The Man I Thought I Loved (Two-Faced Book 2)

by E. L. Todd

  I shook my head. “No one is going to care about a company more than someone whose name is on the door. The best way to invest long-term success is to have someone who sees it as a legacy, sees that it’s more than just money. So, no, I intend to keep it in the family as long as possible.”

  “And if neither you nor your sister has descendants?”

  “She’ll definitely have kids. Her dream is to be a mother.”

  “And is your dream to be a father?”

  I studied her face, wondering if she was asking these questions for her article or for personal reasons. “Dream is too strong of a word. I’m open to the idea. When I was married, I always assumed we would have children. But now, I can’t picture myself getting remarried, so I’m not sure how that would work.”

  She nodded but didn’t make a note.

  “What about you?”

  She regarded me, an eyebrow slightly raised. “Meaning?”

  “Do you want a family someday?” She used to be so closed off from me that I couldn’t get a word out of her, but now that we were friends and her attitude was different, I could actually get to know her in a way I couldn’t before. It was ironic that she was more giving after I betrayed her, but not before. My lies pushed her away, but once we weren’t involved, she didn’t see me as a threat anymore…so she shared her life with me.

  “Not really. With my job, it’s just not feasible. I’m put on assignments with twenty-four hours’ notice, and then I’m gone for an extended period of time. Not sure what kind of life I could provide to a little person in that scenario.”

  “Well, there’d be a man in the picture, right?”

  She shrugged. “If I were going to do the whole mom thing, I’d want to do it, you know? Not push it on my partner. But my sister will have kids, so I don’t need to worry about it. Besides, being a fun aunt is way better than being a mom.”

  In the limited time I’d known her, it was obvious how passionate she was about her work. She took it seriously, like it was a calling rather than just a paycheck. “When did you know you wanted to be a journalist?”

  “I’ve always known.”

  “Really?”

  “Oh yeah. When I was in high school, I was the editor of my paper for four years in a row. When I graduated, it was at a time when newspapers were losing revenue and income as a writer was less realistic, but that didn’t change my decision to pursue it. I knew I’d have to work even harder to get the job I wanted. But now I have it. Sure, ten years ago, I would be making twice as much, but that’s just how it goes.”

  “What is it about the job that you’re so passionate about?”

  She considered the question for a long time.

  “What would make you put your life on the line in Iraq? What would make you chase down a criminal in an alleyway?”

  Her gaze turned back to me. “The truth.”

  I watched her eyes soften with sincerity.

  “Preserving the truth of the world. Tell people what’s really happening. Documenting it for generations to come. If I weren’t sent to Iraq, all our information for that story would have come from other sources, which makes it biased. If you really want to get to the core of a situation, you need to witness it yourself. I know I’m not a doctor or a firefighter, but I think my job is pretty important. The media has the ability to completely dictate our way of life. It’s pretty important…at least, I think so.”

  “It is important. It must be if you think your life is worth it.”

  She shrugged. “We’re all gonna die sometime, right? Personally, I’d rather die young than when I’m old with some disease or inability to remember who I am.”

  “There’s a lot of years in between that, though. The golden years can be a wonderful time…before the end.”

  “Maybe,” she said noncommittally. “Enough about me.”

  “You’re far more interesting than I am.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m not some sexy billionaire with the world at his feet…”

  “That’s not interesting. Boring, if you ask me.”

  She released a laugh. “If you’re bored with a life in the fast lane, you’re doing it wrong.”

  “Grass is always greener on the other side…” I’d been living this life a long time, and the older I became, the less it meant to me. I’d always been financially secure, while everyone else was out hustling for a better life, investing their time and energy into that dream. But since I was already there, I realized the things that really brought joy weren’t tangible like money. Instead, it was conversations, connections, people. Spending time with Carson and her friends gave me a kind of simplicity that I found exhilarating. It was peaceful…easy. I wished I could have it again. “What else are you working on right now?”

  “Just a few smaller pieces. You can’t hit a home run every single time.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “You think I could get some photos that would reflect the family values of the company? Perhaps your childhood home? Something like that?”

  “I grew up in the city, but we had a house in Connecticut where we spent a lot of time.”

  “Did you sell it when your parents passed?”

  “Actually, no. It’s still there. I just haven’t visited in a long time.” I felt ashamed to go back, not after the way I’d dishonored the family name.

  “Well, is that something you’re open to?”

  I could have said no, but I didn’t want to decline an opportunity to spend time with her. The world went still whenever we were together. Despite the disastrous way we ended, it felt like things were better now than they used to be. “Yes.”

  “Great. We’ll take a drive. Maybe your sister can come along. I should interview her too.”

  “Not a bad idea.”

  She held her pen and scribbled notes into the notebook before she grabbed the recorder and turned it off.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.” She hooked the recorder on to the necklace around her throat before she closed her notebook.

  “When did your parents pass away?” I felt like I could ask her anything I wanted, and instead of wanting to know less now that we weren’t together, I wanted to know more.

  “Pretty young. Denise and I had just become adults.”

