Dead and Gone

by Tina Glasneck

  “How did you sleep?”

  “Great,” I replied. “I hope I didn’t keep you up too late.”

  He sat down on the bed. “No, you didn’t keep me up. I fell right to sleep. Would you like to stay in here?”

  Glancing around the room, I sensed the love my parents had shared. “Yes.”

  “Marie will bring you up breakfast. When you’re through eating, I want to set up the lamp on your feet. You’re not in pain, are you?”

  “No. Will either you or Hattie be here today?”

  “I’m going to work in the den this morning. Hattie’s already gone to work.” He picked up a gift-wrapped box that was on the nightstand. “Happy birthday,” he said, handing it to me.

  I smiled as I removed the wrapping paper. Inside the box was a photo album.

  “Your mother put this together for you,” he said. “She wanted you to have it on your twenty-fifth birthday.”

  I raised the cover. On the first page was a picture of Mother wearing a nurse’s outfit and Lance wearing a doctor’s white lab coat. They were shaking hands. Under it, she had written: “Our life together begins.”

  “You can look through it while I go down and tell Marie you’re ready for breakfast,” he said as he started to stand. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Can I ask you one question first?”

  He eased back down. “Yes.”

  “Do you have other children?”

  “Yes. I have six sons. The house you stayed at in Billings is owned by one of them, Rex. He’s also Hattie’s boyfriend. You’re my only daughter. That’s another reason your mother was so excited when she found out she had given birth to a girl.”

  “Do your sons call you Father?”

  “No. I’ve never given them that option.” He paused. “Your mother is the only woman I’ve ever married. I liked their mothers. Those relationships were different than the one I had with her. I was only with their mothers for a few years. I knew where my sons were as they were growing up. I didn’t constantly keep track of them like I have with you.” He stood. “I need to make some phone calls. I’ll be back later. Ring the bell if you feel even the slightest pain.”

  I bobbed my head. Then he left and I began looking through the photo album. On the following pages, Mother had put in pictures of places they had been. Under each one, she wrote where and when the picture had been taken. They always looked happy. There were pictures of them playing in a pool. In one, Lawrence was holding onto her. Under it she had written: “Here I’m teaching your father to swim.” Another one showed them rock climbing with numerous ropes tying them together. Mother was dangling incompetently below him. She wrote: “Here I’m teaching your father to rock climb.” I smiled at her warm sense of humor.

  There were a lot of pictures of them on beaches. In one, she was lying on top of him. She had written: “Here I’m protecting your father from the sun.” I wished I had known her.

  Marie came in, carrying a food tray. I put the album on the nightstand. She placed the tray in front of me without saying a word.

  “Good morning,” I said.

  “Good morning,” she said, looking around the room. She seemed irritated, like she was upset that I was in Lance’s room.

  I wanted tell her that it was okay since I was Lance’s daughter. I knew she wouldn’t believe me. Hattie had said that Lance didn’t sleep with any women in here. Maybe Marie was trying to figure out our relationship.

  “Will you be needing anything else, Miss?” she asked, almost curt.

  My eyes dropped down to the tray. There were eggs, potatoes, and bacon on one plate, toast on another, and a cup of coffee. “No. Everything looks great.”

  She glanced at me and left.

  Boy, did she have an attitude problem. I was eating the last piece of toast when Lance walked through the doorway.

  “How is everything?” he asked.

  “Good.” I paused. “Is Marie upset because I’m in your room?”

  “Yes. She told Hattie you looked just like Jennifer. She thinks we’re related. She’s right. Although, how we’re related, she’s got it all wrong.”

  “So she believes you slept with your cousin or something?”

  “Yes. She doesn’t approve. I’m going to tell her we switched rooms since it was easier to hook up the equipment in here. She’s a good cook; I don’t want to replace her yet.”

  I took another sip of coffee. “I’m through. That was a big breakfast.”

  “You need your strength,” he said, picking up the tray and moving it to the floor. He sat next to me. “I want to talk to you about something.”

  Seeing the solemn expression on his face, I wondered what it was about. “Okay.”

  “I know you are concerned about killing people. Tegens have rules that we all live by. We only kill in self-defense or to eliminate the most depraved criminals: murderers, drug czars, and those who have committed other heinous offenses against people. We never kill anyone who doesn’t deserve it. We do not eliminate someone just because we do not like that person. There have been Tegens who have sought revenge against people they knew before they became a Tegen. We do not tolerate that.”

  “How do you enforce that?”

  “Our organization has established procedures to punish Tegens who abuse their power.”

  “An internal Tegen police force?”

  “Close enough.” He rubbed his chin with his knuckles “There are Tegens who can’t bring themselves to poison anyone, not even to survive. We do not force them to participate in that process. They still need to feed. They go to our gatherings, like you saw in Billings, and feed.”

  “Are there very many Tegens who can’t kill?”

  “No. But there are some. Often it takes new Tegens years before they are involved in the poisoning. One Tegen cannot consume one body, so we share. At a gathering, only a few are involved in obtaining our food.”

  “If I become a Tegen, I won’t need to kill anyone?”

  “Yes, but you will need to feed.”

