Circle of Elements: Water and Wind Collide

by Mandy Adler

  Thinking this, my was voice sharp as I said, “I’m fine, I just...” What? What could I say that wouldn’t make me look crazy or pathetic?

  “I know. I heard about your mom, I'm really sorry. Mine died when I was born, I know it’s not the same… but I'm still sorry.” He replied softly. He wasn’t looking at me but off to the side, as if lost in thought.

  “Please don’t tell anyone about this… please. I just want to have a normal first day at school tomorrow, I don’t need everyone looking at me like I’m a freak.” I said to the ground. They would find out eventually, but I would rather wait as long as I could.

  He pulled me to look at him, tilting my chin up with his finger. “It doesn’t make you weak just because you're grieving. I’ll see you tomorrow. Senior, right?” I nodded. I loved learning, another thing that made me an oddity. “So am I, so we are bound to see each other again tomorrow.” He then got up and walked back to the club. Before he disappeared inside, he turned and called back. “Keep your head up. I have a feeling things are going to change soon.” He shot me a smile and walked through the door.

  I just sat there. What was that? I’ve never felt so calm around anyone since the fire. I spent a week in the hospital because of shock, and no meds they gave helped.

  While I was stood there stewing in my own head, dad walked out, “Lil, are you okay? What are you doing? Were you talking to Zach?” Dad asked me, sounding oddly panicked. Chill pill dad, take a chill pill.

  “Yes, He was nice. He just introduced himself and said he’ll see me at school.” I left out the part of the panic attack. No need to worry the man that his daughter was afraid of the world, even though I wasn’t really in it. I just stood outside and had to watch it burn while firefighters scrambled about, trying clear the flames. Listening to my mother’s screams was pure torture.

  Dinner was good, even though we didn’t talk much. I figured he was gearing up to talk about whatever he had to tell me at home.

  “I don’t think you should hang out with Zach, he’s trouble.” I just stared at dad. Where did that come from? That is the last thing I thought he would say.

  “He seemed nice enough,” I said not knowing what else to say. What is dad’s deal? Since when did he have an opinion on who my friends were?

  Suddenly, I heard a beeping sound. “Crap, it’s the hospital. I need to run in. But I should be back by the time you go to bed, then we need to talk.”

  “Okay. Is everything alright?” I asked my frazzled looking dad.

  “Yes, just the duties of a doctor. If I don’t get home in time to talk to you, the keys to the neon are on the hanging by the door. You can take it to school tomorrow. But come straight home afterward, and we’ll talk.”

  “Okay.” I wasn’t sure what else to say, this was a bizarre night.

  We pulled in the drive and dad dropped me off at front of the house. I stood on the porch and waved as he drove away. I turned around and walked into the house, my house… I guess. I grabbed my bag and walked up the stairs to get a look at the room I haven’t seen in six years. I opened the door and stopped, my eyes watering. Dad had been shopping. There was a twin bed with new black and silver bed-set on it, a black fuzzy rug in the center on the hardwood floor, and a new desk with a laptop in the corner of the room. He wanted me to feel at home. I should try harder, he wants me to be happy here… so bad. I am going to try my best and look to the positive, a new beginning.

  I put my bag down on the bed, unzipped it, and started unpacking. I pulled out the little bit of clothes I had and hung them up. I pulled the picture, still in its frame, from my bag and set it on the bedside table. It was of my mother and me at the beach. Both of us were smiling, arms around each other. My eyes start to water as I remembered the fun we had that day, with no worries. That’s how she was, always living without restrictions. She had always said you should live every moment for yourself, and not let anyone ever control you. She said you never knew when things would change, and you could no longer be in control of yourself anymore. I never understood that. How can you not be in control of yourself? I laid down on the bed and pulled the iPod from my bag, and turned it on as loud as it would go… and let my thoughts wander. I didn’t plan to fall asleep, but I had to tune the thoughts in my head out somehow. So, I just lay there listening to the music, just staring at the ceiling fan going around.

  Chapter 3

  I woke up to the alarm on the side-table going off. I tried to reach over and smack it but got tangled in the headphones of my iPod instead. I finally got myself untangled, and turned the alarm off. Five-Thirty, ugh. Dad must not have gotten back till late last night. Guess I won’t know the secrets he was keeping until later. I headed downstairs and looked out the front window. Huh, dad’s Jeep still isn’t back yet, he must have had to pull an all-nighter. I headed back upstairs to take a shower. Might as well start getting ready for school. I am not going to worry about what dad needs to tell me until I was forced to.

