DysFUNCTIOpia

by Jose Moreno

  ****

  Once Barón had set the plan to his altruistic brother, he had to get in touch with the other two loyal teen-agers, who did not participate in the difficult functio-assault, in order to inform them that the HIEG worked; thus, it was time for them to be ready to carry out the next part of their well crafted plan. With this intension, he turned on the functiomaton, said “Send the following books to the following students…” and uttered the name of the three members of the group. Before sending the pictures, he took out a paper and a pen from a box under his bed in order to write the message. He wrote on the notepad,

  “I was successful. It is time to go to the Northern Valley as we had talked. Tomorrow morning, I will be going. If you are still interested, my brother will pick you up. Sabotage your oven and request my brother’s service by entering the employee number 722711. He will provide you with a WIF. Turn it on right before you take off the other. No questions. If you are interested, send me a confirmation message”.

  Quickly, Barón encrypted the message, using one of the many encryption keys that he had, and, using software, hid the message into a virtual book. First, he sent a virtual book with the key used to encrypt the message to each of the four students. Then, he sent the virtual book with the actual message. Each of them already knew how to decode the message from a virtual book. Then, Barón waited for them to respond.

  At 9:35 am, they all had responded by sending a book with their hidden response to Barón’s message. All three of them had confirmed that they were going with Barón to the Edge of the Northern California Valley.

  Now, it was time to go to the hospital as a volunteer and obtain three WIFs. At 10:12 am, he walked out of his home towards the bullet train station. At 10:20am, he was on the bullet train heading towards the hospital where Barón usually volunteered helping the elderly with simple tasks. He arrived at the doors of the hospital at 10:35am. He made a line where all employees were entering. When it was his turn, he stood in front of the door. The sensors at the door scanned him from top to bottom. Then, the doors opened and he walked towards the chambers where he usually was stationed. Once he arrived there, the doctor in charge of that particular section spotted him,

  “Hello Mr. Poetry! How are you today?”

  “I am fine. I am ready to work. I am ready to help grand fathers get ready for your torture”

  “Oh! Come on! All the functiomatons in my section are programmed to be as gentle as a breeze.”

  “Sure…If you say so it must be true.”

  “Yes they are. In fact, given that you are so preoccupied with the pain of the patients while they are under my care, why don’t you go to all the chambers, ask how they are doing, and check the functiomatons that help those grand fathers change clothes to make sure those patients are not being tortured in any way.”

  “Ok. I will do that. I will go grab that tool box. “

  Barón left the area where the chief doctor was and walked towards the hall where all the chambers were lined up on both sides of the hall. Instead of starting right on the first one, he walked until he found someone sleeping. He was looking on the 3rd chamber on his right: There was Mr. Smith snoring. He walked in the chamber and checked the functiomaton that helped patients change clothes, taking quick looks around the room trying to look for the WIF. He saw it on the little table right next to his bed. He walked towards the table, grabbed it quickly, and exited the room. He knew that the security agent could have observed the theft through the ODF, but it was unlikely that he noticed every little detail from every single room. After all, there was nothing suspicious about a legitimate volunteer working around a room with permission of the chief doctor. Then, he walked around hallway again, passing several chambers. Fortunately, half of the patients seemed to be asleep.

  He repeated the operation two more times, placing the devices on the tool box.

  Immediately after stealing the last WIF, he went to the bathroom –a place where one could still have privacy from any ODFs. Inside one of the stall rooms, he opened his TRS zipper on the legs, and placed the WIFs around his legs making sure that they remained off.

  He knew that security agents were going to find out that he stole the WIFs eventually; however, Barón also knew that most likely they were not going to find out about the theft until the patients were released from the hospital—at 12:00pm the next day. By then, he was hoping to be far away from Truxes.

  Barón went back to the chambers to do what the doctor asked him to do. He checked all the functiomaton devices that took care of the patients and he found that eighty percent of them were working well. He fixed the program of all the other ones. After working for 2 hours in the chambers, he immediately checked out. He passed as soon as possible where the chief doctor was—fortunately, he was not there. He kept walking towards the main door. Finally, he stepped out of the hospital nervously, knowing that he had committed a Federal Crime, and that he was going to be made responsible—possibly, sometime after 12:00pm the next day.

