No! She refused to let herself think like that. She didn’t want to be that woman.
Yet a part of her already was, with the words of his apologetic text carved into her heart.
I’m sorry. I tried. Please forgive me.
Any sane person would know that a text message in no way made up for him not being where he’d promised to be. And yet, her hope had soared at this minute change in his behaviour.
Reaching out, she paused the YouTube video, wound it back to her point of collapse and started again. She needed to keep busy today. She needed to keep her mind away from Brad and the pathetic circles it was turning in. Thankfully the next few poses required her full attention and she was given blessed relief from her yearnings.
She was just bending into the Garland pose when her phone buzzed with an incoming text message. Somehow she resisted the urge to drop straight out of the pose and dive on the phone.
Instead—feeling very Zen—she waited for the instructor, slowly lifted out of the pose, and carefully, slowly paused the clip. Ignoring her pounding heart, she casually reached for her phone and checked the message.
Pierce.
Swallowing her disappointment—refusing to even acknowledge it—Ana flicked his message open.
Where u @? New or old home?
Ana quickly tapped out her response.
New. Y?
She took the time to grab a drink of water while she waited to hear back from him. Instead of her phone beeping however, the doorbell rang. A quick glance in the security screen showed her that sure enough, it was Pierce.
‘That was fast!’ Ana exclaimed, her delight at the surprise filtering through her voice.
‘I was in the area. So, can I come up?’
‘Oh, sorry! I’m still not used to this intercom business. There you go,’ and she unlocked the door and watched him disappear from the security screen. Minutes later she was opening the door and enveloping her stepbrother in an enormous bear-hug.
‘Whoa! I guess you’re happy to see me,’ Pierce laughed as he extricated himself from her embrace, his sandy-coloured hair flopping over his freckled face as he grinned down at her.
‘I just love surprises,’ Ana told him, though it was more than that. After last night, she really did need the comfort of being with someone who cared for her as much as her brother did. ‘So, what are you doing here? I thought you were at a conference all weekend.’
‘Eh, the snooze fest. An entire weekend listening to the ins and outs of new accounting programs is not a lot of fun. So I ditched it early to come and help my baby sister move into her very first apartment…but apparently I’m not needed,’ he conceded, his eyes roving over the fully set-up living area. ‘Did I have the weekends mixed up? It looks like you’ve been here a lot longer than a day.’
‘I know, right? But it’s true. This place was empty just yesterday.’
‘Wow. That must have cost you a pretty penny.’
‘No. It cost nothing, actually. Brad helped me move it all over then the girls came by and helped with the unpacking.’
‘That’s great. Brad’s a nice guy, isn’t he? He’s always been there, looking out for you.’
‘Yeah, I guess,’ Ana dropped his gaze and moved away, into the living room where she reached down to pick up the yoga mat. She started rolling it, faster and faster, needing to keep herself busy and not think about Brad and all the wonderful things he’d done for her.
‘Since you’re all set up here, how about I take you out for lunch? Celebrate the big move and all that.’
‘Sounds divine,’ Ana answered over her shoulder as she put the yoga mat away in a cupboard down the hallway. ‘Where do you want to go?’ she asked as she scooped her tablet off the ground and exited out of YouTube.
‘Well, there’s this new little restaurant that’s opened up just down the road that I’d like to try.’
Pierce’s tone was casual, but the way he was looking at the ground, his feet shuffling across the space told a different story.
‘We’re not going to check out your latest love are we?’ Ana teased.
‘No. No.’ Pierce assured her laughingly. ‘Well, kind of, actually,’ he finally pulled his gaze from the ground and looked up into her eyes. ‘There’s an art gallery attached to the restaurant that I’d like to check out. Maybe—’
‘Wait. You’re not…’ Excitement started to build inside Ana as her suspicions firmed in her mind. ‘Are you painting again, Pierce?’
He blushed prettily, the first time she’d ever seen the eternally-confident Pierce shy. All he could manage was a nod, but it was enough. Ana let out an excited little cheer and raced over to swamp him in another massive hug.
