‘Oh my gosh, what have you done to me?’ she demanded, standing up from the table and stretching, rubbing her over-full belly. ‘I’m going to have to spend all day at the gym tomorrow to work this off, you realise.’
‘I didn’t force the food down your throat,’ Brad grinned, refusing to take responsibility for her near-food-coma state.
‘No. You just provided the temptation,’ she told him, not thinking through the words until it was too late to take them back. Their eyes connected, and she knew he was thinking the same thing she was.
‘So, ah, movie time. What did you bring round?’ she said in a rush, keen to get both their minds off the true temptation in the room.
‘Just a couple of the latest releases,’ he stretched in his seat, his t-shirt riding up and giving her a glimpse of bare skin and rock-hard abs covered in a spattering of hair that disappeared beneath the waistband of his jeans.
How good would it be to run her hands across those muscles? To feel them moving and clenching beneath her touch? Just the thought of it was enough to send a zing of awareness down deep inside her.
No. She wasn’t going there again. Not unless he agreed to stay the night.
But she couldn’t ask that of him. Not now she knew there were deeper issues at play.
Still, with a body like he had, maybe she could make an exception. Just for tonight. Just so she could feel the firmness of him...No. She couldn’t. She had to stop herself.
Reluctantly, she managed to drag her gaze up and away from his bare skin, only to find Brad watching her, his eyes knowing. Flames of embarrassment scorched across her face.
‘So, movies,’ she emphasised again, this time keeping her face well clear of the tempting devil as she grabbed the DVDs off the kitchen counter and examined them. ‘Seriously?! You couldn’t have gone for something a little more…heart-warming? Maybe a movie with a touch of substance? A true story? Comedy, even?’ she demanded, holding up the two latest ball-busting action movies.
‘Come on,’ he derided, pointing to the DVD in her left hand, ‘Arnie’s always funny.’
‘No, Brad. Arnie’s not funny.’
‘He is, but, whatever. I had to pick something I wanted to watch,’ he said with a casual shrug. ‘Wasn’t completely sure you’d be up for the company.’
Ana conceded the point, mostly because, all temptations aside, she was extremely grateful he’d come by. He’d provided the very distraction she needed to settle her nerves tonight.
Grabbing his DVD of choice, Ana inserted it into the player, dimmed the lights and settled down next to him on the couch. As the opening credits started playing, Ana fought off a yawn. Oh dear. The effects of the late night last night, the strenuous day today, followed by the large meal seemed to be catching up with her.
No. She could fight it. She could stay awake and…
The next thing she knew, she was lying on the couch and Brad was gently shaking her shoulder.
‘Come on, beautiful, let’s get you to bed,’ he said.
‘But it’s so comfy here,’ she complained, wriggling backwards, deeper into the sofa.
‘I’m sure your bed is too,’ he insisted, sliding a hand behind her and pushing her hips towards the edge of the couch.
‘You’re being very mean. Why are you being so mean to me?’ she whined, finally giving in to his urging and sliding off the couch.
‘You’ll thank me in the morning,’ he slipped behind her, sliding his arms around her waist to keep her upright and guide her to the bedroom.
Mmm, getting up had been a good idea. His chest was even comfier than the lounge. And he smelled a whole lot better.
Ana leaned backwards, sinking into his protective embrace. She felt so safe here. So loved. No one could hurt her if she was in Brad’s arms.
Turning her head, she snuggled into her favourite shoulder, nudging her face around until she got the space just right. When she found it she let out a contented little sigh and snuggled deeper.
Behind her, Brad stopped, the arms around her waist pulling her to a halt too. ‘Ah, ah, Ana,’ Brad’s voice was soft and a little strange as it brushed across her ear. But she was so tired, still half asleep, and determining the nuances were beyond her reach just now. ‘You know I’m not a bed, right?’
‘I know,’ she answered, giggling a little. Sometimes he asked the silliest questions. ‘But this is the best pillow I ever had,’ she mumbled, content as long as she was snuggling in close. A familiar bump was starting to grow against her lower back, sparking an answering warmth between her thighs. ‘Are you coming to bed with me?’
