DysFUNCTIOpia

by Jose Moreno

CHAPTER VIII***

  At 7:53 pm, they arrived at the cabin. Nicholas took out an old fashion key and used it to open up the wooden door.

  “I had not seen one of those!” Mary said. “They are cute,” added Mary referring to the shiny silver galvanization of the metallic keys.

  They all walked in the cabin and paid attention to every detail in the cabin. For the teen-agers, it was like they were in an old movie: There was an old slow computer in the living room, a key board, a computer mouse, a wooden table, wooden chairs, an old fashion T.V., a CD player, paper photographs on the walls, candles and chandeliers everywhere.

  “You may all sit at the table. I will serve dinner,” said Nicholas. Then, Nicholas walked into his room and closed the door.

  All the teen-agers sat at the wooden table and waited for Nicholas to come out of the room. They were still examining every detail of the room; everything they were seeing was evidence that Nicholas was truly on their side.

  Carl whispered, “I think we are in good company”. Everyone nodded.

  After six minutes, Nicholas came out and said, “I went to my room to put on more comfortable clothes.” Then, he walked to the kitchen area, which was right next to the living room where the table was; there was no wall separating the kitchen from the living room. “I am going to make some coffee directly from Colombia. I hope you guys do not mind.”

  “Oh…we do not take any drugs.” Said Mary concerned.

  Nicholas chuckled and said “Coffee was not considered a drug by teen-agers during my time.”

  “I do not mind having some coffee,” said Martin.

  “I want coffee too,” said Barón.

  Carl, trying not to be the odd one, said, “I will also have coffee.”

  Mary responded, “Carl, you do not have to do it just because other people do it.”

  Carl replied, “I do not think that coffee will harm me. Many cultures around the world had coffee for centuries.”

  Wanting to change the subject, Nicholas cleared his throat, and said, “I am going to serve a nice delicious dinner for you all: Mashed potatoes with beans. Also, we are going to have some buttered rolls.”

  “That is OK,” replied Mary, “I had some donuts from Mexico earlier today!”

  “Really! I miss donuts! Well, at least here, we can all eat or drink whatever we want. In fact, that is one reason I live out here: I feel free to make my food choices. I do not want a damned doctor tracking down my blood with some device in order to get government benefits. I live just fine out here. When it is my time to die, I will gladly go with the lord,” said Nicholas while he was opening a container that contained the mush potatoes.

  Everyone at the table kept listening to Nicholas, sympathizing with him. They were all feeling sad that an old man like Nicholas had to live alone in order to be able to adapt to radical technological changes that were taking place. Furthermore, they were all feeling admiration for his courage to face death in defense of his believes in privacy. Technology had made his life more difficult.

  Barón stood up from his chair, looked into Nicholas eyes from the table and, in a serious tone of voice, said, “Nicholas, if you need help around here, let us know. We would like to help you.”

  “Thank you. I appreciated it” responded Nicholas while he was taking some plates out of the cabinets and stacking them on the counter. “Today, however, because you are my guests of honor, I will serve you.”

  Barón sat down while Nicholas was opening a black bean container he had filled up earlier that day. Then, Nicholas scattered the plates on the counter and filled the plates with almost equal volumes of mash potatoes and black beans. Next, Nicholas took out, from the wooden drawer, spoons for each of the plates, placing them on top of each plate, and making sure the spoon handle remained untouched by the food he had just served. Once the plates were ready, he grabbed a tray that was also on the counter and put all the plates on one tray. Finally, he picked up the tray with both hands, holding the tray steadily while he walked towards the table. “Dinner is served. I will get the rolls in a second,” Nicholas said placing the tray on the table.

  “Go ahead. We will unload the plates now,” Mary said while giving a sweet smile to Nicholas.

  Nicholas went back to the kitchen, grabbed a basket full of biscuits, carried it to the table, and placed the basket in the middle. “They are already buttered. I hope you do not mind some cholesterol.”

  “Not at all!” responded Carl while looking at the basket. “They look good to me.”

  Nicholas sat at the table and grabbed a plate from the tray. Then, he said, “I would like to make a prayer. I am going to begin: Lord, thank you for this meal and thank you for letting me share it with all this visitors who want to come closer to you and away from deception. Amen”

  Mary, with eyes ready to burst in tears and with a voice breaking said, “Now, I will… make a prayer… I am thankful for being here… for being here… with this sweet and loving man.” As soon as she finished the last word, she burst into tears. Then, she wiped her tears with her sleeve and continued, “I am so glad....that…Nicholas came across our path… he is a beautiful soul.”

  “Amen Lord,” replied Nicholas being moved by Mary’s prayer.

  Then, Barón volunteered, “I would like to thank Nicholas for offering his service. He makes me believe that our cause is justified.”

