A Love Worth Saving

by Amanda Canham

  She shuffled forward again and, untucking the bottle of bubbly from under her arm, she placed it on the counter. As her finger moved to the exit button, she was about to lock her phone when two new stories popped up. Unable to resist the temptation, she clicked on the link and her news feed scrolled to the top again.

  The first item was a friend’s comment on a video clip link. Seriously? How could that possibly be considered news? She really should just quit Facebook. She would have so much spare time if she did. Though more spare time wasn’t exactly what she needed.

  Still, despite her annoyance with the social networking site, she couldn’t help but scroll down to the next item. It was from Cam Lewis, her brother’s best friend. Cam had been brother number two to her growing up and Ana had become fast friends with his new partner, Stacey, over the last year. The fact Cam had posted something was unusual in itself because Cam never posted on Facebook. She clicked the miniscule photo open and rotated her phone for a better view.

  ‘Aarghh!’ she screamed in delight, bouncing up and down, not noticing the attention she was attracting as she stared at the photo.

  It was Cam and Stacey and two teeny tiny bubs. Their babies! Stacey must have had them tonight! She’d been so big for months Ana had been expecting her to pop every time she saw her.

  And now she had!

  Pulling the phone even closer to her eyes, Ana started zooming the photo in, examining each of the babies in close detail. One had a shock of thick, dark hair, and the other was completely bald. Looking at the photo, it was hard to believe the babies were related, let alone twins. Although…hmm…their faces were all squished up in the same way, their noses so cute and stubby, their tiny bow-shaped mouths dark mauve like their daddy’s. Zooming out again, Ana looked at the photo as a whole.

  Hot damn, they made a gorgeous little family!

  Stacey looked a little sweaty, a little weary, but it was barely noticeable, overpowered by the luminous glow surrounding her. Cam looked pretty pleased with himself too.

  ‘Just the wine?’

  Ana looked up from her phone and realised it was already her turn to be served.

  ‘Yes, thanks, just on my card,’ she answered, pulling her card from its nifty little slot in her phone case and sliding it into the EFTPOS machine when the tired-looking checkout girl gave her the go-ahead.

  Once the payment went through, Ana grabbed the bag containing the bottle and scooted from the store to her car. Unable to help herself, Ana grabbed her phone and flicked through Facebook until she found the photo again. Those babies were just so gorgeous, she could eat them both up.

  In fact…Ana glanced at the digits on her car clock. She might have time for a quick visit. She’d told Gabby she’d be at hers by seven-thirty, and it was already seven-twenty-five. But they were just having a few drinks and nibbles with Cara, the third cog in their high school friendship wheel. Cara and Ana were potentially going out clubbing afterwards (Gabby, having recently settled down with the Love of her Life, had semi-retired from the nightclub scene), but still…another half hour wouldn’t make much difference. Cara and Gabby were used to her being late, anyway.

  She glanced back at the photo. Yep, those gorgeous little cherubs definitely needed cuddles from their almost-Aunty Ana.

  Sending a quick text to Gabby to let her know she’d be late, Ana put the car into drive and headed to the hospital.

  Ten minutes later she walked into the maternity ward at St Mary’s, a small bouquet of yellow gerberas—the only flowers at the petrol station—in her arms. She’d have to order a nicer bunch tomorrow, but these would do for her impromptu visit. Pausing at the nurse’s station, Ana asked for instructions to Stacey’s room.

  As she walked down the hushed corridor, quiet conversation drifted out of the rooms, occasionally interrupted by the faint cry of a baby. Sound seemed muted on this ward, like it was absorbed by the plush blue carpet beneath her feet. Perhaps the fetching pale blue paint had secret sound-muffling capability. The ward smelt of baby milk, and baby powder, and enough baby essence to make the most career-oriented woman clucky.

  Finally Ana reached Stacey’s private room. The door was open and she stepped through, a wide smile on her face. She raised her hand, preparing to rap her knuckles on the door jamb to grab their attention, when she realised the new family wasn’t alone.

