Blind Date

by Debbie Ioanna

  Whilst I was wide awake and struggling to sleep, I read over my messages from Zack to make sure it wasn’t a drunken dream. The messages were definitely real. Reading them made the butterflies in my belly dance like they’d had too many tequilas.

  ‘Maybe I could take you out sometime.’ Those would be my new favourite words. I could hear his voice saying them to me. ‘Maybe I could take you out sometime.’ I just need to wait for him to message me today like he said, so we can arrange our date. Our first date. My first date with Zack. I’m going on a date with Zack! Eek!

  But, what if he was only texting me because he was drunk? What if he forgets and never messages me? What if he never messaged me after all and it was one of his friends who got hold of his phone? Those thoughts were spinning around in my head until I finally fell asleep.

  When I woke up, the sun was glaring through the window. The curtains hadn’t closed properly as the window had been opened to let some air in, so the room was really bright but it was finally cool. I looked around and Dan was still asleep. It must be really early. I checked my phone and it was just after eight o’clock.

  I pulled back the sheet and carefully got out of bed, careful not to disturb the mattress too much. The noise from the fans hid the sound of the creaky floorboards as I walked out to the landing and into the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror, I saw the results of what happens when you mix the humidity and naturally curly hair: a frizzy mess. I didn’t have my hairbrush with me so searched through Dan’s bathroom for some form of hair taming device. Of course, there wasn’t anything in there. I would need to do the walk of shame looking like the mad scientist.

  An unplanned sleepover meant I didn’t have my toothbrush either, however I did find some mouthwash during my search for a hairbrush which would have to do for now. I could have headed straight downstairs from there for a cuppa tea but I had left my phone by the bed, dammit!

  I quietly walked back into the bedroom, carefully stepping past the fan and leaning across to pick up my phone. My foot, however, decided to get trapped in a wire and pulled the fan off the table. It crashed down on to the hard wood floor, breaking open so the propellers were exposed. Dan jumped and sat bolt upright in bed.

  “Sorry!” I cringed. “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

  “What happened?” His eyes were wide open with the shock of the noise.

  “My foot got caught in the wire,” I looked down at the broken fan, “I really have broken it now.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” he got out of bed and walked around to me in my shame, “it’s fine, don’t worry. They were only cheap ones from Argos about ten years ago.” He stopped in his tracks and looked at my hair, looking concerned. “Oh, are you ok? Did you electrocute yourself?” He smirked.

  “Sod off.” I pushed him away as he chuckled at his own hilarity. “Do you have a brush or something?”

  “I don’t even think a sweeping brush will sort that out. Let me check, there might be something in the other room.”

  He then did something. Something even stranger than the handholding. Something I would have bet my life on never happening with Dan. He put his arm around me, pulling me close to him and he kissed me on the head. What is going on with him? It must be the heat. It’s getting to him. His brain has melted into some kind of mush and he is confused. He has forgotten who I am and why we get together when we do.

  “I’ll be right back.” He said as he walked out of the room, leaving me dumbfounded on the spot. Why has he suddenly started with these gestures? He’s being too boyfriendy. I’ve never imagined Dan being the romantic type, and certainly not with me.

  I grabbed my phone to check for any messages before Dan returned. There was nothing from Zack yet, but it was far too early. He could have been in Cookies until the early hours.

  “I don’t have a brush,” Dan called from the other room, “but I do have this…”

  I walked out to the landing where I met Dan holding a very mangled comb.

  “Why on earth do you have a comb?” Combs belong to old men, I don’t think I’ve ever used one in my life.

  “I think it’s one of those they used to give you at school photo day, so God knows how old it is. But it’ll do, won’t it?”

  “Erm, well, it might succeed in making me bald but I’ll give it a try.” I took hold of the comb and watched the dust fly off it.

  “You might want to run it under the tap…I’ll go get the kettle on.”

  “Good idea.”

