Fallen Ambitions

by Guy S. Stanton III

  Chapter Six

  Street Rage

  Five Months Later

  I sat stiffly on the uncomfortable excuse of a chair. I’d already been here for an hour. Surely she couldn’t be much longer, but I knew differently.

  Miserably, I kept my frustrations to myself, shielded behind my usual cold reserve, which did wonders at stifling attempts by others to engage me in idle conversation. Today was not that day however.

  An older woman just across from me had done her best to engage me in conversation time and time again. I disliked her immensely for it and even despite my best scowl she continued on incessantly.

  A door opened and I heard the welcome notes of Desirée’s voice close by. I stood up even as she came breezily to a stop beside me.

  “I’m all done. I’ve got the money and we’re good to go.” She said enthusiastically and I nodded noncommittally as I waited a bit impatiently for her to exit the bank lobby.

  Her quick smiling eyes ran over me perceptively and then her gaze moved to the old woman, who had plagued me for the last hour, who surprisingly was now acting as if talking to me had never entered her mind. In fact she was concentrating a bit too hard on a crossword puzzle that I had never once seen her previously working upon. Would the games never stop!

  I was on the verge of stepping forward to throttle the old woman, who I now knew to be a demonic agent for the other side when Desirée’s hand slipped into mine and she said, “Easy Tiger. You’re really too easy you know. Exactly how do you think it would look in the tabloids, ‘Former pop singer’s bodyguard goes postal on old woman.’”

  She had a point. “Come on Honey.” Desirée said, as she tugged on my hand and reluctantly I moved along.

  While she did have a point the thing that she never seemed to quite grasp was that I didn’t overly care what the tabloids might say. More than anything else though right now was that I was mad that I hadn’t picked up on the old woman’s allegiances before now.

  She glanced up with an evil smirk and the urge to slug her nearly overwhelmed me all over again. All that stopped me was that I knew Desirée wouldn’t be happy.

  To the best of my ability I urged restraint upon myself, because my purpose wasn’t to be self-serving. The question remained however as to how I was to keep my master alive if I continued to overlook even the simplest of guises that evil could manifest.

  Once free of the bank I began to apologize, “I sorry! I try to not be blind like that and….”

  “Shut up.”

  “What?” I asked looking down to Desirée beside me with surprise.

  She still held my hand and as always her touch burned me as if it was fire. I tugged to be free and with odd reluctance she let my hand go.

  She was looking at me deeply and in an effort to deflect her study of me I said, “You have the money.”

  “Yes, the last of it I’m afraid. Well, no matter, God will provide. As the Bible says in the book of Psalms, “I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.”

  Amused I said, “That only works for you.”

  Turning to face me fully she asked, “Yes and why is that Victor? You’ve been my shadow these past several months and you’ve become such a fixture in my life that I swear you know what I’m thinking before I do. What’s holding you back from believing in God as I do and being an heir to the same promises that I am?”

  I shook my head negatively. What she’d said at first wasn’t at all the case. She would, to me, always be an unfathomable mystery.

  I glanced around as was my habit. My eyes took in the outdoor bank cameras, which were further backed up, as if there was any need for it by the cameras located in each city street pole.

  We were well and truly marked by now. We needed to change position before they had time to set something up.

  “Victor don’t shut me out this time! Please!”

  My gaze turned back to her earnestly pleading one. Quickly then she asked, as she saw that all of my attention was back on her, “You’ve seen God at work like few ever get the chance to in these past few months. What’s holding you back from making a personal commitment to Yeshua?”

  Sooner or later it always came to this. Most of the time I simply refused to answer her, but today I relented and said against my better judgment, “I know your God is who He says He is. I know. I don’t doubt that His power is the greatest of all. I see Him in you and others like you. He’s not my God though. He’s yours, not mine.”

  Looking as if she was on the verge of tears Desirée asked, “Why Victor?”

  I should be silent now, but her eyes always had power on me and right now especially. I looked down and said, “I lose my soul. You’re still good. I…… no good.”

