Awakened

by Amy Brock McNew

  Rhys raised his head after licking his mark. He ran his tongue along his lips, taking her blood into him. Fire flickered in his eyes. “Feel me, Makenna.” He pulled out, then thrust hard. “Remember who holds you. Who fucks you. Who owns you.”

  A blast of denial shot through her. He slammed his mouth down on hers, silencing her protest. Their tongues battled for control. It was the only way she had of fighting his declaration.

  He held her tight as he powered into her. “I’m the one you run to. Depend on. The one who’ll show you the ways of this world. The only one who can give you what you want, what you need.”

  Makenna leaned her head back against the tree. She couldn’t deny what he said. He was her link. The reason she was in this new world. She loved and hated him for it. She’d never had anyone to depend on. Wasn’t sure she was capable of the trust required for a successful mating. Was terrified of truly letting herself love him, give him everything. Especially when, despite his words and actions, she couldn’t get rid of the doubt of why he’d claimed her to begin with.

  “No.” Rhys clenched a hand in her hair. “No thinking. Just feel.”

  He fucked her harder. Her back scraped the tree, but it just drove her higher. She fought falling over. Fought submitting to how he made her feel.

  Rhys growled. “Don’t hold back from me, Kenna. I’ve given you everything. I won’t settle for less from you.” He twisted his hips, and her eyes rolled back in her head.

  Still Makenna fought. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She forced the doubts from her mind and focused on the intense pleasure tinged with pain. Flame erupted inside, pinpointing in one spot. So close to falling over that peak. She could take the ecstasy he offered without submitting. Grab this moment of closeness without giving any more of herself than she already had.

  “Rhys, please.” She clawed at his shoulders, drawing him closer. Moving with him, she now fought to fall over that cliff. Fought to forget.

  “Admit it.” He stopped, and she growled. Buried deep inside her, he wound her hair around his fist. “Admit you’re mine.” Rhys lowered his head and rumbled against her neck. “Give me your throat.”

  Makenna froze. The last time she’d done that, just days ago, she hadn’t really understood what it meant. Then, it had been a way to apologize. A way to appease him. In this moment, she fully grasped the significance.

  The trust to give him what he wanted didn’t exist in her.

  “Kenna.” He pressed inside her. Hard. “I’m your mate. I love you. I deserve all of you.” There was sadness in his voice.

  She didn’t want to hurt him. “Rhys, I─” Her voice broke along with her heart.

  “Everything I have, everything I am, is yours.” His teeth grazed her skin, pushing her closer to the edge. He nipped. “I won’t beg. And I won’t take what you won’t give willingly.”

  The tears flowed, even as that pinnacle slid closer. He asked too much. Her world was in upheaval. A world she hadn’t asked for. A world that had brought pain and heartache right along with the pleasure and power. She’d learned from experience she was the only one she could completely count on. A lifetime of learned behavior couldn’t be undone in a few short months.

  Not even by the male, the force of nature, who held her.

  Bowen’s words echoed in her mind. Don’t let him slip away from you. Guard your mating. But she couldn’t stop what was happening. Couldn’t hang on tight enough. Couldn’t ask Rhys to hang on to someone who couldn’t be what he wanted. What he needed.

  Rhys growled and started to move again. But through the pleasure, she felt his agony. She’d cut him deep. Hurt her mate. It was the last thing she’d wanted.

  Her thoughts slipped away as her body tightened, remorse and pain swept away by a wave of lust and desire. A need to reach completion that tore into her. Makenna screamed as she broke. She held his head to her skin as she rode the tide. He roared, a mixture of ecstasy and agony, as he joined her.

  The haze of desire faded as they clung to each other. What should’ve been a time of reveling in what they’d experienced was tainted by her refusal. She’d denied him what was rightfully his. And she couldn’t fully explain it to herself, let alone the man she loved.

  Yes, she loved him. But apparently, not enough to give him all of her. She’d thought at one point she had. Recent events had shown her that was far from the truth. He’d probably known for a while, on some level. It would explain his withdrawal.

  Makenna tightened her hold on Rhys. She wanted to give him what he deserved. Wanted to give him all of her. But she couldn’t. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

  Rhys trembled as he kissed the mark on her shoulder. When he raised his head, the heartbreaking look in his eyes flayed her to the bone.

