No Limits

by Nicki Bennett

  Kit wanted to nod and say everything was all right and they could put this behind them, but he knew it would be a lie. “Then why do I feel like such a failure right now?”

  “You are not a failure,” Devon insisted. He was prepared to repeat that to Kit as often and as emphatically as he needed to until Kit believed it. “Can you tell me what was different between what you expected from the scene and what happened?” He didn’t want to diminish Kit’s concern with a facile dismissal, but he needed to understand what was driving Kit’s emotions before he could try to deal with them.

  “The headmaster never used the cane on me at school,” Kit admitted, “but my classmates never acted like it was any big deal. I didn’t expect it to hurt so much more than the spanking. I wanted to take it because you wanted me to, but it hurt so much I couldn’t even stand.”

  “I didn’t want to cane you, Kit,” Devon reminded him gently. “The scene was your idea, remember? I know you don’t get the same high from working through pain as Jon or I do, but if I’d stopped when I could see it was getting to be too much for you, I’d be doing just what you called us on before—going into ‘protect Kit’ mode.” He ran his hand over Kit’s jaw, his thumb caressing his cheek. “You recognized when you’d hit your limit, and you admitted it. That’s exactly what you wanted to prove to us—that you can make your own decisions. Looking at it in that light, I’d say the scene was a success.”

  “Then why don’t I feel that way?” Kit asked, though his voice had lost a little of its desperation.

  Devon shook his head. “That’s something you’ll need to come to terms with yourself, though if anyone failed here, it was me.” He ran his thumb over Kit’s lips when Kit started to protest. “No, it’s true. A Dom is supposed to know his sub’s limits, sometimes better than the sub does himself. At a gut level, I knew it was too big a step to go from spanking to caning, but you were so determined we’d been coddling you that I didn’t challenge you on it. I set you up to fail.”

  Kit bit back a sob. “Sometimes I don’t know why you put up with me and my headstrong ways, but I’m glad you do. I’m glad you both do. Maybe someday I’ll get it right.”

  “Ah, sunshine, I could say the same about you and Jon putting up with me.” Devon brushed the moistness from Kit’s lashes with a tender kiss. “Tonight isn’t the time, but maybe you’d trust me enough to give us both another chance to set things right.”

  Kit nodded. “After my arse has a chance to heal.”

  Jonathan had remained silent while Kit and Devon talked, but now that Kit had recovered some of his composure, Jonathan ran a hand down Kit’s hip, careful to avoid his sensitive backside. He didn’t understand how Kit could possibly think he was a better sub than Kit was, and it made him feel guilty somehow, though he didn’t know what he could do to make it better. Devon seemed to have reached Kit on an emotional level, though, so Jonathan decided it was time to reassure Kit on a purely physical level.

  “Speaking from experience with a sore ass, it’ll feel better in a day or two,” Jonathan said softly, his lips nuzzling Kit’s ear. “Rest for now and let us take care of you.”

  At Kit’s nod, Devon dropped another gentle kiss on Kit’s lips, then slid down on the mattress, placing kisses down the long throat, the smooth chest, the flat planes of Kit’s abdomen as he went. Jonathan’s hands slid around Kit’s chest, caressing the warm skin, teasing gently at the tightening nipples, gliding lower to brush through Devon’s hair before sliding upward again. Devon dipped his tongue into Kit’s navel, causing a shiver of delight, then wove through the thin line of hair that led to Kit’s cock, which was already stiffening at the sensual attentions. He closed his mouth around the head, swirling his tongue lightly as the shaft swelled and grew. Kit might not have gotten the pleasure he’d hoped from their session, but Devon was going to be sure he received it in full measure now.

  If Kit’s lingering doubts made him slower than usual to harden, even his worries could not defeat the seductive lure of Devon’s mouth or the decadent thrill of Jonathan’s hands. He thrust forward, only to hiss as his abused buttocks protested the movement. Devon caught his hips immediately in a firm grip, refusing to let him move, leaving Kit to simply lie there and enjoy the sensation. Slowly giving in to the convincing reassurance, Kit closed his eyes and drifted on the pleasure his lovers were bestowing on him. It wound higher and higher, spiraling through him until his body could no longer contain the bliss of knowing himself cherished by these two men. With a long sigh, he found his release down Devon’s throat.