  “Victor you are a good man! You have been nothing but a gentleman to me! Far more actually! Stop lying to yourself! God wants you! Look at me! I didn’t start out well either and…….”

  I held up a hand and pointing sharply at her in an effort to get her to see I said, “You made choice to leave and stop the evil that you did. God loves you for this I know. I didn’t make your choice. I stayed. I killed and one day I be killed and then it all be over with. No more. I want that peace, but first I protect you.”

  Her eyes searched mine and in a protesting voice she urged, “But you did leave. You’re helping me aren’t you?”

  “I owe you. Not make me a good man. Impossible!”

  Tilting her head to the side resolutely she said, “Victor you are a good man and God wants you and I’m never giving up on letting you know that!”

  “I know, but now we must go. We stay here far too long. All banks direct link to evil!”

  Taking her hand I tugged her along hurriedly and once more the game began. She was getting good at it though.

  I’d finally convinced her to give up wearing high heels and now instead she jogged beside me responding intuitively to my movements as I switched street sides and cut through alleyways. I heard the screech of tires just ahead as a car roared up to a stop sign.

  I wasted no time. I pulled my gun and stepping free of the alleyway I watched the surprised two man kill squad glance to me suddenly appearing from where I hadn’t been likely broadcasted to be.

  The gun in my hand bucked twice and both men fell slumped within the car that displayed federal plates. The one would be killers forehead had fallen forward to rest against the steering wheel and as a result the horn was going off nonstop.

  Stepping close to the car I elbowed in the window and pushed his head away from engaging the horn. The radio within the car crackled with annoyance, “Well how about it Frank? Is it them or not?”

  Reaching forward I snared the mic. Holding it to my chest to help garble my accented reply I said in my best English, which wasn’t very good, “Nahh. Keep looking.”

  I glanced to Desirée, only to see her shake her head negatively at my attempt to sound American. I dropped the mic and ran to her.

  She glanced at me with alarm, “Victor……Omphh!”

  I pushed her to the side and did my best to follow along, but not fast enough to avoid the slam of the bullet that had been meant for the woman that I’d come to love. I landed heavily on one arm, which was enough to avoid from crushing Desirée.

  For a moment I panicked at the sight of blood on her shirt only to then realize it wasn’t from any injury of hers, but rather from mine. Her eyes registered both fright and something else. Something that was seemingly all about me.

  I blinked. There simply was no time.

  I surged to my feet and brought her up with me. Forcing my right arm that felt like it was on fire to function I forced it to conform around her shoulders and urge her on as I forced us to run down the block.

  I kept my body between hers and the bullets even as pieces of mortar and storefront glass shattered all around us. People were screaming as they ducked left and right as bullets rained down out of the sky.

  Glanci
ng up I saw it was a black helicopter held aloft in whisper mode. One could only imagine the efforts the elite would have to go through in order to screen this incident from ever appearing in the news.

  Seeing my chance I turned to the side and sent Desirée tumbling forward to roll across the sidewalk to the sheltering cover offered by a parked van. Bringing my pistol up I didn’t waste taking any shots at the armored helicopter. If I’d had a rifle then maybe, but not with a pistol.

  Instead I took aim at an overhead transformer located three stories up on a building and fired off four quick shots. It blew apart in a cloud of sparks some 30 feet away from where the helicopter had stopped to hover.

  Our abrupt halt on the street had caused the gunners fire to trace ahead momentarily, but now it was chewing back across the hard pavement towards me. Dropping my aim I fired the remainder of my clip in fast succession even as I began sidestepping away from the path of lead intent on cutting me into two pieces.

  The street side fire hydrant, which was the target of my focus, was already cracked open in order to afford kids on the street a moment of respite from the heat of the day. My five shots all targeted into one spot on the timeworn brittle cast-iron fire hydrant caused a small chunk of metal to shatter free. It was enough.

