Return to Darkness

by Rebecca Royce

  The combination of embarrassment and outrage that Oliver thought he could just assign meaning to what I said made my blood heat. I could actually feel it rising from my neck to my face.

  “Uh oh,” Thorn said. “You should back up.”

  I opened my mouth to put him in his place, when a voice over the loudspeaker called, “Flight to Santa Fe now boarding at gate 4B.” At those words, I was hit with a flood of fear and anxiety. For some reason, I thought I’d have more time. I thought that we had hours of this layover and I’d have time to prepare myself before I had to go back.

  Shit. Oliver was right. That motherfucker had read me like a book. The guys hadn’t made a move to gather their things. Instead, they all watched me. I was uncomfortable under their stares, not liking how clearly they saw me.

  “You’re right,” I said, even though it killed me. “I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to be in any house that’s within a fifty-mile radius of our stupid, mud pit, shit hole, slice of hell. I don’t want to do it.”

  The rain was coming down in sheets now. Maybe the flight would be delayed. I’d sit out on that tarmac for an entire day if that meant I wouldn’t be in the desert.

  “We know,” Thorn answered before Oliver could speak. “I know. I saw what the people in that town did to you. I’ve been your friend since we were kids, Lace. I know what it’s going to do to you to go back.”

  Oliver touched my chin, guiding my face toward his. “You can do this. It’s just a return. A detour before we get on with our lives. You’re stronger than anything we’ll find there.”

  I met his dark-eyed gaze and let my bravado go. “You think so?” I hated being weak and uncertain, but right now, I needed these guys to tell me I could do this. That we could do this.

  “No fucking doubt in my mind.”

  I nodded. “Thank you. And the next time you yell at me, I’m going to yell back.”

  He smiled. That stupid look made me either want to kiss or smack him. “Got it.”

  Chapter 2

  I’m not sure I could have said what happened on that flight if pressed to do so under oath. The whole day was a blur after we left Seattle. We landed and got our bags. Colton rented a car, and we all got in.

  Later on, we’d all rent cars, including me. But for now we just had Colton’s and that was fine. We could get through the next little bit with one large SUV.

  I leaned on Thorn’s shoulder. Was it possible I could sleep through the next few weeks? Wake up when I could leave this state and never return to it?

  I wasn’t a teenager anymore. I’d beaten Erdirg on my own and taken down Mara. Even if every person in town was rude to me, that didn’t matter. They could all fuck themselves.

  Thorn linked our fingers together. I stared at the way they looked, his so much bigger than mine. In a novel, the kinds I’d read when I first got to Anchorage and I couldn’t sleep at night, Thorn would have been the perfect hero, a childhood best friend who became the heroine’s lover.

  Actually, all of them fit those roles. Oliver was the kid who had ridden motorcycles and grew up to be complicated but true. Aaron was the sweet one who was filled with depth. And Colton, the jock who had a heart hidden away behind his perfect exterior.

  They were all so much more than that, too.

  But it was impossible for me to think of my childhood home without thinking of Thorn and everything he’d meant to me.

  “Wouldn’t have made it through without you in those early years.” I spoke low, but I was sure the others could hear me.

  He kissed my temple. “I didn’t do it right later. Love you. Thanks for… surviving and forgiving me when I finally got my head on straight. I almost lost you to Colton and then when we got compelled away, two guys moved in on you from next door.”

  Aaron smirked next to me on the other side. “Guess it’s good that surviving a demon makes people so close they don’t mind the idea of sharing an incredible woman.”

  I closed my eyes. Right now, I was just going to think about those playdates with Thorn when we’d both been too young for anything but friendship. And the way I’d felt easy when I was at his house. The way it had seemed that someday, I could have a life like he did.

  For now, I was just going to get lost in that moment. Hold myself there. And not let my mind wander anywhere else.

  It looks different.

  The town that had seemed so rundown—dated and dirty—had undergone a makeover in the decade without me. The main street, which used to be a collection of strip malls, a lone gas station, and empty storefronts had been rehabbed. Tall iron signs lined the street, and each storefront had shiny glass displays. Where the strip mall used to be, there was a park, complete with play structure and a fountain.