A very talented, budding artist in his youth, everyone had thought Pierce was destined for great things. Everyone except his domineering father, who’d tried to push Pierce into the family accounting business because it was a solid, certain income. Still, despite his father’s reservations, Pierce had enrolled in a Fine Arts degree at university and had started to display his work at a few student galleries. He’d won several competitions and was all set to begin his Honours year when his father had a sudden heart attack and died, leaving the accounting practice solely to Pierce.
Her own father and Pierce’s mother had encouraged him to sell the business, to set himself up in his chosen career, but he hadn’t. Instead, guilt-ridden, he’d transferred to an accounting degree and never touched a paintbrush again.
At least, she thought he hadn’t. But it seemed he’d been a sneaky little bugger of late.
‘How long have you been painting for?’
‘Just a couple of months, really. I don’t have a lot of space in my apartment, so I can’t do a lot.’
‘No, I’d imagine not. Are you going to move to a new place with more space?’
‘Not yet. I’m looking into leasing a studio instead. Mum and your Dad are pretty keen to help me out with that.’
‘Wow. That’s so fantastic. Of course they’re keen to help you out. And their place is standing empty most of the time. That’s the perfect place for a studio.’
‘That’s not what—’
But Ana didn’t hear the protest, too excited by the news itself.
‘So, what are we doing at this gallery? Have you got some work to show them?’
‘Maybe,’ Pierce admitted with a secretive little smile. ‘But first I want to check out their style. See if it will be a fit with my work.’
‘Of course. So, can you show me the sample shots?’ Ana was practically jumping up and down with excitement.
‘Yes, miss, I can,’ Pierce answered with a laugh. ‘But first, you have to go get out of those exercise clothes and into something decent so we can go to the gallery for lunch.’
***
Brad rang the doorbell of the quaint, two-storey townhouse in Spring Hill, peering inside the window. The house was bright and warm, both inside and out, with lots of exposed brick, stained glass, and a beautiful polished timber staircase.
It was one of his favourite places to come and hang out, though that was probably more for the company than the cosy home itself. Letting go of the buzzer, he stepped back to wait for the answer. It didn’t take long. Within seconds he heard the pitter-patter of little feet pounding down the staircase and across the entrance tiles.
‘Uncle Brad!’ Kaidee screamed, her voice muffled by the frosted glass her face was pressed against. ‘Mum! It’s Uncle Brad! Hurry!’
Suppressing a chuckle, Brad squatted down so he was face-to-face with Kaidee through the glass. She poked her tongue out at him, dragged the skin beneath her eyes down and pretty much busted her chops to make the silliest face possible. Not to be left behind, Brad flattened his nose with his finger, crossed his eyes and started shaking his head from side to side. Immediately, Kaidee lost control of her facial contortions as a severe case of the giggles shook her small frame.
‘I’m coming. I’m coming,’ Brad’s sister, Natalie called out
as she made her way down the staircase at a much more sedate pace. The keys jiggled in the lock and then the door swung open and Kaidee launched herself into his arms.
‘Did you bring me anything? Did you?’ Kaidee demanded, her arms still wrapped around his neck.
‘Kaidee, what have I told you? Don’t ask people for presents.’ Natalie admonished swiftly, shooting embarrassed eyes towards Brad.
‘Sorry,’ the little girl said to her mother, but the eyes she threw Brad’s way were anything but remorseful.
‘It’s all good, Nat. She’s just a kid. Kids are meant to be scabs,’ he teased, tickling Kaidee mercilessly as he entered the house.
‘Easy for the uncle to say. Anyway, you’re just in time for dinner.’
‘I was hoping you might say that. What’s on the menu?’
‘Yucky soup,’ Kaidee informed him as he carried her up the stairs. ‘It stinks,’ she added, pinching her nose between her fingers.
‘That’s not nice, Kaidee. I’m sure it’s yummy. Have you tried it?’
‘No way.’
‘Don’t worry about, her,’ Nat threw over her shoulder. ‘She’s having fish fingers and chips.’