  At 12:50 pm, he was in the bullet train heading back home. He sat on the bullet train: Barón was very tired from not sleeping too well for a week; he turned on his functiomaton alarm, and set it so that he could wake up one minute before he arrived at the old jazz corner station. Before he went to sleep, Barón touched all the wrist WIF devices in his legs and muttered, “If I were an adult, I could take mine off”. Finally, he rested his head on the Bullet train’s seat and closed his eyes.

  At 1:05 pm, the train arrived at the train station near the Old Jazz corner. Instead of using the elevator, Barón used the stairs. When he was approaching the ground level, he noticed that his brother was waiting for him inside his work vehicle. Once on the ground level, Barón ran to the car and quickly entered it. Then, Barón said,

  “I got them! I got them! Make all the windows dark so that I can take all the devices out my legs.”

  Then, his brother said to the car’s VRS

  “Make windows dark”

  The window became slightly dark. Then, Barón opened up his TRS exposing his legs. He took three of them off and handed them to Oliver, “Here Oliver! Take them and drop them to the others as soon as possible.”

  “Sure. I will drop them in certified mail boxes so that they are the only ones opening them. Look! I have a bunch of them in the back seat.”

  “Good idea!”

  Then, Barón closed his TRS again.

  “Oliver, can you drop me off at home?”

  “Sure. Let’s do it quickly. It is my break time and I would like to have enough time to each my lunch.”

  “I understand…sorry…but, thank you very much for everything.”

  “Do not mention it.”

  Oliver drove off feeling satisfied that his brother had accomplished his mission. At 1:13 pm, Oliver arrived at the front gate. Without saying a word, Barón came out of the car and tried to relax. He opened the door; then, he entered and noticed that his father was setting up the table,

  “Hey Barón, How was your day at the hospital?”

  “It was fine,” Baron replied tried not to look suspicious for having stolen WIFs; he was trying not to feel guilty

  With a jovial tone of voice, his father added, “Today we are going to have potatoes with vegetables and a little…” trying to entice Baron’s appetite.

  However, wanting to disappear from the leaving room, Baron nervously responded, “I am not hungry. I have some stuff to do.”

  “When you look at it, you are going to love it. Let me bring the pot,” Baron’s father insisted.

  Then, Barón’s dad ran to the kitchen, grabbed the pot, carried it to the table, and opened it up for Barón. The sight of whatever his dad had prepared was appetizing for Baron; However, Barón had to get to work on his next operation; he responded, “I am not too hungry. I will take two potatoes to my room.”

  “You have to make sure also to eat the vegetables. I want your blood monitors to show that you have been well nourished at home. I d
o not want a drop in our federal Income,” Baron’s father responded slightly upset.

  Barón looked at his father directly in the eyes and grabbed his shoulder knowing that this was goodbye; then, trying not to cry, he said, “I appreciate everything you do for me dad. I have things to do that you do not understand because you have been too busy doing what you had to do. It is not your fault.”

  “I do not understand what you are saying”

  “You will understand very soon.”

  “Everyone has been sounding strange lately. Even your brother was very emotional about a trip he was going to do.”

  “You will know…you will know….”

  “Whatever it is good luck. Barón, I apologize for being so naïve. I know you are a super intelligent”

  “It is not your fault dad. You were just a victim of power.”

  Barón’s dad seemed puzzled by the word “power”; he tried not to think too deeply, remained silent, and smirked.

  Holding his tears, he quickly grabbed two potatoes, and walked fast towards his room. As soon as he entered, he put the two potatoes on the table; then, he closed the door, locked it, and remained by the door touching his eyes with both hands making sure no tears rolled down; he could not let his feeling get on the way. In order to swallow his self pity, he focused on the next step: It was time to set the projection unit.

