by Carrie Noble
had fallen in love with, it would have given me a break from the snarling, the nasty comments and the heavy atmosphere charged with regret and recrimination.
He loved them and he missed them. I knew he blamed me, resented me. it was making him bitter and he wasted no time in showing me.
I had thought that maybe it would get better. I thought that I could cope. But that had changed when John returned from the doctors yesterday. His poor health, another factor that added to John’s now constant sour mood, had deteriorated again. The doctor had made it clear. He was retiring. Now we would be together all the time.
Now I knew that no, I couldn’t take anymore. That was when I had phoned Louise. I needed to talk to someone. Tell her everything. She would help. She would know what to do.
‘Michelle, tell me what’s wrong?
As the tears rolled down my face I realised that the words wouldn’t come. This was my mess. I had made my bed and now I was going to have to go and lie in it.
‘Oh nothing, I am just being silly. I think everything has just got a bit on top of me.’
After spending an hour talking about Louise and catching up on what was going on with her, I told her I had to go.
****
As I unlock the door I can hear Sky Sports and hear the sound of a can being opened.
‘Decided to come home have yeah. Pity. Seeing as you’re here get me some lunch. You may as well be of some bloody use.
All I wanted was to have this man all to myself and that is exactly what I have got. Nobody to give me a break from the vitriol and misery he emits. He is all mine now. Forever mine.
