by Fel Fern
Logan heard Michella’s light footsteps walking past the couch, and Dino’s heavy ones.
“I know that. Shit, babe. Don’t get mad at me,” Dino pleaded. “I’m sorry.”
Logan pressed his lips together, feeling like an intruder. He opened his eyes to slits to see Dino grabbing her arm and her expression softening.
“I’m sorry, too.”
“Let’s continue this inside,” Dino said, pulling her close.
She didn’t resist, relaxing into his embrace with a sigh, melting into him like she belonged there. Unwarranted envy hit Logan in the gut. Logan had a feeling this was a side of the Gamma she seldom let anyone see. He should have accepted Raul’s bed.
Both disappeared into the bedroom next to Raul’s. Logan let out a sigh of relief. Eventually, he fell into a deep sleep. Logan’s dreams were troubled ones. Ray was still alive in the dream, but he looked disappointed about Logan’s decision to bring the pack here. Would the Darkfall wolves eventually throw them out? The future was so uncertain, and never before had Logan felt so alone.
* * * *
Sleep eluded Raul that night. Tossing and turning in bed until morning didn’t seem ideal, so he gave up. Besides, Logan sleeping out in the living room and not warming his bed didn’t seem right. They needed their space of course, but patience didn’t come easy to Raul where Logan was concerned.
Dragging himself out of bed, he shrugged on a pair of sweats before lumbering out. Next door, he heard soft voices, Dino and Michella’s. Raul recalled years ago, right after David’s death. She’d already been living with them, but even after David died, she stubbornly stayed in David’s room.
Some nights though, the grief overwhelmed her and Raul and Dino would lay on either side of her in bed. The gesture was more one of comfort than intimacy, for Raul at least. Shifters needed warmth occasionally.
Not wanting to disturb them, Raul padded silently to the living room and settled on the armchair beside the couch. Even in the dark, he could make out Logan’s features and easily trace them using his hand. The couch was tiny, but Raul bet he and Logan could squeeze into it. What would it be like to have Logan’s warm and slender body pressed against his?
Boundaries and lines, he told himself. The next few days would be a test of endurance though. He watched the rise and fall of Logan’s chest before slipping into a realm of dreams. Someone drawing the curtains and letting the sunlight in made him groan.
“Dino, really, people are still sleeping,” murmured Michella.
“A bit of sunshine won’t hurt our Raul,” Dino muttered gruffly.
Raul rubbed at his eyes, opening them to see Michella and Dino. There was a blanket around his shoulders, but he wasn’t surprised. Avoiding his best friend’s gaze, because Raul would definitely punch the grin off Dino’s face, he focused on Michella instead. She stood by the kitchen counter, sipping coffee from her favorite, pink, coffee cup, the one they gave her for her birthday two years ago.
Guilt rammed into him. He knew Michella wouldn’t hold it against him, but they needed to talk.
As if sensing the tension, Dino sighed. “I’m going to get a shower. After that, Raul and I are getting breakfast.”
“Who said I want to go anywhere with you?” Raul grumbled. Michella put a finger to her lips, nodding to Logan’s sleeping form.
“Coffee first, then let’s talk,” Raul said.
She handed him his mug later, black with sugar. They padded back to Michella’s bedroom. Well, considering Dino spent more nights here than his own, Raul supposed it belonged to them now.
Raul drank his coffee, warily watching Michella sit on the edge of her bed. She patted the empty side on her right. Raul joined her, saying nothing for a couple of moments. Knowing she would probably wait until he was ready to talk, he let the ball roll.
“Tell me you share Dino’s opinion that I’m reckless for wanting Logan,” Raul stated. He didn’t like the hint of desperation in his voice.
“You know I can’t do that. Raul, this is your life. You make your own choices,” she reminded him gently.
“I don’t want to stop protecting you. You’re still my Gamma, but I want Logan, too.” Saying the words out loud gave Raul startling clarity.
“You have your answer. Do both,” she said with a grin.
