by Shay Savage
I lay down on the couch and stared at the kitchen remodeling show that was on. I wasn’t actually listening to it, but staring at the moving screen was at least enough to lull me a little. I closed my eyes and tried to take slow, calm breaths.
The phone rang, and I looked down at the unfamiliar number. I didn’t usually answer when the number was unknown, preferring to let it go to voice mail and calling back whoever it was later if the call was legitimately for me. However, I was hoping for a call from Nate’s recruiter, and I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to talk to him, so I answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey, is this Chloe?” The voice on the other end was vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it.
“Yes,” I answered tentatively.
“Chloe, this is Redeye. I was hoping maybe you could spare a little time to chat with me.”
Oh, shit.
It was completely unexpected, and I considered just hanging up. If Lo had called, I might have been less shocked, but I also would have recognized the number. I’d added it to my phone just in case I ever needed it before throwing away the card he had given me.
“You still there?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Would it be all right if we talked?” he asked again.
“Um…well, I guess so,” I said. “What about?”
As if you don’t know.
“It’s about Hunter,” Redeye confirmed. “I know you all didn’t exactly part under the best of circumstances, but I’m at my wit’s end here. I’m about to give up hope.”
As his words and tone sank into me, my fingers and toes went numb. I almost dropped the phone. Had something horrible happened to Aiden?
“What’s wrong with him?” I asked.
“It’s not good,” Redeye said.
A thousand things went through my head. Had he gone to jail as I had suspected he might? Was I going to be subpoenaed as a witness? What would I say to a judge about what I had seen? What if he’d gotten away from the police, gone after those people again, and been shot? What if he was dead?
My hand started to shake, and I switched the phone to the other one.
No, that couldn’t be it. He had tried to call me—I just hadn’t answered. Besides, Redeye wasn’t talking about him in the past tense. I took a deep breath as Redeye continued.
“Well, I’m not sure exactly what’s wrong,” Redeye said. “He won’t talk to me. He won’t talk to anyone, which is why I was hoping you could help.”
The words were far from what I was expecting. He wouldn’t talk to anyone? What did that even mean? Why would Redeye reach out to me anyway? Was he now trying to pull me into whatever the hell was going on?
I was not going to be made a fool of again.
“I really don’t think I want to talk to him,” I said definitively. I sat up straight on the couch. The distance between Redeye and me and the impersonal vibe a phone call creates made me feel braver than I would have felt in person. “In fact, I’m sure I don’t.”
“I was afraid of that.” Redeye sighed. “I was just thinking you might be the only one who can get through to him right now.”
“Why would I do that?” I asked. “The last time I saw him, he was waving a gun around at people, and that’s not really the kind of thing I need in my life right now.”
“Yes, I can understand how you would see it that way.”
“That’s how I see it,” I confirmed. “So I wish you all the best, but-”
He cut me off.
“Please hear me out,” he said. “Just for a minute, Chloe.”
I paused and swallowed past the lump in my throat.
“All right,” I said, relenting, “but I’m not agreeing to do anything other than listen.”
“I can live with that,” he agreed. “Just promise you’ll listen with an open mind.”
“I’ll listen,” I repeated. “I can’t promise anything else.”
“Well, I’ll take what I can get.”
I could hear him taking a few breaths on the other end and realized I was breathing along with him. I wiped my sweaty palm on my thigh and switched phone hands again.
“Hunter’s one of my best friends, Chloe,” Redeye said. “I can’t imagine what you think is going on, but I can assure you that you don’t know the whole story.”
“What is the whole story?” I asked.
“Well, frankly that isn’t mine to tell,” he said. “Even if it was, we’d be on the phone all night. As it is, what I can tell you is this—that boy was different when you were there with him, different than he’s been for years. I was fucking thrilled to death when you showed up on his arm, and I could tell he was, too. He needs someone like you in his life.”
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I don’t think I can do that, not after everything else.”
“Well, yeah, I understand that.” Redeye paused, and I could hear him sigh another deep breath. “The thing is, he really needs someone right now. No one has been able to get through to him. Lance and I even went over there and broke into the damn house, but he wouldn’t talk to us. He just sits there.”
“Sits where?”
“In that back room filled with his kid’s stuff,” Redeye said.
With everything else that had happened, I’d forgotten all about my discovery in Aiden’s back bedroom. Redeye’s words were the first real confirmation that Aiden had a child.
“He hasn’t gone out, hasn’t gone to work—nothing. He just sits in that room, holding on to some stuffed animal and not talking. I don’t think he’s even eating anything. He’s just shut down, Chloe, and I don’t know what else to do. I’d haul him to a damn hospital if I didn’t think he’d kill me for the effort.”
He let out a short, humorless laugh as an image filled my head—an image of Aiden in that small room, surrounded by boxes and refusing to talk or eat. Why would he do that? Because of me? No, that couldn’t be it. We’d only been together a week. There had to be something else.
“I…I don’t know how I could be of any help,” I admitted.
