Long Haul- The Complete Series Bundle

by Harper Logan

  “I said I could never picture you being a father,” Adrian said. “The Chandler in that photograph? Nah. Never. But seeing you with April… you’re a damn good father. And if that isn’t being great, I don’t know what is.”

  “I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got, which ain’t much. Fuck, Adrian. She deserves better than this. My little girl’s got a gift. She’s got real potential, and it’s gonna be wasted here. She’s gonna be churned up and spat out with all the rest of the dumb fucks here, I just know it. I can’t do a damn thing about it.”

  “You’ve gotta get out of here, Chandler. Take April and leave.”

  “Yeah? And where the hell are we supposed to go? I can barely afford to live in this shithole. Ain’t gonna be able to find work anywhere else.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I do know that. I do know that nobody is gonna want to hire a fucked up head-case like me.”

  “That’s bullshit.”

  “No, it ain’t, bullshit. I’m fucked up, Adrian. I lose it sometimes.” His voice got quiet. “I get… scared. And you know when I get scared, I get angry.”

  “What are you scared of?”

  “Don’t know. It just happens, sometimes. Nearly knocked the teeth out of my old boss’s mouth at the shop. Shit gets around, quick. None of the garages will hire me.”

  “We’re not talking about getting work in Everetteville,” Adrian said. “We’re talking about leaving.”

  Chandler sighed and got up from the couch. He sucked down a gulp of beer and paced the living room. “It ain’t that easy,” he said.

  “No, shit. But it’s not impossible.” An idea was churning around Adrian’s head, and he felt some of that fire of possibility flicker back to life. It was a stupid idea, one that he probably should just keep to himself, but this whole visit had been one big stupid idea. He was already in deep. “Remember when we used to talk about starting our own shop? Just you and I, working off referrals. Small operation, doing good, dependable work; a place grandma could go to without being afraid of getting ripped off?”

  “Yeah, of course I remember. It was a nice fantasy.”

  “Doesn’t have to be a fantasy.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “Shit, I’m saying we do it. Come on out to Rosebridge, or somewhere nearby where the property is cheap. We could…” He wanted to say, “be together”, but he stopped himself. “We could do it.”

  Chandler laughed, shaking his head like it was the most ridiculous thing he’d heard. “You’ve gotta be shitting me, man. You always were a dreamer, but come on. There ain’t no way that’s gonna ever happen.”

  “Why not?”

  “Well, to start, I ain’t like you. I can’t just throw all my shit in a truck and head across the country. Can’t afford it, for one. And I can’t risk that, for two. I can’t just take my daughter somewhere hoping that maybe something will work out. And besides, we haven’t even seen each other in five years. You’ve got your life. It doesn’t make any sense.”

  Chandler was right, it didn’t make any more sense now than it did back then. What was Adrian expecting to happen? The two of them settle down together?

  No, how could they? They weren’t gay. He’d never felt a thing for any other man except Chandler.

  But that was the thing. What he felt was strong, so strong, and everything he thought he’d managed to let go of had come back tenfold. Fuck, it’d only been two days and he’d gotten completely wrapped up in him. He hated the idea of leaving Chandler again. How the hell could he just go back to his life knowing that he still felt this way about him, even after so many years?

  This really had been a terrible idea. He should never have sought him out, and yet… he couldn’t imagine not doing so.

  He should’ve just let it go.

  “Fuck the money,” Adrian said, standing up and speaking in a tone that was struggling to stay hushed. “I’ve got some saved, and if I sell my truck…”

  Chandler shook his head. “I don’t know where the hell all this is coming from. Are you crazy?”

  “You know damn well where all this is coming from.”

  Chandler stared at him. “It’s late. I can make a bed up for you on the couch, but this conversation ends here. I don’t want to wake up April.”

  “Don’t worry about it, I’ll call a cab.”

  “What do you think this is? New York City?”

  “I’ll walk it.”

  “It’s four miles.”

  “Been sitting on my ass for the past week. I’ll walk it.”

  Chandler shrugged a resigned, “okay,” and followed Adrian outside the front door. Adrian felt himself trembling in irritation at both himself and Chandler. Why the hell did he have to feel this way about him? Yeah, it was a stupid idea. But it was also the strongest that he’d felt about anything in a long time. Chandler seemed to have the ability to do that to him.

  “Look,” Adrian said. “Trucking ain’t my life. I’ve been driving because being on the road is the only damn thing that seems to keep me sane. But I can’t do it forever, and I don’t want to. Mom’s getting older, and I know that I should be doing more with what God gave me. And I think you want to, too, even though you’re scared. So maybe this is that chance.” He turned and started down the steps leading away from the apartment while Chandler stared after him.

  “Am I gonna see you again tomorrow?” he called after him.

  “You’re damn right you are,” Adrian said, without looking back. “Call me when you’re off work.”