There was no hint of anger or jealousy in her voice, but then, Raul never expected it. Michella was the most grounded person he knew. After David’s death, Dino and he had been terrified she lost her ability to feel, but it was the opposite. She felt too much, being able to sense the emotions of others.
“Logan isn’t ready,” he began, setting his mug down to run a frustrated hand through his hair. “It’s driving me mad. I can’t decide to move forward or give him space. Fuck, but I’ve never wanted anyone this much.”
“I can tell. I thought I’d never see you like this. Over the past year, I’ve seen pack members, including my brothers, act impulsively to find their mates. I’m happy.” She looked distant, but a smile tugged at her lips. Raul wondered why he was worried about her disapproval in the first place.
“You knew Logan’s ex-husband. Can you tell me what Ray was like?” Raul asked. Ray must have left before Dino and he were bitten. “Sergio and Alessio called him traitor.”
“Ray left the Darkfall and the pack during a time we needed everyone,” she mused. “He was strong enough to form his own pack. He never told anyone but me his reasons for leaving. We kept in touch over the years. I think he knew our friendship would come in handy one day.”
Raul nodded. “Logan reached out to us because of his help. Was Ray a decent guy?” He had to ask because he couldn’t help but measure himself against this ghost Logan still couldn’t let go of.
“Ray’s hotheaded, impulsive. At least that was his personality before, but people change.” She glanced at him. “I shouldn’t be saying this, but Logan and you are alike. He’s also conflicted, wondering if he’s betraying his former mate by wanting you. Everyone with basic observation skills can tell, I suppose. But guess what? You’re winning.”
Raul swallowed. “Michella, is that true?”
“Why don’t you find out for yourself?”
Raul growled under his breath. “Seriously?”
“Didn’t you ask me for advice?”
Raul gave her a playful shove. “Don’t be a know-it-all, little wolf.”
She gave him a wistful, almost sad look. “Sometimes I miss you like this, when you act like my big brother. The pack’s been so busy, so it’s understandable, but a bit of normal is nice.”
Frowning, Raul reached out for her hand. “Is something wrong?”
Michella rubbed at her arms as if warding herself from some invisible cold. She shook her head. “Everyone’s on edge lately, so angry, scared, or bloodthirsty. The mood’s so intense, and it’s only going to get worse.”
She halted, as if sensing she said too much. There was a knock on the door and Dino peered in.
“You guys done with chit-chat? I’m fucking starving,” Dino complained.
“No—” Raul began.
“Yup, we are,” Michella interrupted. “Do you mind getting me those chocolate-filled waffles, Dino?”
Frowning at her, Raul stood anyway. In the living room, Raul glanced at Logan, who was still fast asleep.
Seeing who he was looking at, Michella patted his arm. “Don’t worry, I’ll watch over him.”
Raul crossed his arms. He had a feeling Michella was throwing them both out so she could speak privately with Logan. Looking at Dino, he asked, “You okay with this? She’s alone.”
Dino snorted. “She’s not, Billy’s downstairs.”
“Overprotective bullies,” she muttered under her breath.
Raul didn’t know why he walked up to Logan’s sleeping figure and gave his cheek a kiss before leaving with Dino. His best friend regarded him with hooded eyes on the way down the elevator.
“What?” Raul asked, still miffed by last night.
“You really care for the Omega, huh?”
“His name is Logan,” Raul corrected.
“Logan then,” Dino said.
Raul blinked in surprise, expecting more of a fight from Dino. “What’s with the change of heart?”
Dino grunted, seemingly not interested in elaborating. They stopped by Billy’s car parked on the sidewalk and told them Michella was upstairs.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be here,” Billy said, mouth stuffed with breakfast.
Raul’s stomach rumbled. “Shut up,” he muttered to Dino.
They walked in silence to their favorite diner for a while. They were both stubborn by nature, so Raul did a good deed.
“Dino, I don’t like this rift between us. From now on, Logan’s going to be part of my life, whether you like it or not. We work closely together. Hell, we live together, so we can’t afford to fight,” he said.