  “Are you hungry? Do you want the usual?”

  “Yea, why not?” I smiled. “I’ll be down once I’ve tackled this.” I pointed to my head.

  “Ok, there’s no rush. I’ll see you when you’re ready.”

  Twenty minutes later, I had managed to regain some of the control of my locks and felt brave enough to make my way downstairs. I was still only wearing Dan’s t-shirt so my legs were on show. I’m glad they were freshly waxed.

  Dan was in the kitchen wearing only his boxers, mixing eggs in a bowl. The sun was beaming through the window behind him. I’m pretty sure his teenage neighbour had her eyes on him from her bedroom window opposite.

  I stepped towards him when my phone buzzed. It was a message from Zack.

  “Good morning, hope this doesn’t wake you but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Are you still up for going out some time? x”

  Oh my god. I had to turn my back to Dan, so he couldn’t see my Cheshire cat grin. I’m so glad Zack didn’t opt for the ‘three-day rule’. I don’t think I would have coped waiting that long to hear from him. I had to think carefully about my reply.

  “Hello you, I was awake :) Yes, I’m still up for that. Just let me know when’s good for you X”

  He replied immediately.

  “I’m not sure I can wait until next weekend, are you free one night this week? x”

  “I’m off work all week and no plans made yet, so anytime is good for me X”

  I could see that he was typing his response. I was giddy with anticipation.

  “How’s Wednesday for you? Have you been to Ricci’s Place? x”

  “I love that place! Let me know what time and I’ll be there :) X”

  “I’ll call them today and let you know, can’t wait x”

  I couldn’t think of anywhere more perfect for a first date. Ricci’s has the best food. I’d have to avoid my usual steak though, I can’t be having meat stuck in my teeth again. Unless I take some floss to use before we leave. But then what if he kisses me and can taste the mint from the floss? I won’t have steak. Or meat. Or anything that can get stuck in my teeth. I’ll check the menu and pre-order in my mind in preparation.

  “Do you want eggy bread?” Dan’s question brought me back down to earth. “Why are you hugging your phone?” he asked as I turned around.

  I looked down and I was in fact hugging my phone. Clearly my subconscious thought my phone was Zack and placed it conveniently between my breasts for a boob hug.

  “Oh, nothing, erm, eggy bread sounds good.”

  I walked into the kitchen and decided to help out. On the counter behind him were two cups which I presumed were put there for our drinks. I switched on the kettle and decided to get them made as Dan was busy making the food. Well, I thought he was busy. Suddenly, I could feel one hand as on my waist as he nuzzled his nose on my neck. He slowly kissed my neck, using his other hand to navigate its way to my front and up my t-shirt to fondle the ladies. Usually, this would have been welcomed with open legs. This morning, however, I only had one thing on my mind. And it wasn’t the thing poking into my back. It seemed to have recovered well from last night’s disaster.

  “What are you doing?” I tried to sound playful.

  “What do you think?”

  He tried to pull my t-shirt up, but I had to stop him.

  “No, not now.”

  He spun me around and with his hands on my hips, he pulled me in to kiss him but I pulled back.

  “What’s the matter?”


  “Nothing, I’m just not in the mood now.”

  “I can get you in the mood.” He said, confidently.

  He lifted my arms and put them around his neck, his hands working their way down my body. I felt so guilty, but it didn’t feel right anymore to have sex with him. How can I stop it though without offending him? His ego is surely bruised from last night already without me turning him down now.

  “Look, we can’t. The window’s open. Someone will see or hear.”

  This seemed to work. He pulled back and looked at the window, spying his teenage neighbour watching us from her room.

  “You’re right, we can go back upstairs. Sod breakfast. We can save it until lunch.”

  “Erm, no, it’s still too warm don’t you think? And, I have to be honest, that waterbed is bloody awful.”

  “Ha-ha! It’s going to take some practise. But we can work on it. We’ve got all day.”

