Saif's Story

by Barbara G. Tarn

  Still, he never allowed any of the apprentices inside his bed, no matter how much their eyes pleaded with him. He didn't think he should involve himself with an apprentice. And he had a lot of free time to wander the city anyway, even when not on missions. Sometimes he went back to the slums only to see if anyone might need his help.

  Not his family. He had been estranged from them for years. But there were other people who had been kind to him when he was still a street boy, so he liked to go back, with or without Nimdja. At times it was refreshing to be called Rohit again by oblivious people who'd known him in his previous life.

  And people noticed him in the streets as well. Mostly women, but also men called him handsome. He sometimes agreed to spend a few pleasurable hours with some man, but his heart wasn't in it. It was just sex, one night stands that were quickly forgotten.

  He had changed, was still changing, and not only because now he wore decent clothes and had a real roof over his head. He wondered often what else life would offer him and when he'd meet that person who would make his heart beat faster and put butterflies in his belly again.

  Still, a year flew by and soon Talwar had to leave with his apprentices for the time in the wild. He told Nimdja and Saif to take care of business, although Khanda would be in charge while he was away.

  Lalima of course stayed at the school with Khanda and Katana, but suddenly the building felt very empty. There wasn't much left to do, especially for Saif who wasn't interested in women like his childhood friend.

  He eagerly accepted a mission out of town only to keep himself busy – and away from Lalima – and kept wandering in search of temporary lovers, but he was getting impatient, feeling aimless and estranged from the world at large. He was independent and had a roof over his head, but somehow that wasn't enough anymore.

  8.

  Madhuri had been invited to the palace so that Karan could be close to his younger cousin Chandra. Nadira had always wanted her brother's beloved close, and as soon as her mother was out of the way and she was back in the royal apartment with her Genn husband and daughter, she had called her friend and invited her to stay at the palace with her.

  The midwife, Suneeri, had moved out of the condominium with her husband and daughter, but Ramya being the same age as Karan, she often visited him at the palace. Usually she passed by the school and called Lalima who never forgot to summon Saif and Nimdja to escort them to the palace.

  Saif humored her and the midwife's daughter because he liked the royal palace. Since the Genn had made most of it public, he had discovered a wealth of things that pleased his eyes, from the carefully kept gardens to the stately corridors with paintings and tapestries and statues of absolute beauty.

  He especially liked a fountain with statues of half-naked young men playfully seated around it as if they were real people. Although the statues were bigger than real-life and all white, one of them felt particularly life-like and attractive in Saif's eyes. He'd sit on the stone thigh under the spring sun and imagine the young man came to life and started loving him.

  And then Lalima would come and try to do the same with him, under Nimdja, Ramya, Karan and Deepika's amused eyes. The flowers were blossoming around them and the rebirth of nature seemed to have awakened romantic sentiments among the youths as well.

  Saif could see that fourteen-year-old Ramya had an obvious crush on Karan, who didn't look as bored as he was. The young prince was quite humble and since he'd grown up with Ramya, he didn't mind the fact that she wanted to take their relationship to the next level. Saif doubted Princess Nadira would forbid him to marry a commoner.

  And then one day as the guests reached the garden in full bloom, they found Karan and sixteen-year-old Deepika with another young man gingerly seated in the lap of Saif's favorite statue. He looked older and had the blue eyes of the royal family, with dark-blond straight hair like Princess Nadira.

  Saif frowned at the sight of him, but then had to admit the young man also had a dazzling smile. His clean-shaven face had a pointed chin and the eyes seemed to sparkle, but not focus on anything. He turned his head towards them, but didn't stare at anyone in particular.

  "This is my cousin Prem, he's about your age, Rohit and Aditya," Karan said proudly.

  "I can tell he's from the royal family," Nimdja joked. "He has a lot of your aunt about him."

  "I'm the son of King Naveen's brother," Prem said cheerfully.

  "How come you were never in the line of succession?" Lalima asked, puzzled.

  Saif had never heard of another male prince, and wondered about that himself. Surely he could have taken King Naveen's place? And what had happened to his father, the king's brother?