“I’ve known Hunter a long time,” Redeye said, “and I’m almost positive he’d open up to you. We all talked about it, and we think you’re the only one who can get through to him. We even took up a collection to get your plane ticket and shit.”
“We?”
“Me, Lo and Mo, Lance—everybody,” he said. “We all saw the same thing in him that night you guys were here. We all saw how different he was with you. Lance said you all were even getting it on in the jeep, and that’s just unheard of for him. You really mean something to him, girl.”
I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t seem to even open my mouth.
“He’ll open up to you,” Redeye continued. “I know he will.”
“I…I don’t know,” I said quietly.
“He needs you, Chloe. He fucking needs you.”
“I can’t,” I whispered, shaking my head. The image of Aiden, broken and alone, continued to invade my mind. I felt pressure behind my eyes and blinked a few times.
“Please, Chloe—I’m begging you. We’re out of options here. We don’t have anyone else to turn to.”
Redeye might as well have been holding out a shot glass because he was not to be deterred. Unfortunately, I didn’t have anyone else to take the drink for me. I had Aiden for that before. He’d stepped in for me, knowing I couldn’t handle it all on my own. He’d been there for me.
He had taken the shots for me.
He had been there with me when we fell from the sky.
He held me in the sand and showed me what was really important in life.
He didn’t have to do any of that. He’d taken me out of my sheltered world and taught me that there wasn’t anything to fear out there and that risks were just a part of living. He’d done all of that for me and I was…I was…
I was grateful.
He’d changed me. Regardless of what kind of mess he was caught up in, he’d changed me for
the better.
Was I really going to turn my back on him now?
There’s more to the story than I know.
I wanted to know the rest. I owed him that much.
“All right,” I whispered. “I’ll come down there.”
And with that, I called in sick and headed back to Miami.
SIXTEEN
“I can’t tell you how glad I am that you agreed to do this, Chloe.” Redeye tossed my luggage into the back of his car. “Lance is going to meet us there. Hunter’s in bad shape, Chloe. I hope you can get through to him.”
“I’ll do what I can,” I said. I climbed into the car and buckled my seatbelt.
He pulled away from the terminal and headed to the highway. I couldn’t help but think of my ride with Aiden on the motorcycle. The route wasn’t exactly the same—Redeye took the highways more than the back roads—but similar enough to evoke the memory of holding tightly to Aiden’s body as we sped down the streets.
Redeye focused on his driving and didn’t talk much, which was fine with me. I could barely believe I was back here already, planning to see the man I had run away from just…how long had it been? Eighteen days. Eighteen says since I ran from Aiden in the parking lot. Eighteen days since I had decided to close the book on that chapter of my life.
Thoughts of returning had been the furthest thing from my mind. I wanted to forget it all. I wanted to pretend it never happened. But I hadn’t forgotten. Not only did I remember, but I also knew how much I had changed because of it. Aiden had shown me something inside of myself I didn’t realize was there, and I was grateful to him for it.
Drug dealer or not, I couldn’t just ignore him if he really needed someone. I didn’t know what I was going to find, but the image of Aiden, broken and alone in the back room of his house, continued to haunt my thoughts.
I began to recognize the houses on the side of the road, and I rolled down my window to smell the ocean breeze. Another block down, I saw the bright flowers that lined the property, and I knew we were close. As Redeye pulled into the driveway, I recognized Lance, sitting on the retaining wall near the front door. He stood up as we approached.
“No answer?” Redeye asked as soon as he opened the car door.
“None,” Lance said with a shake of his head. “He’s in there, I’m sure. The jeep and his bike are in the garage, but he won’t answer.”
Lance turned to me and gave me a hug.
“Thanks for coming, Chloe,” he said as he patted my back. “It means a lot to us.”
“You’re welcome,” I replied automatically. Lance released me, and I took a quick glance between him and Redeye. I was touched by how close Aiden and his friends seemed to be. There was no doubt Lance and Redeye’s concern was genuine, not that I had doubted it. After all, they’d paid for my plane ticket to come back down here. The loyalty and friendship they shared with Aiden was so evident, I wasn’t sure what I could do that they could not.
“We going to go through the back again?” Redeye asked.
“Yeah. Mo disabled the alarm system.”
“Good. I hate that fucking alarm.”
I followed them both to the back of the house, trying to push the memories away as I only let myself glance at the patio furniture and beach view. Though it hadn’t been that long, it seemed like ages ago when I was last here, believing the only thing that was wrong was my own inhibitions.
Lance and Redeye went up to the sliding glass door that led into the house. They pressed against the glass, lifted it up to disengage the door from the track at the bottom, and slid it to one side. They made it look easy, and I considered making a comment about their breaking-and-entering skills but decided against it.
“Mo and Lo had to work the football game today,” Redeye said, “or they’d be here, too. They’ll come by when the game is over. They’re real anxious to see you.”
“Football game?” I asked.
“Yeah, they have a security business. I thought you knew that.”