‘Yummy!’ Kaidee let go of her nose, to raise her arms in the air in a cheer.
‘That’s better. And you know what?’ he asked, whispering the question in his niece’s ear.
‘What?’ she whispered back.
‘Once you eat all your dinner, you can have this,’ and he slipped the chocolate bar from his pocket and into her hands. Her little eyes lit up when she realised what she had in her possession.
‘I knew you brought me something,’ she declared before scattering kisses all over his face. ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you.’
‘Ha, ha, that’s alright, kiddo.’
Once they’d finished climbing the stairs and reached the greater living space, Kaidee wriggled out of his hold and raced over to the dolls set up at a tea party and showed them her new treasure.
‘Thanks, Brad. But you really shouldn’t spoil her like that,’ Natalie told him as she walked towards the stove pot.
‘I don’t do it often enough. So, what’s cranking? Is it really just soup for dinner? Not that I’m complaining, but I thought Ant was a die-hard carnivore,’ he said, referring to her husband.
‘Well, he’s not here for dinner, so it’s my pick tonight.’
‘Where is he?’
‘Out,’ Natalie shrugged but there was something about the way she said it. It made Brad take a second glance at her and he realised just how drained she looked; sad and tired; her stress leaching out of her like a toxic chemical spill. Natalie and Anthony had always had a bit of a rocky relationship, but Brad had thought they were on the up and up lately. Clearly he’d been wrong.
‘Do I need to go bust his chops?’
‘No. That…no. It’s nothing I can’t handle.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yeah, I’m sure. But thanks for having my back,’ she said, moving away from the stove to wrap a weary arm around his waist.
‘Always, Sis. Always,’ and he patted her gently on the back.
‘Now, are you going to tell me why you’re really here? Because it can’t be this soup. Kaidee was right when she said it stank. I think I may have to turf it.’
‘I’m sure it’s not that bad.’
‘Come on. Try it,’ Natalie challenged, scooping a spoonful out of the pot and holding it up for him to slurp.
Blowing on it a couple of times to make sure it wasn’t too hot, Brad wrapped his lips around the spoon, sucking the soup into his mouth…and then raced to the kitchen sink to spit it straight back out.
‘Holy hell, Nat. That’s terrible! What’s it supposed to be?’
‘Creamy broccoli and polenta.’
‘Seriously? Maybe burnt broccoli and cement. Didn’t you learn anything from all of Mum’s lessons?’
‘You were the one interested in cooking, Brad. Not me. Anyway, point made. Now you have to spill. What’s brought you all the way out here on a Sunday night?’
Brad turned the sink tap on and rinsed the God-awful taste from his mouth before turning back to his too-perceptive sister.
‘Well, I was hoping you might be able to recommend a good psychologist for—’
‘Oh, Brad, of course. Thank goodness you’re finally going back to counselling. I know things didn’t work out with the last one, but you can’t give up that easily.’
‘Whoa, hold up,’ Brad held up a hand to halt his sister’s leap in the wrong direction. ‘It’s not for me. I’m doing okay.’
‘But you’re not, Brad. I know you’re not. You haven’t been to counselling for more than twelve months, and I know the nightmares are back and—’
‘Hey, Nat, I’m fine. Yes, the nightmares are back, but they’ve never really gone away. Not with any of the counselling you’ve shoved me into over the years, nor with the hypnosis, or whatever new technique comes out. But it’s fine. I’m fine. I have my own way of coping that gets me through.’
‘But that’s not—’
‘I told you, it’s nothing I can’t handle,’ he said, echoing her own words back at her.
‘Okay. Fine. I’ll leave you in peace. For now.’
‘Good. Because I really need you to recommend someone for Ana. She’s—’
‘Oh. My. God. Not that woman. I knew it. As soon as I saw her at the hospital, I knew it was bad news.’
‘Holy…what are you going on about?
‘You two are back at it again, aren’t you? That woman is not good for you, Brad. You need to stay away from her.’