  "My father died in a hunting accident when I was a child," Prem answered. "And I got my name from the king who married a blind princess who clearly passed me her gift."

  "You're blind?" Saif blurted out, incredulous. He couldn't believe those beautiful blue eyes couldn't see.

  "Which spared me being involved in politics and took me out of the line of succession," Prem answered with a smile. "But I've lived at the court forever and I was trying to pass on what I learned to my little cousin when you arrived."

  "Why, is Karan a possible future king?" Nimdja asked, puzzled.

  "I don't want to be king." Karan shrugged, pulling Ramya closer. "But at least Prem knows this huge palace better than I do."

  "And he can't see." Deepika giggled. "Which is kind of funny, isn't it? He's been guiding us through the floors explaining everything as if he knew exactly what everything looked like!"

  "I've had things described to me by my mother and a couple of faithful servants." Prem shrugged. "Of course my favorite artworks are statues, since I can touch and explore them better than paintings and tapestries." His hands caressed the statue he was sitting on as if it were a lover.

  Saif gulped. The prince's touch looked very sensual on a statue, imagine on skin...

  Saif averted his eyes, blushing furiously. What was he thinking!

  But then his eyes were drawn back to Prem's face and couldn't let go. He was mostly quiet all afternoon, watching, observing the blind prince who ignored his limitation and called it a gift. Saif was in awe.

  When seven-year-old Chandra burst into the garden and rushed to Prem, Saif observed the interaction between the blind prince and the little girl, amazed. Nimdja elbowed him.

  "You're in love," he whispered, amused.

  Saif glared at his best friend. "No, I'm not!" he whispered back. "I only admire him very much."

  "Sure." Nimdja shook his head. "Lalima, it's time we got back to the school," he said loudly. "Let's go, Ramya, we will come back some other day."

  "It was a pleasure meeting you," Prem said, still holding Chandra in his arms. "Looking forward to talking to you again soon. And hope to hear more of Rohit's voice next time!"

  Saif blushed again at Prem's grin. "I will, your highness," he said, glad the prince couldn't see his embarrassment.

  "No highnesses here," Prem replied. "It's just Prem and Karan and Chandra. See you soon."

  Saif nodded and bowed even though Prem couldn't see him. His voice refused to come out as he headed out of the garden and through the palace's lower floor to the streets of Godwalkar.

  ***

  It became a pleasure going to the palace, knowing Prem would be there. Saif kept observing the prince without talking much, because in spite of his words, Prem looked much more a nobleman than Karan ever did.

  Saif had seen Karan be born and grow up, but Prem was more in the league of Lord Arfan, even though he was his own age. Therefore Saif didn't know how to address him or how to deal with him.

  Prem was royalty and he came from the slums after all. He might have cleaned up his act by finding a job, but he still was just a commoner. Which reminded him of how he'd seen Talwar when he'd first arrived in Godwalkar five years earlier – and made him understand that Nimdja was right.

  He was in love. Again. With someone who probab
ly would never return his feelings.

  When he realized this – after meeting Prem four times in the company of the others – he decided he should stop visiting immediately. Before it became an obsession like the one for Talwar. But his resolution lasted one day, and then he went back to the palace, alone and defeated.

  He didn't go to the royal apartments, but headed for the garden instead. The cherry blossom season was almost over and petals covered the gravel paths and lawns of the garden with white confetti, while the roses were still in bloom. The white marble of the fountain emerged from the green bushes and cherry trees, and Saif noticed Prem was seated there, alone, in the lap of his favorite statue.

  Saif stopped and then moved to the lawn to approach the handsome prince stealthily. He stopped at the edge of the lawn, not daring to step onto the gravel surrounding the fountain, and watched the dreamy expression on the prince's face.

  He wondered if he should dare step forward and talk to Prem. He looked around, but there wasn't anyone in the garden or at the upper floor windows that opened onto it. It was very quiet at that time of the day – the palace was probably napping after lunch – and maybe the prince had gone to take a breath of fresh air and didn't want to be disturbed.