“I guess I did.” However, I hadn’t thought of their jobs as something that would involve football games. I pictured them in the back room of a seedy bar, standing behind Aiden and protecting him from any drug deals that might go bad. Checking backpacks for unauthorized beer didn’t fit the impression I had at all.
Lance walked in first, heading straight for the little hallway off the living room. He came back a moment later and pointed over his shoulder with his thumb.
“He’s still in there.”
“Is he okay?” Redeye asked.
“As good as he was the last time.”
Redeye let out a long breath.
“I guess this is where you come in,” he said to me. “We’ll stay out on the patio. Holler if you need us.”
He placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
“Good luck,” he added.
I nodded and walked into the house, maneuvering past the boxes in the living room and then into the hall. I glanced into the weight room and bathroom as I went by, but all was quiet in there. The last door was open this time, and I could see a patch of sunlight in the doorway. I peeked my head around slowly, peering inside.
The scene before me wasn’t unlike the image I already had in my head.
Aiden was up against the wall in the far corner of the room, surrounded by boxes and a few empty beer bottles. His beard, usually meticulously trimmed to the same length as his hair, was scraggly and reached down his neck. He sat just beneath the window with his knees drawn up to his chest and his head resting against the drywall, staring straight ahead. There was a plush horse in his hand.
He didn’t look up. As far as I knew, he had no idea I was even there.
I took a few steps into the room and then stopped.
“Aiden?”
He didn’t move.
“Aiden?” I said again.
He moved his head slightly and shifted his gaze from the space in front of him to his hands. I watched him for a moment before speaking again.
“Will you talk to me?” I asked. “Everyone is really worried about you.”
He closed his eyes and then opened them again as he looked at me blankly. I watched him wet his lips with his tongue before he looked back to the stuffed horse.
“Trying to figure out if you are actually here,” Aiden said in a raspy voice, “or if I’ve totally lost it.”
He continued to look at the horse in his hand.
“I’m here,” I told him.
“Why?” he asked.
“Redeye called me. He said…well, he said you weren’t doing too well.”
“Did he?” His tone was mechanical, monotonous—soulless.
“Yes.” I took a few more steps into the room. “Aiden, what’s going on?”
“I kept hearing your voice,” he said. “I kept hearing you cry, and then I’d see you running away. I knew I’d fucked it all up so bad. I didn’t mean to, but I did.”
He looked at me again.
“I lost you,” he said flatly. “I fucked it up, and I lost you.”
I had no idea what to say. If this all came down to Redeye convincing me to come here because Aiden was pining over me…well, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I wasn’t prepared to tell him I’d come back to make up with him. The strange thing was, in the past I probably would have. I would have made up with him and played along just to keep him from being sad, but Aiden had changed me—I wasn’t that person anymore. I wasn’t going to tell him everything was all right between us, because it wasn’t.
I wasn’t entirely sure what I was hoping to accomplish.
“Redeye said you were in bad shape,” I said. “He thought maybe you’d talk to me.”
Aiden was looking at his hands again, twirling the stuffed horse around with his fingers. I wasn’t sure if he had heard me.
“This was his favorite,” Aiden said quietly. “It wasn’t even his. He went to this daycare for a while when Megan was working. He was two years old then. He
’d walk around with this horse every day and throw a fit when it was time to go home because he had to leave it behind. They started letting him take it home at night, and eventually I just bought a new horse and traded with the daycare so he could keep this one.”
He chuckled dryly.
“Megan was so pissed I had spent money on the replacement. It was only ten bucks, but we were having trouble paying the bills. He loved this thing so much, though. I didn’t want to ask the daycare to just give it to him. That didn’t seem right.”
I took the last few steps across the room and knelt beside Aiden. The muscles in his arm flexed as I reached out to lay my hand on his shoulder. He stopped spinning the toy.
“You didn’t tell me you had a son,” I said quietly.
“I know.” Aiden’s shoulders rose and fell as he breathed. “I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Why not?” I ran my hand down his arm before lacing our fingers together. He stared at our interlocked hands for a long moment before he spoke.
“Because if I tell you, then I also have to tell you why he’s not here.”
I’d considered a few different possibilities and wasn’t surprised to hear Aiden’s reasoning. The most logical conclusion I had drawn was that Cayden had been taken away from Aiden after Megan had died. I figured whatever illegal activity Aiden was involved in had caused him to lose custody.
“Don’t you think maybe I deserved to know about it?” I asked.
“Yeah, probably,” he agreed.
“Probably?”
“It’s not that easy.” He sat back and bumped his head against the wall a couple of times before he looked in my direction again. He didn’t meet my eyes. “I liked you…I really liked you. I was…I was afraid if you knew everything that was going on, you would run.”
He shook his head.
“I fucked it up. I should have told you.”
I wasn’t sure whether it would have mattered. If he had told me he was into illegal activity…if he had told me there was a gun in the jeep, I wasn’t so sure I wouldn’t have just run anyway. Aiden’s having a child from a previous relationship didn’t seem as big a deal as it might have been otherwise.