  Jonathan watched in envy as Devon swallowed through Kit’s trembling climax, then shifted upward to share a long, slow kiss. His own cock throbbed with need, and he could see Devon was in no better shape, but he knew neither of them would do anything about it at the moment. This had been for Kit, about easing his pain and showing him how much he was loved. Devon’s hand met Jonathan’s over Kit’s chest and squeezed in silent concurrence. Spooning as best he could around Kit without pressing against his striped backside, Jonathan squeezed Devon’s hand back and curled his other around Kit’s hip, letting his eyes drift closed. They’d all be better for a short rest.

  Chapter 18: Favorite Things

  DEVON SMOOTHED a hand over his leathers as he considered the contents of his toy box. Kit had agreed to give Devon another chance to stretch his limits without forcing him past them. Devon knew Kit didn’t see it that way; Kit thought Devon was giving him another chance to prove himself. In the end, Devon realized, it all came down to trust—Devon trusting Kit to find his limits without crossing them, and Kit trusting that Devon might by now know more about Kit than Kit did about himself in some respects. Knowing how much Kit approved whenever he wore the butter-soft black trousers, Devon wasn’t above using every advantage he could to make sure this time it turned out right. He didn’t usually plan a scene much in advance, preferring the freedom to adapt the play to the reactions of his sub, but after he’d bolloxed up Kit’s last session so badly, he wasn’t about to take any chances this time.

  Since the fiasco of their last session was due to his failure to stop Kit from insisting on more than he was ready to handle, Devon was going to start tonight with all the things Kit had found especially pleasurable in their previous scenes. Devon removed anything from the box that he hadn’t already used on Kit, not wanting to introduce more than one new element—a riding crop in place of the cane—to this evening. Looking over what that left in the box brought a smile to Devon’s face as he remembered the sessions when they’d used the plug, the nipple clamps, the soft suede restraints. The blindfolds and gags went into the pile of items he’d discarded—Kit needed to be able to see what Devon was doing and voice his concerns, if any, though Devon was going to do his damnedest to be sure he didn’t give Kit cause to protest this time.

  He was still a little concerned about the role Jonathan would play during the session. Devon’s first impulse had been to ask Jonathan to stay away so Devon could focus all his attention on Kit. Jonathan hadn’t been willing to accept that at all.

  “Don’t ask me not to be there, Devon,” Jonathan had pleaded. “I’ll sit in a corner and not say a word if that’s what you want, but don’t shut me out. It was hard enough knowing I couldn’t do anything to help when you and Kit were trapped by the mudslides. If I’m not there, I’ll make myself crazy imagining what’s going on. I promise I won’t interfere with whatever you’re doing, but I can’t not be there.”

  Devon could understand that, but he could also imagine how hard it would be for Jonathan to be present but excluded from participating in the session. Still, this wasn’t just about him and Kit. All three of them were in this relationship, and Jonathan needed to be a part of Kit’s coming to terms with his own limits as much as Devon did.

  “It’s not that I don’t trust you—you know that, don’t you?” Jonathan radiated such sincerity and confidence that Devon had no doubts on that score. “Kit was just so shaken after he used his safew
ord, so sure he’d failed.”

  Jonathan shook his head; from his perspective, Kit didn’t have a damn thing to prove, but he was enough of a rider to know that when you were thrown, you got right back on the horse. “I want him to know I’m there for him.”

  In the end, Devon agreed Jonathan needed to be present, though he was still debating how much of a part to let him take in the scene. Kit’s perception that he wasn’t the sub Jonathan was still concerned Devon. He couldn’t risk turning the session into any kind of comparison between the two.