  “Is that fair if I always have someone else doing the killing?”

  He stroked my hand. “Yes, it’s fair. After someone becomes a Tegen, he or she begins to look at killing differently. You will too eventually, sooner than you might think. And we don’t do it personally. We just have to set free one of our spiders. We can use our own poison to subdue the person. We still need a spider to release venom in the body in order for us to obtain nourishment from it. That’s why you had to wait when we were in the morgue.”

  “What happens to the spiders after you’ve let them go?”

  “Are you worried about them?”

  I nodded.

  “Brett told me how carefully you gathered them up when they were all over your legs. He was expecting to charge in there and rescue you from the spiders. I was impressed how well you handled it since you haven’t been transformed.” He tapped his fingers together. “You don’t need to worry about the spiders. We call them and put them back in a safe place.”

  “Spiders can’t be trained. They barely have brains,” I said, adamantly.

  “These are mutant spiders. They are genetically conditioned to go toward a sound when we call them.”

  “What sound?”

  He stood and took a small object out of the top dresser drawer. “We use this,” he said as he handed it to me.

  The device was a two inch round disk about a half an inch thick. One side was black, the other white. There was a button in the middle of each side. “Can I push the button?” I asked, referring to the one on the black side.

  “Go ahead.”

  I pushed it and heard a soft, deep, resonant sound, almost like the stroke of a piano key. “The spiders can hear that?”

  “They feel it, even with other noise in the area. If you were trying to retrieve one, you would continue to hold down the button until it came. The spiders have to be within thirty feet when you send out the signal. They’re too far away in the house; they didn’t
sense it.”

  “Where are the spiders here?”

  “Some are in the basement and in the den, secured so that Marie and her staff don’t accidentally run into them.”

  I pointed to the button on the white side. “Does this one also retrieve them?”

  “No. The devise is also a GPS. You push that button if you are in trouble. It is programmed to other Tegens’ cell phones.”

  “Whose?”

  “Friends, family. We try to limit it to five. Those Tegens will contact others if the need should arise.”

  I decided this was my opportunity to ask the difficult question. “What happens during the transformation?”

  “You become changed into a Tegen, just like me,” he said, giving an ambiguous answer.

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  He lifted an eyebrow. “I know. The description of the process can be frightening. I think it would be better if you didn’t know the specifics. You won’t have any problems going through it since you have always enjoyed being close to spiders. All potential Tegens like spiders, but most have not cared for them the same way you did.”

  I wanted to know more, even though it wouldn’t help me make my decision. “Have you read the remarks Mother wrote in the album?”

  “Yes,” he said as his eyes lit up. “I guess your mother taught me how to do everything.” He reached over and picked up the album. “Did you see the last page?”

  “No. I’m not there yet.”

  He opened it and showed me the last picture. It was of Mother, pregnant, standing and holding a bouquet of lilacs. She had drawn an arrow to her stomach. The caption read: “This is you. I’m going to teach you to love lilacs.”

  I stared at the picture. “She taught me well.”

  “I’m going to set up the purdrollins. I don’t want your feet hurting.”

  “Is that what the lights are called?”

  “Yes.”

  I uncovered my feet and allowed him to put the purdrollins right above them.

  He flipped the switch. “How does that feel?”

  “Good.”

  “I’ll be working in the den. Remember if you’re in pain, ring the bell. If you want anything to eat or drink, push the call button.” He motioned toward a small protruding round circle against the wall next to the bed. “It buzzes in the kitchen. Marie will come up and see what you need.”

  I went back to looking through the album, enjoying every picture until someone knocked on the door. “Come in,” I said, knowing it wasn’t Lance because he would just walk in.

  In came Hattie, carrying a vase containing a bouquet of lilacs with roses scattered throughout. “Happy Birthday! This was delivered to the clinic this morning.” She put down the vase on the nightstand, pulled off the attached envelope, and handed it to me.

  I already knew they were from Conner before I read the note. It said: “Happy Birthday, Sara. Get well soon. I can’t wait to fly with you again! Love, Conner.”

  Hattie sat on the edge of the bed. “Conner called right after I told the receptionist that you couldn’t take any calls. She seemed confused, since you aren’t listed as a patient at the clinic; she does what she’s told.” She took my hand. “How are you feeling?”

  “Fine. I’m not having any pains.”

  “I’m glad Lance moved you into this room. It’s bigger and brighter than the other one.”

  “Marie doesn’t like me being in here.”

  “Lance has taken care of that.”

  “Does Lindsey know I slept in here?”

  “No. She didn’t stay here last night.” Hattie looked around the room. “You’ve slept in here before. I’m sure you can’t remember that.”

  “That must have been when Mother was still alive.”

  “Yes. You also stayed in here with your father the night before we left for San Diego.” She stood up. “I need to talk to Lance about one of our patients. Is there anything I can get you before I leave?”

  “No. I have everything I need.”

  I looked at the flowers and the card briefly. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Thoughts of all the terrible crimes Conner had committed swirled around in my head. Still, I couldn’t allow myself to dwell about him now. I went back to the album.

  When I finished looking through it, I came to a resolution. I picked up the bell and swung it back and forth, sending a jingling sound through the house.