“Yeah, I know. I lost it last night,” Dino admitted. “Seeing how you acted around Logan, losing control like that. It isn’t like you, Raul. You stayed behind with Logan, too, and told the rest of us to go first. I didn’t like that either. We’re partners and tackle things together.”
“I see your point,” Raul said. “But Logan’s one thing I’m going to fight for.”
“I won’t get in your way unless he gets you into trouble,” Dino promised, and that meant a lot to Raul. His best friend would someday see the strength in Logan.
“Is Michella okay? She seemed a little distracted,” Raul asked, changing topic.
“She’s been getting the brunt of negative emotions from the pack. It’s a little taxing, even for her.”
“But we’ll be all right though,” Raul said with confidence he didn’t feel.
“Yeah, like always.” Dino didn’t sound all that convincing either, but it was fine for now.
Chapter Ten
Logan woke with a yell. Sunlight hit his face and the face of a pretty, young, blonde woman looking down at him.
“Are you all right?”
He rubbed at his eyes to see Michella, in a plain, white shirt and jeans, frowning at him with concern.
“Bad dreams,” he croaked.
For some reason, she had a cold glass of water ready for him.
“Thanks, and sorry,” he mumbled, accepting the glass.
“You were in pain. There’s no reason to apologize.” She sat on the arm of the couch, swinging her legs back and forth.
“I don’t have any injuries, just scrapes and bruises,” Logan assured her.
“I don’t mean physically.” She gave him a small smile, which unnerved him, reminding him he wasn’t dealing with just anyone. He wondered if she could sense the grief in him, the guilt.
Clearing his throat, Logan looked around, surprised to see the apartment empty.
“Raul and Dino are getting breakfast. They’ll be back soon,” she said, noticing his stare.
“Did you tell them to get breakfast so you can have time to talk to me?” Logan warily asked.
She shook her head. “I don’t bite, Logan. Besides, no one tells those two to do anything. Scoot over.”
Logan folded the blanket and made space for Michella. After placing the pillow and cover aside, he nervously rubbed at his hands, unsure what to say next.
“Um, what do you want to know first?” he asked, taking initiative.
Those curious brown eyes unnerved him. She might look incredibly young on the outside, but the soul that stared back at him was old, ancient.
“When you talked with me on the phone, you spoke to me like a friend. Can I ask what changed?”
Her question stumped him. Was she playing some sort of game with him, or did she genuinely want to know?
“You scare me a little.” Not exactly Logan’s best choice of words, but he meant it.
“A lot of people say that.” There was a hint of sadness in her voice, some old hurt Logan managed to spark.
“You read people’s minds.”
“Emotions,” she corrected. “To some extent, I can alter them, too. Like with all abilities, even shifting, it’s neither good, nor evil.”
“When you mean alter, is it like what you did yesterday to calm me down?” Logan imagined that kind of power, that being a little different could make someone feel isolated. She nodded.
He could relate a little, because he might have been Ray’s mate, but Jack and the others barely tolerated him. An Omega was meant to be bred. What did his opinion matter? Jack scoffed at his idea to get help from another pack when Alpine Industries set up their lab in their territory. It was a miracle the remaining pack members followed him, or was it because they were desperate and he provided the only way out?
Michella, Raul, and the others spoke and treated him like an equal though, which was a little disorienting.
“I’m sorry,” Logan finally said, reaching out to touch her arm.
She looked startled but seemed to understand he meant every word. He was glad Dino wasn’t here because he was pretty sure Dino would rip him a new one.
“I’ve made my peace with this gift a long time ago. Besides, someone special passed them to me. Some of the pack’s enemies think I’m dangerous because of my abilities, but I’m really harmless,” she joked.
Logan shook his head. “Your brothers aren’t nice. I was being an asshole. It mustn’t be easy for you, and I never got to properly thank you yesterday. You risked a lot so we can stay here. Thank you.”
“Sergio and Alessio are really good guys. You’ll see.”
Logan didn’t share her same sentiments. It seemed they made their peace, but Logan had to ask, “Aren’t you mad with Raul?”
