American Star

by Jackie Collins

  "You know something, Kirk? I'd pay her every dime I had if I could be

  free tomorrow."

  And he meant it. Being with Lauren was the most important thing in his

  life. He couldn't wait.

  retha Mae had been bedridden for several weeks. Cyndra had nurses

  there day and night to look after her. The doctor had recently

  informed her that Aretha Mae was suffering from bronchial pneumonia and

  should be in the hospital.

  "No hospitals," she said firmly. "I want her at home where I can watch

  her."

  "She'd get better care in the hospital," the doctor pointed out.

  "No," Cyndra replied, remembering what had happened to Luke.

  "My mother stays here."

  Marik tried to persuade her. "C'mon, baby, let them take her to the

  hospital."

  "No," Cyndra said flatly. "Those places kill people."

  "She's dying anyway," Marik said.

  "Oh, that's encouraging."

  But she knew he spoke the truth. Aretha Mae did not have long to go.

  Every evening at six o'clock she went into her mother's room and sat

  with her. She held her hand, the frail little hand that had once

  cooked greasy fries and bacon, slapped her kids, brought them up and

  allowed them to survive.

  "How you doin', Mama?" she whispered, leaning in close.

  Aretha Mae stared up at her. "I soon be with Luke," she said.

  "Soon be happy."

  "Mama, I have something to ask you," Cyndra said, speaking softly.

  "Yes?"

  "You have to be very truthful with me. You must promise."

  "Tell me, girl. What is it?"

  "Who's my real father?"

  Aretha Mae looked up at her with sunken eyes and was silent for a long

  while. "Benjamin Browning-he be your father," she said at last.

  Cyndra nodded. She'd known it was true the first time Aretha Mae had

  told her, but she needed to hear it again. "Is there any proof?" she

  asked.

  Aretha Mae nodded weakly. "There's a letter in the bank in Bosewell.

  You'll get it when I die."

  "You're not gonna die, Mama."

  "I don't mind dying, girl. I be with Jesus, an' my sweet baby Luke."

  "No, Mama, you are not going to die," Cyndra repeated fiercely.

  Aretha Mae smiled mysteriously. "I always knew you'd survive, girl.

  I was always sure.

  Later that night Cyndra sat with Marik and talked about her past in a

  way she never had before. He listened quietly while she told him about

  Benjamin Browning, the rape, the abortion, and all the other bad things

  that had happened to her.

  "Oh, baby, baby, I had no idea," he said, holding her tight.

  "Why should you?" she replied. "It's my pain-I can handle it."

  "That Benjamin Browning must be one bad son of a bitch," Marik said.

  "We could have somebody sent down there who'd fix him good."

  "No," she said sharply. "Benjamin will pay for his sins, just like

  Mama would want him to. But it'll be my way.

  The next day she signed a contract to star in her own television

  show.

  She took the contract home and proudly waved it in front of Aretha

  Mae.

  "You see, Mama? You see? I'm gonna be on television all over the

  country. Everybody will watch me. Everybody in Bosewell. What do you

  think of that?"

  Aretha Mae smiled a sad little smile and managed to nod her head.

  "You be a star, girl. You did real good."

  And then she shut her eyes and died peacefully.

  Cyndra threw herself on her mother's body and started sobbing.

  The nurse called for Marik. He rushed to the room, took Cyndra in his

  arms and comforted her.

  "I want you to be my wife, baby," he crooned. "It's time you had

  somebody looking after you."

  "We'll see," she said between sobs. 4We'll see."

  Nick couldn't believe she was doing it to him again. Lauren had been

  gone for two days, and although he'd left countless messages on her

  private answering machine she still had not returned his calls. What

  was it with her? She'd done the same thing to him in New York when

  he'd sat in his hotel room waiting for five days. This time he wasn't

  going to stand for it.

  He contacted a girl who worked at I.A.A. in New York and told her to go

  to Lauren's office.

  "Make sure she calls me immediately," he said. "And don't leave until

  you see her. I'll be waiting by the phone."

  The girl did as he asked and then called him in Los Angeles. "I'm

  sorry, Mr. Angel, Ms. Roberts is at the hospital."

  "What's wrong?" he asked, panicking.

  "Her husband had a heart attack."

  "A heart attack?" he repeated blankly.

  "Yes. I spoke to her personal assistant and she said she'd get a

  message to Ms. Roberts that you're trying to reach her."

