He placed the book on the table between the chairs. “I’m not saying I disagree with you, but isn’t that Eli’s choice to make?”
She started crying. Sam looked horrified, and she laughed even as the steady stream continued. “Don’t worry. It’s the babies. They like to play tricks on me in the emotional sense.”
Sam looked even more concerned but handed her a napkin and waited patiently for her to settle herself.
“Tabby, you love him. I would think having him here would be a dream come true. You two have seemed pretty cozy playing house.”
“That’s unfair,” Tabby hiccuped. “You know he’s only there because he feels protective of me. He doesn’t love me, Sam. He doesn’t love it here. It will eat him alive.”
“Are you sure?”
Tabby froze mid-blot. “About what?” she asked, refusing to meet his gaze.
“That he doesn’t love you.”
She shook her head. Harder and harder until she was sure her hair resembled an eighties slash band.
“Is that because you don’t believe he does or because you can’t believe he does?”
“Does it matter?” she whispered.
Sam stood and bent down and hugged her. “I think only you can answer that. Are you sure him leaving is the best course for him, or is it the best course for you? The Eli I’ve seen these past weeks is different. Less haunted and skittish. More involved with the family than I’ve ever seen.”
He left her staring out into the woods. Leave it to Eli’s twin to slice open her biggest fear. Because she no longer thought leaving was the best course for Eli. He’d been genuinely happy over the past month. She knew him well enough to notice the signs of his faking it. Mostly because they mimicked hers.
But if he stayed, was she strong enough to accept him? To have him in her life, in the babies’ lives, knowing that maybe, just maybe, he would leave one day? Or that the only reason she was succeeding as the head Brodie was because of him? Or that he would stay but didn’t love her? Would her love for him be enough for both of them?
She’d never thought herself a coward until recently, and it was a title that didn’t sit well on her shoulders. She’d always prided herself on communication, and it seemed it was time to sit Eli down and have everything out on the table. Brutal honesty included hopes, dreams, and fears. Words meant something, and she needed to hear the answers from him.
Only then would she know how to proceed.
Chapter Nineteen
Tabby had decided today at lunch they would have it out. No holds barred. She would ask the point-blank, hard-hitting questions and refuse to let him leave until he answered. The turning point of her future would be had right here, surrounded by beige walls and mounds of paper.
Of course, Eli actually had to be here for the plan to be enacted. She glanced at the time on her computer. Maybe he’d been held up at The Lodge or even with Mateo? Those two had grown thick as thieves over the past couple of weeks. Mateo had taken it upon himself to initiate Eli good and proper into Brodie Distillery.
Sounds downstairs had her staring at the doorway, but a moment later, Lydia popped her head in.
“Hey, wanna grab some lunch? I heard creamy tomato and gruyere grilled cheese is on the menu at Gooey’s.”
Lydia looked hopeful. The first time, in a while, her stepmother had reached out to her. And Tabby couldn’t remember a time she’d ever turned down Gooey’s on tomato soup day. It would be easy to say yes and put off today’s conversation, but that was the choice of a coward and would only extend her misery and uncertainty another night.
“Uggh, my favorite, but I can’t. I have a meeting.”
Lydia managed a smile and shrugged. “Maybe another time.”
“How about tonight we hit The Creamy Heifer for some ice cream?”
Lydia smoothed her hands down her hips. “Well, I shouldn’t, but.” She glanced up and beamed. “It’s a date.”
Her stepmother left, and Tabby at least knew if today went disastrous, she had an ice cream date to look forward to and a sympathetic shoulder to cry on.
Ten more minutes of no Eli and Tabby got up to find him. After a brief conversation with Mateo, who informed her he hadn’t seen Eli all morning, Tabby climbed into her truck and headed toward home.
She pulled up to the cabin to see Eli settling into his truck. He slid back out and came around to her window.
“Hey. I just sent you a text. I’m headed out to the park to shoot for a bit.”
Her throat closed up, but she managed a nod. “Have fun.”
He stared at her longer than she would have liked, and the best she could produce was a neutral face.
“You okay? Something happen?”
Yes. You happened.
She shook her head and opened the door, forcing him to step back. “Just grabbing a quick lunch between supplier calls.”
“Crap.” Eli glanced at his watch and truck. “I wanted to listen in.”
Tabby moved to the steps. “Don’t worry. There will be others. Go do your thing.”
“Ookaay.”
She smiled and waved him away and walked into the cabin, refusing to look back. She busied herself in the kitchen with various things needed to make a sandwich, although never actually assembling one, until she heard the retreating sound of his truck. Only then did she allow her entire body to deflate and slide down the refrigerator to the floor.
The beginning of the end.
That was what today signified. She’d known it would come. Despite his reassurances, despite his actions. She also believed it was the best choice, as his restless soul would never be complete here in the folds of his family and the companies. But somewhere along the way? When she’d made the decision to ride out whatever time she had with him, she’d fallen for it. Fallen for the dream she was temporarily being allowed to live. The decisions on the babies. The domesticity of sharing meals together. Of waking up in his arms. Of making future plans.
Hook. Line. Sinker.