  “Actually, I can’t stay. I have some things I need to…”

  “Jenny, what’s going on?” He stepped back but kept hold of my hands. “You’re never this distant with me. Are you ok?”

  “I’m fine.” That was probably higher pitched than it needed to be.

  “You can tell me, I’ll understand. Was last night that awful? Have I put you off?”

  “No, I’m sorry, it’s nothing to do with last night.” I walked to the dining table and sat down. “I have a thing on Wednesday, it’s just been arranged this morning. It’s a date, but one that I’m actually looking forward to. So, doing this now seems weird.”

  “Ah, a date.” He came and sat next to me. “Not a blind date, then? Someone you actually like?”

  “Yes, quite a lot.”

  “Is this the office guy you mentioned a while back?”

  “It is, he saw me out last night but I didn’t see him, but he messaged me late last night. And he wants to take me out.”

  Dan smiled.

  “That’s great. I’m happy for you. I hope it works out.”

  “Thank you, I hope so too.”

  “Do you still want breakfast?”

  “Do you even have to ask?”

  He laughed and returned to mixing his eggs in the kitchen as my phone started buzzing. It was a withheld number calling me. Who needs to ring me this early on a Sunday morning?

  “Hello?”

  “Hello, can I speak to Jennifer please?”

  “Speaking.” I spoke in a monotone voice, expecting it to be a nuisance call about the ‘accident’ I had been in whilst making a PPI claim.

  “Jennifer, this is Gale from Moorside Vets in Huddersfield. We’ve had a cat brought to us and when checked for a microchip it’s come up with your details. Are you missing a cat?”

  “I am! Bing!” I stood up in a panic and tears came from nowhere, filling my eyes. “Is he ok? Is he alive?”

  I soon discovered that I had feelings for the arsehole cat after all. I couldn’t hold back tears as I had visions of Bing being hit and killed by a car, mauled by a dog, attacked by viscous youths with crossbows. Dan was suddenly in front of me, anxiously waiting for news.

  “He’s fine. Absolutely fine. How long has he been missing?”

  “Oh, weeks? A couple of months? I’m not sure now, it’s been ages. Is he really ok? Can I come get him?”

  “Well, he is alive and he is ok. We had him in the van and that’s when I checked for a microchip. However, when we tried to carry him into the cage, he bit my colleague who dropped him and he ran back out the door.” The stupid cat. “I chased after him, but I lost him up one of the side streets. I am so, so sorry.” She sounded like she was going to cry too. “But when I saw your address I saw how far away you are and figured you’d want to know where he was in case you wanted to come and look for him.”

  “I don’t know Huddersfield at all, I’d be getting lost myself.” I shook my head at Dan who was quietly asking if I wanted him to take me there now. “Was he thin and hungry? What was he like?”

  “There were no obvious signs of malnourishment or cuts from being in fights. He looked perfectly healthy. I’ll be back out this afternoon to try and find him but I had to call you first.”

  “Thank you, I really appreciate you calling me. I hope I hear from you again very soon.”

  “So do I Jennifer.”

  We ended the call and I relayed the information to Dan.

  “Well at least you know he’s ok. It sounds like he’s been looking after himself. But how the hell did he get to Huddersfield from your house? It’s about twenty miles away!”

  “I’ve no idea, he probably manipulated a bus driver to take him. That cat has skills.”

  “Well, it’s still early. Let’s have a quick breakfast, then I’ll take you home to get changed and we can drive over to try and find him. I won’t take no for an answer.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely. Come on, let’s get dressed and then we’re ready to go once we’ve eaten.”

  27

  We drove around the streets near the vets in Huddersfield for a couple of hours with the help of Google Maps but to no avail. Bing had made his escape and was out on his own again. At least I knew he was alive after all this time. Dan drove me home in a painfully awkward silence.

  “Thank you for taking me to look for Bing, I really appreciate it.” We had finally pulled up outside my house.