  From under Barón’s bed, he took out an old projector he had purchased illegally –It was a projector that had no government registration. Then, he took out the screen. He set the screen in front of the ODF of the LEF. Next, he turned on the projector and inserted a DVD –an item that became obsolete from the USA market in the year 2020, usually used to watch movies at home. The DVD contained a recording of him; Barón had made the recording several weeks before. He put the projector next to the computer, turned on the projector, and observed the image on the screen: The screen showed a recording of Barón while he was taking a class. He was expecting that such a recording would fool the agents that checked student attendance through the ODF; nevertheless, he knew that he could only fool the security agents that checked student attendance for no more than an hour. The voice recorded was going to play in a timely manner during the registration process; on the other hand, after registration, Mr. Einstein, during the first period, was going to ask random questions; as a result, suspicion was going to be raised. Baron correctly thought that the first thing they were going to do was to check the connection of the LEF with the CEF. Then, security agents were going to look at the image closely; after they noticed the image of Baron was disengaged with the functio-class, a call was going to be made to a functiomaton technician nearby to go inspect the functiomaton (after obtaining permission from Barón’s father); finally, a security agent was going to be called to report a student missing. Barón and the other teen-agers were hoping that, by showing the projected images of themselves, they were going to obtain enough time to leave Truxes before authorities were aware that they were gone from the city. They were all fortunate that the ODFs did not operate with infrared radiation.

  Thus, it was important that the projected image looked as much as possible as the real image. To make sure the projected image proportions matched his image, he moved the screen back and forth. Then, he rotated the screen around the position were the image was the correct size to make sure there were no distortion in the image. Once he was satisfied by the size of the projected image, he sat down next to the table, and slowly took two bites from his potatoes.

  It was 2:36 pm, when he unlocked his door, opened it slightly, piped with just one eye, and walked out slowly out of his room. He noticed that his dad was not around. It was time to cut a wire from the oven and request the service of his brother as early as possible. First, he dashed to the kitchen, opened one of the electronic drawers, and pulled out a knife. Then, he inserted the knife on the back vent of the oven. He moved the knife up and down many times. At last, he heard a popping sound. Then, he took out the knife and he tried to turn on the oven with his left hand while his right hand was still holding the knife. Finally, he noticed, after turning on the oven, that a sign came up: “REQUEST REPAIR SERVICE”

  After doing the essential premeditated bestial deed, it was time to request the service of his brother. Using repair service request unit on the wall of the kitchen, he dialed #722711. Immediately, a message came out: “REQUESTED EMPLOYEE SCHEDULE: 1) 6: 45 am; 2) 7:00 am; 3) 7:10 am; ENTER APPROPRIATE TIME:_____________”

  Barón smiled since he noticed that the others were ready for pick up in the morning. He entered 7:20 am. Then, another message appeared, “ENTER THE TYPE OF SERVICE REQUESTED: ______________.”

  Barón entered the code 0745, which corresponded to a functiomaton inspection. Then, Barón waited while he was muttering, “Come on, come on, come on…” After 50 seconds, a message came out, “EMPLOYEE HAS ACCEPTED ASSIGNMENT.”

  It was 10:00 pm, the time when he was supposed to go to sleep. Instead, Barón was filling out his backpack with the things that he was going to need the next day. Then, he called Carl,

  “Hey Carl, it is me. Are you ready?”

  “Why are you calling me? Send your message through the usual means…”

  “It is Ok. Even if this conversation is heard, we are not going to say anything essential, right?”

  “Oh…I see…. What is going on?”

  “I am all packed up and the projector is set. How are you and the others doing?”

  “Our projectors are set, as we agreed, and we are all packed up. I am not going to say the items over the phone….”

  “That is right. Do not say them.”

  “Ok. I will be seeing you soon.”

  “That is right.”

  Barón dropped his body on his bed, looking at the ceiling, and rehearsing theoretically his every move for the next day. Finally, he thought the best thing to do, given the herculean task that he had ahead, was to rest.

  It was 4:07am when he opened his eyes. He was still wearing the same termosuit from the day before –He usually wore pajamas before going to bed. He jumped out of the bed anxiously, turned on the projector, and the device that was going to play his voice. He programmed the projector and voice player to begin at 7:30 am. Then, it was time to take out what Barón considered his shackle: He had to quickly turn on the WIF he had stolen, and quickly remove the WIF he had on his right hand, so that the satellite did not detect a double signal for more than a minute. He had left the stolen WIF device on his table; it remained turned off.

