Love or Lust 2

by Rachael Brownell

  Or anyone.

  My breathing hitched as the first tear fell. I didn’t realize I was getting emotional until it was too late to stop it from happening. Staring at the bathing suit in my hands, the one from the other day that caused Jace to drop the drink he was holding, I think back over the last few weeks. The good times I’ve had.

  The moments spent laughing.

  Making a fool of myself.

  The pull I felt for both Lennon and Jace.

  Making the choice.

  Mostly, I think about the friends I’ve made. Everyone else who came here. We all were chosen for the same reason but agreed with a different outcome in mind. Some of us had our sights set on the money, while others came here to find a connection. To find love.

  And then some came for a good time.

  There are some I know I’ll stay in touch with. Jace and Lennon, of course, but a few others as well.

  Then there are some I’ll never see or hear from again. Which is fine. Gage wasn’t my biggest fan, and I wasn’t his. Based on the last few days, I’m not sure I’d want to be friends with Courtney or Teegan after this. Their true colors are starting to show.

  We all put on an act the first few weeks. Didn’t let anyone get close to us. Kept our opinions to ourselves and played nice.

  The gloves have come off, and we’re all fighting for the chance to be here, to stay another week. To survive elimination tonight.

  Two of us won’t.

  My fear isn’t just for myself but also for the guys. I like all of them for different reasons. I don’t want to see any of them leave, but I know one of them has to. Just like one of the girls will have to.

  It could be me. Or Jace. Or Lennon.

  Hell, there’s no telling who it’s going to be until we get there and it’s announced. For all I know, our votes might mean shit. They could have already decided the outcome of the show before we even arrived.

  I wouldn’t be surprised.

  Ed seems like a sneaky bastard, and Claudia isn’t much better.

  My phone chimes, the sound muffled. I tossed it on the bed before I started pulling clothes out to pack. Searching the mess I’ve made, I finally locate it wrapped in a pair of underwear.

  JACE: Can’t wait to see which dress you wear tonight. Make sure to pick out comfy shoes. I have plans for us after.

  My fingers are poised to type a response, but I can’t bring myself to type the words I want to say.

  What if I’m going home?

  JACE: I can hear you freaking out from here. Take a deep breath and try to calm down. Everything is going to be just fine. You’re not going anywhere.

  JACE: And neither am I.

  He’s a goddamn mind reader. And apparently a fast texter because I hadn’t even finished reading his first text and the next one was waiting for me.

  ME: I’m okay. Just cleaning up a little.

  JACE: DO NOT PACK!

  ME: I said I was cleaning up, not packing.

  I eye my suitcase and its contents as I hit send, feeling guilty for not being one-hundred-percent honest with him. It’s not like I’m putting everything in there. Just the things I won’t need any time soon. Laundry service doesn’t pick up for a few more days.

  Yes, I can validate what I’m doing.

  Sort of.

  If he were to walk through my door, that’s what I would tell him. I’m just separating the clean from the dirty. Organizing.

  Letting out a sigh, I stare at my phone, waiting for a reply, but one doesn’t come. Gathering all the clothes on my bed in one sweeping motion, I drop them in my suitcase, zip it up, and put it back in the closet.

  Out of sight, out of mind.

  For now, anyway.

  Just as I’m closing the closet doors, my front door opens, and then Jace is standing behind me, arms crossed over his chest. There’s an accusatory look on his face, and I don’t bother to deny his accusation.

  “What’s going on here?” He takes a step toward me and places his hands on my hips.

  “Cleaning up.” I can’t bring myself to make eye contact, so I stare at his lips instead.

  They’re pressed together tightly. The normally pale pink darkening near the edges.

  “Presley,” he says in warning. “We’ve talked about this. I don’t care what those girls are trying to do. They can’t get you voted off just because they’re not getting the attention they want. It’s not how the game is played, so stop freaking out.”

  “But it is. That’s exactly how you play this game if you intend to win. You find ways to eliminate the competition. At all costs. If you don’t, you get eliminated, and I’m choosing not to fight with them. It’s not who I am. I don’t play dirty.”

  “You don’t get it, do you? Didn’t Lennon explain what was going on? He said he was going to when you had dinner the other night.”

  “He mentioned something about Courtney pulling you guys aside and talking to you, but he didn’t say about what, though I have a fairly good idea. He got a call from work he had to take, and our night was cut short.”

  “Yeah, he missed his dinner with Courtney last night. She threw a fit, but the producers shut her up by saying they could have the entire morning together today. So after getting in late last night, he had to get up early this morning, and they went out to brunch in the city. He was less than enthusiastic.”