  “What the hell happened here?” I asked. If I hadn’t seen the sign, I never would have recognized this place.

  “We think it had something to do with Erdirg,” Oliver answered. “His evil permeated everywhere. Once you put him to sleep, it cleared. People changed. This was the result.” He sat in the front seat while Colton drove, but he turned to see me. “This is because of you, Lacey.”

  I was at a loss for words. I stared out the window. The pavement was fresh and road lined by sidewalks. Everything about it had small town charm. There was a store that sold crystals, and another one advertising a local artist collective. “This is crazy.”

  But it was also surface. Oliver said the people had changed, but could that really be possible? There was so much negativity. So much hate directed to me. Where did all of that go? All my old teachers, the principal, the cops, would they still look back on me as a trouble-making, no-good Madison?

  Colton turned off the main street onto a dirt road leading into the desert. I noticed the manicured drive, complete with cacti and stone arranged artfully. This wasn’t a street I was familiar with. I didn’t recognize the sign, or the regal stucco ranches that were built with enough space between each other as to be tastefully isolated.

  At the end of the road was another driveway, this one lined with cobblestones. Colton slowed, driving carefully as he leaned forward to peer out the windshield. He whistled low. “You sure know how to pick ’em,” he said as the two-story hacienda-style home came into view.

  “There’s a pool in back,” Thorn said. “It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?”

  It was insane. When he said a six-bedroom house, I’d pictured a split-level with a finished basement or something. I hadn’t pictured this estate. How much money did these guys make that Thorn could rent a place like this without even blinking?

  Suddenly, I was the poor kid all over again, open-mouthed and gaping. “This is too much, Thorn.”

  He stroked his finger down the side of my cheek. “Shut up. It’s not enough.”

  Next to me, Aaron gripped my knee and squeezed. I had the impression that he understood my struggle.

  Colton came to a stop and put the car in park. “I call dibs on whatever room has a balcony.”

  Shit. There was a balcony?

  “Lace?” Thorn’s voice was uncertain, and I realized that he was waiting to see what I thought. My opinion mattered to him. He’d gone to a lot of trouble to find a place he wanted me to like, and I wasn’t such an asshole that I’d throw all his consideration back in his face.

  I glanced over my shoulder at him. “Thorn, it’s fucking incredible.” I opened the door, preparing to race. “Last one in the pool is a rotten egg!”

  With a laugh, Oliver shook his head. “Too cold, Lacey. I mean… I know you’re used to Alaska, but I personally don’t want to get in the pool when it’s forty-five degrees outside.”

  Thorn leaned forward. “How about the hot tub?”

  Oliver grinned. “That, I can get behind.”

  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d worn a bathing suit. I was lucky I even had one. Clad in my black bikini, I sat in the hot tub. The jets loosened my back as we all sat around like it was the most normal thing in the world.

 
; “Do you guys do this a lot?” I looked at each of them as I asked the question.

  Oliver sat with his eyes closed across from me. Thorn was next to him, a bottle of water in one hand. Aaron was next to me on my right. He stared off in the distance, maybe admiring the view. I didn’t let myself look. The last thing I wanted was to start to think things around here were pretty. I couldn’t start to like it. No matter how nice it had become.

  Colton wrapped his foot around my own. He had a bead of sweat on his face that I watched, transfixed, as it ran down his cheek.

  “First time. We don’t hang around in hot tubs. I swear.”

  Oliver lifted his head. “I think we’re only doing this because you have that bikini on. I mean… please don’t wear that in public. I don’t mind sharing with all of them, but I will have to gouge out the eyes of anyone else who looks at you.”

  Aaron laughed. “Oh no. I’m going to disagree with my brother. Wear it. Let everyone see what belongs to us.”

  I supposed I should have said or thought something like ‘I wear what I want, and my choice of swimwear has nothing to do with your opinion about my body.’ But that wasn’t what I thought or said when heat hit my cheeks. I fucking loved that they were reacting to my appearance.

