Crushed (Collided Book 2)

by Portia Moore

  “Mom!” Alyssa exclaims. She and John exchange a playful but understanding glance.

  Kate shrugs. “Like I said, we were young. Anyway, we were half in love before we ever thought to really talk about anything serious. I thought he worked there too—he was in normal clothes, all sweaty, when he came in for that drink. I had no idea his family belonged to it. Once I realized who he was, it was too late. And he didn’t care that I was broke, or that I worked there, or anything like that. And I didn’t care that he had money. I think maybe that was part of the attraction for him, because I just liked him for who he was.”

  “So what happened?” Alyssa frowns. “It sounds like you guys really loved each other.”

  I watch as Kate squeezes John’s hand and know that what her and Jackson had is nothing compared to what she has right now.

  “I loved Jackson but I wasn’t in love with him. At the time I though I was,” Kate confirms. “It was young…puppy love. Who knows if it would have lasted, if we’d stayed together. Maybe we would’ve grown old together, or maybe we would have divorced, or broken up. Besides, he definitely wasn’t ready to settle down. But we never got the chance to figure that out because his parents hated me. They thought I was a gold-digger, that I was trying to trap him. When I got pregnant—accidentally, might I add—it just confirmed that for them.”

  “How did Jackson feel about it?”

  “Terrified.” Kate laughs. “His parents did everything they could to get me to have an abortion. Offered to pay for the procedure, my first year of college, an apartment while I was at school, everything. I said no out of sheer stubbornness, because I hated how much they were trying to control me, and how hard they were trying to rip Jackson and I apart. In the end it wasn’t really them that broke us up, although Jackson has always said that. The ridiculous thing after pressuring me to get rid of Alex they suddenly wanted him to have their last name. I refused because the hell with them.” She laughs and I can see that Alyssa is more like her mom than I thought.

  “He was a good man, and still is. He supported me all through that pregnancy. He refused to let his parents bully me into having an abortion, told me to choose whatever was right for me. But he wasn’t ready to be a father. And I was so young—just trying to be a decent mother took all the effort I had. It consumed me, and we both knew that being together wasn’t the right thing for us. Not with how much his family hated me, and how cruel they would have been to us and Alex if we’d stayed together. So it was better to separate, and co-parent. And we did that well.”

  “And then you met Dad.” Alyssa grins.

  “I did.” Kate gives her husband a loving look. “I met John at college. I thought for sure that no guy would want to date me—being a single mother, all of that—but he didn’t care. He adored Alex, and he was a little older than me, so he had a good head on his shoulders. I fell in love with him slowly, but it was strong, and it lasted.” She laughs. “I was so broken up when Jackson and I split. I thought I’d never fall in love again. But I did, and it was so much better. So much stronger, and more real.” She looks pointedly at Alyssa. “Keep that in mind if some boy breaks your heart. It just means there’s a better one for you.”

  “Jackson is a good guy, and means well,” John adds. “We had our tense moments, when we were all younger and trying to co-parent together. I was jealous sometimes—after all, he’s always been rich, and sometimes all I could think was there’s this handsome guy, that Kate used to be madly in love with, and he could give her the world. But she didn’t want all that, she wanted me. In all the years since she and I got together, she never gave Jackson so much as another glance, except when it came to talking about Alex. And I honestly don’t know how he felt about it all—we weren’t exactly going to sit down with a beer and talk about her. But he never made a move or was inappropriate, once it was clear that Kate and I were serious. He was all about trying to be the best father he could, even if it could be a pain in the ass to raise Alex normally, and then have Jackson show up for a weekend and spoil the shit out of him.”

  “Yeah that he did,” Alex says, laughing. “But honestly, I always appreciated how grounded you kept me.”

  “You might now,” John retorts. “You certainly did not then.”

  The conversation shifts to a retelling of a time when Alex wanted a game system for Christmas but he had gotten a bad science grade, and how Jackson surprised him with not only a game system but 20 games for it even though Kate and John had asked him not to, and what a fight that was. It’s light and funny in the retelling, even though it probably wasn’t funny at all at the time, and I relax in the warmth of being with Alex’s family.