  The cascade of high-pressure water shot upwards temporarily obscuring the gunner’s view and ducking beneath the line of blind fire I headed for Desirée’s still laying body on the sidewalk beside the parked van. What she okay?

  In alarm my eyes studied every aspect of her in a moment of time and in relief I realized that she was fine, if not dazed a bit by all that was going on. As I slammed a new magazine into my pistol I watched her eyes go wide and her mouth fall open as she looked at something beyond me.

  She had such beautiful teeth. It sounded odd, but she did.

  It was more than just her teeth or the way her mouth was shaped though. Instead it was that I had seen those generous lips form so many words in the process of singing even as her teeth and the actions of her tongue drove forth the octave sounds that enraptured thousands to the point of forgetting about everything else just in order to hear what she was saying in praise to her God.

  The sounds of extreme electrical friction combined with the sound of an engine in distress heralded the event of the upward shooting geyser of water connecting with the exposed electrical source. The water bathed over the helicopter only to land on the ruptured power supply that even now electrically traced back up the falling veil of water to fry the helicopter where it hovered in midair.

  Its flight system down the helicopter plummeted to land hard on the sidewalk below. It let off with a massive explosion that sent nearby cars hurling away, as every glass window within 200 feet of the blast shattered into pieces.

  Debris blew past us with tidal force power, as I stood to the side of the van and offered Desirée a hand up. Dazed from looking at the destruction of the helicopter and yet again with that look of something else in regards to me alone she took my hand and came to her feet.

  She made as if to say something, but again there was no time. I urged her into a run.

  Rounding a street corner I saw a construction zone ahead. An old skyscraper had been brought down to no doubt pave the way for another one to go up in its place. It was Saturday and the heavy construction equipment sat parked in a clearing made within the piles of rubble.

  I took my coat off and surged toward the security fence. Reaching the fence my fingers dug into the chain-link panel as I pushed off with both feet. This was nothing new for me. As a boy in Leningrad I had scaled many such fences.

  Today was different though in that I’d never had to help someone else over before. The fence was but a temporary one and really it had no strength built into it.

  As I reached the top my hands whipped the coat around the three strands of barb wire. Slipping over the bunched together wires I caught a hold of the tales of my coat and arrested my freefall over the other side of the fence.

  My weight hanging far enough to the one side of the poorly supported fence along with my momentum was enough. The top-heavy fence only moored to the ground by cement cinderblocks bowed over until my feet could touch the ground.

  Out of breath I called out to Desirée, “Come now! Safe.”

  She blinked, but then came forward to run up the inclined plain of the fence. Reaching the top she passed over the three strands of razor wire to then jump the 6 feet to the ground.

  She landed with an, ‘oomph!’ even as I let go of my coat. The fence reared back up partially, but not all the way.

  I moved on then pulling Desirée out of the dust along the way. Coming to the parked equipment I went down the line of rock trucks in search of the right one.

  Pointing I said, “There! See the grease?”

  Desirée panted out, “So?”

  “Good operator. Good truck. Now climb.” I said motioning to the ladder that trailed up the side of the behemoth truck that I judged to be in 85 ton truck class.

  Most women I think would have objected, but Desirée only gave me a brief glance of, ‘You can’t be serious!’ before she started up the ladder.

  I started up after her respectfully keeping from looking up as I did so. It was wrong to feel the lust that I did for this holy woman and to my dying day I would respect her as different from all the rest.

  It was hard climbing as my one arm became increasingly more painful to use by the moment. My right side was soaked with blood. I needed to stop the bleeding, but we had to get moving first.

  The small cab had only the one driver’s seat and a half sized cushion to the other side of the shifter. The passenger cushion was covered with stuff and in general the cab was filled with porn in the form of calendars and magazines galore.

  Going around to the deck above the engine I opened the passenger door and chucked out most of it. Having to stay bent over because of the truck bed’s cab protector I gestured to the cleared out area, “Sorry. Good operator not always mean good man.”