‘What do you mean “back at it”? We’ve never…look, we work together. We’re friends and I want to get her some help.’
‘Don’t try to lie to me,’ she ordered. She stared him down, one hand on hip, the other waving in the air in front of him as she counted off the points on her fingers. ‘I’m a woman. I’m your sister. And, I’m a psychologist. I’m an expert in studying human behaviour. I know exactly what you two get up to, so cut the crap right this instant, Bradley Francis Lewis.’
Brad stared at his sister in shock—at both the level of hostility aimed directly at Ana, and at his sister’s suppositions about their relationship. But she was still only guessing. She didn’t—couldn’t—know for sure. And there was no way in hell he was going to fall for any bluff and admit to it.
‘Why do you hate her so much? She’s never been anything but nice to you.’
‘It’s what she’s done to you that I hate.’
‘She hasn’t done anything to me.’
‘I’m not an idiot, Brad, so don’t treat me like one. I know that she is the reason your marriage failed all those years ago. She is the reason you’ve never been able to settle down into a wholesome, stable relationship. She—’
‘Now wait up there. You are being way too harsh. Ana has never tried to stand in the way of me having a relationship with someone else. If I can’t maintain interest in another woman for longer than a few weeks, that’s on me, not her.’
‘And it’s got nothing to do with your attraction to her?’
‘Whether it does or not, it’s not Ana’s fault. She…she…’
‘She is the reason you changed from a bright, happy-go-lucky fourteen year old into a serious, withdrawn, traumatised teen overnight.’
Brad’s eyes widened, his mouth falling open in shock. ‘I can’t believe you just said that. Nothing that happened that night was Ana’s fault. For crying out loud, she was a child. She was eleven years old, and she was under attack and—’
‘I’m not…I didn’t mean it was her fault. I know she didn’t…but Brad, you have to understand how horrible it was to watch you lose your innocence that night. In an instant you went from my beautiful bright baby brother to this…to this…’
‘Killer. Go on, you can say it. I know I do. I turned into a killer that night.’
‘No. Brad. NO! That is not what I was going to say,�
� she exclaimed, reaching for him, trying hold onto his hands as she tried to justify her unjustifiable words, but he pulled back, stepping as far away from her as the small kitchen would allow.
‘You were a hero that night. But in saving Ana a part of you died, a part I loved, that everyone loved. And we’ve never been able…we can never get that part of you back.’
The pain, so clear and bright in her eyes, arced across the cavernous space between them, filling the small room with the taint of broken dreams. He couldn’t stand it. He had to get out of here. This was why he’d spent most of his life moving around, running away from the hopes his family had had for him.
But there was one thing he needed to know first.
‘Does this mean you’re not going to help her?’
Natalie sighed and dropped his gaze, her shoulders slumping in defeat as she stared at the floor beneath her feet. When she looked up, an incredibly long time later, the defeat had been replaced by steely determination.
‘No. I’ll help her. But I’m not doing it for her. I’m doing it for you. So you can finally stop being the one to save her.’
Chapter Nine
‘I have good and bad news for you,’ Brad informed the dishevelled patient sitting across from him.
‘Alright, give it to me straight,’ Ralph sighed, leaning back in the cushioned chair, his rounded belly bouncing beneath the pale yellow polo shirt. His wife, Shirley, wrapped a hand over the one Barry had clenched around the arm rest.
‘As I suspected, the results from your sleep study indicate that you have obstructive sleep apnoea.’
‘Bugger it,’ Ralph cursed, ripping his hand out from beneath his wife’s to run it through his wiry, verging on unruly grey hair. ‘I really didn’t think I’d have it. I’m never tired so how can I possibly have a sleeping problem?’
‘Not everyone is symptomatic, but given the severity of your disorder and the persistent trouble you’ve had with your blood pressure, I’d say you’ve been living with this for years. The human body is amazingly adaptable sometimes, and despite your lack of sleep yours has found a way to function so you can still get through every day. It’s a bit like…’
A Love Worth Saving Page 12
