shirt. A drop of sweat trickled down her neck.

  “And you are?” Keys said to the huge bodyguard.

  “I’m Mike, Mia’s security detail. I brought the sandwiches she requested.” He lifted a white paper sack from Thorne’s Deli.

  “Thank you, Mike. I appreciate it,” Mia said, rushing to take the sandwiches. She set the bag next to her sunglasses.

  “What kind of security detail runs off to buy sandwiches, leaving Mia’s door unprotected?” Keys said.

  “Who are you?” Mike said, not answering. A bright bloom of red heat colored his cheeks.

  “Keys Johnson,” Keys said. “But, I could have been an intruder. Anyone could have come in while you were off buying food.”

  “We have details at every door,” Mike said while taking in Keys’ appearance from top to bottom. “You don’t fit the description of the person we’re after.” His shrewd glance landed on the suitcase behind her. “What’s the suitcase about?”

  “It’s mine,” Keys said, gesturing to the silver and pink-accented suitcase in the middle of the floor. “I brought some clothes over to stay with her and keep her feeling safe. Thanks for the grub,” he said, shutting the door in Mike’s face. He turned to face Mia. “You little minx. You had this whole plan cooked up to leave. Fuck Keys. Fuck everyone. Just up and run.” His hands moved wildly as he spoke. The veins in his neck throbbed.

  His words slammed into her, causing her hands to shake. “Keys, I…I didn’t want to leave. I felt like I had to.”

  “Had to.” Keys scoffed. “Thanks for trusting me to keep you safe.”

  Mia stared at the foyer floor, tracing the lines of marble with her gaze.

  An awkward silence piled between them like a snowbank.

  “I’m so sorry,” she finally said. “It broke my heart to think of leaving.”

  His shoulders sagged. “Forget it. I’m sorry, I reacted. I understand. That’s what I want to talk to you about.” He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “And, for the record, I’d be crushed if you disappeared.” He lifted his head to pierce her with his jewel-like gaze. “Crushed.”

  “I understand,” she said, hope blooming in her heart like spring growth. “I’d have been crushed, too.”

  His eyes narrowed.

  Not the response I was hoping for. “So, please talk to me,” Mia said, wringing her hands together.

  “Can we sit down?” he said.

  “Fine,” she said, striding toward the sofa. She perched on the arm of her solstice blue velvet sofa. Then, she crossed her arms. “Talk to me. Give me a reason to stay.”

  Keys settled at the other end of the couch. “Can you at least look a little more comfortable? What I’ve got to tell you…it isn’t easy. I’ve been thinking about it ever since I screwed up band practice today. And with you sitting there, all defensive like that…” He swished his hand at her. “It makes me not want to say anything.”

  Surprised at his vulnerability, she uncrossed her arms and slid onto the couch. “Is that better?” she said softly.

  “Yes,” he said. Pain flashed in his eyes.

  She frowned. What does he need to say to me?

  Max jumped on the back of the sofa and padded toward Keys, where he proceeded to sniff his hair.

  “Hey, kitty. It’s just shampoo. No product, so you’re safe.” Keys scratched the top of Max’s head.

  Watching Keys talk to her cat softened her defensiveness even more. Mia let her arms relax by her sides.

  “I, uh…” A hard swallow bobbed in Keys’ throat. “I, uh…I know what it’s like to be abused. Sarah was abusive.”

  Mia’s lips parted. “I’m so sorry.�
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  “Don’t be. I’ve had enough sympathy and feeling sorry for me to last ten lifetimes.” A rueful smile appeared, quickly replaced by a frown. “Sarah was a bitch. She hit me if I didn’t do what she liked. She tore me apart if I went out with the band. Every damn thing I did was criticized.” His eyes looked haunted as he spoke. “Trevor was right that she nearly broke up the band. She challenged Dante all the time. She hated Trevor. And Gia…well, she and Gia used to get into shouting matches. Gia still drank back then, and she could get pretty ugly. But, I appreciated her standing up for me because I couldn’t do it.”

  Keys looked so young and vulnerable as he spoke, Mia wanted to comfort him. She longed to scoot closer, but she stayed put.