  He put the phone down and shook his head. Had Lauren told her husband

  and then he'd promptly had a heart attack? Was it Oliver's way of

  hanging on? Jesus, this was not good.

  Freddie called and said, "You're not going to believe this."

  "What?"

  "Lauren Roberts turned us down. According to Samm, her New York agent,

  she doesn't want to do the part."

  "Why not?"

  "Her husband's in the hospital."

  "He's going to be all right, isn't he?" Nick asked flatly.

  "Nobody knows. Apparently she's at his bedside day and night."

  ù It was bizarre. Fate brought them together every so often, and fate

  split them apart. If he knew anything about Lauren at all, he was

  certain she would not leave Oliver while he was sick.

  "Any suggestions?" Freddie asked.

  "About what?"

  "Your leading lady."

  "Give it to Carlysle. She wants it."

  "I don't think the studio'll go for Carlysle Mann-she's old news."

  "She's not even thirty, for crissakes. She's right for the part. Tell

  em I want her, that should do it."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Very sure."

  And he was. Carlysle Mann was exactly what he needed to get him

  through the next few months. Because Lauren was not going to be

  around. Of that he was sure.

  Oliver smiled weakly. "Somebody should have told me I was overdoing

  it."

  "They did. Constantly," Lauren replied, fussing around his hospital

  bed.

  "They did?" Oliver asked innocently.

  "Yes. I told you, and Howard, and Pia. We all did. Nonstop work and

  no play makes Oliver a candidate for a very big heart attack."

  "It wasn't that" "With a pacemaker anything's big."

  A nurse entered the room carrying more flowers. The room already

  resembled a flower shop.

  "I'll slow down. I promise."

  Lauren nodded. "If you wish to stay around I suggest you do."

  He held out his hand. "Come over here, my beautiful neglected wife."

  Inexplicably her eyes filled with tears. She was so relieved he was

  alive. According to Pia, if their butler hadn't been working late when

  Oliver collapsed he would not have survived.

  While your husband was almost dying, Roberts, you were in L.A. in bed

  with Nick Angel. Proud of yourself?

  I didn't want this to happen.

  Well, it did, and you're lucky he's sti
ll here.

  Every time she cheated on him something bad happened. First the false

  pregnancy, now this. It was a sign. She and Nick were not meant to

  be.

  He squeezed her hand and gazed helplessly into her eyes. "I'm making

  plans," he said. "We'll go to Rome and Venice. We'll travel

  together.

  I don't know what I'd do without you, my darling. I'd be lost."

  He was her husband and she was fond of him, but if she were to tell the

  truth he was more like a father figure than a husband. He'd never made

  love to her. In fact, for the last four years they'd had no physical

  contact at all.

  Oliver was almost seventy. She was thirty. Oh, God! She was

  absolutely and totally trapped.

  "Don't worry, Oliver," she said. "I'm here. I always will be."

  Later that night she called Nick.

  "I heard," he said.

  "I don't know what to say."

  "You don't have to say anything. I understand."

  "I can't tell him now-not while he's sick. Maybe in a few months when

  he gets better."

  "Lauren, you don't have to explain to me."

  "But I do. This time I didn't want to leave you hanging."

  "I'll always be hanging."

  "Don't make me cry, Nick."

  "Look, you must do what you have to do. I'm divorcing Annie whatever

  happens. I don't intend to stay in a meaningless relationship."

  "Yes, well, your wife's not lying in a hospital bed."

  "Can we at least speak?"

  "It's not a good idea."

  "You're killing me, Lauren, you really are. You come into my life

  every so often, screw me up, and vanish. You're fucking killing me."

  "Nick, if it means anything at all, I love you. I truly love you, but

  I can't leave this man, not now.

  "When you're free, call me," he said. "I hope I'll still be

  waiting."

  Nick attended Aretha Mae's funeral with Cyndra. She was buried at

  Forest Lawn, and there was a good turnout of people showing their

  respect for Cyndra.

  "Actually, Nick," she told him, "they're showing their respect for my

  stardom, but what do I care?"

  "Are you sure she wanted to be buried here?" he asked. "Maybe you

  should send her body back to Bosewell?"

  "I thought about it," she said. "But then I remembered she had nothing

  but bad times there. She'll rest in peace here."

  A few weeks later she informed him she was going back to Bosewell.

  "What do you want to do that for?"

  "Marik's coming with me," she said. "I have people to confront before

  I can be at peace with myself."

