If You Come Back

by Alexis Leia

  She went past the old telephone booth on the town’s square that stood more like a memorial than anything else. But suddenly, the phone chimed and scared the living shit out of her. She thought those things didn’t work anymore. She cautiously approached the booth and lifted the phone.

  “Hello?” she asked.

  “Time for you to disappear, isn’t it?” a muffled voice said.

  “Who is this?” she asked, getting angrier by the second.

  “Did you like my red postcard in the mailbox?” the voice asked her. She then remembered the red envelope and an anonymous note inside it. Contrary to the creep’s expectations, she laughed loudly.

  “Listen, buddy. I don’t give a shit who you are and what you’re doing with your sad, pathetic life, but let me tell you something you probably heard too much in your life: fuck off and leave me alone”, she said, yelling out the last words and hanging up the phone.

  She kept walking, almost grateful for this prank; at least it made her feel something else than sadness. Now it made her angry, too. Oh, what a delightful combination.

  She arrived in front of the foster home and stood, watching the building where those loving kids waited for her. A new wave of emotions washed over her and she renewed the oath she gave to herself long ago; she would give these kids a better life and the support which, unlike hers, would never walk away. As she entered the building, she thought how fucked up she truly was.

  Whoever said falling in love was beautiful must have had the privilege of having someone who caught them once they fell.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “Why are you making me go trick-or-treating?” Sam whined as Selene helped him get into his Halloween costume.

  “Because you never did that and I want you to feel the joy of the tradition”, she explained.

  “People only practice tradition when they’re too scared to abandon the old habits”, he said and left Selene with her mouth gaping.

  “Are you seriously eleven years old? Or are you just an old man inside a boy’s body?”

  Sam shrugged in a gesture that reminded her so much of Chris, she had to look away. It’d been five days since he left and there was no word from him, not even a text message. If he had stayed until October 30th, yesterday would’ve been the day of his and Jackson’s flight back. But Jackson still didn’t leave, because Annie talked him into staying two days longer, since she wanted to spend Halloween with him.

  He spent every day at Selene’s and Annie’s house, so Selene worked longer than usual in order to come home when he and Annie were already in bed, because he had already tried to talk to her about Chris numerous times. He tried to explain that Chris didn’t leave just like that, that it was a very urgent business matter, and that he wouldn’t leave her hanging out of the blue. The first time Jacks tried to convince her, she patiently listened to him and explained she wasn’t angry, but rather disappointed. Sure, she believed there was a problem in his company that demanded his immediate presence, but he could surely find a minute to text her or call her to say something, anything. Something like: Listen, I don’t think this will work. It’s been fun while it lasted. Goodbye, have a good life. If there was one thing she hated, it was the avoidance of honesty. After that argument, Jackson had nothing to add.

  Say what you mean and give a clean end to whatever relationship you have with someone without any pretensions, don’t simply disappear. No, she wasn’t angry; her pride was hurt. But maybe it was a good thing he left when he did, because if he had stayed a little longer, she would’ve fallen for him completely.

  Even if he came back again and wanted to continue their little arrangement, she would probably agree to that; a simple relationship based on physical pleasure and nothing else, but she would be the one to end it once she got enough. No dinners in her home, no spending time at the lake, no long walks in the town. It was the comfortable routine she got used to again, and exactly that routine shook the emotional wall she tried so hard to keep. But that wall didn’t break, and she intended to keep it that way.

  “Aren’t you going on a date?” Sam asked her, interrupting her thoughts, looking so adorable in his hobbit costume. She stood up, fake hobbit ears in her hand and pinned them on his head.

  “It isn’t a date, but I do have to go, later. I talked to the manager to prolong your curfew tonight. For all of you, actually.”

  The foster home manager was a middle-aged woman with a degree in social work, who loved the kids, was strict but fair, and helped them in every way possible. Some years ago, when the foster parents who used to be in charge of her former foster home left, the town’s authorities were unwilling to relocate the children, so they made an arrangement with the Child Protective Services to make it possible for kids to keep living there, under the management of a social worker.