  First, he grabbed the stolen WIF. He opened it; then, he operated on the delicate electronics with a metal pin so that the device ID matched his ID –this was a protocol that was practiced theoretically with the other members of the group. In order to take out the other device from his wrist, Barón grabbed a hammer from the drawer with his left hand, walked to the table, and placed his wrist on top of the table. He had to break the device and quickly turn the other one on in less than a minute –if the satellite detected a double signal for more than a minute then a report to one of the security agents was going to be sent in order to investigate. Thus, Barón took a look at the clock in order to record the time: it was 4:10:05. He took a deep breath and hit his wrist device with the hammer. He quickly took it off; immediately afterwards, he hit it again on the table with the hammer to make sure it remained turned off. He noticed the device was dead. It was 4:10:25. He had just a few seconds to turn on the other one. He quickly grabbed the stolen WIF with his left hand; with his right hand, he presses the “On” area. At 4:10:37, a green light from the device turned on, indicating that the device was working. He put the new wrist device on the table, where he was going to leave permanently, in order to fool the CEF and the officials that he was still in his room the next day. Finally, Barón briskly exhaled, and threw his body on his nearby bed, relieved from the ordeal.

  Now, all he had to do was to wait for 7:20 am. In the mean time, he grabbed his pen, the old fashion 1900’s not
epad, and wrote:

  “It is 4:12 am of the 14th of April, 2054: t is the exodus from techno slavery. I anxiously wait for the Lord of humanity to come and take me back to the Promised Land. With hard work, I will try to survive. Amen”.

  After writing, he took a look around his room, took a deep breath, and flipped the page of his Notepad. Then, he wrote:

  “Dad:

  You are the most caring Dad in the world. Oliver and I are fortunate. We have to leave this place for reasons that will become obvious took you. It was not you that made us leave. It was what was going on in the world. Goodbye.”

  Barón could not help his eyes contain the tears. He tore out the note from the notepad and placed it on the bed so that Barón’s father was able to notice it eventually. Then, nostalgically, he sat on the chair. He reminisced about his loving family: Barón remembered how his caring dad was always there for him in spite of their lack of meaningful communication. He remembered his wise grandfather who fostered Barón’s sense of humanity. He remembered the good times with his brother. He was melancholic about the big part of his world that was going to passively die for the sake of human freedom.

  At 6:23 am, Barón heard the front door of his house being opened and closed quickly, interrupting Barón’s depressive reflection. Barón jumped from his chair and ran to the window to be able to see his dad walking out of the house towards the car right in front of the front gate. Saddened, Barón observed his dad wearing his dark TRS and carrying his box of tool with his right hand. Barón whispered, “I love you dad,” walked back towards the chair slowly, looking at the floor, thinking that it was going to be the last time he saw him.

  Security guards started to patrol the streets at 6:30 am. Barón could see the lights of their land cars while the cars moved at 25 mile per hour on the streets, making sure that only adults, possibly going to work, were on the streets. Also, they made sure that no cars were transporting minors anywhere. Occasionally, they slowed down the traffic, and they scanned the land vehicles with radio waves in order to look for signs of WIFs or blood monitors, indicating hidden teen-agers in the vehicle.

  He still had plenty of time to properly dispose of the blood monitor. In order to get rid of it, he went out of his room, dashed to the back patio door, and called the dog, “Popeye!” Then, the black bull dog right outside the patio door began to whimper. After Popeye moved three feet away from the door so that Barón was able to open it, He opened the door and rubbed the dog’s head. Then, Barón began to scratch Popeye’s muscular back with his left hand. While he was scratching the dog, Barón used his right hand to loosen the small belt that held the blood monitor around his left wrist. Once it was loose, he took out quickly the monitor which had two half inch needles; then, stuck monitor quickly on the left leg of the dog. Barón stopped scratching and used both hands to fasten the monitor to the dog’s leg. While the dog was slightly whimpering, Barón was saying, “Everything will be O.K” Once Barón notice the device was fasted he said, “Popeye, because you eat healthy, no one is going to notice the difference”.