  Makenna cupped his scarred, strong jaw with her hand. “Rhys, I love─”

  “Don’t.” He lowered her to her feet and gathered her clothes. He handed them to her, then zipped his jeans. “Don’t say what you don’t mean, Makenna.” The fact he used her full name sliced almost as deep as his words.

  Her wolf whined. The raven cawed. Even the goddess was pissed at her. Makenna had to take some of that hurt away. She tugged her jeans on. “But I do─”

  “I said don’t!” She jumped at the harsh words. Rhys turned toward camp. “I’ll give you time. But I won’t wait forever.” He took a ragged breath. “There’s a way to,” he cleared his throat. He continued, lapsing into a brogue. “If you decide this is no’ what you want, I’m no’ what you want...The mating can be dissolved, since our bond isn’t finalized. It’s strong magic. Bowen would have to gather the mages to accomplish it. But it can be done. If you choose.”

  Makenna’s heart raced. For him to offer— had she just killed whatever they’d had?

  Rhys took a few steps, then paused. “I love you, Makenna. Always will. But I won’t force you to spend eternity with me.” He raised his chin. “And I won’t be bound to someone who canno’ trust me.”

  As he walked away, Makenna sank to the ground, clutching her shirt. His scent heavy on her skin. The fire still present from his touch. Her heart was as cold as the frozen tundra.

  What had she done?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Deal With the Devil

  “Amanda, you with me?” Reagan nudged Amanda’s shoulder.

  Everything was going to shit. Fast. And she had no idea how to stop it. Especially when she was the cause of most of it. Probably all of it, if she were being honest.

  If she couldn’t get Brianna to lift the spell, she’d have to leave. Soon.

  Amanda smiled at Reagan, putting on the face she’d gotten used to wearing. The one that hid all the crap she couldn’t afford for everyone to see. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

  Reagan narrowed her eyes. “Looked like you were thinking a bit too hard.”

  Of course she was.

  Trystan had blown whatever they’d had to hell. And she’d helped. Then he’d lost it, whether from Brianna’s spell or Amanda’s harsh words, she wasn’t sure. Maybe a combination. He and Makenna had gone behind all their backs. As a result of that and a whole bunch of other shit, Rhys and Makenna were at each other’s throats. Neither of them had come down for breakfast, and when she’d seen them later, they’d been doing their best to keep their distance. The discord between them leaked into the pack link, making everyone nervous. Unsettled.

  The bitch they were holding prisoner only compounded that unease.

  Then there was the threat of Kylian haunting them all.

  The entire pack was on edge. Bound together by a fragile thread that was quickly fraying. And Brianna seemed to be at the center, a pair of scissors in her hand.

  Amanda shook the thoughts away and rinsed the bowl in her hand. Placing it in the dishwasher, she faced Reagan and faked yet another smile. When was the last time she’d smiled genuinely? “Just a lot going on. But it’ll be fine.” She turned to leave the kitchen. “It has to be,” she whispered.

  Reagan caug
ht her, grabbing her shoulder. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

  Amanda patted Reagan’s hand without turning around. “I know. I appreciate it.” No way would she burden Reagan. She’d hurt enough people already. Caused enough damage.

  Besides, if Reagan knew just how fucked up their family was, she’d drop her pursuit of Talon in a heartbeat. Amanda wanted her brother happy. Reagan would make him happy. She was his mate, there was no doubt in Amanda’s mind. If she couldn’t do anything else good, she’d do everything in her power to see Reagan and Talon together before she left.

  Said brother walked in as Amanda slipped into the dining room. She turned, partially hidden behind the door, to watch as Talon cautiously approached Reagan. Reagan crossed her arms, eyes narrowed. What had he done now? Amanda shook her head. Sometimes her brother could be the dumbest creature in the realm.

  Talon spoke so low, Amanda couldn’t hear. But whatever he said must’ve been the right thing. Reagan launched herself at him. Talon caught her, a huge grin splitting his face. He pivoted, backing her into the wall. Amanda smiled and turned away as he lowered his head to kiss Reagan.