  It wasn't a good time for a visit either. Saif cursed himself. He should have stayed at the Guild's building a little longer. But then, if he'd come around tea time, probably Lalima would have insisted on coming with him.

  Prem sighed and turned his head towards him.

  "Hello, Rohit," he said with a smile. "What are you doing standing there?"

  The blue eyes weren't focused on him, but Prem had somehow felt him.

  "I... uh, I didn't want to disturb you..."

  "You don't. Come forward and sit with me."

  Prem sounded impatient, and Saif obeyed.

  "How did you know I was there?" he dared to ask.

  Prem smiled and leaned forward. "I smelled you," he whispered with an impish smile.

  Of course. Saif hadn't considered the direction of the breeze, too taken by what his eyes were seeing. He cleared his throat, feeling stupid.

  "I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be stealthy, but I still need to work on that," he muttered.

  Prem chuckled. "So it is true? You're an assassin, trained by Talwar?" he asked.

  "Yes, but I've never dealt with a blind person before."

  "I can tell I confuse you. I'm just another Human, like you."

  "You have royal blood."

  "Which means nothing, like the Genn say. They lost their kingdoms centuries ago and ever since they stopped having classes and divisions and nobility and all that crap we don't seem to be able to do without. Whatever runs in my veins is exactly the same as yours, Rohit. By the way, what is your assassin's name?"

  "I'm not supposed to say it outside of the Guild..."

  "Why not? Talwar doesn't hide it, and neither does Khanda."

  "They come from Agharek. They never told us their real names." He sighed. "They named me Saif the Sword."

  "I'm sure you are a very good sword," Prem said with a smile. "I wanted to learn, but I was never allowed. Nobody ever gave me a chance..." Melancholy suffused his face now.

  "You want to learn to use a sword?" Saif asked, puzzled.

  "Yes. Will you teach me?"

  "But you can't see!"

  "So? Find two straight branches and bring them here, please."

  Saif hesitated, then obeyed. He found two stakes in a gardener's shed and went back to the fountain, handing one to Prem. The prince rose and balanced the stake in his hands.

  "I'm ready," he said, moving away from the fountain.

  "What do you want me to do?" Saif asked.

  "Attack me. It's wood, it won't kill me."

  Prem waited, holding the stake with both hands. Saif stepped forward and tried to hit the prince's shoulder, but Prem raised his stake and blocked the blow.

  "How did you do that?" Saif asked, amazed.

  "I heard your footsteps on the gravel and the sound of the staff in the air," Prem answered, grinning from ear to ear. "Let's try again."

  They spent a few moments in mock attacks and defenses. Saif was really impressed by how precise Prem's hits could be.

  "Please, let's rest," he said at last.

  Prem relaxed and gave him back the stake. Both sat side by side on the edge of the fountain and Saif put the stakes at his feet.

  "Will you teach me more?" Prem asked, hopeful.

  "I'm not sure I should," Saif answered, wondering if it could be a good thing to teach the prince some self-defense.

  "Please..." Prem squeezed his arm with a pleading look on his face. His touch sent a shiver down Saif's spine.

  The prince was so close, he could smell sweat and musk and perfumed soap on the pale skin. Saif looked at the clean-shaven face, fixed blue eyes, dark blond hair, and then averted his eyes with his heart in his throat.

  "Rohit?" Prem asked, squeezing his arm again. "Saif? Will you teach me?"

  "I... I can't," he stammered.

  "Why?" Prem asked, disappointed, letting him go. "It's because I'm blind?"

  "It's because I want you too much and I can't take this anymore," he grumbled, rising.

  Prem grabbed his wrist and forced him to sit back down.

  "Is that why you didn't come the other day?" he asked impatiently. "Your friend Aditya mentioned you might be interested in me in ways I might not like. Except he didn't know what I may or may not like, so... what do you have in mind?"

  Saif closed his mouth and frowned. So Nimdja had told the prince of his crush. But Prem didn't seem shocked, or repelled. Maybe this was his only chance to win Prem's heart.