  Even before that, those people who liked to call themselves ‘foster parents’ and demanded that the children call them that too were never their real legal guardians; they were just people who owned this big house and decided that they would be good citizens if they offered their home to orphaned children in exchange for some money. Ironic how they wanted to be good citizens, because they were most certainly not good people.

  “Well, I don’t want you to go”, Sam said and crossed his thin arms across his chest as he stared up at her defiantly.

  “Why not?” she asked him, knowing it should be an interesting argument, because quarrels with Sam were everything but boring. The kid had brains like you wouldn’t believe.

  “I don’t like Bruce.”

  “You don’t know Bruce”, she fired back.

  “He was building a house near the school playground this summer, and I accidentally kicked the ball on the construction yard. You know what happened then?”

  “What?” she asked, already smiling.

  “I never saw that ball again, Selene. He wouldn’t give it back”, Sam said, his voice dramatic.

  She burst out laughing and sat on his bed, pulling his arm to sit next to her.

  “I don’t think he kept the ball to himself. He’s too old to play with it anyway.”

  “It doesn’t matter. He did something to my ball, and didn’t give it back after I asked for it.”

  “Did you ask nicely?” she asked him and narrowed her eyes when he stayed quiet.

  “Or did you approach him with that ‘yo asshole’ attitude you often have?”

  “I maybe said some words that maybe pissed him off”, Sam said.

  “Uh-huh. What did you say, exactly?”

  “I called him Bob the Builder and told him he should get his tool belt off and give me my damn ball back.”

  Selene gasped, acting shocked, but the fact was – she found it funny. She wouldn’t let it show, though, because Sam needed very little encouragement for his antics.

  “And you’re surprised he didn’t give you your ball back? I wouldn’t either”, she told him and laughed quietly when she saw him roll his eyes, a habit he picked up from her.

  “Okay, fine. That’s not the main reason I don’t want you to go with him tonight. The truth is... Chris told me to keep an eye on you, especially when it comes to men”, he admitted.

  Her gut twisted a little, and her chest constricted from dull pain she felt.

  “When did he say that?”

  “When we were sitting in the school yard after Parents’ Day, before you joined us.”

  She gave him an affectionate smile, touched that Sam kept his word to Chris whom he saw as a friend.

  “You know, I’m really sorry Chris left so suddenly. I know you liked him”, she told him, her heart bleeding for this boy who had already lost too much in his life. Sam got up and stared at his reflection in the mirror.

  “It’s okay. I knew he was going to leave sooner or later”, he said, his voice quiet. She approached him and gave him a quick, tight hug, not really surprised that he didn’t return it; he disliked physical contact.

  “C’mon, let’s get you some treat
s”, she said and led the way out, where five more children, aged four to twelve, waited to go trick-or-treating.

  She promised the social worker she was going to bring them home by ten o’clock, so they had two hours or so. She inspected their costumes; a ghost, a witch, a pumpkin, an elf, a Darth Vader and finally Sam as a hobbit, and Selene herself as a mermaid. She chose a more modest costume than the usual two-piece, skin revealing version; hers was more like a dress with a silver upper part that covered her breasts and tight, shiny, green lower part that looked like fish scales flared at her feet, giving it a real mermaid look. She wore a coat over it to protect her bare arms, and ankle boots on her feet. Mountainview was known for its cold fall nights, and this was actually the first Halloween without snow in a long time.

  She guessed the lack of snow encouraged everyone to go out and have some fun, because the town was swarming with people. She led the kids from house to house, entertained by their stories about school, hide and seek games they played regularly in the foster home, and other things they told her enthusiastically. She made sure she gave her attention to every child, because they seemed so eager to share their stories with someone. They made her smile, laugh, and feel genuinely happy like only kids could do. Their joy for each new candy they got almost made her cry. She really enjoyed her time with those young, innocent beings. That’s why she was sad when the clock showed 9:50 p.m. and she had to take them home.