  At least someone in her life was happy.

  Lost in her plans of how she’d get out of here if Brianna didn’t cooperate, Amanda didn’t see the wall of muscle or even sense Trystan until she ran smack into him. As usual, fire spread from where her hands made contact with his chest to every part of her body. Pinpointing in an area she’d rather not think about. And really didn’t want him to pick up on.

  “Trystan. Sorry.” She jerked her hands back as if they’d been burnt. In a sense they had. She moved to dodge around him and he caught her arm. Another sizzle. She closed her eyes, fighting the ache for him that wouldn’t go away.

  Trystan stepped in front of her. His hand gentled on her arm. He caressed down to her wrist before releasing her. She let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

  He straightened and cleared his throat, apparently needing to collect himself as well. His blazing eyes suddenly went blank, his expression unreadable. “Rhys wants us to meet with Brianna.” He growled low at her name. “Today’s the day.” His gaze clouded.

  A shiver skittered through Amanda. “What─?” Excitement crackled in her chest, then she sobered. “Oh. You don’t think she’ll do it. Lift the spell.” Figured he’d given up on her.

  Trystan snapped to attention, his face hard. “She’ll lift the spell. I’ll see to that.”

  She met his eyes. The vow there had her heart bouncing in her chest before she could stop it. “Then what’s the problem?”

  Trystan looked away, then back to her. His face like granite. His green eyes a darker shade. “I’m not sure how things are going to go.” Determination settled into every line on his rugged face. “You need to stay back, behind one of us. Until we know what she’s going to do.”

  Amanda gritted her teeth. “Don’t tell me what to do, Trystan.”

  His eyes flared. “I’m your Beta, Manda. You’ll obey my orders.” His look softened, and he started to reach for her, then pulled back, clenching his fist. “Even if I wasn’t, you have to be protected.” Pain flickered, then was gone.

  His nickname for her made her madder than the fact he was dictating her actions. Treating her like a weak, defenseless pup. She snarled. Maybe she was weak right now. But she wasn’t defenseless. She didn’t need his protection.

  “Her magic is bound. She can’t hurt me.” Amanda quirked her brow. “I think I proved that the other day.”

  Trystan’s jaw twitched. She felt his impulse to turn her over his knee through that stupid bond that still wanted to form. She’d deny her excitement at the idea until the day she died.

  “We’ll have to lift part of the block for her to heal you.” He forced the words through his tight jaw. “You’ll stay behind us until it’s over.”

  “Whatever.” Amanda’s ponytail flipped over her shoulder as she whirled for the door. She couldn’t spend another minute in his presence. She didn’t know whether to punch him or jump him, ripping clothes until she found flesh.

  Trystan spun her by her shoulders. He pulled his head back and caught her fist as it instinctively powered toward his face. Twisting her arm behind her, he tugged her against him. He wasn’t hurting her. Oh, he was careful. Too careful. He held her like she was fragile glass, seconds from breaking.

  Heat rushed through her. The son of a bitch.

  Trystan lowered his face to hers as he deftly quelled her struggle. “Don’t test me, Amanda.” His eyes flashed wolf, and his animal growled at her.

  She felt him pushing Trystan to take her. To own. To claim. Her eyes widened. He was fighting his wolf by denying her. Why? Did her weakness disgust him that much? Did he not feel the same urge? Or did he just not want to feel it for some reason? Whatever his excuse, it didn’t matter. She was done with him.

  Amanda raised her chin, determined not to let him see her heart breaking. Or the effect he still had, would probably always have on her.

  He growled. Then dropped his mouth to that spot behind her ear he knew drove her crazy. His breath was warm, his lips soft as he gently kissed her skin. “You have to be safe, Amanda. I can’t allow any more hurt to touch you.” He kissed her neck and they both shivered.

  The urge to reach for more was so fierce it hurt. It was a physical pain in her gut. Her chest. Her body ached for him. Her heart beat for him. And her wolf would’ve been clawing at Amanda to lead him upstairs and take what was hers.

  But her wolf wasn’t here. Maybe never would be again.

  And Trystan didn’t want her. Even though she felt the urge ripple through his body. This wasn’t happening because he wanted it to, it was simply nature. So close to their destined mate, their bodies had minds of their own. As did their wolves. At least, his wolf.