  I decided to leave my hair down, first impressions and all that. Mom had always said my hair looked better down. I dressed in my jeans and a t-shirt with a gray pull over sweater. I’ve never been much for fashion. I pulled on my sneakers, I don’t have my schedule yet and don’t know if I have gym. I headed down stairs and pulled a bowl out of the cabinet and looked for some cereal. Ah Ha. Dad went grocery shopping. I pulled out the fruit loops and sat down to eat breakfast.

  …And started to worry. What was school going to be like? Will the kids be friendly? Will I get to see Zach again? No, no. No boys. What am I thinking? He probably thought I was pathetic. I will not start my first day at a new school worrying about boys. Besides, remember, new Lily, no more shyness and I'm going to learn to not be as responsible. One thing at a time, no reason worrying about stuff I can’t control. So, with that, I stood. I carried my bowl to the sink, grabbed my bag and keys, and headed out.

  There was a note left on the passenger seat of the car. I grabbed it, unfolding the paper so I could read it. Dad must have dropped it off sometime last night.

  Lil, I had to pull an all-nighter. I’ll talk to

  you after school, have a great day and be careful.

  -Dad

  The drive to school was quick, and I didn’t have any trouble finding it. It’s a small town so most of the roads get you where to need to go eventually. I pulled into the lot and parked in the first place I saw. I grabbed my bag and hopped out of the neon and headed towards the sign that said ‘Office’. I got here early so there were not a lot of kids around yet, but the early-birds like me were… staring. Great… this is going to be a blast. The new kid at a small school is something to really talk about.

  I opened the door to the office an older lady with a sweet smile saw me. “You must be Lillian Heart.”

  “Yes, ma’am. My dad said he already enrolled me, but I needed to come get my schedule.” I told her. He had wanted me to wait until next week, but I had already missed enough school. And sitting at home was pure torture, better to stay busy.

  “Yes, I have it right here.” She said as she handed me the slip of paper.

  “Give me a second and I’ll have someone show you to your first class.” She pressed a button and spoke into it clearly. A girl with blonde hair, blue eyes, and dressed in jeans and a shirt, that I thought would be against any dress code, walked in.

  “Hi. I'm Sue, the student body president. I’ll walk you to your first class.” I smiled at her and told her thanks. As we walked out I realized it was all an act. She opened her mouth and I instantly disliked her. “Okay. Here’s the run-down. I control this school, so I can tell you what’s what. I am also the head cheerleader. And if you want to live out this school year in peace, you better stay on my good side.” Wow. I'm not an aggressive person, so what am I supposed to say to that? I had visions dancing in my head of her leading an army of bumble bees, all lined up and not really knowing what they were supposed to be doing. They probably went around stinging innocent people in the butt
. Queen bees… every school had them.

  “Um, okay. Sure. See you later.” I said then ducked into my first class of the day. Well, she was… something.

  Math. Okay, I can do that. Learning is something I know. I handed my slip to the teacher and Mr. Kane sent me to an open desk by the window. I went and sat down, trying to not look at all the kids staring at me. I had never been comfortable with the attention you get from being the new kid, or any attention really. Someone sat behind me, I know this because I heard the seat scrape across the floor. It was a nerving sound. Being I was still staring at my notebook trying not to be noticed, I didn’t look see who it was.

  “Told you I would see you here.” Said a familiar voice from behind me. I looked back, Zach is sitting behind me, smiling. He looked pleased enough to see me.

  “Yeah, I guess you did,” I replied softly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. Willing myself not to blush, I turned back around as the bell rang for class to start.

  I could feel him behind me the whole time. The calming effect he seems to put off, and something…else. I’m sure I was fidgeting the whole time.

  Class went by smoothly enough and when the bell rang to release us I gathered my stuff up to get ready for my next class.

  “Hey, I'm Abby. You must be Lillian.” Said a girl that stood in front of me as I stood up.

  I glanced behind me at Zach, he was waiting to pass, but still smiling kindly. I needed out of this classroom before I made a fool of myself. We moved aside to let Zach pass.

  “Lily. It’s nice to meet you.” I replied. Great. Let’s hope this one is nicer. Queen bee was sure to have a swarm of followers.