  I let out a huff. Of course she would throw a fit. Anything to get her way.

  “It doesn’t even matter what she said to you guys. The fact of the matter is she and Teegan are on the same side and will do anything to get me out of their way. Teegan has her eyes set on you, and Courtney is after Lennon, I think.”

  “Wrong and wrong,” he says, pulling me onto the bed to sit next to him. “Teegan wants Lennon, and Courtney is into Milo. They’re pissed because they think you, Lennon, and I have an alliance so you can stay until the end. So we can be three of the final four.”

  “Well, it is what it is. I could tell them the truth, but they won’t believe me.”

  “Courtney is leading the charge. She was offering favors in exchange for the guys to vote you off.”

  “Favors?”

  “Yeah, of the sexual nature.”

  I couldn’t stop the laughter from bursting out of my chest. “She’s offering to suck you off if you vote me off!”

  “I was trying to put it mildly, but yeah.” He lets out a puff of laughter before continuing. “She was turned down. Four times. Though she never actually asked me. I didn’t let her get that far before dismissing her.”

  Jace gives me a pointed look, and when what he’s inferring hits me square in the face, I suck in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

  Courtney just managed to get herself voted out.

  Because she was being a conniving bitch. A whore. Teegan won’t be far behind her if she tries the same thing next week.

  “You don’t need to pack, Presley. Not this week and probably not until the show is over. They know you’re the favorite, of all of us. Even if the other guys aren’t in love with you, they see how real you are. That you care about them.”

  My heart feels lighter as Jace pulls me into his arms, wrapping them tightly around me. Making me wish there were no cameras around to capture our every move.

  “Stop thinking dirty thoughts,” he warns when my hand begins tracing circles on his bicep. “You’re gonna get yourself in trouble.”

  “Maybe I want to get in trouble. Maybe I like trouble.”

  “That’s what tonight is for. Like I said, make sure you have comfortable shoes. No breakneck heels. We’re gonna be walking in the grass, and if you wear heels, I’m going to have to carry you to make sure you don’t hurt yourself again.”

  “I was blindfolded!” I practically scream as the image of throwing up in the grass flashes through my mind.

  “It’s okay to admit you’re clumsy, Presley. I’ll still love you,” he replies, his lips slowly descending toward mine.

  “Where are
we going tonight?” I ask before he can steal my breath away.

  “To talk. Where no one will bother us.”

  “Alone. I like that idea.”

  “Well,” he says, hesitation in his voice. “We won’t exactly be alone. There will be a cameraman with us, but it was the best I could do. No other contestants will be around, at least, and I’ll be able to tell you what I’ve been trying to for days now.”

  “I’ll take what I can get. Any time alone with you is better than none. Even if we won’t truly be alone. I’ve gotten pretty good at forgetting there’s a camera in my face.”

  Jace laughs, agreeing with my sentiment as he pushes me back against the mattress, his body covering mine as he finally captures my lips. This kiss is different. It’s sweet and sensual, but there’s a hint of promise in it that warms my heart. I feel the emotion deep in my soul.

  “Make it quick,” Claudia quips as she hands me my voting sheet on the way in.

  I didn’t wait for the other girls. Not tonight. I know we made a pact, but I feel like Courtney and Teegan broke it when they started going behind my back in an attempt to get me eliminated.

  Once I have my slip filled out and handed back in, I spot the other girls making their way through the doors. The guys are right behind them. Jace’s gaze frantically searches the room until it lands on me. He releases the breath he was holding as he tosses me a warm smile and takes his slip from Claudia.

  We take our places on the platform, and Ed begins going through all the same motions he does every week. He kicks the show off, attempts to make a few funny comments, and shows clips of the last week we’ve spent together. It’s not until Jace grabs my hand, giving it a tight squeeze, that I focus on the large screen.

  It’s a clip of Jace and I sneaking off on the horse. And another of me sneaking back in my window. More of us in bed, snuggling.

  The highlight reel is all us. Together. In the pool. The hot tub. My bed. Our dinner date.

  Every stolen kiss.

  Every heated moment.

  I can feel the heat in my cheeks by the time the show cuts to commercial. No one says anything. They don’t have to. Their glares are telling me everything I need to know.

  They. Know. Everything.

  The producers. The cameramen. Teegan and Courtney. Claudia. Ed.

  Everyone.

  The only people not staring in my direction are the guys. They’re chatting amongst themselves as if they hadn’t just watched Jace and me asleep, half naked.

  “Just breathe. It’s going to be fine.”