  “Will you read me a story?” a cute little voice asked her when they reached the front door of the foster home. Barbara, nicknamed Barbie, was a four-year-old sweetie, cute as a button in her pumpkin costume. She stared at her with wide brown eyes that made Selene kneel down and hug the little girl.

  “I can’t tonight, but I promise I’ll come tomorrow, okay?” she told her and her heart melted when the girl wrapped her tiny arms around her neck, returning the hug.

  “Okay, ‘Lene”, Barbara said, still unable to pronounce Selene’s name correctly. Most often it came out as ‘Thelene’, and it was so freaking adorable.

  She rushed the kids inside, until only Sam stood with her outside.

  “Did you have fun?” she asked him, anxious to hear his opinion.

  “Yeah. It was okay”, he answered nonchalantly, but she could see his eyes twinkling with excitement.

  “I’m very happy to hear that. See you tomorrow, buddy”, she told him, her hand on his shoulder. This was a progress; he didn’t flinch or stiffen now when she touched him or hugged him. But he still never returned it, and she could understand why. Her heart went out to him.

  “Be careful tonight, okay?” he told her, sounding way too mature again. He did that often, displaying a sort of wisdom that only came from experiencing a lot.

  “I will, I promise.”

  He only nodded, his gaze darting between her and the front door. He exhaled loudly and climbed the stairs.

  “Hey, Sam”, she called him, feeling the need to say what was on her soul. He turned around and raised his eyebrow.

  “I won’t leave, you know that, right?” she asked him, knowing he’d understand. His only answer was a light smile on his lips and a weak nod.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Selene made her way to the pub where the party took place. When Bruce had asked her earlier where she would like to go, she didn’t really want it to look like a real date, more like a casual encounter. So, she told him they should attend the party, which she already knew was going to be a blast. He cheerfully agreed, despite her very obvious attempt at avoiding a date per se. The truth was, she didn’t want to lead him on and she was going to be honest with him.

  She only agreed to go out with him because Chris’s text shook her deeply, and in her anger she wanted to do something that would make Chris mad if he ever found out. Which was a completely wrong reason to go out with someone, and it wasn’t one of her best moments.

  The pub was packed, almost every table surrounded by people dressed in either amazing or silly costumes; some were trashy, some were extremely realistic (a bodybuilder in Hulk’s costume that didn’t look like a costume at all), and some were simply brilliant. She squeezed her way through the crowd, returning the numerous greetings and shout outs. Bruce was sitting at the bar, the chair next to him empty, waiting for her. She approached him and burst out laughing when she saw his costume. He turned around when he heard her laughter and gave her a wide smile.

  “I’m not very imaginative, am I?” he asked.

  “No, but it’s perfect”, she still chuckled, taking in his plaid shirt, washed out jeans, a tool belt with plastic tools around his waist and a yellow construction helmet. She guessed Sam wasn’t too far off when he said Bruce was Bob the Builder.

  “So are you”, he told her with a stunning smile, waving a hand at the chair next to him.

  She took her seat and blushed at his comment. Any woman who says a compliment from a handsome man doesn’t impress her is full of shit. No matter if you’re attracted to the guy or not, hearing kind words always makes you feel better.

  “I like your hair”, he told her. Since she was going for all that Ariel the mermaid look, she blow-dried her hair, making it look wavy and giving it big volume.

  “Thank you. I like your helmet”, she said and knocked on the hard material, making him laugh. She ordered a Sloe Gin, reminding herself that she should go easy with that drink, since it had the habit of knocking her out if she drank too much. But it was her favorite and tonight she deserved some relaxation.

  “I know it’s Saturday and we shouldn’t be talking about work, but I have to ask you. Where did you come up with the idea of making a resort here in Mountainview?” he asked her, and she actually appreciated the question.