  "I have been attracted to men for a very long time," he said at last. "You may have noticed that Lalima keeps bugging me, but I don't let her any closer, unlike your cousin with Ramya. That's because I see her as a sister."

  Prem smiled. "But you can't see me as a brother and want more, is that correct?"

  "Yes. I've had lovers, but they didn't last. I have loved men, but they didn't return my feelings."

  "Talwar." Prem nodded knowingly.

  "Aditya talks too much," Saif muttered, making Prem chuckle.

  "Actually, Karan told me that. He said the way you look at Talwar... is pretty much how you look at me. Those are Karan's words, not Aditya's."

  "Oh." Saif was shocked to learn even fifteen-year-old Karan could read him like a book.

  Prem took his hand in his and his expression softened.

  "Don't worry, it's fine with me," he said. "I haven't had much experience, but I'm willing to learn anything you want to teach me."

  "Anything?" Saif asked, uncertain.

  "Anything." Prem nodded, determined. "Be it weapons or sex. I'm game."

  Bursting with gratitude, Saif freed his hand and took Prem's head in his hands to kiss him hungrily. It didn't take long for the prince to return the kiss with the same passion. Saif's heart started to sing.

  9.

  It was the best time of his life. Prem and Karan started coming to the school for private fencing lessons. They weren't officially enrolled in the school program and he wouldn't teach them the assassins' weapons – brass wheels, daggers and of course the noose – but he could teach them some sword-fighting.

  Neither prince had had the princely education he deserved, and even though Saif didn't think he was a swordmaster yet, he could start teaching some moves to the two young men while they waited for Talwar to come back and teach them more.

  Ramya and Deepika often watched the lessons in the courtyard of the school, and then Karan sat with them while Prem followed Saif to his room where they had moments of quiet passion. Prem's hearing and sense of smell compensated his lack of sight, and often when the cousins playfully dueled, the elder won.

  Saif loved him more and more every day, especially when they were alone and cuddled each other. He started calling him dilbar, a word he had heard from Talwar and Khanda, which made Prem c
huckle and explain to him that it was an old form of "sweetheart". Saif apologized for his ignorance and Prem promised to retell him those old epics where the word had originated in a more contemporary language.

  One day he asked him why his parents hadn't asked the Genn to cure his eyes.

  "I guess they never thought about it," Prem answered with a shrug.

  "And don't you wish to see?" Saif insisted, holding him tighter.

  They were naked and wrapped in bed sheets. Karan had gone back to the palace with Deepika and Prem was going to spend the night at the school. Yafita had been warned that there would be an extra mouth to feed when the sun went down.

  "You don't miss what you don't know," Prem replied. "I think I know you quite well by now, I don't need to actually see you. I know what you smell like and what you sound like and what you feel like when I touch you or when you touch me, and it's more than I ever had before."

  "But..."

  "Becoming sighted would require me learning to do everything all over again and would make me feel awkward! Just think about it! What if you lost your sight today? How would you feel? It's the opposite for me. I'm fine, dilbar, stop worrying!"

  "Still, sometimes I wish you could look me in the eyes," Saif said. "Why don't we ask Goldenstar to heal you?"

  "I am not sick!" Prem snapped, pulling away from him. "If you can't accept the fact that my eyes don't see you, we may as well stop seeing each other right now!"

  "No, no, all right, as you wish!" Saif panicked. He couldn't bear the thought of not seeing him again. "Come here!" He held him tight again, caressing his blond hair and naked back. "I love you, Prem, I can't live without you."

  "Even if I can't see you?" Prem pinched his waist playfully.

  "Ouch. Yes, even if you can't see me. I can see you, and that's enough."

  Prem chuckled and squeezed him. "Then I'm yours, dilbar. Thank you for teaching me sword-fighting... and everything else!"

  ***

  Time flies when one is happy. Almost two years flew by and Talwar came back to town with his students. Saif informed him that he had taken the liberty to train Prince Prem and Prince Karan in self-defense and Talwar looked amused by it.