“Why should I be?” She regarded him. “It’s the exact opposite. I’m happy for him.”
“Why happy? I mean, haven’t you guys been together for a long time? Raul says he’s gone along with the arrangement because it’s convenient, but I don’t think it’s that.”
“Logan, think of us as a family.”
Logan snorted. “Dino and you weren’t like that last night.”
“So, you were awake, huh?” She didn’t look embarrassed. They might be around the same age, but she seemed more mature than him. “How do I explain this? Raul’s like a big brother to me, and besides, he’s gay.”
Logan’s heart thumped hard against his chest. “I lost my mate. I can’t possibly be attracted to another one.”
“Ray,” Michella mused. “Would Ray want you to stay miserable until the day you die?”
“Well,” Logan faltered, stumped by her question. “He would have wanted me to lead the others to safety and to get Bran back.”
“That’s not what I asked.” She gave him a pointed look and laughed when he let out a huff. “You know, I can tell when someone’s lying.”
“That’s not helpful,” Logan grumbled.
“Who ever said werewolves only mate once? That’s a made-up rule,” she stated.
“Of course it isn’t. Everyone knows it’s a fact,” Logan pointed out.
He couldn’t believe he was arguing with her like this, that it felt so natural, like talking to a friend he’d known for years. Damn. He was seriously beginning to like Michella.
“Is that a fact or made-up nonsense shifters decided to make a rule?” She quirked a smile, and Logan thought he saw that little bit of wildness Raul mentioned seeing in a younger Michella.
They shared so many similarities. They both lost their mates, and he finally found one friend who didn’t keep bugging him about what to do next or question his decisions. He loved Martin and Davis like brothers, but sometimes, he needed space, too.
“Take my advice, Logan. Don’t wait so long. We’re not immortal, and life’s so short, uncertain.”
Logan wondered if she was talking about her relationship with Dino. Five years, could Logan wait that long? Their conversation was interrupted by Dino and Raul returning with what gloriously smelled like breakfast. Logan’s stomach rumbled.
�
��Finally,” Michella declared. “We were starving.”
“Don’t be dramatic,” Dino mumbled, walking by the couch to ruffle her hair.
Logan stood, biting back a remark at the sight of the two huge enforcers who both looked beat up and sullen. “What the hell happened?”
“Logan, don’t you worry about it. This is how boys get when they get all rowdy,” Michella said, sounding dismissive. She began setting the table.
“You guys have been talking about us, haven’t you?” Raul asked, looking at Logan. Logan bit his lip. Why was he ecstatic to see Raul? Raul set the paper bags down and walked right up to him. “Did you have a good sleep?”
Logan wanted to touch him, to give him a good morning kiss. Oh screw this. He got to his feet, lost his nerve halfway to Raul, but Raul reached out, grabbing his hand and tugging him close. Their lips touched, igniting the fire inside him. His toes curled. They’d only parted for the night, yet Logan missed Raul’s closeness, his heat, and the familiar solid feel of his body, so strong and unyielding. Unbreakable.
“Dino, we should go,” Michella was saying.
“What? Why? I’m not about to be kicked out from my own apartment before eating breakfast,” Dino protested.
“We’ll get you something along the way. Emergency meeting.”
Logan had a feeling she made that up, but was grateful to hear the front door slam shut. Raul released his mouth. Logan panted, wanting more. Raul’s gaze held his captive, golden with hunger. They put off the inevitable clash of their bodies the night before, but it seemed neither could hold out any longer.
Damn Michella for asking that question. Ray wouldn’t be happy Logan would waste his life mourning his death. No, Ray would be pissed, because Ray was the kind of guy who enjoyed life, every aspect of living.
Logan wasn’t foolish enough to blow off a once-in-a-lifetime chance with a man so perfect for him. The Omega wolf in him didn’t protest, not once. It had eyed Raul’s dominant beast the night before and knew Raul was the one.
“I changed my mind,” Logan said, heart thudding against his chest. “I don’t think I can wait. Whether this is wrong or I’ll be condemned to the afterlife, we make our own decisions.”