  “This shit is so fucked up. I was a wimp, you know? Telling you this makes me feel weak…not like the man I want you to see me as.” He lifted his hands, palms up, and then let them drop listlessly into his lap.

  His words wound straight into her heart. “You’re not weak, Keys. It takes courage to leave someone who is abusive. I should know. Keep talking. Tell me everything.”

  “I was scared. I walked around on eggshells, scared to make a move without Sarah’s permission. I had to sneak around to see my friends, to practice, even to tour.” He gritted his teeth. “Sarah was vicious.” His foot jiggled. “We broke up, oh, about sixteen times.” He glanced at Mia. “I’m probably exaggerating, but it seemed like a constant battle.” His hand squeezed the back of his neck. “And how fucked up is it that you can’t just leave, huh? I was with her for two and a half years. What kind of idiot stays with that abuse?” He jabbed his chest with his finger. “Me, that’s who. I’m the idiot who stayed. I couldn’t leave, you know? I tried. And when I did…when I finally did…”

  His foot moved faster, and he stared past Mia as if he were a million miles away.

  The words “you’re not an idiot,” lodged in Mia’s throat. But, she didn’t want to interrupt Keys’ confession.

  The room grew infinitely quiet, like the calm before the storm.

  Mia sat up straight, on the alert for whatever would happen next.

  “She…she…” Leaning over his knees, he hung his head in his hands. “I fucking can’t do this. I can’t tell you what happened. I’ve never told anyone. Oh, sure, the band knows. And her family knows. But, Dante paid a lot of money to keep the story on the D.L.”

  This time Mia did scoot closer, placing her hand on his thigh. “You can tell me, Keys. I won’t judge.”

  His head shook back and forth, still propped in his hands. Finally, he lifted his head and met her eyes with a look so raw it frightened her. “She killed herself, Mia. Gunshot to the head.” Lifting his hand to his skull, he mimicked shooting a gun.

  Mia’s hands cupped her mouth. “Oh, Keys,” she said into her palms.

  A giant crack split her world and her perception of Keys into a million pieces. This was so not what she thought he’d tell her. This wasn’t the party boy rock star who had a reputation as long as it was wide. Keys was as broken as her—maybe more so.

  “I was a suspect for a while. She stole a gun from my house. I used to mess around with target practice for fun. It was something to do. So, the police took me in for questioning. You know, makes sense, yeah? Abused boyfriend and famous rock star wants revenge.” He swept his hand in front of his face like painting a newspaper headline. “You’d have heard of the story had Dante not swept in with his lawyers and our media mogul and publicist, Joan. She can make a story disappear as if it never happened. That woman has a direct connection to God, I swear. But…” He cleared his throat. “All the charges were dropped when they found out I was in Barbados when she did the deed. I had the ticket, the photos of me on the beach, witnesses, everything. Sworn testimony that we had broken up a month previously. And, no, I didn’t give her the gun in case that’s what you were thinking.” Darkness seeped into his gaze.

  “No, Keys. That’s the furthest thing from my mind. I can only imagine how painful it was.”

  “Yeah, so…anyway, I get it. You and your abusive ex. Anyone can get caught up with an abuser. Good people get caught in the traps and the web of lies that the abuser weaves.” A deep sigh left his lungs. “That doesn’t help me past the shame, though. And then there’s the guilt over wanting to leave the band. Dante lost his ex to a drug overdose. Gia nearly died from alcoholism. And, Trevor…” A chuckle left Keys’ mouth. “He’s a closeted gay dude who refuses to even acknowledge the closet. You were right about that.”

  Mia softly smiled.

  Keys kept talking. “The band—we’ve been through a lot together. We’ve shored each other up and helped each other through some rough times. Trevor…he was my rock when I left Sarah. And, he was solid for me after she died. Him and Gia. They both kept me from going bat-shit crazy.”

  Mia nodded. Zander didn’t know any of the details of her relationship with Darion. But, he’d been the rock in her world, too.

  “And now I’m about to betray them all, just because I want to play something different. It makes me feel like a total shit to say, ‘fuck you, but I’ve got to play things my way for a while.’” He pursed his lips and blew out a lungful of breath.

  “I know. I can relate,” Mia said.