  “How can you even say that? This is what I was trying to avoid. I don’t want the entire world to think I’m a slut because I fell in love with you.”

  Courtney lets out a huff next to me, and when I glance in her direction, I’m rewarded with an eye roll.

  “What the fuck is your problem!” I scream.

  “Ladies!” Ed yells.

  “You are my problem,” Courtney growls, her voice low as she steps closer to me, getting in my face.

  “I’ve done nothing but be nice to you. I’m sorry you can’t have who you want. It’s not my fault, and you need to direct your misguided anger elsewhere.”

  “Ladies,” Ed says again, but I continue to ignore him. Just like I’m ignoring Jace tugging on my hand. And the other hand that falls on my shoulder.

  I don’t care who it belongs to. I’ve been holding this in, trying to be the bigger person, and I’m done.

  “You think you’re so much better than the rest of us, don’t you? Well, Presley, I have news for you. Neither of them really wants you. It’s all a game to them. They’re here for the money. Not love. Not even lust. So get over yourself.”

  “Ladies!”

  “What!” we scream in unison, turning our attention back to Ed, who looks like he’s ready to murder us.

  “We’re on live TV. Get it together.”

  Shit!

  If I thought the inference that I was having sex broadcast on TV was bad, I was wrong. My outburst was worse.

  Without another word, we both step back into our places. Ed apologizes to the audience (aka the camera) and continues, reading the teleprompter. We’re each handed our envelopes, and the girls are asked to step forward first.

  “This week you cooked dinner for the guys. Some of you did better than others, but in the end, there was a clear winner chosen to have immunity this week by the gentlemen standing behind you. That person is . . .”

  Pause for dramatic effect.

  Really? Come on, Ed. Let’s get this over with.

  “Presley. Congratulations. You can step back on the platform. You’ll be staying here at least another week.”

  It takes me a second to realize he’s called my name, and even then, I walk back to my place in front of Jace on heavy legs. He whispers his congratulations in my ear as the other girls are asked to open their envelopes. I watch in fascination as Courtney tears up, Teegan pulling her into her arms for a hug.

  The guys are asked to step forward as soon as Courtney is escorted away. My nerves are at an all-time high as each of them opens their envelopes. I love them all dearly, but there is only one man who I know I don’t want to be here without.

  And thankfully, I won’t have to. Not this week anyway. Unfortunately, Drake wasn’t so lucky.

  Ed excuses him and sends us to commercial break. As soon as the light turns red, Ed faces the remaining six of us, hands on his hips, anger radiating off his body.

  “Live television. Do you have any idea what that means? There’s no editing. No way to cut out your little screaming match with Courtney.” His glare has fallen to me, and if it were possible, I would take a step back right now. “Do not make me regret not kicking both of you off the show the second you started fighting.”

  I nod once, and then he’s turning back around. The light above the camera turns green, and happy-go-lucky Ed is putting on a show for the audience. He gets them ready for the next week, explaining what we’ll be doing, and signs off as he usually does.

  “Will it be love or lust?”

  How fucking predictable.

  “Come on. Let’s go send Drake off with respect, and then I want you all to myself.”

  I nod once as Jace takes my hand in his, and we wait outside the doors to say goodbye to Drake. When he finally arrives, he drops his bags and immediately pulls me in for a hug. His only words are to thank me, but he doesn’t say for what. He doesn’t need to. I can see the light in his eyes for the first time since meeting him.

  He’s letting go of the blame he’s held on to and is ready to move on.

  I’m sad to see him go but happy for him at the same time. I’m biting my lip to keep from frowning, at least until Courtney walks up, hatred in her eyes as she storms inside the main house without so much as a goodbye to anyone.

  “Ready for an adventure?” Jace whispers in my ear as he wraps his arms protectively around me.

  “Not really,” I state, knowing my truth will hurt his feelings. “All I want is to crawl in bed right now.”

  “Want company?”

  “I think I’d like that.”

  In fact, I don’t think I want to spend another night here without Jace’s arms wrapped around me. The world already thinks what they think. They can go to hell. I’m not going to let Courtney’s opinion or anyone else’s stop me from going after what I want.

  And I want Jace.

  * * *

  Find out how it all ends…

  About the Author

  Rachael Brownell is an award-winning author of young-adult and new-adult romance. She resides in the midwest with her husband and son. To learn more about Rachael and her books, follow her on social media, join her reader group on Facebook, Brownell’s Book Lovers, or sign up for her monthly newsletter.

  For more information…

  www.AuthorRachaelBrownell.com

  rachael@authorrachaelbrownell.com

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