  Could things ever be that way, if I admitted to Alex what had happened with me and Jackson? Could Alex not be jealous of what Jackson and I had shared, and be secure that I was with him, and only wanted him? I don’t know, and I’m afraid to risk it, even though the truth is on the tip of my tongue, begging for me to be honest with Alex. John might have been able to be cordial with Jackson despite his past with Kate, but Jackson wasn’t John’s father.

  What an astronomical clusterfuck this all is.

  Kate yawns. “I think it’s time we turned in, guys. I have to be up early for work tomorrow, and so does John. You’re all staying the night, right? It’s so late to drive back into the city.”

  Alex nods. “We planned on it. I’m exhausted.”

  “Well, you can take one of the guest rooms and Alyssa and Madison can take the other.”

  Alex laughs. “Really, Mom? Separate beds?”

  “You’re not married yet,” Kate says firmly. “You know how I feel about that.”

  John rolls his eyes. “Oh, come on, hon. It’s not like we waited until marriage. They live together.”

  Kate shakes her head. “We should have! Besides, they can sleep apart for one night. It’ll be good for them.”

  I’m disappointed, but at least it’s just for one night. After the tension I was looking forward to snuggling in Alex’s arms, and I give him a lingering kiss just before I go into the bedroom, pressing my forehead against his.

  “See you in the morning,” I whisper.

  “See you soon.” He grins back at me, and gives me another long, sweet kiss. This one is broken by Alyssa muttering “Gross,” as she pushes past us to go inside.

  When we’re both in bed Alyssa’s nose-deep in her cellphone. I snuggle in, wanting to get much needed rest.

  “Hey Madison,” she says quietly. I sit up a little and look over at her.

  “Thanks for earlier. It meant a lot to me,” she says with a small smile that I return.

  “It’s fine. Trust me, you’re not the only one with parental issues,” I tell her before snuggling back in bed.

  As much as I thought I might toss and turn alone in a strange bed, I almost immediately fall asleep. It’s not until I feel a weight in the bed with me that I force my eyes open. I’m about to scream before a hand covers my mouth, and I wake up enough to see Alex next to me.

  “Alex!” I hiss in the darkness. “What are you doing?”

  “I missed you.” He grins down at me. There’s a dim light coming in through the blinds from the full moon and the yard lights, and I can just see the outline of his face and his smile.

  “Your mom is going to be so pissed if she finds out!”

  “She’s asleep.” His hand creeps up my thigh, underneath the long t-shirt I wore to bed.

  “Alyssa is in here!” I squeak.

  “She sleeps like a bear.” His lips are at my ear, nuzzling along the edge of it. “And she’ll stay that way if you’re really, really quiet…”

  I can’t believe he’s actually doing this. Their golden child Alex, in his childhood bed with his sister sleeping a few feet away. I press my lips tightly together to keep from making a noise as his fingers slide along the edge of my panties, and I can feel him against my hip, already hard and ready to go.

  “Are you some kind of exhibitionist?” I hiss
at him. “Did I not know this about you?”

  “No.” He kisses my neck, running the tip of his tongue along the length of it until I squirm, just as his hand finds its way into my panties. “But the idea that I wasn’t allowed to have you was a such a turn-on…”

  No kidding. He’s fucking hard as a rock, and I have to admit, the idea makes me wet. We’re adults, it’s not like we have to sneak around to have sex when we live together. It’s like being a teenager all over again, sneaking kisses and hand-jobs and eventually sex all while dodging watchful eyes.

  He kisses me deeply as he leans over me, nudging my thighs apart, and his tongue plunges into my mouth as two of his fingers slide into me, stroking me exactly the way he knows I like as his thumb plays with my clit. I can feel the orgasm building already—the secrecy and naughtiness of it sending me into overdrive, along with his skilled fingers. How the hell am I going to keep quiet? I squirm under his hand, praying the bed won’t start squeaking as I feel my legs starting to tremble.