  Colton leaned his head on mine. “I’d rather she be sitting in here naked. What do you say, Lacey? Willing to take it off and let us see you naked in the bubbles?”

  I shook my head fast. “What if someone showed up? This is not a town I let my guard down in, ever. I won’t be caught naked outside. No matter the circumstances.”

  Thorn nodded. “Maybe that’ll change in a couple of days. We’re fenced in back here. No one is getting in here that we don’t want here. Okay. So what do we do now, Chees? Your father is here somewhere, and he isn’t going to magically appear in front of us. Or maybe he will. Things like that happen around us.”

  I thought back to the last time I saw Ray Chee. It had been a while since I’d had to lucid dream in order to kill Mara. “We closed all those doors.” What if I had locked him inside?

  “I know where your mind has gone,” Aaron said, “but he physically left my mom after your dream. He’s alive and out there somewhere. The place to start would be in your old neighborhood.”

  Despite the warm jets and being surrounded by the people I loved, a chill ran down my spine. “I don’t want to go back there.”

  “You don’t have to,” Oliver assured me. He leaned forward and grasped my hand. With a gentle tug, he pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me.

  “I should have done that,” Aaron grumbled. “Had you right next to me.”

  I leaned my head on his brother’s chest, soaking in his warmth. When he spoke, his chest rumbled with the sound. “I think it’s best if Aaron and I go to check out the old riverbed and trailer park. We know how our father works, and if there’s evidence to be found, we’ll find it.”

  Colton moved his foot from mine and edged forward. “I’m an archaeologist. I know how to examine a site. I could go for you.”

  Oliver’s entire body tensed. I glanced up at him, taking in the set of his jaw and the way he pressed his lips together. It hit me. He didn’t want to go either. Like me, this trip home was stirring up all kinds of issues. For me, it was what this town had done to me. But for Oliver, it was what his dad had done to him.

  “Is your mom here?” I asked.

  At my question, he startled and squeezed me again. “Yeah. I couldn’t make her stay away. She’s just as stubborn as the old man. I half-expected Kel to show up, too, but she’s got a bunch of big events at her vineyard, and I promised after the last time, she wouldn’t have to leave her life to rescue our parents.”

  Hmm. There seemed to be a story there. Peering at Aaron, I caught the slight shake of his head. I guessed that was a story for another time.

  The guys’ bravery took me down a few pegs. Here they were, facing their issues, and all I wanted to do was hide my head under my pillow. “I’ll go with you.”

  “Uh-uh.” Oliver was quick to respond. His denial was echoed by the others, but tempered a little by Aaron’s, “Not yet.”

  “Why not?” I asked. I hated that I was a little relieved to be given an out. Not that I wouldn’t take it, but I should probably know why I got one when no one else did. A horrible thought occurred to me. “Do you think he’s awake?” I didn’t even want to say his name, afraid that here, so close to where he slept, his name on my lips would rouse him.

  “Absolutely not,” Colton answered.

  Shifting, I placed myself between Oliver’s legs so I could see all of them. Thorn was shaking his head. “No, Lace. You knocked him out. He’s not getting up any time soon.”

  “It’s been a decade,” I reminded him. “We don’t know how long my darkness will keep him wherever he is.”

  “Can we agree not to call it your darkness?” Aaron shook his head. “It’s something in you, Lacey, but it’s more like your abilities based on a genetic heritage. Maybe you and Thorn could use his considerable talents to find information on everything and figure out what those abilities are. That could be a very useful thing for us to know going forward. Once we leave here, we can set up lives. If we get called to do other paranormal-type things, you could have a real sense of what you can do.”

  I wouldn’t mind some clarity, but I was pretty sure Aaron was still dismissing the fact that for whatever the reason, I was pretty dark inside. Whether that was my upbringing, some facet of the fae an ancestor had made a baby with, or just a Lacey thing, I didn’t know. I didn’t know if it mattered.