  Desirée stepped past the thrown out debris that represented one man’s obsession with the things of the world. She had to twist about in order to sit on the cushion that really wasn’t big enough to be considered a seat.

  With her hip pressed up against the gear shifter I winced as I had to still push on the door to get it to latch. Going to my side I began my own ordeal of fitting within the narrow confines of the cab. These trucks simply weren’t made for bigger people.

  Desirée watched on bemused from her own scrunched position, as I had to forcibly move my knee past the wheel column. I scarcely had enough leeway with my foot to move it between the gas pedal and the brake.

  Glancing to Desirée I caught her looking at me with a humorous light to her gaze. I knew what she saw. I looked fat the way I was scrunched up into this truck, but I was not!

  Checking that I was in park my hands twisted on the key already in the ignition. Nothing happened.

  I tried it again with the same result. I smacked my forehead then. I’d forgotten the master switch.

  Pointing back out her door I said, “Lever over there by battery case. Turn clockwise.”

  She nodded and reaching behind her she unlatched the door. She fell backward onto the deck with a slight squeal, but quickly recovered.

  Crouching she made her way across the deck over to the lever that I had indicated. She flipped it and I turned the key. The big truck rumbled to life.

  In her hurry to get back inside she forgot about the overhead canopy and stood straight up. I winced as over the roar of the air compressor building up brake pressure I saw her clutch at her head. She moved on gamely though to crawl back into the cab beside me.

  She did her best to pull her door shut, but she was just a little too generously made in terms of the width of her hips to do it. I reached across and helped to pull the door shut which brought another wince to her face.

  “Sorry there not more room. I……”

  Her hand came to
my bloody arm, “Don’t you dare apologize about anything!”

  I glanced into her eyes to see her intentness and nodded. I glanced to my air gage. There wasn’t enough air yet.

  “Why aren’t we moving?”

  “Not enough air. No air no brakes.”

  Her eyes widened, as we both shook to the vibrations of the massive engine below us. Shaking her head she said, “I can’t imagine having to be cooped up in here all day long. I’d go crazy!”

  I nodded and said, “It happens.”

  She glanced at me and then worriedly to my shoulder, “We’ve got to stop the bleeding Victor. I don’t care how tough you are you only have so much blood.”

  I nodded. I didn’t feel so tough right now actually. That’s why I’d made her go flip the switch for fear that I’d pass out on the way there.

  There was nothing within this filthy truck that I wanted to stuff into a wound however. Reaching one hand exploratively behind my seat I found what I was hoping I would. With a heaved wrench I pulled my hand free with the small bottle of vodka intact.

  It was half gone, but there was still enough left to be useful. In surprise then I watched Desirée lean over to pull the vodka free of my hand.

  She unbuttoned my shirt halfway and getting enough leeway she pulled my shirt down past my shoulder. The bullet had gone cleanly through and with awakening surprise I watched Desirée unscrew the cap off the vodka bottle and pour it over both the entry and exit wounds.

  Life flooded back into me in the form of pain then. Something was pressed to my lips, “Drink!”

  In surprise I took a swallow of the vodka. I wouldn’t have thought she’d want me to take a drink.

  My eyes about fell out of my head then as I saw her take a drink before then emptying the rest of the bottle over my shoulder. Despite the pain I couldn’t fathom what I’d just seen.

  The woman who never did anything out of step hadn’t really taking a swig of vodka had she?

  My continued stare had her blushing and responding with, “What?”

  “You drank alcohol.”

  “So what if I did.”

  I blinked, “You sin now?”

  She turned her head to the side and regarded me curiously, “What makes you think I’ve sinned? Because I just drank alcohol? Jesus drank wine for goodness sake! I haven’t sinned, but if I got drunk that would be a different story.”

  Nodding I looked away. She redefined so many things as to what a believer in Yeshua should look like. Truly Christianity wasn’t the hypocrisy of belief that I had always witnessed it to be when I judged it solely from the actions of this woman and others like her.