  Within a minute, Father hurried in. “Where do you hurt?” he asked anxiously.

  I smiled at him. “I don’t hurt anywhere. I’ve decided I want to go to the cave today.”

  His face glowed. He grinned from ear to ear and walked toward me. “Hattie had planned a birthday party for you tonight. I know she won’t be disappointed when I tell her it will have to wait.” He kissed my cheek, went to his medical bag, and filled a syringe. “This will help with the pain,” he said, raising my sleeve.

  “I’m not in pain.”

  “That’s how I want you to stay. This should help so you don’t experience any on the way to the cave.” He gently stuck the needle in my arm. “Hattie will get you ready and take you there. I’ll be inside waiting for you.”

  His eyes were brilliant with excitement as he left. I’d never seen him that happy before.

  Hattie came running into the room and hugged me. “I’m so happy,” she said, sounding ecstatic. “We were all anxious for you to make a decision. You’ll see that life as a Tegen is good.” She took my hand. “Let’s go in your room and get you ready there.”

  She held onto my arm as we walked down the hall to the other bedroom. “You have to shower and wash your hair. You can’t wear any deodorant, lotion, perfumes, colognes or any makeup. All of your clothing has to be black, including your underwear. The only piece of jewelry you can wear is your black ring,” she said as she touched it, “and you must wear it.”

  “Why?”

  “First, it’s bonded to your body. And second, it draws the spiders to you.”

  “Leaving it on my finger won’t be a problem. I can’t take it off without having a stabbing pain running through my hand.”

  “Can you stand long enough to shower by yourself, or do you want me to be with you?”

  “I did it by myself in the hospital. I should be fine.”

  “Okay. I’m going to my room to get cleaned up. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  After I showered, I slipped on the black nightgown that hung in the closet over my black underwear. I was sitting down at the vanity, blow drying my hair when Hattie returned. She wore a black blouse, black slacks, black shoes, and her hair was tied back with a black ribbon.

  “I don’t know if I can get my shoes on my feet,” I said.

  “You’ll be going into the cave barefooted. That will make it easier for you to walk.”

  I didn’t want to tread over any terrain with bare feet. “Can I wear black socks?”

  “Don’t worry. You can wear socks until you get there. You’ll be fine without anything on your feet in the cave. The dirt there won’t hurt them. Do you want me to finish blow drying your hair?”

  “No. I’m almost done.”

  As soon as I finished, Hattie tied my hair back with a black ribbon, just like hers. Then she picked up my gloves and socks. “You need to wear these until you get to the cave,” she said, putting them on me. She took my arm. “You look great. Are you ready to go?”

  I stood. “Yes.” Then we headed to her car. I bit my lower lip and felt my hands shaking through the gloves as we drove away from the house and out the opened metal gate.

  She patted my leg. “Try to relax. You’ll be one of us soon.”

  I stared out the window and saw the sun streaming through an opening in the heavy, wooded, foliage. I heard the sound of water cascading over boulders as we passed a swift moving river strewn with rocks and fallen trees along its edges.

  Forty-five minutes later, Hattie turned up a dirt road surrounded by rocky and barren land. After we had driv
en on it for a several miles, I noticed a wooded area of evergreens and aspens with a row of cars parked along the side. Hattie pulled in front of them and stopped.

  She got out and walked around the vehicle as a man, dressed in black, approached from behind the car. Hattie opened my door. “This is Daniel. He’ll be carrying you up to the cave.”

  Daniel was tall with dark curly hair, a nice square jaw, broad shoulders, and had a muscular build. After we greeted each other, Hattie told me to remove my gloves and socks. I followed her instructions and dropped them on the floor.

  From under the seat, Hattie pulled out a thermos and unscrewed the lid. “Drink some of this. It will help prevent your hands and foot from hurting while we go up to the cave.”

  I took a sip. It was venotrolia. After another gulp, I handed it back.

  “Do you want any?” she asked Daniel.

  He nodded and raised the thermos to his mouth.

  Hattie swigged a little, replaced the lid, and pushed the container under the seat.

  Daniel picked me up and carried me along a dirt trail with Hattie right behind us. We had been on the path for a long time when he sat me down on a make-shift bench made of a piece of wood supported by a tree stump and a stack of rocks.

  While he stretched, I gazed up the path looking for something that resembled a cave. I didn’t see any opening in the side of the mountain. Since Hattie or Daniel hadn’t said a word during our trek, I decided not to ask.

  Daniel lifted me into his arms again. After we went for about another fifteen or twenty minutes, he stopped by a row of bushes. Hattie stepped in front of us, bent down, and touched something in a cluster of bushes. The center bush moved, making an opening. Daniel walked through it. Hattie followed and put her hand in a crevice next to a rock. The bush moved back into place.

  “It won’t be too long now,” she said as we continued along.

  Everything I had been through to make this journey suddenly flashed in front of me: running from Conner, meeting Brett, the poisonous spiders, the victims, being hospitalized, and Cameron’s hatred. The life I had known would soon be ending. My body would be changed forever. A sense of dread came over me, yet I knew I had made the right decision.