  Barón was starting to become anxious by 7:05 am considering the possible ways in which things could go wrong. He was beginning to think that his brother changed his mind, and he did not dare to carry out the operation. Also, he was thinking that it was possible that he got caught by a security patrol car already. However, the only thought that gave him comfort was that, to give freedom to humanity as a whole, one has to assume that one is already in a county jail.

  Thus, he decided to stand by the window in order to run to the door as soon as he noticed his brother’s car. At 7:12 am, relieved, he noticed Oliver’s car slowing down in front of his door at the parking place were his dad had been just a few hours ago. Barón’s heart began to beat faster. From the window, he saw how his brother comes out of the car looking around the street as if he was looking for someone. Then, he ran to the door, took out his key, and opened the door. When Barón heard the buzzing sound which indicated that the door was being opened by someone, he snatched his backpack from the floor, and ran to meet his brother at the front. Once he saw the shadow of his brother in the deemed day light, in a low voice, Barón whispered,

  “Did you see any guards?”

  “Yes, I did. We are going to stay here for just five minutes so that we do not raise any suspicion. I am supposed to be looking at your Oven.”

  “I see what you are saying. Now, how do I go to the car?”

  “The same way the other ones did. I am going to the car. Then, I will close my door. Through this window, look at me when I sit in the front, and you wait for my hand signal. Then, you walk fast to the car making sure you cover your head and face as much as possible so that the ODFs cannot determine whether you are a teen or not. As soon as you get in cover your body with the sheets and do not move too much.”

  “Ok.”

  At 7:18 am, Oliver walked back to the car, looked around, opened the door and sat in the front seat. Meanwhile, Barón put on his TRS hood on and his backpack. Barón was looking through the living room window waiting for Oliver’s signal. Oliver did not seem to be doing anything for 4 minutes and Barón’s heart was beating fast again. At last, Oliver scratched his forehead indicating to Barón that it was guard free now. Barón opened the door of the house and closed it quickly, walked out fast towards the vehicle making sure not to run. Then, he arrived at the car, opened the car door and sat on the immediate seat. As soon as Barón was inside, the door closed automatically; then, Oliver said to the vehicle, “Maximum Darkness on windows”. Immediately, all the windows became so dark that it was hard to see outside from inside or vice versa. Then, Oliver said, “Camera vision and car lights”. Several screens turned on at the dash board. Barón immediately took out his hood, grabbed the sheet that was on the seat, lay down on the seat, and covered all his body with the sheet.

  Then, concerned, Barón asked, “Where is the rest of the group?”

  “I am right below you! The thing you were stepping on was my leg.” Carl responded slightly upset, but glad that Barón was finally in the vehicle.

  Happy to hear Carl’s deep voice coming two feet below Barón’s resting place, Barón replied, “Oh…Sorry Carl.”

  From the back seat, Mary said, “We were not going to miss all the fun.”

  Martin responded in a sleepy tone, “Guy! I am trying to sleep back here. Did you know I woke up early today for a special project?”

  Every teen-ager burst into laughter. On the other hand, Oliver was not laughing. He had not moved the vehicle from the drive way and it was 7:30am. Oliver said in a somber tone of voice, “We are not coming back. Is there anyone that wants to stay? Speak now.” Then, Barón began to count, “1…2…3…4…” and right before he said the next number, everyone said in unison “Viva la revolucion!” Oliver smiled sensing their unanimous consent and started to move the vehicle.

  Oliver was preoccupied about the many security agents he saw, “Kids, remain silent, do not talk, and do not move. Sooner or later we might have an encounter with a security agent.”

  Oliver drove his vehicle along Central Avenue and headed north for 7 blocks. Then, he startled when he noticed an unfortunate check point. Worried, Oliver said, “Guys, we are out of luck. I see a check point ahead. If I move the vehicle now, I am going to look suspicious.”

  All the land vehicles started to get jammed. Then, Vehicles were static. Oliver looked at the sky how the air vehicles were streaming without restrain and could not help envy their wealthy owners. Then, vehicles moved forward slowly. Then, vehicles stopped again.