Silence followed her question, the only sound in the room Brad’s breath as it heaved in and out of his chest. But it didn’t sound like normal breathing, it was too…strained.
‘I thought there were no sleepovers tonight,’ he answered, his voice croaky.
‘Oh, that’s right,’ Ana remembered now. She probably wasn’t supposed to be cuddling into him like this either. But she couldn’t quite remember why. How could she not want something that felt so good?
Brad shifted beneath her, and the familiar hard lump disappeared from her back, replaced by vacant empty air. Needing him next to her again, she tried to wiggle backwards but he was already pushing her forwards, steering her down the hallway and into her bedroom.
Her brand new bedroom.
She blinked her eyes open, waking a little, focusing on the room and forgetting about the feel of him against her. Brad leaned around her and pulled the covers down.
‘Here you go, just pop on in,’ he said, guiding her into the bed and pulling the covers up around her before she’d realised what he was doing.
‘So you’re going?’
It wasn’t supposed to come out like a question, but now she was here, all alone in her bed in her brand new apartment, her earlier fears started creeping in.
‘That’s the plan. I’ll just make sure everything’s switched off and locked up and then I’ll head off.’
‘Okay,’ Ana nodded, her voice squeaky as a mouse. She cleared her throat, clenched her tummy tight on the nerves and tried again. ‘Sounds good.’
Brad stared at her a moment longer, his eyes penetrating so deep inside, she was sure he could see straight through to her soul.
‘Your phone is right here,’ he pulled the device from his pocket and laid it on her bedside table. ‘You need anything, even just a chat, you call me, okay? You’ll get through tonight.’
‘I know,’ Ana wiped at the wetness that had sprung up in her eyes. She didn’t want to be weak. She didn’t. ‘You go.’
But as he walked out her bedroom door, the fears came back, the nerves pinging around her body. Shadows lurked in every corner of the room. Her mind started racing, going over all the ways someone might break in. Yes, she was on the third floor, but the balconies could be easily scaled. And if they were professionals, they would have a glass cutter and be in the apartment within minutes.
Shivers of fear crept up her spine, and she tried sinking into the bed to overcome them, but they just got worse. The hard, stabbing pain kept digging into her back, and-
Oh. Wait. She still had her bra on. Maybe it was the back clips that were causing her pain.
Sitting up, she quickly snapped the hooks apart and slipped the bra out through one sleeve. Heaving a sigh of relief, she laid back down, ready to relax and drift off to sleep.
The tingles were back. Creeping and crawling up her spine. Every footstep next door, each wiggle of a blind sent another shiver of fear up her spine. What if it was a man with a knife? An intruder, just like the one who’d killed her mother? What if…
No. No. No.
She wouldn’t let the frantic thoughts overwhelm her. She wouldn’t. She was perfectly safe. It was a secure building.
Her eyes flicked to her phone. She could call him. She could call him if she needed to talk, if she didn’t feel safe, if she got too scared.
But what would talking do? He’d be on the oth
er end of the phone; in another house; on the other side of the city.
She didn’t need his voice. She needed his arms around her. It was the only way she’d ever be safe.
‘Brad!’ she called out into the darkened room. He hadn’t left yet. She would have heard the door open if he had.
‘What is it?’ he poked his head through the doorway, slightly breathless from flying down the hallway.
But now he was here, she didn’t know how to say it; to voice what she dearly needed from him.
‘Ana, baby, what’s wrong?’
‘I just…Can you stay?’
The green of his eyes, the only part of him visible in the moonlight filtering through the closed blinds, melted at her request.
‘Are you sure you want me here?’ he moved towards her, kneeling by the side of her bed, his eyes drilling into hers, searching for the truth. She nodded, her hand reaching out from beneath the covers to brush against his cheek.
‘I need my hero tonight.’