  He keeps going, teasing me with that perfect rhythm until I feel every inch of my body tense up, waves of pleasure coming over me as he kisses me hard, the noises that I can’t help but make disappearing into the kiss. I shudder underneath him, my thighs spreading apart as I arch my hips upwards, wanting him inside of me. I’ve stopped caring about where we are. That first taste of pleasure just left me aching, needing more. Needing him.

  Alex is just as desperate. I can feel the length of him, naked and hot against the inside of my thigh, and he struggles to contain a groan as he pushes my panties aside and the tip of his cock presses between my thighs. I’m so wet that he slips inside of me immediately, and I feel his whole body stiffen.

  I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me, and he thrusts inside of me with one long, deep stroke. We both know we have to be quick—the longer we do this the more likely it is that we get caught, and the urgency of it is incredibly hot. I wrap my legs around his waist, meeting every thrust as he plunges into me, and I can feel myself hovering on the edge of an orgasm again.

  “Kiss me,” I whisper hoarsely, knowing that’s the only way I’m going to be able to keep quiet. I can feel his rhythm speeding up, and I know he’s on the edge too.

  “Come with me, then,” he groans, biting my earlobe gently as his hips rock against mine. He’s buried as deeply inside of me as he can get. I can feel him pressing against that spot, the one that always sends me hurtling over the edge into a climax, and I dig my fingernails into his shoulders.

  “I’m right there,” I whisper into his ear, as quietly as I can, and I feel him stiffen the moment before the orgasm hits me, his mouth covering mine in a deep, passionate kiss. The sensation of it all makes me dizzy, his tongue tangled with mine, the pressure of his lips, and the feeling of him pressed tightly against me, throbbing inside of me as he lets go.

  We lay in bed for a few minutes afterwards, and Alex kisses me softly as he sits up. “I should probably go back to my bed,” he whispers.

  “Now I know what you meant by ‘see you soon’.”

  He laughs. “I swear I wasn’t planning it.”

  “I bet.” I swat him lightly on the shoulder. “Go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  He pauses. “Did you have a good night, tonight?”

  “Other than the sex? Yeah, it was fun. You know I like your family.”

  “Good, because we have family dinner round two in a few days. Jackson and Cassandra invited us over.”

  Well, that’s killed the mood. My heart sinks. I had forgotten about it, as a matter of fact. The last thing I want to do is have another dinner with Alex’s dad—who I also fucked—and his wife, who he cheated on with me.

  But I know if I want to stay with Alex, I’m going to have to keep doing things like this. Jackson is always going to be a part of my life in some way. He’s Alex’s dad, and if Alex and I have children, he’ll be one of their grandfathers. I have to get used to it.

  But that doesn’t stop it from weighing on me long after Alex leaves. I’m grateful for the first few hours of sleep I had because I know I’m not going to get much more tonight.

  16

  My stomach is in knots the entire drive over to Jackson and Cassandra’s house. We’re meeting Tiffany and Philip there, and I’m looking forward to seeing Tiffany again, but spending hours with Jackson and his wife sounds like the fourth circle of hell. I tell myself over and over that I just have to get over it, but I still break out into a cold sweat every time I think of all the ways the conversation could go wrong.

  I’ve dressed up for the dinner, since Alex did, and I figure that side of his family is more formal than Kate and John are. He’s wearing dark jeans and a blue button-up that brings out his eyes, and I opt for a light chiffon wrap dress I bought recently, red with a handkerchief print. I curl my hair and add pearl earrings and sheer gloss, and the appreciative look that Alex gives me when I come out of the bedroom makes me glow.

  That glow turns to nervousness as soon as I get into the car.

  I’ve never been to Jackson’s home before and the thought makes me a little sick. We drive in through an iron gate and I see a large, well-manicured lawn and gorgeous landscaping surrounding a four-story stone house with a gabled roof, columned porch, and black shutters. It’s a rustic mansion, and I expect the inside of it to be cold and curated, all expensive art and mahogany furniture and antiques worth more than all the money I’ve made in my life so far.