  As soon as Barón finished, Martin added, “I am thankful that Nicholas is willing to sacrifice for what he considers to be a noble cause”

  Immediately Carl added, “I am thankful for what Nicholas has done for us”

  They all remained silent for 6 seconds while Nicholas was trying to interpret what all the teen-agers had said in their prayers. Nicholas simply responded, “Ah…Thank you Lord,” trying not to inquire into the reason why they all did not mention the word “Lord” in their prayers. Then, he said, “Well…Let’s eat!”

  They all had a silent dinner. Everyone was reminiscing about the day they had and about their feelings. Nobody wanted to share their fears with everyone else. It was simpler just to chew and swallow. They did not look at each other. They were all anxious.

  Then, they all finished their meals and it was time to talk. Nicholas said first, “So…Are they looking for you?” All the teen-agers reacted with conspicuous body movements, knowing that it was time to confront what they had left behind. They trusted Nicholas; but, he could also pull the truth about their feelings –He had become a father figure.

  Bravely, Carl said, “Our parents are probably going crazy looking for us. But, we had to leave.”

  Like a good detective, Nicholas did not want to confront them, but gain their trust so that they could speak freely. In order gain their trust, Nicholas thought that it would be better to share his life. He said, “Kids, I would like to share something with you.”

  Nobody responded anything. The teen-agers thought that it would be less uncomfortable to listen to whatever he had to say than to bring forward their feelings.

  “First, I need to bring something from my room. It will just be a second,” Nicholas said while he was slowly standing up from his chair. He took a step forward, put his right hand on his lower back, and rubbed the muscle: He felt pain on the lower back when he stood up. Then, after he noticed the pain was gone, he walked slowly towards his room. After four minutes, he came back to the table with a cardboard box, and said, “Here I have things that are memorable. I would like to show you my book of pictures.” On the top of the box, there was a black binder. He took it and put it on the table. Then, he picked up the box and put it on the floor so that everyone at the table could appreciate the picture book: He opened it up to the first page and showed it to all the teen-agers while he was using the table to sustain the book – His left hand made sure that it did not fall flat on the table. He said, “This is me when I was in high school. These are all my friends. We were part of a gang”

  The word ‘gang’ made his listeners looked at one another
and think critically what Nicholas had meant by gang. Nicholas noticed their reaction and added, “Back then, there were many gangs in schools. We used to ‘compete’ with one another and we felt that we owned the neighborhood. We felt that a particular group of people was trying to control us in every way possible by means of the police. For us, the police was just another gang.”

  Barón dared to ask, “What kind of people you thought was trying to control you?”

  “We thought that it was people with a particular color of skin,” Nicholas responded.

  Martin, knowing what Nicholas was implying, responded, “I understand the color of skin you are referring too.”

  Mary asked Nicholas, “Do you still think that?”

  Nicholas replayed, “No. I do not think that power comes with a color skin. I think that power does not have a human face anymore.”

  All the teen-agers were trying to hold themselves from talking too much. They had agreed before to reveal information on a need-to-know basis. They were not sure if they could trust Nicholas with their functio-guerilla agenda for the future. Nicholas seemed liked someone who supported their philosophy; On the other hand, they were not sure if he would support functio-assaults. Fortunately, Nicholas seemed more understanding than their parents—his life paralleled their own. However, they were not going to let the accepting father figure make them cathartic. Thus, they allowed Nicholas to do all the talking

  Nicholas continue, “well…I guess what I am trying to say is that I understand you all. Now, you do not strike me as the kind of people that would harm anyone. You are just a just ditching from school permanently.” Nicholas chuckled knowing there were deeper motivations to their actions; On the other hand, he was not going to turn them in, feeling that what was happening to them resembled the issues he went through as a teen-ager. He believed that truth should reveal itself independently, not by external coercive measures like the ones enforced by the government who, he believed, had become “an extension of the police”. Then, Nicholas remained silent and looked at all the teen-agers; he cuffed, cleared his throat, and said, “well…I think you are going to miss the girls and the boys back home…Did you live any girlfriend or boyfriend in Truxes?”

  Barón, as the leader of the Proud Zeros and knowing that the question did not compromise their operation, responded, “We are not attracted to boys or girls. We are Non-libidinous.”

  Suddenly, Nicholas began to laugh hysterically for 24 seconds. From the point of view of the group, he was laughing like an insane man and put into question his mental stability. Furthermore, they thought that he was going to have a heart attack at any minute or die of suffocation –It seemed to them that he only took three deep breaths in those 24 seconds. His body was shaking as if he was having seizure. His faced had turned slightly purple. Then, for an additional 19 seconds, he was cuffing frantically and trying to catch his breath. At last, trying not to laugh, he was able to utter, “I never thought… I would live to see this!” and giggled.

