"What for?" She always had a smile on her face. It was the nature of her friendly personality. She had a tray in front of her and was preparing an order.
I liked Candy. Previously she’d worked as a dancer at the club, but had gone to Bartending School so that she would have more opportunity. I doubted that the tips were better than her previous position, but she didn't complain. She'd worked at Grinders for several years, and had grown tired of taking off her clothes and being pawed at by horny, unruly drunks.
"For almost being late," I laughed, watching her put the last glass onto the tray. "Want me to take that?" Honey and Elsa seemed to be busy in their sections.
She nodded. "Thanks, honey." She slid the tray in my direction. "Just happens to be one of your tables. The one in the far back against the wall."
I glanced in that direction and saw a lone man sitting at the table. He was watching Trina doing her thing on the pole, and she was working it as if he were the only man in the room. I couldn't blame him for focusing on her—Trina was beautiful, and she had a perfect body. The men loved her bottled bright red hair and her large, augmented breasts. She made the most tips of all the girls, and often disappeared into a back room with customers several times a night.
"All these drinks for one man?" I smiled.
"He has friends coming."
I picked up the tray and turned towards the customer’s table. The closer I got, the more I could see just how handsome the man was, in spite of his intense, closed-off expression. He wasn't wearing a cut like eighty percent of the other clientele were, yet he had the same dangerous vibe going on. The bomber-style leather jacket he was wearing revealed that he had a powerful, solid body. His black hair framed dark brown eyes in a strong face covered in scruff.
He noticed my approach and smiled as I drew closer. I noticed his eyes move over me with interest, but I didn't feel insulted by his gaze. I returned his smile and set the tray down.
"At first I thought you were just thirsty, until Candy told me you have friends coming," I teased. "How do you want these?"
"The tequila is mine, sweetheart. Just leave the tray, my friends can grab what's theirs."
I set the tequila down in front of him, careful not to lean over too far. I didn't mind showing a little cleavage for bigger tips, but I wasn't as obvious about the ploy as some of the other girls were. Some of them seemed to thrive on the attention, but I would never be one of those women who would disappear somewhere for a quick fuck with a patron. I'd made up my mind a long time ago that there would never be anyone but Sax for me. I knew that I wasn't being realistic, that someone would come along one day, someone I would settle for.
"Would you like anything to snack on?" I asked as I straightened up.
"Are you on the menu?"
I laughed. The teasing light in his eyes put me at ease, assuring me that his comment was meant as a joke. "Sorry. You'd probably have better luck with Trina." I glanced toward the striper pole that she was grinding on. Trina hadn't torn her gaze from the man, making it very clear what she wanted.
He shook his head. "I never go for average when I've got perfect standing in front of me."
This man was too much, but I recognized that it was all harmless flirting. I found myself giggling like a stupid school girl at the man’s compliment, paying no mind when I felt movement behind me, assuming that someone was passing by to get to another booth or table.
"This one's off limits."
I tensed at the sound of the familiar voice behind me, my smile instantly evaporating. I didn't move as Sax, Cole, and Loco moved around me and slid into the booth. My eyes connected with the steely grit in Sax's. I felt my breath catch at the anger reflected there. Would he always look at me with such dislike? I steeled myself from revealing the hurt that I felt, exchanging a glance with Cole and Loco and forcing the smile back on my face.
"Hi, honey," Cole greeted, reaching for the beer.
"Got anything good to snack on back there?" Loco gave me a wink.
"We were just talking about tasty snacks, weren't we?" The stranger grinned in my direction.
It was obvious that he hadn't picked up on the hands-off vibe Sax had sent out when he’d first sat down, or he just didn't care. He wasn't intimidated by the bikers in the least, and I wondered how they knew each other.
"We didn't come here to fucking party," Sax snarled, drinking down his whiskey in one swallow. He slammed the glass back onto the tray. "Bring me the whole bottle," he demanded. It was clear that he wasn't happy to see me.
I raised my brow, not liking his demanding tone. "Well, since you asked so nicely, why don't you get it yourself?" As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them. Sax's face flushed darkly, and I spun around and left before he could retaliate. Grinders belonged to the Desert Rebels, and he was the VP. He could fire me on the spot if he wanted to. Shit!
I didn't get far before I felt a rough hand wrap around my arm and then drag me past the bar to the back. Candy's eyes widened at me, but she knew better than to intervene. I made an effort to pull away. Sax grunted and tightened his hand around me, forcing me down the hall around a corner and then against the wall.
"Since when do you fucking work here?"
I rubbed my arm, facing his anger with my own. "Since Demon gave me a job," I said smartly.
"What else are you serving up besides drinks?" he growled, his eyes raking up and down my body.
I didn't like what he was implying. The accusation in his tone put me on the defensive. "None of your business!" I hissed in his face. "And your suspicions just confirm that you don't know me at all, Sax. I'm a server and sometimes bartender, and it's only temporary." Why was I explaining myself to him?
"I saw you flirting with Savage.
Was he jealous? I laughed. "It goes with the job, and he was flirting with me. It was harmless."
"What do you mean, ‘it’s temporary?’" he scowled. "Planning on running again?" There was something in his tone besides anger—accusation.