He flinched at her words, and she thought he might pull back, but he didn’t. It took him a moment, two, but then he was smiling at her. That warm, reassuring smile of his had helped her through the darkest moments of her life, ‘well come on, scoot over,’ he said. She shuffled across the bed, lifting the doona for him to slide in beside her.
‘Thanks,’ she whispered, leaning up to brush a kiss across his cheek once he’d settled in, before finding her perfect spot and cuddled up into his arm. Like magic, the spine-tingling fear that had been creeping across her skin disappeared.
She closed her eyes and snuggled in, ready to fall back into a calm, dreamless sleep.
It would have worked. It should have worked. Except for one small problem.
Brad was in her bed.
And he felt so damn good. Her need to keep her distance dissipated as sparks of desire shot through her body.
Keeping her eyes shut, hoping to maintain the pretence that she was trying to sleep, she stretched her body, pressing herself in closer to him, her arm winding around his waist, her leg twisting in closer to his. She wriggled, enjoying the feel of all that hard muscle against her soft flesh.
‘What are you doing?’ his voice sounded slightly strangled as the question wafted over her head.
‘Just trying to get comfortable,’ she answered, hiding her wicked smile in his chest. She loved hearing the effect she could have on him. It made her feel so deliciously sexy to know she could do this to him. She wriggled again, brushing the soft mounds of her breasts backwards and forwards against his ribcage.
A sharp whistle whizzed through the air above her. It wasn’t quite a gasp but something close to it.
‘I really think you should stop moving,’ Brad warned her, a hard edge to his voice.
‘Why on earth would I want to do that?’ Ana slid her hand down to the flat of his stomach, stretching her fingers till the tips almost reached the top of his jeans, and was rewarded by the sharp hiss that followed.
‘Because those pyjamas are failing miserably at hiding the feel of you.’
‘Are they?’ Ana wriggled around a little more and laughed as he let out a deep groan of frustration.
‘Stop it! I’m trying to do the right thing here, Ana. I’m trying to be…a gentleman,’ he tightened his arm around her waist and she stopped moving. Temporarily.
‘Why would you want to do that?’ Ana slowly inched her hand lower, until Brad reached down and pulled it back up.
‘Because if I don’t, cuddling is the last thing we’ll be doing tonight.’
‘That sounds rather good to me,’ she told him, tugging her hand out of his.
‘But it’s not what you want.’
‘I wouldn’t be too sure about that.’ Ana boldly ran her now freed fingers down to the hard lump straining against the tight denim of his pants. Frustrated with the thickness of the fabric between her fingers and his cock, she slid the zipper down and slipped her hand inside his pants. ‘In fact, this, right here,’ she said, wrapping her fingers around her goal, luxuriating in the smooth feel of his hard organ, ‘is exactly what I want.’
He groaned again, his arm clenching around her for an altogether different reason. ‘But you said…you said…’
‘It’s a woman’s right to change her mind, Brad,’ she whispered against his throat as she nuzzled in close.
With her legs wound around his, she ground her crotch into the top of his hip, needing the pressure of him against her. His hand slid from her waist to clutch her backside. Maybe he’d been intending to stop her, but all he did was curve his hand around her cheeks, holding her firm as she pushed herself against him.
Releasing another guttural groan, he rolled her onto her back, dragging her arms away from his crotch and pinning them above her head. He propped himself up on his elbows, staring down into her eyes, his own heady with desire but still looking for the truth. ‘Are you sure?’ he checked again.
‘Very sure,’ she answered, straining against his body, rubbing against every point she could find, needing to have him against her again.
‘Don’t hate me in the morning,’ she thought she heard him whisper, but then his head swooped down to hers, his lips sinking into her own and all thought disappeared for a very long time.
***
Lying on his side beside her in bed, Brad stared down at Ana, her skin glowing in the postcoital aftermath. He ran a finger down her cheek, and her eyes fluttered open, soft and dewy and close to sleep. But she smiled when she saw him still there, staring down at her.
‘You should get some rest, beautiful,’ he whispered, leaning down to brush a kiss against her lips, still puffy and plump from their passion.