  My father’s death was still relatively recent, so it hurt all the time. “May I ask how they passed?”

  She sighed. “Drunk driver.”

  “Wow…I’m sorry.”

  “Well, don’t be too sorry because they were the drunk ones. They went to a party and had been drinking. Instead of calling for a ride or even calling me, they drove home and slammed into a telephone pole. Died on impact.”

  “Oh fuck.” Now I felt terrible for asking, for putting her on the spot to share that with me.

  “Yeah…it was rough. The telephone pole was new, and the road they took was a road they’d traveled on many times. But it was dark, and they probably didn’t expect it to be there. It’s just…yeah.” She took a deep breath and let everything come out slowly. “No one else was hurt, thankfully.”

  I had no idea what to say to that, how to respond to such a traumatic event. Some might say it was her parents’ own fault for choosing to drive under the influence, but that would be a cold way to put it. Carson and Denise were the victims of the whole thing, losing their parents in such a devastating manner. “I’m so sorry, Carson.”

  “Yeah…thanks.” She gave a weak smile before she stood up. “I’ve got my sister, so I’m grateful for that.”

  “She looks nothing like you, but she’s got your spirit.”

  She chuckled. “Nah, she’s too sweet. She’s like a sunflower, and I’m a rose covered in thorns. I can totally see why Charlie is hung up on her and calls me a hot mess all the time.”

  “Thorns can be trimmed…if you put the time in.”

  “But you’re going to cut your hand in the process.”

  I rose to my feet, still taller than her despi
te her pumps. I smoothed out my tie and looked into her gorgeous face, finding her even more beautiful when she let herself be vulnerable for a rare moment. “Still worth it in the end.”

  I got to the restaurant first and ordered a glass of wine.

  My sister hated it when I drank scotch. She argued it would kill my liver before I turned thirty-five.

  But who needs a liver anyway?

  I sat alone and waited, bringing the glass to my lips over and over, waiting for my sister to show up with the first man she’d ever wanted to introduce me to. The fact that it was his idea already made me like him. If he was pressing for the introduction, then he wanted to be serious, and that was all I needed to know.

  I felt a hot stare on my face and shifted my gaze to the origin.

  A woman sat at a table with a friend, and she held the stem of her glass as she gave me a slow smile. The eye contact was intentional, slightly playful.

  I didn’t let my gaze linger and quickly averted it.

  I just wasn’t in that place quite yet. I was a man with needs, but knowing Carson, she’d probably already hit up Boy Toy #1. Being around her only made it more difficult, because she was the person I wanted to undress, to kiss, to fuck. Knowing her on a deeper level made me want her more.

  But there was nothing I could do about that.

  I couldn’t pursue her. I couldn’t ask for more. I couldn’t do anything to get her back.

  She didn’t want me, and even if she did, she wouldn’t change her mind.

  I had to get back on the horse at some point. Otherwise, my dick would explode.

  But not now.

  I saw Renee walk inside, a tall man behind her. He had dark-blond hair, a height that rivaled mine, and his blue eyes gave him a harmless look. When he gave the hostess a smile, he had a dimple in each cheek. It was a nice restaurant, so he wore a sport coat over his dark jeans. Renee was in a dark blue dress with her hair pulled back slightly, a few loose strands around her face.

  Renee spotted me and approached the table. “Good. You ordered wine.”

  “I’m on my best behavior for you.” I got to my feet, and even though we didn’t greet each other with affection at the office or when she came by my place, I hugged her with one arm and rubbed her back.

  “That makes me less nervous about this whole thing.”

  Her guy faced me and extended his hand, that genuine smile still there. “William.”

  I took his hand and gave it a firm shake. “Dax.”

  “It’s great to meet you.” He had a deep voice, with confidence in his gaze, but not arrogance.

  I already liked the guy. “You too.”

  He pulled out the chair for my sister before he took the seat beside her.

  My eyes were on him for a while, seeing the way he grabbed the wine list and scanned through the selection. “What are you drinking, Dax?”

  “The 1994 LeMur.”

  “Wine connoisseur?”

  “No expert, but I don’t drink piss.”

  He chuckled. “I’ll trust your decision. What about you, baby?”

  She stilled at the affectionate name he threw across the table. “My brother picks out great wine, so I’ll do the same.”

  I liked that he didn’t change his behavior around me, that he wasn’t being fake, that I could accept him as he was or dislike him for the same reason. It didn’t matter to him. I’d never told Renee this, but I didn’t want her to be with a man who bent over backward to gain the validation of someone else. He was secure in his true form.

  When the waitress came over, they ordered their wine, and I got an appetizer because I was starving. It was a late dinner, and I hadn’t had time to eat much for lunch.

  Renee looked at her menu again. “I don’t know what I’m getting…”

  William eyed the menu. “The salmon looks good.”

  “That’s what I’m having,” I offered.

  “Then it’s settled.” He set the menu down. “What about you? I know you hate fish.”

  “I think I’m getting the steak.”

  He smiled slightly, like he was amused by her choice.

  When the waitress brought the drinks, she took our orders then left.