"I have a hostess job once Crickets opens up on the strip." I crossed my arms as if to keep a distance between us. I was weak where Sax was concerned, and my mind returned to the night when I'd awoken to find him unexpectedly in my bed.
"Good. The less I see of you, the fucking better." He turned and started to walk away.
"Sax—"
He halted but didn't turn back around.
"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."
His shoulders tensed in response to my words. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, that I would always love him, but realized that would contradict the reason I’d given him for breaking up with him. "I wish things were different—"
He spun around and stepped back to me so fast that I caught my breath and sank back against the wall as if it offered some protection.
"Different?" he snarled the word down at me. "Different how, Holly? I thought we were good. That we would work out our differences like two people in a committed relationship would. It nearly gutted me when you were taken and raped. But I was willing to wait a fucking lifetime for you to come back to me, for you to heal and be my woman again. You're the one who threw it all away, Baby. You're the one who ran instead of fighting for us."
I shook my head, but couldn't find my words. Tears ran down my cheeks hearing the broken emotion reflected in his tone. The truth was right there, waiting to spill from my lips, but I was too afraid to utter the words that would destroy what little we had left between us.
Because the truth would destroy us.
"I came back here hoping that you were still gone. I prayed for it." His impassioned words hurt me deeply. "But here you are, and with a kid."
I was growing tired of his refusal to call Ava by her name. "Ava, Sax. Her name is Ava," I said between my teeth. "And you don't want kids, so breaking it off with you was a no brainer. I wasn't going to have an abortion. I wasn’t going to give her up. It doesn't matter who her father is, I loved her the second I saw the positive pregna
ncy test." I didn't realize what I'd just admitted to until I saw the dawning of realization fill his eyes.
Shit! Realizing my mistake, I started to leave, but he boxed me in with his arms.
"So you lied."
I blinked up at him, tightening my mouth.
"You knew you were pregnant before you left."
A shadow of doubt moved across his face, I could see that he was trying to put the pieces together, and the longer the silence continued between us, the more nervous I grew. My heart sped up and I closed my eyes against the growing suspicion in his. I forced myself to breathe slowly and deeply, hoping to calm the jittery energy causing my pulse to race. All I wanted to do was get away from Sax and back out onto the floor.
"Look at me."
I did as he asked and raised my chin a little in a defiant gesture that I was sure he'd recognize. When we'd been together he'd found my defiance cute, but now his expression remained frighteningly impassive. I swallowed hard. He had to know that he was making me very uncomfortable.
"Sax, I need to get back to work."
"Could Ava be mine?"
My stomach fell. I'd been expecting that question from him, but it didn't stop me from feeling sick. I wasn't ready to admit the truth of what I'd done. But I could answer him honestly. "I don’t know who her father is."
"Not what I asked you."
Panic caused me to pull away from him. "I have to work, Sax!" I cried out when he grasped me by the hair and yanked me back. He forced me against the wall, crowding me in with his body and leaning his face in close. I'd never seen him like this before, and I had to admit that I was a little turned on by it.
"I want a DNA test," he gritted between his teeth, rage glittering in his eyes.
My eyes grew round. "Why? You don't even want kids." My mind raced as I tried to figure out how I was going to get out of this. I was ashamed by what I'd done, and if Ava turned out to be his he would instantly realize what I'd done. Tears filled my eyes as I stared up at him. If I thought Sax hated me now, it was nothing compared to what he would feel for me then.
"Maybe not, but if I ever found out I had one I'd do right by them."
I wanted more than anything for Ava to be his.
"Make the appointment and I'll be there to give a fucking sample."
"Sax—"
"Do it." With that, Sax released me and stomped off.
I stood there for a minute to pull myself together, and then hit the restroom to splash some water on my face and run my fingers through my hair. For the first time, I began to regret coming back. I was caught in a situation of my own making, and it was escalating faster than I could keep up with. The feeling that I'd turned a mole hill into a mountain wasn't lost on me. If I'd just been honest from the beginning, all of this could have been avoided, but the rape had messed with my thought processing and my ability to make common sense decisions back then.
My biggest regret was that I’d broken it off with Sax for the wrong reason.
I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and hit Jolene's number. During the months that I'd worked at the Desert Rebels construction office and she'd run Illuminations next door, we'd become fast friends. Of all the old ladies, we were the closest. She picked up on the first ring.
"Hi, honey," she breathed into the phone. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
I could hear the smile in her voice, and for some reason her light-hearted tone brought tears back to my eyes. "I need you. I need my girl friends..."
There was immediate concern in her tone. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"
I took a deep breath as I struggled to regain my composure. "I just need to talk, but I can't now. I'm at work."
"Say no more, honey. I'll call the girls and we'll make a plan. I'll get back to you."
"Thank you," I said in a teary tone, hating myself for not being strong enough to keep it together.
I knew that I could count on my friends. They might not have been able to solve the problem caused by my own stupidity, but their support and unconditional love would buffer the fallout that was sure to come.
Chapter 10
Sax
"Why the fuck did no one tell me Holly was working at Grinders?"