  "Are you crazy?" he said. "You're a big star now. Why go back? If

  the tabloids get hold of your story you'll be sorry."

  "I don't care," she said stubbornly. "It's something I have to do."

  He realized her intentions. "You're after Browning, aren't you?"

  She nodded.

  "How does Marik feel about this?"

  "He'll go along with me."

  "And Gordon? Have you told him?"

  "No," she said irritably. "I don't have to tell him. He's not my

  father confessor."

  "Maybe you should listen to his advice."

  "I know what his advice will be. He'll tell me not to go, just like

  you. But some things are unavoidable."

  "Well, lotsa luck, Cyndra. You know I mean it."

  "Want to come with me, Nick?"

  "You've gotta be kidding. I wouldn't go back there for all the money

  in the world."

  That afternoon Annie arrived home. Lissa rushed into the house first,

  raced up to him and threw herself into his arms. "Daddy! Daddy!

  I missed you 5000 much!"

  "I missed you, too, little kid," he said, hugging her tightly.

  "Gotta go pee!" she giggled, wriggling out of his arms and running

  Annie marched in with a sour face.

  "Where the fuck have you been?" he demanded.

  "With friends," she said coldly, going to the bar and pouring herself a

  drink.

  He followed her. "What friends?"

  "The same friends you were with. How do you like it when I vanish?"

  "Don't ever take off with my kid," he said sharply. "Don't ever do

  that to me, Annie, because you'll regret it."

  She arched her eyebrows. "I'll regret it?"

  "I want a divorce," he said.

  "No," she replied, sipping straight gin.

  "It's too late. I've already talked to my lawyer. I want out of this

  marriage. Neither of us is happy. It's not good for Lissa-all she

  ever sees us do is fight."

  "Didn't you read my note, Nick? I like being Mrs. Angel. There's no

  way I'm letting you go.

  "You have no choice, Annie."

  4Oh, but I do. You seem to forget what I know."

  "I'm not forgetting anything. Kirk will recommend a lawyer for you.

  I'll be fair with you, but it's over."

  "Oh, yes," she said spitefully. "It'll really be over when I tell

  everything I know."

  "You know something, Annie?" he said wearily. "You've held this over

  me for too many years now-I don't give a shit what you do or who you

  tell. I'm through-get that into your fucking head. I'm through."

  "You'll regret it. I'll take Lissa and you'll never see her again,"

  she said, playing her trump card.

  "Oh, no, that's where you're wrong," he said curtly.

  "Your career will be over, Nick."

  "You can't touch me, Annie."

  She smiled contemptuously. "We'll see who's right." off.

  liver's recovery was slow, but true to his word he began to take it

  much easier. This affected Lauren because she was used to getting on

  with her own career and not worrying about Oliver being lonely or

  wondering where she was. Now he demanded her full attention.

  She informed Lorenzo she did not wish to proceed with the cosmetics

  line at this particular time.

  Lorenzo was upset. "What will you do? Stay at home and look after an

  old man?"

  "I don't think it's any of your business."

  "You cannot waste your life like this, Lauren," he said, genuinely

  concerned. "You are at the peak of your career, you can achieve

  anything."

  "I'm taking some time," she said quietly. "I have to look after

  Oliver. He needs me.

  Samm was equally outraged. "You fly to Hollywood, test for a role in a

  Nick Angel movie, get the part-and then tell me you can't do it.

  I don't believe this!"

  "Samm, sometimes life comes before fantasy. Making a movie is fantasy,

  being with my husband is real life. I'm looking after him until he's

  better."

  Samm shook her head, too perplexed to argue.

  "And another thing," Lauren added. "No more modeling assignments until

  I feel Oliver is back on his feet."

  "You have your commitment to Marcella," Samm pointed out.

  "I'll keep that commitment. Right now put everything else on hold."

  As soon as Oliver was out of the hospital she accompanied him to their

  house in the Hamptons, where they spent several weeks sitting around

  doing nothing. She bought him piles of magazines and books, classical

  tapes and videos.

  "You know, I rather like doing nothing," Oliver confessed. "Especially

  with you beside me."

&
nbsp; She smiled wanly. "I thought you might."

  "We've spent so little time together over the last few years. I'm

  going to make it up to you, Lauren, you'll see."

  She tried not to think about Nick. It was quite obvious their

  relationship was not to be, and Oliver's heart attack was God's way of