  The slightest smirk crossed Chandler’s lips, and he shook his head and went back inside.

  6

  He knew how he felt about PFC Stokes was wrong, but for some damn reason he couldn’t keep away from him. Not that they had much of a choice, they’d been placed on sentry duty at night, so they were alone together more often than not.

  Chandler could go a long time without needing to talk to another human being, but with Adrian Stokes, there seemed to be a lot to talk about. There was something about him, and it wasn’t just his dark good looks—though they were really something. It was an energy, an enthusiasm for life that Chandler didn’t have. Adrian had been standoffish at first, and it seemed like he hadn’t wanted anything to do with Chandler, but after getting to know one another, he opened up.

  He was all bright-eyed and bushy tailed, with all sorts of grand ideas of adventure and potential and life, and it rubbed off a bit on him. Chandler had never given much thought to life outside of the army—joining up had simply been the only obvious step after barely graduating from high school. His parents were non-existent in his life. He had no friends who hadn’t managed to trash their lives before hitting eighteen. The future had never held any meaning for him. But after meeting Adrian, he started to think that maybe there was something worth doing out there.

  “How’d you get so good with working on engines?” he asked Adrian. It was their second week on sentry duty together. Night had fallen and it was unusually cold, so the two of them sat close together, their shoulders almost touching. During some downtime earlier in the day, they’d fixed up a broken-down old Mercedes that was on the base, and spent some time joyriding around in it with their unit before turning it over to the ISF.

  “Always had a knack for it,” Adrian replied. “My dad had this old ’66 Ford pickup that we’d worked on together since I was young. In school, I was more into auto shop than I was into girls,” he added with a smile. “How about you? You really know your shit. I was impressed.”

  Being complimented by Adrian gave him a little thrill of happiness, more than normal. It felt good to know he approved.

  “I also spent too much of my time in the shop at school. Probably the only damn class I was any good at. You, uh, have a girl back home?”

  Adrian shook his head. “Had a girlfriend in high school. Keyword, ‘had’.”

  “What happened?”

  He made a noncommittal grunt. “Things
weren’t meant to be. How about yourself?”

  “Naw. Women require money, and I got none to speak of.”

  Adrian laughed. “I know what you mean.”

  “You and I see eye to eye on quite a bit.”

  “Hell. If we’d met each other back home, I think we would’ve been friends.”

  “Hey, man, I gotta remind you who was the one acting all distant, here. My silent-ass-self had to talk to you. You were always too good to talk with a country boy like me.”

  “I know. I’m sorry I was such a douchebag. I never thought I was too good to talk to you.”

  “Oh, yeah?” he teased. “So what was it then?”

  Adrian stuck out his lip. “Nothing to speak of.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “I’m glad I’m getting to know you now, though, Chandler Longman.”

  Chandler felt a tingle of excitement spread through his body, working its way through his extremities and ending in a place that he didn’t expect.

  Why the hell did he feel this way about Adrian? The truth was that women didn’t excite him, but neither did men—at least not until him. He’d been drawn to him from the first moment he’d set eyes on him. What were the chances that Adrian felt the same way? Slim to nil. But still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more behind Adrian’s words, and behind the looks they sometimes exchanged. Had anyone been paying attention to them, it might’ve been said the two could be seen making eyes at one another.

  It was wrong, though, to feel this way about another man. But somehow, that only made it more intense. He longed for the moments when they could be alone together, whether on sentry or on patrol, and found his mind occupied by thoughts of Adrian. What surprised him was how much it could hurt. He never knew that wanting to be with someone could hurt so much, and combined with the guilt he felt for having such a dirty secret, it was almost too much. But it never changed anything. No matter how painful the ache was, he still found himself unable to get enough of Adrian Stokes.

  But how did Adrian feel about him? He got his answer three days later.

  Their squad was on a patrol, investigating intel reporting an insurgent presence on the east side of the city. Chandler, Adrian, and three other men were on foot, walking alongside two Humvees. The street was busy with civilians going about their daily routine. “Keep an eye open,” their team leader had told them. “Johnnys like to disguise themselves as civilians. They’ll keep an AK beneath those robes.”

  Chandler remembered asking a passing elderly man for a cigarette. The man offered him the entire pack, when what sounded like a whip crack echoed out. The old man screamed and sprinted away, dropping the cigarettes to the ground. Another crack, and Chandler felt his rifle careening out of his hands, a bullet smashing into its side.

  It was their first time taking fire. The squad hurried for cover. Bullet impacts kicked up jets of dust around his feet, and he felt the wind get knocked out of him. A second later, he was on the dirt, his chest on fire.

  He’d been shot.

  In the shock of it, he forgot the entire English language except for one four letter word. As the whip cracks continued to pop, and the sand around him puffed into plumes, he quickly remembered how to speak. “I’m hit!” he shouted.