"Didn't call church to discuss Holly," Demon said. "She's not your old lady anymore, Brother."
I didn't appreciate the brush off. I ground my back teeth until a sharp pain shot up the side of my head. Demon was right, but I still felt that withholding the information from me was a betrayal of sorts. "Thank fuck she isn't dancing and taking off her clothes, because if she were there would be heads rolling right now."
I heard some snickers, but as soon as I whipped my head around they stopped. Too many smirks to count were spread across my brothers’ faces. I wanted to smash my fist into them, including Demon’s. I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair, prepared to hit the first brother who said the wrong fucking thing.
"Your meeting with Savage didn't exactly pan out."
I glanced over at Demon. I'd had a feeling that Savage wasn't going to take the job after our discussion at Grinders the other night. He was busy now, but asked us to give him a couple of days to see if he could work shit out. "He called then?"
Demon nodded. "This morning."
"Why'd he turn us down?" Oz asked.
"Got a commitment elsewhere." Demon leaned forward, elbows bent on the table as he steepled his fingers. "But he gave us a name of someone who might be available."
"Why doesn't one of us go in?"
"Don't want to take a chance the brother we send in will be recognized," Cole was quick to point out to Chewy.
Demon continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "Ever hear of a nomad called Judge?"
More than one head nodded and "yeah" filtered through the room.
"Hell, yes." Colton spoke up.
"Jesus, don't tell us he used to run with your crew," Reid burst out.
Colton, along with a few others, had been patched over from Devil's Soldiers a few years ago. Their MC no longer existed.
Colton snorted. "Fuck, no. He's always been a nomad. Mean as hell motherfucker. Loyal to no one, unless you're payin' him for a job, and he'll expect half up front. Last I heard the fucker has two kids he's puttin' through college."
"We didn't ask for his resume, asshole."
He responded to Loco's sarcasm by giving him the finger.
"If he's not loyal then he can't be trusted." I snarled. Murmurs of agreement sounded throughout the room. I knew who Judge was, too, and if a man couldn't be loyal to anyone, he could flip sides on a dime. "I wouldn't want him at my back."
"Loyal, not stupid," Colton explained. "If you're payin' him he'll finish the job. He's not cheap, either."
"I've heard that about him," Oz quipped.
"That he'll finish the job, or that he's not cheap?" Dancer grinned.
"Both."
"The way you praise Judge, it almost sounds as if you have a personal gain in this."
The room grew quiet as everyone considered Cole’s words and their implication and waited for Colton's reaction. He scratched his ear and shook his head. "Never met the man. Just know about him, and from what I’ve heard about his background, he'd probably get picked up by the Knights faster than Savage would have."
"That's fucking good enough for me," Demon announced, drawing everyone's attention his way. "I've already run it by Trip, and he's on board. Any ayes for hiring Judge to infiltrate the Knights?"
I scanned the room as arms shot up in the air. It looked as if everyone was on board.
"Any nays?"
Not one.
Demon swung his eyes to me. "You know what to do."
I gave him a chin lift before looking over at Oz. "Let's meet after church." Oz was our computer guru. It had taken him less than an hour to locate Savage. I expected it would take longer for him to find Judge, though. Nomads were good at not being found if they didn’t want to be.
"We got trouble!"
&nbs
p; I snapped my head in Cole's direction. He was sitting next to me, his head bent as he frowned down at something on his phone. His expression looked grim. "Just got a message from Bull." He got to his feet before he finished reading. "Their clubhouse was hit!"
"Fucks" exploded throughout the room as my brothers and I jumped to our feet to head out.
"How bad?" We were running shoulder to shoulder toward our bikes.
"Didn't say, just that the place was fucking shot up."
Brothers reached for their helmets and jumped on their bikes, their swift actions revealing their eagerness to take off. They revved up the powerful machines between their legs, forced to wait for Demon to take the lead. It sounded like thunder and the ground shook as we got in line and followed behind him through the gate. I was directly behind him, followed by Cole, and then the others. As we raced away from the clubhouse, I wondered what we were going to find at LD's.
I hadn't been there yet, hadn't had a chance. We went full throttle where we could. Once we reached the outskirts of Boulder City we jumped on the interstate to go the rest of the way. Now wasn't the time to take the scenic route. It didn't take long before we reached the exit and got off, and then we rode through parts of busy Vegas before winding up on a quiet road that took us the rest of the way to the clubhouse.
The first thing I noticed as we pulled through the gate and rode past the prospect who was manning it was that the clubhouse was in a good location. It was dark, so it was difficult to make out how much damage had been done to the building, but the broken windows were evident. There were a couple of wounded bikes in the front, if the way their riders were swearing and looking them over was any indication. I frowned, wondering where the rest of them were. I shut my bike down and shot a look toward Cole. "Did Bull say they went after the shooters?"
He shook his head as I brought my leg over my seat to get off. "They park behind the building for this very reason."
"Doesn't make for a fast getaway." Loco had obviously overheard.
"No, but it saves a fuck-ton of money on replacing bikes and bike parts," Oz quipped as we headed toward the door in a fast pace. "Think of how many bikes could have been crippled."
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