  Upset, Barón responded, “Are you O.K? Why is it so funny? We certainly do not see it funny. It is something we have to deal with everyday. It is not a laughing matter. I am sorry to say that.”

  Nicholas changed his facial expression from joyful to sorrowful; he took seriously what Barón had shared. Nicholas began to feel guilty about his faux pa and felt that it was necessary to make amends. “I apologize. I just did not know how to deal with that information. It was unheard during my youthful time.” Finally, Nicholas became silent and closed his eyes expecting any of them to continue. He was truly sorry.

  Nicholas’ sudden mood change and his heartfelt apology caused by Barón’s statements made the Proud Zero members feel that they were being unfair. It was not fair to expect an 84 year old man to be understanding of an issue that was not talked about at all. Thus, they all felt obligated to instruct him as they often did to people willing to listen to their cause. Martin began, “Ok…do not worry about what was said by Barón. I apologize on his behalf. What he was trying to say is that we find difficult to be accepted by others because we live in a libidinous world. On the other hand, we feel proud not to have those desires at all because we do not have to waste our time in getting a girlfriend or a boyfriend.”

  Nicholas replied almost whispering, “Oh my god! Is that why you are all here?”

  Mary responded upset, “No. We are here because we do not want any functiomatons in our lives.”

  Nicholas was skeptical about the response given by Mary. He believed that they were there because they felt rejected by other teen-agers. That belief made him not want to question their personal lives anymore. In his mind, those teen-agers were looking for a place where they could be accepted. Nicholas felt that he had the obligation to be compassionate towards them from that moment on. In this way, he said, “My home is your home. Let’s say no more. I hope my house it the paradise that you dream about.”

  Barón responded, “I am sorry if I was too harsh.”

  Nicholas replied, “No problem. I hope you love to live around this hill. This place is not a paradise, but it does have rewards.”

  Carl used the opportunity to make a practical question, “What kind of problems we could run into around these hills? Are there any wild animals? Are there more people like you living nearby? Are there any flying patrols?”

  Now, it was time for Nicholas to share personal experiences; however, he did not want to give out too much information about himself. He said hesitantly, “well…you have to be careful with wolves and bears…Let’s see…I believe there are some scattered inhabitants around this area…we do not see flying patrols around very often.”

  “You believe there are people around? Are you not sure?” Mary asked

  “Well… I think I saw someone…but, I did not…pay much attention to…details” Nicholas responded not wanting to give much information that revealed that Nicholas had no legal government authorization to leave around that place and, for that reason, he was trying to hide as much as possible from strangers visiting the area. He was living in a property that did not belong to him. Furthermore, he had not legal credentials to hunt around that area, which had been transformed by the government into a sanctuary for endangered species. It was important for him just to answer the questions without adding details.

  Barón was well informed about the area and suspected that Nicholas was hiding important information. He dared to ask, “Do you not want people to see you?”

  Feeling like he was on the witness stand and knowing he was not a good liar, Nicholas decided to confess to them that his stay among those hills was not what they thought. Nervously, Nicholas said, “Well…I… do not have a permit to leave around here…”

  Martin replied, “Oh! So you are an outlaw just like us! This is irony!”

  Barón added, “Well, well, well! We are on the same boat.”

  Mary said, “This is interesting… That means there are not many flying patrols around here…”

  Nicholas was feeling more relieved once he noticed the responses of the teen-agers. Thus, it was time for another apology: “I am sorry I kept it to myself. I did not know if I could trust you.”

  “You can trust us. We are on your side,” Barón said to Nicholas while grabbing his shoulder and looking at him directly in the eyes

  Nicholas felt that he could trust them and explained, “I came to live around this area twenty years ago when people started to get obsessed with the word ‘functiomaton’. Just like you all, I just walked through the hills looking for a place where I could stay. I do not have a legal permit for hunting around this area. I am breaking the law by my presence in this place.”

  Barón responded while still grabbing Nicholas shoulder, “We came here for similar reasons and we would like to find more people like you.”

  Nicholas nodded and said “There are more people living around here just like me. They have built their own places. On the other hand, they live inside little caves around the hills so that t
hey cannot be detected by G. eagles. I do not have to hide like them because this place is registered. Sometimes they come and stay here just like you; however, we agreed that it was better for us not to be concentrated in just one place.”

  Carl asked, “Who is the owner of this place?”

  Nicholas expression changed. He rolled his eyes, sighed once, glanced up the ceiling for 3 seconds, looked at Carl, and said, “He was a good friend of mine. He invited me to live here with him. Unfortunately, he passed away twelve years ago. The people living in the little caves also knew him. He helped us a lot.”

  “I am so sorry!” said Mary while grabbing his hand.

  There was no doubt in the teen-ager’s minds that Nicholas was being genuine. Furthermore, they figured that they could corroborate his story by meeting the people that were hiding around.