  “You know, what I do for a living is find people. I’m a PI. I could get licensed here. I’m sure Rick will provide whatever documentation I need. Firearms proficiency probably.” My mind began to whir. “I’ll need to show I’ve got ten thousand dollars in bond. Rick took care of that stuff. I’ll have to…”

  Thorn nodded. “We’ve got that under control, Lacey. Ten-k is yours.”

  I loved how easily he could handle money. I mean… it made me uncomfortable as hell, but I loved it just the same.

  “Um… we can talk about that.”

  Thorn shook his head. “Consider it done.”

  Fine, we’d figure that out. “Anyway, the point is, if you don’t find any paranormal clues, maybe I can find him. That is what I do. What I’m good at. Are you guys going to try to see your moms?”

  I looked between Colton and Thorn. The former rolled his eyes. “I suppose, at some point. I avoid that as much as humanly possible. We don’t get each other particularly well.”

  Thorn sighed. “What he said. I don’t see my family if I can avoid it. But it might be one of those times I have to.”

  “And when will we see your mom?” I looked between Oliver and Aaron.

  Oliver snorted, and Aaron rolled his eyes before the latter spoke. “Probably at exactly the wrong moment. Like when I’m trying to get between your thighs in bed. She’ll pop in and think she needs to give us advice on lovemaking.”

  I covered my face. “We are locking the door at night.”

  “Like a lock could keep my deeply inappropriate mother out.” Oliver smiled.

  Aaron pointed at me. “Do you remember when she gave you permission to sleep with both Oliver and me? Like you needed her to say it was okay. We were teenagers. What parent does that?”

  I squeezed his arm. “Everything was weird back then. That was the smallest thing.”

  “Maybe to you. She was always doing things like that. Fuck, we’d better find Dad,” Oliver said. “He takes up all of her time. If she doesn’t have him, she’ll want to be more involved with us, and I need that like a hole in the head.”

  Yikes. That hinted at the need for a lot of space. I did remember Jacinda being over-the-top, but I also remembered that she’d taken me shopping and tried to care for me the best way she knew how. It was funny how much more forgiving of the Chees I could be than of my own family.

  “So we have a p
lan,” I said, changing the subject. “Tomorrow, we start searching?”

  “I’m going to get right to it,” Thorn said. “Since all I need is a chair and Wi-Fi. I want to tap into some satellite images of the trailer park. Maybe I’ll see something there, and we won’t need to investigate in person.”

  “That’s a helpful skill to have.” How much easier all my spying would have been if all I had to do was zoom-in or enlarge the image. I thought back to a cheating spouse I’d once busted. I’d caught him going at it with the girl he met at his thirty-fifth high school reunion, and dear god, that was a picture I never wanted to see enlarged. Even the memory made me shudder. Ew.

  Pushing my hair off my face, I caught sight of my pruney fingers. “I think it’s time for me to get out.” The air had cooled considerably, and my breath made white fog. It felt amazing on my super-heated skin, but forty-five minutes in a hot tub was my limit.

  “Good idea.” Oliver gripped my elbow as I stood and made my way to the side of the tub. “I’m feeling a little lightheaded. How about we eat and go to bed?”

  That sounded perfect. “I’m going to shower quickly, and I’ll meet you in the kitchen. I’ll rummage through the cupboards when I get down.”

  Aaron chuckled but turned it into a cough when I glared at him. “Have a comment?” I asked.

  “No,” he replied. “Just…” I could see him searching for a way to save his ass. “There’s deli meat and rolls.”

  Sandwiches. I could handle sandwiches. “Sounds perfect.” I slung my leg over the side of the tub, gripping the edge with my hands so I wouldn’t fall. As my foot touched the wooden planks of the porch, I happened to look up into the sky.

  My breath caught. I’d forgotten how big the desert sky was. I could get lost in the tiny dots of lights. From a purely objective standpoint, it was beautiful.

  “Not so bad,” Colton’s voice sounded in my ear, his breath wafting across the damp skin of my neck.