  “I just saw the potential that is still not used up. We have amazing people, incredible nature and a very attractive location that lures people in. And winter tourism is something that keeps on growing. So why not use it and make this town better?” she shortly explained, noticing his admiring gaze. He raised his beer and nodded.

  “Here’s to your courage”, he toasted.

  “Here’s to your company that will make it come true”, she returned the toast and tapped his pint with her glass.

  “I’ll be honest with you, Selene. I invited you out in the hopes of this being a date. I like you as a mayor, and as a woman. I hope this won’t be our only night out”, he said. Selene imagined banging her head against the wall, because this was exactly what she was trying to avoid, and the worst part was – she brought it on herself. Honesty, right?

  “Bruce, I –”, she began, but got interrupted by an excited scream.

  “There she is!” Annie yelled and hugged her from behind, like she hadn’t seen her for years.

  Jackson stood behind her, looking serious. She nodded to greet him, but he looked at Bruce and then at her with his eyebrow raised. She rolled her eyes in response; it was obvious he was still seeing her as his best friend’s fling or whatever. When Selene had finally had enough of Jackson’s excuses on Chris’s behalf, Annie promised to surround her private areas with barbed wire and never let Jacks touch her again, unless he kept quiet about Swanky. Her words, not Selene’s. However, that definitely shut Jacks up, but it obviously didn’t change his attitude.

  “And what are you supposed to be?” Selene asked her, inspecting her long white gown with a deep cleavage and a long slit up her legs. She wore a golden chain around her head and a golden bracelet on her wrist.

  “A Greek goddess, duh.”

  “I don’t think they had cleavages that deep”, Selene teased her.

  It seemed like Jackson agreed with her, since he kept frowning at Annie’s dress and the looks it earned from other men. He seemed jealous and territorial, so much like Chris. But he was going to leave soon too, and Selene reminded herself to talk to Annie again and see if she got too attached to Jackson.

  “Bruce Springsteen?” she asked Jackson, who wore a simple white t-shirt, jeans and a red hat tucked in his back pocket
.

  “The one”, he said, still looking angry at her.

  “He’s too pretty to pull it off, but oh-kay”, Annie commented and squealed when Jacks pinched her behind.

  “Bruce, meet your temporary namesake. This is Jackson, and this is my best friend Annie”, Selene introduced them, remembering Bruce was here. Annie waved at him with a brilliant smile, and Selene knew she approved his looks. Jackson held out his hand to shake Bruce’s, and judging by Bruce’s frown he squeezed it too hard.

  He then excused himself to take a call outside, and Selene used the chance to whisper furiously to her best friend.

  “Tell your boyfriend to calm his ass, or I’ll do it for him”, she said.

  Bruce got up from his chair to offer Annie to sit.

  “Annie, I’m sorry for taking your best friend with me, but I have to dance with her”, he charmingly said, and Annie grinned in approval.

  Selene got a little panicked, since she still hasn’t told him that this can only be a friendship, and not something more like Bruce hoped. Dancing with him on a soft ballad surely wouldn’t send the right message.

  “I’m really not good with slow dancing”, she told him the lame excuse he surely must’ve read through.

  “Please”, he asked her. How the hell was she supposed to say no to a nice request?

  “Okay”, she gave in and let him take her hand and lead her to the dance floor, where he wrapped his hands around her waist, which left her no choice but to put her own on his wide shoulders. He didn’t hold her too close and too tight, which she was grateful for.

  “Listen, Bruce. I think you’re a wonderful man, but –”, she began finally, but he interrupted her with a smile and a headshake.

  “But there’s someone else”, he finished for her. That wasn’t what she wanted to say, but it was partially true.

  “There is. Was. I don’t know.”

  “I noticed you weren’t interested in me that way, but a man’s gotta try. I hope that guy deserves your affection”, he told her. She shook her head, Chris on her mind.