  William took a sip. “Definitely a good choice.”

  Renee eyed us back and forth, clearly uncomfortable by the whole thing, like I’d challenge him to a duel or something. She was normally calm and collected, never uncomfortable even in the direst situations, but this was important to her, like she needed my approval even though she claimed she didn’t.

  I turned to William. “Baseball or basketball?”

  “Basketball,” he said immediately. “But I’ll watch a game of baseball if it’s on.”

  “I play in a basketball league with some friends. If you ever want to join, let me know.”

  “Wow, thanks for the invite. I’d love to pop in sometimes. My routine is the same every morning, and it gets old.”

  Renee eyed me with a raised eyebrow.

  “That’s exactly why I do it. Lifting weights to music is repetitive.”

  “I used to be runner, but that got too boring,” he said with a chuckle.

  “Competitively or as a hobby?”

  “Competitively in college, but it became a hobby later. But it requires so much time to really put in the miles. It’s much quicker to pump out a workout with weights.”

  “Definitely,” I said. “When I was—”

  “What is happening here?” Renee eyed me suspiciously.

  My gaze turned back to her. “Meaning?”

  “You aren’t going to ask him where he went to college? What he does for a living? You’re really going to talk about sports?” Renee spoke her mind in front of William, like it was eating her alive.

  William smiled again before he took a drink of his wine, like her outburst was funny to him. “She’s been anxious about this dinner all week…”

  “Do you want me to interrogate him?” I asked incredulously.

  “You’re just…being weird.” She lowered her voice as if William wouldn’t be able to hear her even though he was right beside her.

  “Renee, I don’t give a shit where he went to college or what he does for a living. All I care about is the way he feels about you. If he’s good to you and does right by you, that’s all that matters to me. So, let me get to know him.”

  She dropped her gaze, like she was embarrassed by her outburst.

  His arm moved around her shoulders, and he gave her a gentle squeeze. “She’s just worried because she’s crazy about me.” He grinned as he looked at her, his hand rising to her hair and gently brushing it from her face. “Obsessed with me, really.”

  “Oh, shut up.” She hit him playfully. “Am not.”

  “Sure, baby.” He pulled his hand away. “Whatever you say…” His eyes lingered on her for a few seconds before he looked at me again, and those few seconds told me everything I needed to know about him.

  He was the one crazy about her.

  Renee excused herself to the bathroom after dinner.

  I watched her walk away before I turned back to him. “I’m not sure what she told you about me, but I’m not some crazy psychopath.”

  He was about to drink from his glass but stopped because he couldn’t control the laugh that came from his lips. “She didn’t say anything like that.”

  “It seems like it.”

  “We’ve been seeing each other for a while, and I suggested we all get together. She’s met my parents.”

  “Really?” She didn’t mention that to me.

  “Yes. But trust me, she resisted. Of course, they loved her. Come on, why wouldn’t they?” He drank from his glass. “But every time I suggested the two of us getting together, she kept sidestepping it, avoiding it, making excuses…”

  I shook my head in disappointment.

  “Look, I’m gonna be straight with you, man.” He set his glass down. “I want this to go somewhere. I don’t introduce just anyone to my par
ents. I did it pretty early on because I just knew. You know what I mean?”

  Carson popped into my head. “Yeah, I do.”

  “So, I kinda pressured her into it. I think that’s why she’s so uneasy about the whole thing.”

  “Maybe she’s not as serious about the relationship as you are.” Maybe she wasn’t ready for this. Maybe he forced their relationship to move too fast…just the way I did with Carson.

  “No,” he said with a chuckle. “Trust me, she’s crazy about me. The problem is…she thinks so highly of you that she would be devastated if we didn’t get along. You’re all she has in the world. It makes sense.”

  My reaction didn’t change, but I felt my heart soften inside my chest, felt the affection for my little sister grow. We were close, but not super close. We didn’t actively spend time together outside the office, but it did feel like a parent-child relationship, where we were close but never quite friends. I looked a lot like our father, and I wondered if that was the way she saw me, as the man in her life outside her romantic relationship.

  “I told her not to worry about it, but you know, she likes to worry…”

  I didn’t know this had been eating at her for so long.

  “There’s no reason to dislike me, and if you did, in time, you would come around. But that didn’t ease her mind.”

  “Well, she should feel better now.”

  “We’ll see,” he said with a chuckle.

  “Tell me more about yourself.”

  “Now you’re going to interrogate me?” he asked with a smile.

  “Share whatever you want to share with me.”

  “Let’s see…” He swirled his glass before he took a drink. “I’ve got one brother. He lives in the city, and I’d say he’s my closest friend. I’m close with my parents. Sorta have a helicopter kind of mom…if you know what I mean. So obviously, I wanted her to approve of Renee, but I wasn’t worried she wouldn’t. Wouldn’t care if she didn’t either.”

  I really liked this guy. Didn’t take himself too seriously, he was easy to talk to, and he spoke highly about my sister in any context in which he described her.

  “I’m a physician.”

  “What kind?”

  “Cardiologist.”