  Her breath caught in her throat as she watched the other visitor bend down and pick the swaddled baby out of Stacey’s arms. He leaned forwards, dirty-blond hair falling either side of the baby’s head as he lay a gentle kiss on its forehead. When he pulled back she could see a tell-tale glint sparkling in his eye.

  Brad.

  Her Brad.

  No, not her Brad. Not anymore.

  Though, to be honest, he’d never been her Brad. Not for more than a night, anyway.

  His jeans hugged his backside in all the right places. A dark sweater clung to his shoulders, outlining the firm, toned muscles she knew lay beneath. Combined with his high cheekbones, his chiselled jaw and the most kissable lips she’d ever come across, it wasn’t surprising her insides were melting at the sight of him. It was galling, yes, but not surprising.

  It wasn’t just his looks melting her heart tonight, though. It was the way he stared down at the baby in his arms, so totally consumed by the tiny person he clearly already adored.

  Why did he always have to be so perfect?

  A long time ago—a lifetime, really—she used to dream of a moment like this. Of watching him cuddle a newborn, running a loving finger down its face like he couldn’t believe it was really there. He’d pry the little hand loose from the warming blanket and count the baby’s fingers, just like he was now, to make sure they were all there.

  Except in her dream the child was theirs.

  But that was when she’d been young and naïve and had thought they were meant to be. Back then, she’d thought one day they’d fall in love, get married and have a child together.

  She knew better now.

  Pushing aside her old memories, Ana stretched a wide smile across her face. This was a happy moment for Cam and Stacey. She was here to share the happiness with them, not bring everyone down under the weight of what could have been.

  ***

  ‘Hiya!’

  Brad almost jumped at the greeting, his arms automatically gripping tighter around little Laura as the rest of his body stiffened. He knew that voice. He’d know it anywhere.

  Whipping around with the baby clutched to his chest, his eyes found Ana’s as she hovered in the doorway. Her dark brown, almond-shaped eyes were wider than usual, forcefully cheerful, the way they got when she was trying to hide from something painful.

  What was she doing here?

  If he’d had his wits about him, her reason for visiting a new mother in the maternity ward with a bouquet of flowers would be rather obvious. But he was too stunned by her unexpected appearance to process thoughts properly.

  Neither Cam nor Stacey had mentioned she was coming. He’d have been prepared if they had. Instead, all he could do was stand there, drinking in the sight of her like a dying man in a desert.

  She was gorgeous!

  Her slight form was encased in tight, glossy black pants, a black leather jacket framing the slinky, silver top that showcased her assets. Her short, dyed-black hair was silky smooth, falling lightly against her heavily made-up face.

  In those clothes, with that amount of makeup on, she must have plans to go clubbing later. Brad’s stomach twisted at the thought of her out, chatting to other men, dancing with them, pressing her luscious lips against theirs.

  After ten years of practice, the thought of her with someone else shouldn’t hurt so much. Yet somehow it always did.

  ‘Sorry for showing up unannounced, but I just couldn’t help myself.’

  Brad could hear the delight in her voice. It was the same way he’d felt when Cam told him the news. The desire to share this joy with her was almost painful. In another life th
is might have been them.

  Where had that thought come from?

  It must be the shock of seeing her. It always sent him for a spin.

  ‘Don’t be sorry,’ Stacey exclaimed, waving Ana in. ‘I’m not. I’m stoked! Come in and meet Aidan and Laura.’

  ‘Oh, yay! This is so exciting. Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations!’ Ana practically flew across the room, enveloping the new mother in a warm, tight embrace before handing her the bouquet of bright yellow flowers. ‘These are for you.’

  ‘They’re lovely, Ana. Thank you,’ Stacey sniffed the flowers before laying them on the hospital tray next to the identical bouquet Brad had brought with him from the petrol station on the corner. Without a doubt the same petrol station Ana had stopped by for her impromptu gift.

  The shock and horror that flitted across Ana’s face was almost comical. If he hadn’t been so tense inside he would have laughed.

  ‘Like minds and all that,’ he said instead with a tight smile, catching her eye.

  ‘Yeah, something like that,’ she answered, her smile dropping for an instant until she turned away from him, returning to megawatt status when she looked at Cam.

  ‘So, who is this little cherub?’ Ana asked, moving closer to his brother.