She was a damn trout with a hook caught in its lip in the shape of Elijah Ellis.
Her phone rang, and she managed a glance in the general vicinity of it on the kitchen island. Whoever it was could wait. The house phone started in as soon as her cell ceased, but Tabby remained supporting the floor. She’d earned the few minutes of devastation. Because that’s all it could be. Life moved on, and she still carried her sister’s babies. She still had a business to run. All of that had existed before Eli Ellis had waltzed back into her life, and it would all still depend on her when he waltzed back out.
The answering machine picked up, and a husky woman’s voice filtered across the room, punching Tabby in the chest.
“Hi, Eli, it’s Sara. I was told I could reach you at this number. Time’s ticking on this story. Call me.”
Ten minutes and perhaps a half pint of Ben & Jerrys later, she pushed up off the floor, dusted off her jeans, and made her way back to her office. Tabitha Brodie was many things, but a wallower wasn’t one of them.
…
Eli slid his foot along the trail, trying to get a better angle on the mamma otter and her two kits. While not the most elusive species in the Smokies, they were one of the more fun and entertaining to shoot. Plus, with the kits coming out of dens for their first swims, it would make perfect shots both for the book he envisioned and the idea for the nursery that had sprung up that day shooting SCIM and Sala.
Thinking of Tabby, Eli ignored the hollow feeling settling in his stomach. She’d been off earlier. Hiding something. Only he didn’t think it was health related. He should have stayed, ferreted it out, made sure she was okay. But timing of both the weather and light had ensured he might miss these shots if he hadn’t gotten to the park, and since this project was an integral part of his future career, and subsequently Tabby, he’d done the next best thing he could. Ca
lled Becky and told her to check on Tabby.
One more shift and his finger slid along the lens, turning it and bringing the whiskers into focus. The familiar rush flooded his veins, knowing the shot was near.
Only it was different.
More pronounced with a heavier weight because not only was this for him, but this would be for Tabby. It lent a whole new perspective to his passion and vocation.
The mamma otter shoved the kits, and the whirl of Eli’s shutter followed. He held his breath as the little heads bobbed back up to the surface and searched for their mom, who sat on the bank wearing, he would swear, a smug expression. More shots as she joined them and the kits enjoyed the first taste of swimming freedom.
As he watched the young family entering a new phase of growth, his thoughts traveled back to Tabby. Would this be them months from now? Not literally pushing the twins into the river, but experiencing firsts with a mixture of pride and fear. Could they do it? Would they be enough for them, despite knowing Maisie and Isaiah would have been infinitely better?
No. He and Tabby would love these babies as if they were their own but never let them forget the people who they came from.
Low chuckling reached his ears, and he focused back in on the lens to see one of the kits on a rock, talking away to his sibling, who swam in a circle below. Eli caught the moment and a few others when a shrill whistle pierced the forest.
Cursing his rookie mistake in forgetting to silence his phone, he dug the stupid thing out of his pocket only to swear some more. It was the editor from the magazine. The one who thought no uttered fifty times meant try again. He swiped to silence the call. Glancing back at the river, the otters were gone and probably half the other wildlife in a two-mile radius. Pushing up off the ground, he brushed away most of the clinging dirt and leaves and headed back to his truck. At least the annoying woman hadn’t interrupted before he’d gotten his shots.
Reaching the truck, he fired off a quick text to Tabby to see where she was. Office was her reply. Just the one word and if he needed any more confirmation that something was wrong, that was it.
He dropped his camera into its bag and moved as fast as he could back out of the park and toward the distillery. They’d made so much progress in the past weeks, built a good foundation, and he would be damned if he let it slide because they couldn’t discuss any issues. Communication was something he wasn’t good at. But action, taking charge? That he could handle. So he would take charge just as he had by moving in and inserting himself into her world. He wouldn’t leave her office until she told him what had changed.
Tabby had taken ice queen to a whole new level, and she’d also managed a damn fine game of least in sight. Eli couldn’t pin her down and had no help with his family or hers. It was just as if the past weeks hadn’t occurred. Like they were friends who shared a simple link with the babies.
It sucked.
Punched him in the chest every time he thought he had a line on her, only to find it was a dead end. What would send a grown-ass man searching for a woman who clearly didn’t want to be found?
Love?
Eli shook his head, even as his heart went, “Duh.”
When did love become synonymous with Tabby? Sure, he cared for her. Wanted to help her and ease some of the weight on her shoulders. And, God knew, the sex was incredible. Eli knew he was better for her than any other man. He knew her fears, her family, her business, and most of all, her soul. But love?
He’d seen love in action between his parents, and Isaiah and Maisie. That goofy grin that slid across their faces when they met each other’s eyes. He didn’t grin. No goofy eyes when she was in the room.
The image of Tabby today standing in front of the mirror, small belly protruding from between underwear and bra, flashed in his mind.
The corners of his mouth kicked up, and he sighed.
Dammit. Who was he kidding? He was a goofy-ass-grinning-fool-in-love.
But what exactly did that mean?
…
Music blasted across her bedroom, and Tabby launched a pillow at the alarm clock. She was exhausted.