  The last item he set atop the toy box was the riding crop. He’d never used it with Kit or Jonathan before. While it resembled the cane that had been Kit’s undoing in their last scene, the crop was easier to control and could be far less painful. It would still make a nice audible whistle through the air, but the contact came from the leather flap at the tip, spreading the force of the blow across a wider area than the narrow, whippy rattan cane. His plan was to rebuild Kit’s confidence using items he already associated with pleasure before asking him to accept the crop. Devon remembered how hard Kit had gotten off from being spanked. While the crop could deliver a more intense sensation than Devon’s hand alone, he didn’t think it was more than Kit could take.

  He only hoped he was right. He didn’t want to think about what would happen if he judged wrong again.

  “YOU’RE SURE Devon didn’t say anything to you about what he had planned tonight?” Kit already knew the answer. He and Jonathan had been over this twenty times if they’d been over it once, but the suspense of spending a day off knowing that when he and Jonathan went to Devon’s house that night, Devon would be taking charge and trying to restore the balance they’d lost when Kit foolishly demanded more than he could handle had Kit on the edge of his seat. He almost wished Devon had decided to have this session at the end of a workday, so Kit would have had the distraction of being Percival to keep him from obsessing about tonight.

  “He didn’t tell me anything except to make me promise to do whatever he told me and stay quiet the rest of the time,” Jonathan answered. He hesitated, wondering if it would do more harm than good to bring up the subject that had been gnawing at him ever since the night Kit had used his safeword. It was obvious Kit was on edge about what would happen tonight, and Jonathan didn’t want to do anything to make that worse, but he’d promised on the night Kit had walked in on Devon fisting him that he wouldn’t keep things hidden from Kit either. “You don’t really think you’re not as good a sub as I am, do you?” he finally asked in an uneasy voice.

  “You’re ten times the sub I am,” Kit said with a short laugh. “I can’t keep my mouth shut to save my life. I can’t relax into Devon’s control the way you do. I’m always pushing for more. Topping from the bottom, I think he called it once. You don’t do that. You don’t fight his control the way I can’t seem to stop myself from doing.”

  “That’s because I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing,” Jonathan protested. “You and Devon are both so much more experienced than I am. Half the time I don’t know what to expect, let alone what to ask for. The rest of the time I’m coming so hard I can’t think straight.”

  Kit snorted. “Damn good thing, since there isn’t much straight about anything we’ve done together since the night we seduced you.” Sobering a little, he sat down on the couch next to Jonathan. “You might not have much experience with gay sex, but it isn’t about the sex. What we’re doing with Devon as our Dom isn’t a gay thing or a straight thing. I don’t have any more experience with that than you do, and you’ve adapted to it far better than I have. I have yet to relax into a session unless I’m the one in charge or unless Devon has trussed me up so tight I can’t do anything but take what he wants and come like mad.”

  “Maybe that’s why it’s easier for me to relax,” Jonathan answered. “Most of the time, outside of this, I’m the one expected to take charge. I can let go of that and trust Devon or you to take control during a scene because I know you’ll take care of me. I don’t think I could let myself put that much trust in anyone but the two of you.”

  “I’m making mountains out of molehills, aren’t I?” Kit asked. “I mean, if we aren’t doing anything particularly kinky, if we’re just making love, everything’s fine, regardless of who suggests what or what position we end up in. I need to just relax and treat the kinkier stuff the same way I treat the regular stuff.” He sighed and snuggled beneath Jonathan’s arm. “I wish we could go back to the beach house. Everything seemed so simple then.”

  Jonathan didn’t contradict Kit, despite remembering his own crisis of jealousy that weekend when Devon had claimed Kit over the porch rail. “No matter where we are, I think you can trust Devon, and I hope you can trust me.” Jonathan lowered his face into Kit’s dark hair and kissed the top of his head. “You know we’d never do anything to consciously hurt you, and we’re trying our best not to make you feel like we’re overprotecting you. Don’t build this up in your mind into some kind of test that you have to pass or fail. It’s just going to be Devon and me, loving you. That’s all it ever is, or none of this would mean anything and there wouldn’t be a reason for any of it.”