  ‘This little baldy is Aidan,’ Cam twisted his son around so he was facing Ana. ‘Aidan, meet your Aunty Ana.’

  ‘Aren’t you just the most handsome little prince I ever did see,’ she coochi-cooed at the baby. ‘That’s it little Aidan, come to Aunty Ana,’ she continued in the high pitched baby voice everyone seemed to use when talking to newborns.

  Reaching forward, she slid her slender fingers around the tiny bundle and pressed him tight against her chest, sinking her head in close, her eyes closed as though she was absorbing his essence into her.

  ‘Oh, you are just gorgeous, little man,’ she told his nephew. Pulling her head free she settled him in the crook of her arm, the fingers of her other hand gently tracing patterns along his skin. ‘You are just too perfect. Now, who do you look like?’ she swung her gaze around, pointing first to Cam. ‘Do you look like your daddy? Or your mummy?’ she continued tilting the baby around until he faced Stacey.

  ‘Hmm…’ her gaze shifted from the baby to his parents and back again. ‘Your mummy, I think. But you definitely have the Lewis lips,’ she tapped a gentle finger against the baby’s cupid pout.

  Cam and Stacey laughed, breaking the spell Brad had been caught in as he watched Ana play with his nephew.

  ‘Lewis lips, hey?’ Cam reached up and touched his own before turning laughing eyes on his brother. ‘Let’s just hope they see less action than yours, Brad.’

  ‘Cam,’ Stacey gasped, a hand slamming to her mouth, her eyes torn between reproach and laughter.

  It wasn’t unusual for Cam to joke about Brad’s sex life. And to be fair, it was somewhat deserved. He had spent most of the last ten years flitting from short-term flings to one night stands, rarely staying with a woman long enough to introduce her to the family. Normally he didn’t mind a bit of good-natured ribbing.

  But not in front of Ana.

  It wasn’t Cam’s fault. He knew nothing about their late night liaisons. No one in either of their families did.

  Studiously avoiding Ana’s gaze, Brad forced a laugh. ‘Yeah, good one, bro. You’re really extending your wit with that one.’

  ‘What? Don’t tell me you’re all sensitive now.?’

  ‘Of course not, but with that little display, I think I might be able to write up a journal article on you for the next issue of Amazing Medical Discoveries.’

  ‘And why’s that?’ Cam asked, the smirk still resting on his face. Brad could see the anticipation in his eyes. They’d played this game of one-upmanship all their lives, both enjoying the challenge.

  ‘You seem to be suffering from the first ever case of male baby-brain.’

  This time Stacey didn’t suppress her laughter, Cam joining her as they shook with amusement. Even Ana let a little giggle escape, shaking her head at the baby.

  ‘Now that was a good one,’ she told Aidan.

  ‘Yeah, alright, that was a good one,’ Cam conceded, tipping a pretend cap to Brad. ‘You win this round.’

  ‘Can you hear your daddy and your uncle carrying on? You’re not going to be that silly, are you? No you’re not, because you have a sister. And she’s going to keep you in line, isn’t she?’ Ana asked Aidan as she started moving around the bed towards Brad.

  ‘We do have a sister,’ Brad reminded her as she approached them, making a conscious effort to keep his breathing at a normal rate.

  ‘Well, she didn’t do a very good job of keeping you two in line. Laura will do a much better job, won’t you Laura?’ she bobbed her head down so she was eye to eye with the baby.

  Breathe in, breathe out.

  That was easier said than done, but somehow Brad managed it.

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Aunty Ana,’ he said, putting on a high-pitched voice and pretending to answer as his niece. ‘I think my uncle is awesome.’

  Letting out a little giggle, Ana shook her head in mock-despair. ‘Oh, my dear Laura, you have so much to learn. Lucky Aunty Ana will be here to help you,’ she assured the baby as she reached out a hand and brushed a finger against Laura’s cheek.

  ‘Hello Laura,’ she whispered, dropping the joke and leaning in close to the baby. ‘It’s very nice to meet you.’

  It was torture, standing this close to Ana and not touching her. He needed the contact like he needed air to breathe. Manoeuvring himself closer he let his hand hover at the base of her spine, but stopped just short of making that final contact.