  To my surprise, it’s not like that at all. As we walk into the living room, I see that it’s filled with plush, overstuffed furniture surrounding a massive stone fireplace, soft throw pillows, and knitted blankets everywhere. There’s a large golden retriever sleeping in one corner—who to my surprise barely stirs as we walk in, and everywhere I see photos of family—Cassandra and Jackson on their wedding day, Tiffany and Philip’s engagement photo, a picture of Cassandra and Jackson with a young Alex, another photo of a little Alex with Cassandra holding baby Tiffany. The carpet is a thick shag, there’s a large grand piano in one corner, and although everything in the house is undoubtedly expensive and absolutely luxurious, it doesn’t feel cold or forbidding at all. It feels warm and homey.

  Cassandra greets us at the door, wearing skinny jeans and a sleeveless silk blouse, her blonde hair tumbling loose around her face. I’m once again blown away by the idea that Jackson felt the need to stray. I can only pray to look like her in my forties.

  Jackson is right behind her, dressed similarly to Alex. He gives Alex a warm hug and immediately gives me one of the same; I try not to stiffen. It’s a glaring reminder that I’ve felt those arms around me before, and under circumstances that would piss off everyone else in this room.

  “Come in!” he says brightly, gesturing for us to follow him. “Alex, want to help me with the drinks? Tiffany and Philip should be here any minute.” There’s a little bit of forced enthusiasm in his tone, and I feel a bit of camaraderie with him—I feel a lot of forced enthusiasm right now. The amount of time between now and when we go home feels incredibly long.

  “Sure thing,” Alex chimes in, and I wish I could ask him not to leave me alone with Cassandra, but there’s no possible way for me to come up with a reason for that. Instead I watch forlornly as he walks off into the kitchen with his father.

  Fortunately, Tiffany and Philip show up before I have to make too much small talk with Cassandra. Tiffany gives me a huge hug and I return it, grateful for more people in the room. Alex and Jackson return with drinks—martinis for him and Cassandra, a whiskey and coke for Alex and Philip, a tequila and lemonade for me, and a margarita for Tiffany.

  “Dinner is almost done,” Cassandra says, motioning us towards the dining room. “Sit down. I’ll serve it up in just a few minutes.”

  “I’ve pestered her our entire marriage to let me hire a cook,” Jackson says, rolling his eyes. “We already have housekeepers. But she loves cooking, it’s a hobby of hers. She’s actually really good at
it,” he explains, and I guess it’s for my benefit since everyone else here probably already knows.

  I hear genuine admiration in his voice.

  “Unlike when you first got married,” Alex says, laughing. “I was like six, but I still remember the time she tried to roast a chicken.”

  “Well, everyone has to start somewhere. I remember the first drink you tried to make too, Son.” Jackson looks pointedly at him, and Tiffany and Philip both laugh. He glances at me. “You’re not allergic to seafood, are you Madison?”

  I fight to keep from turning red—out of embarrassment at the memory that brings up or hurt that he doesn’t remember—we ordered in at the hotel in Miami, a seafood tower on ice and top-shelf vodka martinis…the kind of food I never knew came with room service. We got drunk on the martinis and wound up in the rooftop hot tub naked, and then…

  I shake off the memory. “No, I’m not,” I say, looking away as I take a seat next to Alex.

  Once Cassandra starts bringing in the food, I see why Jackson asked. A delicately roasted, flaky fish with herbs is the main dish, along with shrimp scampi and scallops sautéed in butter, a green salad on the side, roasted asparagus, and wild rice. I’m so glad I didn’t eat much today. It’s a ton of food, but it all smells amazing.

  “This looks incredible, honey,” Jackson says, leaning over to give his wife a kiss on the cheek as he forks asparagus onto his plate and passes the bowl to Alex. I see her give him a long look, and he glances away after a moment. In that first brief exchange, I can see the same thing I saw at Tiffany’s engagement brunch—the lingering hints of a couple that once loved each other very much. I don’t know how he feels about her now—after all, last I knew he was still planning to divorce her. But I still can’t really understand why. Even if the passion has waned, there’s no animosity between them, no anger. I can only imagine how Cassandra would feel if she knew he’d been unfaithful—with me, and who knew if there were others. But for now, it’s clear that she still loves him. And it’s also clear that he did too, once, even if it’s muted to affection now.