  “What’s your next class?” She asked as we started walking out. She seemed to be trying to strike up a conversation.

  “Umm, Chem, I think.” See? I can be normal. I looked at my schedule to confirm. Yep, Chemistry is was.

  “Oh. Well, I have that class next to. I’ll walk with you.” She seemed friendly enough. We started walking down the hall and I stopped at my locker to put my bag and math book in. She waited beside me, chatting about something. I couldn’t really focus on her words.

  “Hey, I’ll be taking you to the club after school,” Zach said as I jumped from being startled. I didn’t hear him approach. I may or may not have let out a small squeak. I heard him laugh softly. Abby just watched silently with greedy eyes.

  “Oh. Thanks, but my dad wanted me to come home after school. He said he had something important to talk to me about.” I told him shyly. Darn it I thought I was the new Lily, no shyness. Oh well, baby steps I guess. At least I wasn’t blushing yet.

  “He had the chance.” What an odd thing to say. “I have to bring you in, it’ll all be explained then. I promise.” He told me as Abby stood there with her mouth open, staring like it was the oddest thing she had ever seen. I looked at her questionably and she shrugged.

  “Okay, I guess,” I told him. He nodded once before asking me to wait for him after school. He smiled at Abby and me before moving on.

  “What is Zach doing talking to you? And why are you already invited in the club? You just got here!” Abby announced as we started off towards Chem class. She was bouncing with excitement.

  “Beats me. Everyone here is just bonkers.” I told her, thinking of the unusual behavior most everyone has shown since I arrived here. I don’t know how my dad would react to a kid telling him; ‘he had the chance’. Whatever that meant.

  “What?! Zach doesn’t just talk to anyone. They stick to the ‘in’ group. You must have made an impression on him.” Abby informed me while sitting next to me in Chem class. “Well, you got anywhere to sit for lunch? No? Then you’ll sit with me.” She grinned widely, not even considering I’d turn her down. I wouldn’t have anyway. Where else was I going to sit? The library? Hmm, there was an idea…

  “That would be great Abby. Thanks.” I already liked this girl. She had the boldness I wanted. Plus, I wouldn’t have to eat in the library today, save that for an emergency. I turned to face the front of the room, waiting for the teacher to pass out the equipment we were using for today. Oh. Oh no. They’re passing out burners for an experiment. What if I have another attack? I can’t do this in school. Oh, god!

  “Lily, are you okay?” Abby asked, touching my arm. “You're burning up.”

  “Yyyeah, I’m okay,” I told her. My breath coming out in heavy puffs. And I was already sweating and nothing had even happened yet. I was in trouble.

  The teacher had started to explain what we were supposed to be doing, but all I could hear was the pounding in my head. My breaths were becoming heavier. And my heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to burst right out of my chest. Then, Abby lit our burner.

  The next thing I knew the teacher was looking at me with a lot of concern. Oh, god how did I end up under the desk? I couldn’t see straight. All I could see was that fire. Oh god, mom!

  “Lillian? Lillian, are you alright?” The teacher, Mr. Brans was trying to get me off the floor. But his face was a blurry vision. My face felt wet… I had started crying without even knowing it. I could hear a small whimpering sound. It took me a minute to realize it was coming from me.

  “Maybe you should slap her.” I faintly heard someone ask. Nice. I heard other voices chiming in, but couldn’t decipher the voices.

  Oh, god I can’t do this here. “I…I have to go.”

  I shot up from the floor, ran out the door, and found the nearest bathroom. I opened a stall and sat on the filthy floor. No one followed me. Oh, god. I really did that in front of the whole class, on my first day. I can never come out of this bathroom now, or ever. I doubt my new-found friend would want to talk to me again after this. Who would want to be seen with the freak that hides from fire under a table? So, I just sat there trying to pull myself together.

  About the Author

  Mandy could live anywhere, but will always be a Texan by heart. She is a wife to a wonderful husband and mom to three mischievous boys. She worships books, drinks too much Dr. Pepper, and would eat fajitas every day. Her family puts up with the day and night writing when she gets into a kick (even when she is lost in the clouds, and they call her name five times), and she loves them all the more for it. She has had stories in her head since she was a kid, and used to fail classes because she would write, lost in her own head, rather than do homework.

  She loves spending time outdoors with her family, eating her husband's burgers. She spends her time reading or putting to life the characters taking life in her mind.