  Oliver muttered, “Guys, we are going to be scanned” trying not to exasperate. Then, the vehicles moved forward again and he could see a man walking from vehicle to vehicle for a visual inspection. Oliver commanded the vehicle in a loud voice, “Vehicle, clear windows!”. All the windows became transparent. Finally, the man came to the window closest Oliver,

  -Good morning! I can see that you came to wo
rk in the area. I am going to take a look around the vehicle.

  The man walked from window to window and noticed the sheets and something under those sheets.

  Then, the man went back to the window closest to Oliver and, suspecting something, he asked “Sir, what do you have under those sheets?”

  Trying to act calmed, Oliver smiled and replied with a sanguine tone of voice, “I have tools that I need. They need to be covered in order to make sure dust particle do not get to them because otherwise, when I use them…”

  “Ok. No problem. We will scan the vehicle.” The man responded being convinced about the plausibility of Oliver’s story and his great acting.

  There were three cars ahead of their vehicle and there was a metal arch ahead where cars passed through in order to be scanned. The first one goes in. Then, the second vehicle passed through. Finally, it was Oliver’s turn and he was nervous. Oliver could hear his heart beat as he slowly passed the car through the metal arch. Once he is on the other side, he his neck stiff, and his back was tight. He paid attention to the man standing next to the arch checking the results from the scan. The man looked very serious and concerned. He did not say anything for 40 seconds and remained focused on the screen of a monitor that showed the results from the scan. Finally, he called the man that was checking the cars visually and they talk back and forth for several minutes.

  After their discussion, the man checking the cars visually walked again to Oliver’s window, “Sir, we register heat activity on the back of your car. What do you have on the back?”

  Again, Oliver used his quick wit and replied, “I have work equipment that heats up occasionally near body temperature due to the resistance….”

  The man interrupted his monotonous speech and, twisting his mouth and examining the back of the car with his wild eyes, he asked, “Can I take a look at the back?”

  “Of course, you may take a look at it,” responded Oliver, pretending to be nonchalant, but, in reality, he was boiling.

  The man looked at Oliver directly in the eyes. Oliver remained stolid.

  Then, the man said, “Ok. I believe you. You are in the area just working and you have devices on the back that produces heat. That is sufficient. Just go ahead.”

  Oliver answered confidently and with a smile, “Whatever you say.” Oliver drove his vehicle out of the check point slowly making sure not to raise any suspicion.

  After two blocks from the check point, Oliver darkens the windows again and Mary said, “I told you we were going to pass the check points. My dad works as a school security agent. They cannot inspect a car without probable cause. It was determined by the superior court in McNeal vs. Aguirre: If they do not detect teen-ager ID’s then they do not have the legal right to inspect.”

  Then, Oliver said “Yeah. It worked; but, we have to get out of here as soon as possible. We have to beat the land traffic and all the possible random check points that we will encounter which will be just slowing us down.”

  Martin responded, “Do not worry. We will remain covert until we get out of the city. Does anyone know a good joke in the mean time?” Barón said, “I know a good one: what is the similarity between powerful computer and a wonderful functiomaton? Any guess…? No? Do you give up? The similarity is that both of them do not exist”. Every one booed Barón’s joke except Oliver, who was looking for signs, in the vehicle monitor, of possible check points along the way. Every time he observed congestion points, he changed his path. Oliver said, “I do not want to kill your spirits, but getting to the Northern valley is going to take longer than expected. I see many possible check points. Moreover, I am trying to avoid residential areas, which are the places where check points are usually located.” Carl responded, “I am sure we can make it through the check points.” Then, Barón explain to Carl, “Yes, we could go through the check points; However, the issue is the time: Soon, they will know that we are gone.”

  Oliver kept analyzing the situation and changing streets. Little by little, more factories and gigantic functiomatons began to pre-dominate the streets. Oliver said to the group, “Very soon, we will get to a freeway. Do not remove your sheets yet.” It was 8:03 am and they were passing through an adjacent city.

  At last, after crossing the adjacent city, Oliver noticed that the freeway entrance. “Ladies and gentleman: we are about to board the freeway!” Then Oliver started the countdown, “10..9…8…7…6…5…4..3…2..1…We are on it!” As soon as Oliver uttered the last phrase, everyone removed their sheets and screamed joyfully. Barón said, “Finally I can sit down!”

  ***