  “Doctrines of man.” I whispered out thoughtfully.

  “What?” She asked surprised.

  “A month ago in Kansas you preached on the doctrines of man being different than what Bible says and thus wrong.”

  “So you do listen!”

  “Always.” Then to cut her off from delving too deeply I said, “It’s your time of the month.”

  Her face went from one of question to one of absolute embarrassment as she choked out, “How do you know that?”

  “I pay attention. You act different. You have those things?”

  Her eyes widened as she comprehended what I was referring to. Her hand dove into the pocket of her skirt and came out with two tampons. Excitedly she said, “I know what to do! I heard about this in a news story last year.”

  She had the one out of its wrapper and pressed to the wound, but there is where she stalled. She started to deploy it, but I said, “Deeper.” Even as I pressed on the back of her hand. The tampon slid forward into the hole snuggly and I let go of her hand.

  I watched a tear slide down her cheek, but not saying anything she took the second one and forcefully pushed it into the bullet exit hole at my back. Pulling back from me her hands awash with my blood I said, “Thank you.” Even as I passed her an oil rag to help clean the blood from off her hands.

  Turning away from that something special look in her eyes again I saw that my air gage was full. I pushed the parking brake off and forcefully moved the gear lever forward in a solid rub along Desirée’s outer thigh.

  “Sorry.”

  “What on Earth are you apologizing again for?”

  “Close. Close in here.”

  “So?” She asked.

  I blinked. I didn’t understand this woman and now was not a good time to figure her out. The truck eased forward and I smashed through the perimeter fence with relative ease.

  Gaining the blacktop I went to a higher gear and turning a corner I was greeted by a solid wall of cop cars. They’d been forming a containment line under direction to accomplish the orders of overlord bosses they likely couldn’t even fathom the existence of. It did them no good now though.

  We surged forward with a rumble and police with drawn out guns scattered to the left and the right moments before we smashed two cruisers backwards so hard they flipped. I wasn’t done yet though.

  I hit the brakes and put the truck into reverse. The big dually tires churned backward as I spun the wheel.

  The big tires armed with 4 inch tread grooves and momentum surged up and over the parked police cruisers with crushing force. It was bumpy and a sheer agony to my shoulder, especially as Desirée kept bumping into it.

  “I’m sorry!” She cried out repeatedly, as she sought for something to hold onto to keep from bumping into me.

  Despite the pain I was starting to feel pretty good again. “What you apologize for? This fun!” I said, as I shifted into a forward gear once more. I was now in route for the two remaining cruisers that had gone unscathed so far. They wouldn’t be that way for long.

  I plowed into them with great satisfaction even as pistol bullets ricocheted off the metal exteriors of the rock truck. One bullet smacked into my side window and that’s where it stayed.

  Desirée peered around me to look at the bullet caught in the cracked glass that would’ve taken my head off if it had come through.

  “Safety glass good stuff!” I said with a grin.

  “Yes, very good!” She said back with a grin of her own.

  Then pointing behind us she asked over the roar of the truck’s engine, “Who’s going to pay for all that?”

  I shrugged and said, “Better not let them catch us then, hey.”

  I shifted the truck to its highest gear even though no cop cars were in pursuit. Every car in general was doing its best to steer over to the side to make room for the rock truck.

  It was not in my intentions to kill innocent people so I steered over into some side alleyways, one of which got so tight that we had to sheer a few fire escapes off.

  In the process the catwalk railing around the deck of the rock truck cab platform was torn off as well. That was to our advantage.

  Pealing through yet one more alleyway I sighted the scenic river by-road just ahead. This was our chance. Reaching across I opened Desirée’s door and she half fell out of it again.

  Looking back at me her eyes were an open question to me as I steered onto a course that ran parallel with the river. Her eyes tracked from the nearby river to me with alarm.

  I motioned toward where the railing had been as trying to speak over the roar of the engine was pointless. Obediently she crawled that way.