  “It’s no problem.” He kept one hand on the steering wheel and the other on his lap, not looking at me.

  “Ok, well, thank you again and I’ll see you soon.” I reached to open the door.

  “I’m happy you’ve finally got the date you wanted, no more awkward blind dates.” He said suddenly. “I think my timing was a little off, or too late really.”

  I put my hand on his and he finally looked me in the eye.

  “I’m sorry. I really am. As soon as I got his messages last night I just…”

  “It’s fine, you don’t need to explain. I remember you telling me ages ago how much you liked him. To be honest, I should have been more honest about my feelings for you. I’ve just never been a relationship kind of guy, or at least I never thought I was.”

  “Well, if you want some advice, never let a friend set you up on a blind date. You’ll live to regret it.”

  That made him laugh, finally. I hated seeing him so gloomy.

  “Well, who knows? We might see each other again.” He looked at me and smiled. It was a sad smile.

  I leaned over and gave him a kiss. A goodbye kiss.

  “Another bit of advice, buy a normal bed. No girl will hang around for seasick sex.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with that mattress! I’m telling you, it will be amazing.”

  “From a woman’s point of view, it really won’t.” With one final kiss on his cheek and I opened my door. “You take care.”

  “You too, Jenny.”

  Walking into my house, I had a little spring in my step. I was suddenly feeling very good about myself. Men are like buses, you spend ages waiting for one and then all of a sudden, two turn up wanting to take you out.

  I saw Bing’s food and water bowls on the kitchen floor. They were now caked in dust, so I picked them up and put them in the dishwasher in case he did end up coming home soon.

  I decided that Sarah would need to be updated with today’s events so pulled my phone out of my pocket, but instead was treated to a text from Zack.

  “Ricci’s booked for 7.30 weds eve, I’ll come pick you up if you like. Text me your address x”

  Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. It’s really happening. This is what I have been working towards with my year of bad blind dates. From questionable Italian food with Gerard, disappointing sex with James, fearing for my life with Rob and an over obsessive old school friend, it was now my turn for some good luck. I already know that I like Zack, I already know I will love the food, what could go wrong?

  Conversation.

  What if we have nothing to talk about? What if he t
urns out to be really boring? What if he has some strange habits or collects weird objects? Like me with the gingerbread man he bought for me which has been wrapped in cling film and kept in my bedside table all this time. Maybe I won’t mention that to him.

  I replied with my address and told him I was really looking forward to our date and then phoned Sarah to fill her in. She could not believe Dan’s behaviour but was excited that my date was finalised with Zack, however, she didn’t seem her usual giddy self.

  “Is everything ok?” I asked. “You seem a bit off.”

  “I’m fine, I’m just tired. Had a bit of a migraine that’s all. Could be a hangover from last night mixed with the heat. So, what else are you up to this week.?”

  “Not much, I might go shopping tomorrow for something to wear Wednesday night and wait for another phone call from the vets to tell me they’ve recaptured Bing. Otherwise, I’m going to chill and take it easy I think.”

  “That sounds good. Have you got an outfit for Wednesday night?”

  She wasn’t paying attention. Something wasn’t right.

  “No, I just said I’m going to go shopping tomorrow to get an outfit, are you sure you’re ok?”

  “Yea, sorry, it’s this migraine. I’m going to have to go, I think I need to sleep. Send me photos of your outfit won’t you?”

  “Course I will, I just hope I find something. Text me if you need me for anything.”

  “I will do, speak to you later.”

  “Bye.”

  I don’t know what was wrong with her, but it was not a migraine.

  I hung around my kitchen and wondered what I could have for tea. I do miss my Chinese takeaways, but all that oil and grease will leave me crippled with a tummy ache. My body can’t handle it anymore. I tried a takeaway pizza a couple of weeks ago and Imodium was needed at three in the morning. I’ll have to play it safe and have a tuna toastie.