  He was out of cover, right in the open. Bullets were being exchanged on both sides, and he could see just how close they were impacting to him. He had to get out of there. He had to move...

  He felt a hand grab the neck of his uniform and drag him backwards, out of the street. He looked up, and saw it was Adrian. They made it to cover, and their medic hurried over to check him.

  Chandler had thought that he’d prepared himself for the intensity of battle, but seeing Adrian at the mercy of fate, all because of him, made him feel completely powerless. The bullet had hammered a crater right into his protective body armor, leaving nothing more than a ghoulish bruise on his chest.

  That night, back at the relative safety of the base, the temperatures continued on a downward plummet, completely contrasting the heat of the daytime sun. The two sat in silence, listening to the sounds of the desert.

  “What is it?” Adrian asked. “You’ve been quiet as fuck, even for you.”

  “That shit you pulled today.”

  “If you’re worried about payback, don’t sweat it. First rescue comes free.”

  “Fuck off, I’m not joking. You shouldn't have done that.”

  Adrian looked at him incredulously. “I shouldn’t have done that? I should’ve just left you to die?”

  “I was fine. Bruised, but fine.”

  “Shit, man. I thought you’d at least be grateful.”

  “You could’ve been killed, Adrian,” Chandler said, a flash of anger crossing his voice. “You could’ve been fucking shot. Do you know what that would’ve done to me?”

  “What?”

  Chandler huffed and shook his head, turning away.

  “Don’t turn your back on me,” Adrian said, grabbing his shoulder. “What are you saying?”

  Chandler smacked his hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

  “God dammit, Chandler. You fuckin’ turn around and talk to me right now, you hear? Don’t be a fuckin’ asshole. Hey—”

  Adrian grabbed his shoulder again, and Chandler felt a flare of fear fueled anger surge through his heart. He turned and shoved Adrian with his forearm, sending him stumbling backwards into the dirt.

  “Don’t touch me,” Chandler said.

  Adrian grunted and got back to his feet. “The hell is wrong with you…”

  Chandler turned to face him, no longer able to keep his boiling feelings in check. “The idea of getting shot at didn’t scare me one bit until I met you. I’d rather be shot dead than see you get hurt.” He turned again, hissing, “fucking hell,” under his breath. What the hell was he admitting to Adrian? He rubbed his face, feeling like a complete fool. This was why he hated talking. Why he hated sharing his feelings.

  He felt Adrian’s hand on his shoulder again and tried to shrug him away, but his grip was firm. “Don’t touch me,” he said again. His heart was thundering wildly. Adrian still didn’t let go. Why wouldn’t he just leave him alone? Why did he make him feel like this? The fear was rising again, and along with it came an urge to lash out. He turned—and was stopped by Adrian’s mouth on his.

  In the shock of it, Chandler pushed him back by his shoulders. Adrian grabbed the front of his shirt with both fists and tugged him in. They glared at each other. Chandler didn’t know how to react, feeling both an urge to deck him in the face and to slam him against the stack of supply crates and kiss him. He chose the latter.

  His lips met Adrian’s again. Their kiss was hungry and desperate, fists grabbing clothing as their helmets knocked against each other, preventing them from getting too close. All protocol left Chandler’s mind at that moment. He swung his weapon around to his side and fumbled with his helmet strap until he finally managed to get it free. It fell to the ground, and Adrian reached around the back of his neck and pulled him back in.

  Their eyes met and communicated a desire that needed no words. Adrian hurriedly worked to get his belt undone and Chandler did the same, their lips never separating for more than a moment. He was rock hard, and he could feel the precum slickening his end. Had he ever been so aroused in his entire life?

  Finally he was out and free, the cold night air kissing his solid erection. There was no room for thought, no time to consider the potential consequences of what they were about to do. Adrian managed to get his trousers down to his thighs, a slash of white skin against camo fabric, and Chandler turned him around against the canvas-draped supply crates.

  No lube.

  “C’mon, hurry,” Adrian said, his voice low and almost a beg.

  “It’s gonna hurt,” Chandler growled.

  “I can take it.”

  Chandler spat on his cock and pumped his hand around it to mix it with his precum, and then pressed himself up to Adr
ian’s opening. Adrian grabbed at the canvas, slamming his fist against it as Chandler pushed into him.

  The bite of the cold was replaced by warmth as he buried himself all the way to the hilt. He grabbed Adrian by the hip and pounded him. Fuck, he was tight. Adrian thrust his face into his sleeve to muffle his moans. Chandler bit his lip, unable to stop the occasional grunt from escaping as he fucked him. The intensity of moment brought on a quick and phenomenal climax. He went faster as he finished, and pushed his face up to Adrian’s neck, kissing and biting him as his cock throbbed with orgasm.

  His head swam with a haze of thrilled pleasure. Jesus, that had really happened. There was no going back from this.