Holding firm and playing her ice queen role had drained what little energy the babies didn’t suck from her. Most of the time, it was easy to avoid Eli. A million-dollar company didn’t run itself, and even though he’d integrated himself pretty damn nicely into all aspects of her life, during the day she’d managed to evade.
Nights were a different beast. They were together, but she held the wall up. It was flimsy, and one puff from the big bad wolf would send it away, but it held against a wolf of a different sort.
He poked and prodded, appealed with those bedroom eyes and straying touches. But when her response consisted of nothing more than arched eyebrows or succinct answers, he would mask his hurt and try a different tactic.
It was killing her.
And him.
And it would end if only he would leave. She’d seen the signs. The camera attached to him twenty-four seven. The phone calls. The constant barrage of emails he sent.
But yet, every night he was there, sometimes with dinner, sometimes not, and always ready to listen and talk.
Rolling over in her bed, she spied a notecard propped up on her night stand, Eli’s distinctive handwriting scribbled across the ivory front. He must have snuck in. With as exhausting as the past days had been, it was no wonder she hadn’t heard him.
Sitting up, she grabbed the card, ignoring the shaking fingers holding onto it. Sliding it out of the flap, she reread it several times.
You and me. Tomorrow morning. Gatlin Falls.
No request. No flowery words. An order. If it had been full of the mushy stuff, she would have ignored it and not shown up. But this was classic Eli, which meant it was important. And it also might be exactly what they needed to put an end to the ice queen charade.
Chapter Twenty
Walking through an amusement park before opening was a special kind of peace. Tabby had been to Gatlin Falls growing up and through most of her adult years, and yet only one other time had she been lucky enough to be there before the crowds.
Eli walked beside her, humming, his camera slung over one shoulder. Workers watered plants, sprayed and cleaned walkways and benches. In the distance, she could hear two of the seven coasters going through morning testing. In several hours, screams would overshadow the rumble of the wood or metal.
“Guess it will be a while before I dangle on Eagles Nest again?”
“Imagine so,” Eli answered. “Although just think,” he pointed to her stomach, “you can take them on their first ride.”
Tabby rubbed her stomach, the swell more than obvious in the tunic tank she wore. She shouldn’t think about her and Eli sharing the ride together with the twins. Maybe he would be here or maybe he wouldn’t. How would she manage that, both children wanting to ride? Well, there were more than enough family members to go around.
Panic edged in. Would she always be outnumbered at home? Bed times, feedings, always her against the two of them?
“Hold still.”
Tabby glanced up to see Eli lining up a shot. “I’m not an animal.”
His lips thinned, and he placed the camera to his eye, ignoring her outstretched hand.
“Tabby, the quicker you let me do this, the quicker it will be over.”
“Gee, big brother, is that what you say to all the girls?”
Tabby choked on her laugh as Caleb clapped an irritated Eli on the back.
“What are you doing here?”
Caleb bussed Tabby on the cheek and slung an arm around her shoulder. Eli growled.
“I’m here, big brother, because unlike you, I have a job to do.”
Tabby’s smile dissolved. Eli turned away and stalked toward the hill, leading to the back of the park.
Caleb dropped his arm and angled Tabb
y to face him, forcing her gaze from the pavement.
“What invisible pile of horse manure did I just step in?”
It wasn’t her place. She wasn’t even sure she could accurately convey to someone who didn’t share the connection Eli and she did.
“Tabby?”
She sighed and met Caleb’s concerned gaze. “I’m not sure it’s my place or even if I really know what the problem is. Maybe you should talk to Eli.”
Caleb glanced toward Eli’s retreating figure. “I’ll do that, but I’m guessing now’s not the time.” He pulled her in close. “Go soothe the beast and I’ll beard him later.”
He saluted and headed toward the area housing some of the families’ Percherons. Tabby chased after Eli.
She found him in front of the small white church. The same church she’d buried everyone at. The same church that had held weddings for the Ellises and, prior to that, the Tates, Eli’s mom’s family. It still held a church service on Sundays for park visitors.
The single tall steeple rose up through a canopy of trees, splashes of clear blue sky highlighting the pristine white of the paint. The double oak doors stood open as visitors could walk through and rest in one of the pews.
“You and Caleb have a nice chat?”
Tabby stepped up beside him. “I kicked his ass for you and sent him on his merry way.”
Eli remained silent but reached for her hand and squeezed. The heat she’d always associated with having him near roared through her fingers, racing up her arm and hitting her chest at breakneck speed. How, oh how, am I going to be able to say good-bye to you this time?
“Do you want to go in?”
She glanced at him, but his gaze remained focused on the opened doors and beyond, the aisle leading to the simple wooden altar at the end.
She nodded, knowing he would see it or feel it or perhaps both. Together they climbed the four wooden steps and entered the hushed, cool interior. Step by step, they walked down the aisle toward the end. The place where she’d stood and talked about her future and love and loss. Each step grew heavier, her throat closing. Her sister had marched down this aisle, meeting the love of her life at the end. Eli’s parents had also pledged their love and support to one another here, and here she was hand in hand with the one man she desperately wanted to pledge her life to and absolutely shouldn’t.
His Reason to Stay Page 15