  I knew she thought I was crazy, but she never objected against anything I proposed to do in the pursuit of trying to protect her. It dawned on me that she must respect me for this to be the case.

  I’d never had a woman’s respect for me like that before. Respect for my strength or the ability to kill, yes. But respect as a person of sound judgment, no.

  She’d crawled to the edge of the platform and now looked back expectantly at me. Glancing back using my side mirror I saw a TV helicopter off in the distance. It was closing in fast.

  For our escape to work they couldn’t see us jump. Distraction would be needed.

  Reaching down I pulled a case of grease tubes on the f
loor over from Desirée’s side to wedge them down on top of the gas pedal. The rock truck seemed to be flying, but in reality it was only going about 50 mph.

  Tying the wheel off to be held in place by several long oil rags I crawled my own path across the gear shifter and out Desirée’s door. Reaching the deck I turned back all the while hoping that the rags kept the wheel on a steady course.

  As a distraction for the helicopter TV crew I yanked up on the hydraulic bed control lever. The heavy steel plated bed of the rock truck immediately began to lift up and I scrambled back out of the cab to run across the deck towards Desirée.

  Uncertainly she stood up and when she did so my arm came around her waist and we both jumped. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion then.

  The guardrail along the road passed by under us and then roadside weeds and the scattered boulders meant to bolster the road from being eroded away by the river. Would we make it to the water?

  We did, but it was only by the narrowest of margins. The splashdown was terrific in terms of impact.

  I lost hold of Desirée and in panic I felt around for her, only to feel her tugging on my shirt at the back. Trying to come back to awareness I stopped flailing and turned as she pulled me to the rocks.

  I was out of breath and I didn’t feel good, but now was no time for such things. I stumbled clumsily in my attempt to climb the rocks and I didn’t miss the concern in Desirée’s eyes.

  Anger at my own weakness spurred me to shrug her hold on me off and climb the rest of the way up the bank unaided. Reaching the top I breathed, as if my lungs were the bellows of a blacksmith’s forge.

  “Victor!”

  The world was fuzzy and moving around. I pulled free of Desirée’s grasp on my arm. I had to get her away!

  I saw movement and recognized the form of an oncoming pickup truck. I swung over the railing and staggering to the center of the road I pulled my pistol out to take aim at the shiny window where the driver would be.

  The truck came to a screeching halt after a prolonged skid of burnt rubber. As it was the front bumper came up to press against my leg.

  My voice slurred sounding even to my own ears I said, “Get out of truck!”

  The driver door cranked open and a middle-aged man with a handlebar mustache got out with hands raised and eyes the size of dinner plates.

  “We take truck and you tell nobody or I kill you! Understand?”

  The man nodded jerkily and quickly backed away from the truck. Motioning with the gun to Desirée I said, “You drive.”

  That done I started to use the hood of the truck as a crutch to make my way to the passenger door. Desirée’s words stopped me, “Victor I can’t drive a stolen vehicle.”

  Coming to a halt I peered back at the fuzzy outline of her still standing at the side of the road.

  “What?” I asked before motioning to the road that the rock truck had rolled on down and saying, “That was stolen.”

  “Yes, but I didn’t drive it.”

  My head fell with a thunk onto the hood of the truck. Oh she could be so difficult sometimes!

  Always with the fairness and honesty above all else! Despite my frustration with her in the moment though it also happened to be one of the things I liked about her the most.

  It made me want to believe everything she preached about, because I knew she wasn’t telling anybody anything she wasn’t already putting into effect within her own life. Lifting my head I gestured once more with the gun to the former driver of the truck, who was looking from one to the other of us incredulously as to what was going on, “What you want for truck? What value?”

  The man blinked and then looked at the truck before replying with, “I probably couldn’t get much more than seven grand out of it the way she stands now.”

  Desirée hurried forward and pulling a stack of dripping paper money out of her dress pocket she said, “Here’s 10,000 for your troubles.”