  Ana shifted backwards, ever so slightly, but enough so his hand now rested on her back. A kind of peace settled over him, a level of comfort that soothed his soul. Being with her, touching her, connecting with her, was the only time he felt any sort of normal. Ana’s eyes flickered to his, the public wall down and he knew she felt it too.

  It would be so easy to slide his arm around her waist, to draw her within his embrace. But he wouldn’t. They both knew they couldn’t.

  ‘They’re gorgeous, aren’t they?’ she whispered, the words just for him.

  He could only nod, his heightened emotions making it difficult to speak.

  Just for a minute he glimpsed the future they could have had. If his past hadn’t fucked him up so much.

  A bright light flashed across the room.

  ‘Oh, wow, that’s gorgeous, don’t you think, Cam?’ Stacey said.

  ‘Yeah, but we have to get one of them looking up.’

  ‘Definitely. Okay, you two. You heard Cam. I need one of the two of you looking up,’ Stacey ordered.

  Brad pulled his gaze away from Ana and looked towards the light source. Stacey was sitting up in bed, her face animated as she looked at the screen on her phone.

  ‘They’re here! I can’t believe they’re here!’

  Brad had never been so pleased to hear the high-pitched squeal of his niece Kaidee. He was saved by the six year old.

  Handing the baby in his arms to Cam, he spun around to greet his sister and niece.

  Kaidee raced into his waiting arms, twin braids flying, and almost toppled him onto the floor with her force. He squeezed her tight, just the remedy he needed in that instant.

  ‘Have I really got new cousins?’ she demanded, pulling far enough away so she could look him straight in the eye, giving him her fiercest you-better-not-lie-to-me look.

  ‘Yes. Two. They’re just here, sweetheart,’ he said, scooping her up and taking her to the others.

  A gentle hand rubbed the small of his back and he turned to see his older sister, Natalie, standing beside him. She pushed up onto her tip toes and brushed a gentle kiss against his cheek. ‘What’s she doing here?’ she whispered, her eyes slanting to Ana briefly.

  ‘Visiting,’ he responded, keeping his answer brief.

  Natalie’s frown dee
pened, but before she could say anything else, her daughter cut her off.

  ‘They’re so small. And they’re pretty ugly. I thought babies were cute,’ Kaidee said, causing the adults around her to laugh.

  ‘Well, all newbies look like this. They need a bit of time to grow into their skin,’ Brad informed her.

  ‘It does look all saggy. Which one is the girl?’

  ‘This one,’ Cam answered, holding the dark-haired baby up in his arms. ‘Her name is Laura. Do you want to hold her?’

  ‘Can I?’ her little face positively lit up, her gaze automatically swinging to her mother’s to ask permission.

  ‘Of course, but you need to sit up next to Stacey, and you have to be very careful. Babies are fragile.’

  ‘Yes, Mum,’ Kaidee said with an exaggerated sigh, making the adults laugh again. His sweet little Kaidee was growing up so fast. He didn’t know where the time had gone.

  Stacey shuffled over in the bed and Brad lowered Kaidee in beside her, placing a pillow beneath her arms before helping Cam settle the baby in Kaidee’s embrace. Natalie pulled her phone out and started snapping away her own swathe of pictures.

  ‘I think I might go, guys.’

  Brad looked up at Ana’s words, and saw her handing baby Aidan to Cam.

  ‘Congratulations, again,’ her wide smile encompassed the new parents. ‘You guys are going to do great things with these little bubs.’ She caressed Aidan under the chin one final time before moving towards the door.

  Extricating himself from his place by the bed, Brad quietly slipped out of the room to follow Ana down the hallway.

  ‘Ana, wait up!’ he called out when he caught sight of her but she seemed to quicken her pace. He picked up his own speed, catching her at the lifts as she pressed the call button. He reached for her hand but she snatched it away.

  ‘Ana, we should talk—’

  ‘Don’t, Brad. Just don’t.’

  When she wouldn’t look at him he slipped between her and the lift. She twisted her head but she couldn’t hide the glisten of tears in her eyes.