  Amanda jerked away. He let her go.

  Trystan straightened and took several deep breaths. Then his face turned to stone again. “We need to go.” He walked out the door.

  Amanda took a few seconds to still her racing heart before she followed. She kept pace behind him, forcing her thoughts to what was about to happen and away from the terrorizing force in front of her. When they reached the cabin, he paused before opening the door.

  “Remember what I said.”

  She seriously considered throwing another punch. But she resisted and sauntered inside.

  Amanda’s eyes slowly adjusted to the dark. Something else she’d had to get used to. Bowen and Rhys stood on either side of Brianna. Makenna glared at them from across the room. Her eyes glowed, but at least they were wolf and not goddess. That freaking goddess scared the shit out of Amanda. At least, when Makenna didn’t have control of her.

  That made two sisters Amanda wasn’t sure if she could trust. Fucking fabulous.

  Movement in the corner caught her eye. Two other mages, Dalton and one she recognized as one of the new additions to the pack, stood a few feet behind Bowen. Backup. For when they took off the binding on Brianna’s magic. More people to be put in jeopardy because of Amanda.

  She couldn’t help but notice the subdued air around Brianna. Or the wounds all over her. Amanda shot a questioning glance at Trystan. He shrugged. Then he eyed Makenna, having a silent conversation. A chill crawled up her spine. But she couldn’t worry about what was going on with everyone else. She had one goal here.

  Amanda faced Brianna. Her sister smiled. It seemed sincere, but Amanda didn’t trust it. Brianna was evil. If she lifted the spell, it’d be for her own gain, not out of sisterly love.

  Rhys turned to Brianna. “It’s time to prove yourself.”

  Brianna eyed Rhys, her look brimming with hunger. Makenna growled. Brianna rolled her eyes. “As I said, I need a show of faith. Assurances my good will is being reciprocated. I don’t fancy being tortured again.” Her eyes fell on Trystan and he gave a sadistic grin.

  That answered one question.

  Rhys moved to block Brianna’s view o
f Trystan. His face was hard, something flickering in his eyes. A pain Amanda didn’t understand. He squared his shoulders, wiping the expression from his face. Before her eyes, he became all Alpha, all king.

  “Agreed. With the caveats we discussed.”

  At Rhys’ words, Trystan and Makenna growled and moved forward. A sharp look from Rhys and a blanket of Alpha vibes stopped them. Makenna’s eyes flashed gold, promising.

  He’d pay for that decision.

  Regret fell over Rhys for a fraction of a second before he wiped it away.

  Bowen stepped forward. His shoulders sagged as he took in the tension around him. He caught Amanda’s gaze and gave her a small, hopeful smile.

  Makenna spoke through clenched teeth. “Rhys, I need to talk to you for a minute.”

  Rhys didn’t even look at her. “No more talking. It’s done.”

  Makenna snarled, but stayed where she was. Trystan looked her way and nodded. Makenna smiled. It wasn’t even close to being pleasant. Amanda shivered.

  In the next few moments, she could have her wolf back and feel her magic again. She was almost too scared to hope. She could be whole. Be herself again.

  Rhys motioned to Bowen, who began chanting. He glared at Brianna. “Any indication you’re using your magic for anything other than lifting the spell from Amanda, and you will die. Painfully.” There was a vicious edge to his voice that had Amanda stepping back.

  Makenna laughed low. Her eyes glowed gold and crimson light emitted from her hands.

  Amanda swallowed hard. She moved when Rhys motioned for her. Rhys took her hand, keeping her several feet from Brianna.

  Brianna sighed. “I need to touch her. Which means you’ll have to cut my hands loose.” She wriggled them in their bonds and smiled at Amanda. “I promise I won’t bite.”

  Trystan was instantly at Amanda’s side, as was Makenna. Trystan growled, low and menacing. “You keep your hands off of her.”

  “Relax warrior. I mean no harm. I can’t lift the spell without touching her.”

  Amanda looked deep into Brianna’s eyes. She glanced at Bowen. He nodded. Amanda faced Rhys. “I’ll do it.”