  Kit smiled, enormously reassured by Jonathan’s words. “As long as you both still love me, everything else is secondary. What time do we need to leave to join Devon?”

  Jonathan glanced at his watch. “We should get going. We could explain to Devon if we were late, but I’d rather not start the session on that note.” He rose to his feet, keeping his arm around Kit and drawing him up with him. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s almost as jumpy as you are.”

  “Not possible,” Kit said, standing. “Is there anything we need to do before we leave?”

  “Not unless there’s anything you want to bring with you to Devon’s.” Jonathan’s smile didn’t hide the hunger underneath it. “I’m hoping none of us will be leaving until we have to report back to the set on Monday morning.”

  DEVON PACED the floor, catching himself when he started to glance at his watch for the third time in five minutes. Realizing he was working himself into a state that would hardly be conducive to overseeing a scene, especially one as important as this, he halted in the middle of the room. Taking a deep breath, he focused on his anxiety, breathing smoothly and deeply until the knot of tension began to unravel and his innate self-confidence returned to the fore. You can do this, he told himself. This is Kit, not a stranger. You know what gives him pleasure, and you know how far you can take him to make it that much better. He wouldn’t be alone either. Jonathan would be there too, grounding them both with his quiet strength and unquestioning love.

  The sound of a car door closing broke him out of his reverie. After a final glance around the room to be sure everything was ready, he walked out of the bedroom to open the door for his lovers.

  Kit was surprised when Devon met them at the door rather than letting them use their keys to come inside, but it reassured him in a way as well. Maybe Devon was as nervous about this as he was. As counterintuitive as that seemed, it helped settle his nerves to the point that he could walk into Devon’s embrace, seeking shelter and safety. Devon’s arms closed around him immediately. Kit inhaled deeply, smelling musk and man and the amazing, earthy smell of Devon’s leathers. “I love you.”

  “And I love you, sunshine.” Kit had never deserved the nickname more, Devon thought, just his smile and the surety of his love enough to banish the last dark tendrils of doubt from Devon’s mind. He looked up and held out a hand to Jonathan, drawing him into the circle of their embrace. “And you no less.”

  Jonathan wove an arm around Kit’s waist, the other around Devon’s shoulders. How far they’d come—how far he’d come—from that moment at the beach cottage when he thought Devon’s claim on Kit was excluding him. He had no doubts now; his lovers had shown him time and again that their hearts—all three of their hearts—had room for more than one love.

  Kit turned his head to kiss Jonathan, not wantin
g him to feel excluded. He knew the focus of the next hour would be primarily on him, and he didn’t want that to make Jonathan question his place in their lives again. “Love you,” he murmured with a quick nip to the lush lower lip before turning his gaze back to Devon. When emerald eyes met his, he lowered his lashes, consciously trying to put himself in a place of submission. “What do you want me to do, Sir?”

  “Into the bedroom with you,” Devon said, easing his embrace so Kit could slip free. “Strip and put on your cock ring. There’s one on the bed if you don’t have yours with you.”

  “I brought mine, Sir. I wanted to be prepared for whatever you wanted.” He glanced up from beneath his lashes, hoping the initiative would please his Dom.

  “Good lad.” Devon smiled and sent Kit on his way with a pat to his delectable arse, then turned to Jonathan. “I’d like you to be there for Kit,” he said, then kissed him in this moment before he settled fully into his Dom role. Still wary of Kit’s perception that Jonathan was a better sub than he was, Devon had decided not to ask Jonathan to take a more active role, not wanting Kit to feel he was treating either of them any differently than a normal session. “Don’t speak unless I ask you a question, and I’ll expect you to follow my instructions just like any other scene, but stay in his line of vision, even if you’re not a part of what’s happening at the time. Just seeing you will help keep him centered and remind him of how strong he is.”

  “How strong we are together,” Jonathan replied, pulling Devon into his arms. “You’re as much a part of that strength as I am, and you’ll give Kit just what he needs. Love you—Sir.” With a final smile over his shoulder, Jonathan followed Kit into the bedroom, slipping buttons free as he went.