‘I will,’ she answered but she didn’t close her eyes, just continued to stare up at him, like she wanted to say something.
‘What is it?’ he asked softly, when it was clear she wasn’t going to ask whatever was on her mind.
Still she hesitated, dropping her gaze from his, her fingers picking at the sheet that lay between them. He reached out a finger and tilted her head back up to face his, seeking whatever troubled her.
‘Tell me.’
Her hand left the sheet to cover his, to hold it to her face as she stared into his eyes. He could see the exact moment she found the courage to tell him.
‘Will you stay?’
The question, so quiet, seared through him like a red hot poker, branding him straight on the heart. He knew how much it cost her to ask him. But more than that, he knew how much it would cost him to do it.
‘You want me to stay?’
Her only answer was a nod, but it was enough. He’d never been able to say no to her. Not in all the years they’d known each other.
‘Then I’ll stay,’ he promised.
Her wide glowing smile was his reward, and he couldn’t help but reach down and brush his lips across it.
Her eyes fluttered shut after that, and she stopped fighting the heady pull of slumber. He stayed where he was, watching as her breathing slowly settled into the calm, even rhythm of sleep.
Now he just had to figure out a way to stay awake. Because that was the only way he’d be able to keep his promise and stay all night.
***
Brad sat bolt upright, cold sweats breaking over his body, the sound of Ana’s screams reverberating around his mind. He blinked, giving his eyes time to adjust to the darkened surroundings. The cries were fading now, and he glanced down at the warm, firm lump beside him to see Ana lying in bed next to him, her body curled up around a pillow.
She was safe!
That was all that mattered. Or, at least, it should be.
But the faint copper scent of fresh blood was still invading his senses, his hands sticky with the substance. He stared down at his fingers, certain they would be bright red and slick with blood.
They weren’t.
They were clean, and dry, and bare of anything but the ring he always wore. He slid the metal up, stared at the name tattooe
d beneath it. It was still there.
He slid the ring down and stared out at his strange surroundings. Now he knew Ana wasn’t screaming, that the blood-curdling pain he was hearing wasn’t real, he should have been relieved.
But he wasn’t. The fear still had its tight grip around him. He couldn’t wipe the image of her, knife plunged in her chest, from his mind. And he could never, ever clean his blood-soaked hands.
More than anything in the world he wished he could wipe away the past. Then maybe he’d have a chance at the only thing he’d ever truly wanted.
But he couldn’t. He couldn’t erase what he’d done. And neither could he stay here. Not now.
He couldn’t let Ana see him at his lowest—scared with his hands scrubbed raw. He’d always been her hero, but now…
He had to leave. Like always. There was no other way.
With his heart breaking into little pieces, Brad staggered out of bed, crawled down the hallway and disappeared into the night.
Chapter Eight
‘I need you to hold. Hold. Three more seconds.’
Ana’s triceps began to burn as she tried to hold the pose. The instructor on the YouTube clip made the Chaturanga push-up look so easy, but Ana was struggling.
‘One. That’s it. Make sure your back is straight, your core tight.’
Cursing under her breath, Ana tried to pull her stomach in tighter, sucking her belly button back to her spine like they’d said to do earlier but something didn’t quite work. Her stomach caned and her legs began to wobble.
‘Two. Not long now. Keep going…’
As the perky instructor finished the count Ana collapsed onto her yoga mat. The class moved onto the next pose but Ana stay where she lay, a writhing mass of liquefying muscles.
That was the benefit—or the downfall—of doing yoga with YouTube. She could wuss out halfway through the class without anyone knowing. She’d been trialling it on and off over the last few months, but had yet to finish a full class from home.
Maybe it was time to go to an actual class. She’d seen a sign for Hot Box yoga just down the road, right next to the place advertising Burlesque dance classes. Hell, maybe she should even try Burlesque dancing, become one of those “dolls”. It would give her something to do on boring weekends at home. And maybe, if she put on a private show, Brad might even stay the whole night.
A Love Worth Saving Page 11
