My So-Called Death
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"So... yeah." I strained to think of what to say next, how to apologize for shunning him when all he'd done was take one for the team to save my life. I felt like such an idiot, and I didn't see how Gavin could forgive me. I'd judged him without knowing all the facts, just like the entire school had judged Trish. I'd thought I was better than that... guess not.
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"Amisi's name means 'flower,'" he said with a little snort. "How wrong is that?"
"Very wrong." I laughed, but it was a tight, strangled sound.
Another long pause ensued. Geez! Why couldn't I just say I was sorry? He'd been calling for the past week, so he obviously wanted things to be cool between us. But how cool? Just friends cool, or something more cool?
"Yeah...so everything's good then?" Gavin asked. "You don't think I'm a repulsive freak?"
"No way," I hastened to assure him. "And I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions."
"And then wouldn't take my phone calls," he added.
"That too." I was pretty sure I blushed bright red, but Gavin didn't notice because he was already turning toward the door. He was leaving!
"Okay, see you Monday."
"Okay... Monday," I said, watching him leave with my nonbeating heart squirming around somewhere in my small intestines.
I couldn't let him go! Not like this! But what could I say? I couldn't very well confess my eternal devotion in the foyer, not when it seemed like he only wanted to be friends. Argh! This was so hard! If only we'd been allowed to kiss--or not kiss--that day in the library, at least then I'd know for sure if Gavin had any more-than-friendly feelings for me at all.
"Bye." He waved, smiled, and then the door closed and... it was over. The last chapter had been written. The
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book had been closed, taken back to the library, and was well on its way to being checked out by someone else.
"She who hesitates is lost," I muttered to myself. It was one of my dad's favorites quotes. He'd been using that one on me since I wasn't much older than the trips, but only now did the full weight of its wisdom settle upon my thin shoulders. I'd hesitated. And now, I was lost. Sniff.
I was turning back to the living room, mourning the fact that chocolate therapy was now forbidden to me, when a pillow hit me in the face.
"What are you thinking? Go after him," Trish hissed.
"I can't," I said, though I knew she was totally right.
"You must!"
"I can't. I can't go out in the front yard. Someone might see."
"You're under an illusion spell, no one is going to--"
"I don't trust the illusion spell!" I screeched. I knew I was being totally unreasonable, but I didn't trust the illusion spell just yet, and even more importantly, I was scared to death. What would I say to Gavin if I did go after him? I hadn't had a clue two minutes ago, and I didn't have any more of a clue now.
"Then go wait at the back door, I'll go get Gavin and tell him to meet you there," Trish said, shoving me toward the back door as she ran toward the front. She'd reached the door and was about to pull it open when Gavin shoved inside, grabbed Trish, and came terrifyingly close to kissing her.
Terrifying for me, at least. I swear, I almost puked my heart up from where it was lurking in my small intestines.
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"Oh, man. Sorry," Gavin said, his hands flying away from Trish's face and his lips kind of sliding off her ear as they stumbled and nearly fell down.
"It's cool." Trish grinned as she finally regained her balance. "I think you were looking for her."
And then she pointed to me, and Gavin turned in slow motion, just like in the movies--I think his hair was even ruffled by an invisible wind and maybe some sort of rock ballad started to play. And then he was crossing the room, and then he was cupping my face in his abnormally large but unbearably attractive hands, and then... he was kissing me.
And it was even better than I had imagined. Even with my best friend looking on, giggling like a madwoman. It was a first kiss to die for. Luckily, I was already dead. So I didn't die.
I just sighed and kissed him some more.
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