  “I know you can. We’re the great betrayers.” His eyes looked like chasms of sorrow.

  A long pause stretched between them as they gazed at one another.

  Mia tried to make sense of his confession, to come to grips with what he’d told her. At the moment, however, it seemed impossible to comprehend. All these crazy images of Sarah’s brains splattered all over the wall, and Keys being accused of murder collided with her own past. Darion breaking in, and her almost leaving Keys, and death and fear crashed about in her brain.

  Keys shook the silence, holding out his hand to her.

  She took it, savoring the warmth. Instantly, all the discord inside of her quieted.

  “Here’s the thing, woman. Damn, if it doesn’t feel right to be with you, Mia Song. And, it scares the shit out of me.” He squeezed her hand tightly, then brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “I haven’t been able to be in any kind of relationship since Sarah. No way will I let anyone in.” His expression grew soft as he studied her. “But, you’ve wormed your way right into my heart, and I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t ever want to hurt like that again.”

  “I’m not like Sarah. I could never hurt you the way she hurt you.”

  Keys’ eyes narrowed, and he released her hand as if it burned. “I don’t know that. I want to believe it, but I don’t know. What if you’re keeping your mean streak under wraps?”

  Mia’s determination to be seen flared to the surface. She sat forward and looked him squarely in the eyes. “You’ve known me for a while, Keys. Have you ever known me to be mean or to say unkind things about others?”

  He shook his head. “No. I think that’s one of the things that attracts me to you. You seem safe. But Sarah seemed safe when we first started dating. All the monsters came out after we started living together. And, by then, it was too late.”

  The thought of Sarah living in Keys’ funky, quirky, beautiful apartment caused Mia’s anger to spark to life. She didn’t deserve to live there. “So, she lived with you in your cool condo?”

  “Nah. There were too many reminders of me there. I had to sneak visits to my own house.” A bitter sounding laugh left his throat. “She insisted we live at her pristine apartment. That’s where she killed herself. I’d have had to burn my apartment if she did the deed there.” He shuddered. Again, he eyed her as if daring her to hurt him again.

  “Well, I can’t force you to believe me,” Mia said. “If you want to be with me, that’s a risk you’ll have to take.”

  One of his eyebrows arched. “Says the woman who was just about to leave the guy who promised to keep her safe.”

  Her cheeks grew unfathomably warm. “We both made mistakes. We’re both afraid to reveal our hearts.
”

  “Yeah,” he said. “We are.” His gaze transformed into something far less suspicious and infinitely more appealing.

  A swirl of heat shimmied in her belly as her eyes met Keys’ smoldering gaze.

  “I want to be with you,” he said. “I want to try. I want to open my heart and get stupid with you, becoming my own sappy love song.”

  Mia grinned. “I want that, too.” Her head cocked to the side. “You know…”

  “What do I know?” he said, pulling her into his lap.

  She straddled him and placed her hands on his shoulders.

  The welcome stirring of his erection pressed against her core.

  He slid his fingers inside her shirt and drew circles on the tops of her breasts.

  She hissed at the sensuous contact. “You already told me you loved me.”

  His fingers stilled, and he looked at her with a puzzled expression. “What are you talking about?”

  She swallowed, wondering if she should say anything. “Our last night in Cancun…”

  He squinted at her. “What about our last night in Cancun?”

  “You were pretty drunk.”

  “I know. I had the hangover to prove it. But, I remembered having a really good time.”

  “We did. And, then, you declared your undying love for me. You said…” She started to laugh. “‘Is it too much or too soon’ or something to that effect and then you said, ‘What if I said I glove you. Does that work?’”

  Keys’ mouth dropped open, and a strangled sound left his throat. “Glove. I kept wondering why that sounded familiar. I can be an idiot. Jesus, my idiocy knows no limits.”

  “Stop,” she said, placing her palm over his mouth. “You are not an idiot. You’re the most amazing, complicated, and talented man I’ve ever met. Here I thought you were just a pretty rock star and all this time you’ve been struggling to come to grips with a horrific situation. And, the ‘I glove you’ comment was sweet. I wanted so bad to believe you because I started to fall for you, too. That night, I knew I loved you.”