  Barón asked, “Can we meet with the people living around here?”

  “Of course! I will be glad to do so. They are old people like me. They will be glad to know that younger people are listening to their hearts again,” said Nicholas.

  Barón responded, “That sounds great. I will be glad to get to talk to them and you about future plans.” Barón was thinking that he was finally going to accomplish what he had set out to do: Find members for their functio-vandal guerilla. Although he had not discussed his functio-vandal agenda to Nicholas, he was thinking that it was going to be easy to have support from all the people that were hiding in that terrain. As he had conceived back in Truxes, he was thinking that he would be meeting elderly man and profiling them psychologically in order to better introduce his functio-vandal guerilla agenda.

  Feeling that a close friendship was beginning, Nicholas shared with the teen-agers many aspects of his life. He mentioned how he went to prison for stealing when he was younger. He talked about how he was married and his wife passed away due to the lack of medical care people did not have back then. He talked about his old job as a truck driver. He mentioned how all his close friends had passed away. He mentioned that he had food supply in the other room for several months. Nicholas, without thinking too much, felt that it was right to open up his life to them

  Then, the teen-agers talked about their lives in Truxes. They talked about food. They talked about the clothes they wore. They talked about air surfing. They talked about their functio- teachers. They mentioned their relationship with their parents. They spooked Nicholas with their Proud Zeros club. They talked about how students were losing their social skills. They talked about how little time they had to interact with other humans. From the point of view of the teen-agers, it was the birth of a friendship.

  Nicholas, as a more mature man, perceived lack of authenticity in the teen-agers. They seemed to be very passionate about their lives in Truxes. Although Nicholas believed that those teen-agers did not feel accepted by other teen-agers due to their non-libidinous identity and they were in favor of a more organic life, he intuitively had the sense that they loved were they had come from. For Nicholas, they spoke too passionately about every aspect of their life in order for them to leave it behind so suddenly. First, he realized that they seemed to love their families too much. They all seemed to have caring parents. Second, he noticed that their faces seemed to light up when they spoke about functiomatons no matter how derogatory they try to speak about them. In this way, he felt responsible for letting the teen-agers know his suspicions and became inquisitive about their motivation. He asked, “Do you miss your parents?”

  The question made them all pensive. They were silent for eleven seconds. No one wanted to respond the question. It was time for them to face their past by a defense mechanism other than suppression. Bravely, Mary said, “I… miss my family… they were nice to me. But, I our plans are greater than that.”

  Almost in unison, the boys responded “Yeah”.

  Nicholas decided to try another question, “Do you miss your computer?”

  Martin responded in an upset tone, “We already told you we are against functiomatons.”

  Nicholas felt that he had just hit the nail right on the head. He said in a very calm tone of voice, “I understand what you think. I do not understand what you feel.”

  Barón, being familiar with questions about feeling, decided to jump ahead and said, “Of course, we feel something towards the functiomatons in our lives. We grew up with them; but, we can change what we feel about them by changing our habits.”

  “Can you?” Asked Nicholas skeptical about it, “It seems to me that you already belong to that world.”

  Mary responded, “I hope no one feels betrayed…I missed my functiomaton.”

  All the teens were perplexed by Mary’s brave confession and looked at her with awe. They never imagined that someone in their group could say such a thing; however, she was honest.

  Martin was upset. He stepped away from the table, walked towards the kitchen, grabbed one of the cups on the counter, poured water in the cup, and drank from it while everyone followed his path with their eyes. Then, Martin put the cup down on the counter, and looked at the wall for 9 seconds.

  Then, Barón stood up and said to Martin, “It is OK Martin. We knew that we were going to miss everything.”

  Martin turned around to respond to Barón and said, “Yeah. I miss everything… even the functiomatons.” He was feeling ashamed to say those words; On the other hand, it was time talk about it. “I have been thinking about the air surfing shows occasionally, I admit it, but I interrupt those thoughts thinking about a higher humanity where we can live like a true brotherhood without the need for competition or to use specialized tools to control our environment.” Dragging his feet, Martin walked slowly from the kitchen to the table, pulled a chair, sat down and continued, “I know that eventually, after a few years, that world will be left behind.”

  Carl felt obligated to say something. He said, “I confess that I miss three things: My mom, my dad, and the functio-teachers.”

  Nicholas smirked and said, “Do not worry you are just kids. I am old man. You can change. I cannot.”

  After they all had the opportunity to unload their lives and their feelings about those lives, it became the time to go to sleep. They were all still sitting at the table when Nicholas dared to say, “Well…it is getting late and I am an old man. I am tired. You are welcome to sleep here.” As soon as he said that, he stood up slowly and walked directly towards his room without saying any word to them. He closed the door. It was time for the teen-agers to discuss alone their next move.

  ***