  The man blinked repetitively as he took the money. He glanced at her, as if she was an angel, and said, “I’ve been carjacked three times in my life living in this cursed city and this would be the fourth, but I sure ain’t ever been paid for it before. Really this is too much. I think the transmission is going. You better have half of this back.”

  Desirée smiling touched the man’s face and said, “God bless you for your honesty Charlie Swartzentruber, but you keep all of that.”

  In shock the man whispered, “How do you know my name?”

  “I only know what the Holy Spirit reveals to me and Charlie, God wants you to know that He’s seen what a faithful witness you’ve been to the men you’ve worked with all these years. Your reward is certain. Keep up at what you are doing for the Kingdom for you are bearing fruit with an eternal consequence.”

  Crying the man nodded briefly in affirmation as Desirée moved past him to the driver door of the truck. Shaking my head I turned and managed to fumble my own way into the truck.

  Desirée pulled the truck forward a few feet to stop beside the former owner and say, “We’d appreciate it if you didn’t report this as stolen for at least a week, but I understand if you don’t.”

  The man shook his head and said, “No that would be stealing from the insurance company seeing as you’ve already paid me for the truck. No, you keep this truck for as long as it runs for you and I won’t be saying anything about it.”

  Desirée smiled and blew a kiss at the man and was on the verge of pulling away when she said once more to the man, “Incidentally the classic car that you’ve wanted for years that your neighbor three doors down has had parked in his garage for the past three years is now for sale. He’ll take 10,000 for it. Goodbye Charlie and thanks for helping us.”

  Desirée drove on and my view of the man’s face was taken away, but the image of his shocked expression remained all the same. Desirée was not a liar this I knew. Neither was she deceptive and she prayed to no dark spirit for aid.

  I knew all this and had heard her words many times and still it had never really dawned on me quite like it was in this moment just how truly this woman’s God moved and breathed His Spirit into both this woman’s words and actions. She reached her hand over and gave my limp hand resting on the seat a squeeze even as she flashed me a quick smile and said, “You’re going to be okay Victor.”

  “How do you know?” I asked thickly.

  She rolled her eyes playfully at me and said, “I just know.”

  “What else do you know?” I asked.

  Her gaze came back to me and her smile wasn’t so much playful as it was something more deeply sensual in nature as she said, “I think you know as much as I know Mr. Bodyguard about what is going to happen between us.”

  I shifted uncomfortably and turned away from the view of the future that she was so willingly tempting me with.

  “I don’t understand.” I mumbled.

  She laughed and I looked back at her perturbed in that she found my inner dilemma as something to be laughed at. She blew past my cold look to say, “It doesn’t matter whether you understand or not. The ways of God are past finding out and He has a calling upon your life that you can’t deny.”

  “Calling? What could your God possibly want to do with me?”

  She eyed me up speculatively before saying, “Different people have different gifts. For some it’s the gift of teaching or prophecy, for others it’s the gift of enabling those around them to do bigger and grander things. Neither is more important than the other, but both are essential to the success of the other. You and I make a great team. The past five months of my life have been wonderful.”

  I looked at her askance, but she insisted, “It’s true! Maybe it sounds weird seeing as we have been on the run for our lives for the most part, but I haven’t been alone. I haven’t been overly caught up in the fear of staying alive either. I…… I want it to be even more than just companionship between the two of us.”

  I shook my head and as my eyes focused on her forehead I said wit
h all the force I could muster, “I killed you!!! I never forget that! Never!”

  She glanced away from the road to me to say with kindness undeserved, “What’s important to remember is not so much what you did, but rather that I’ve chosen to forgive you. I’ve forgiven you whether you think you deserve it or not.”

  “How you be like this? I don’t understand!”

  “I can forgive you Victor, because I have been forgiven of all the truly atrocious things that I have done and partaken of. Now, however, I don’t have to live every day in remembrance of all the things that I’ve done wrong, but rather each new day is now part of an ever evolving second chance. Victor you have a second chance waiting for you too. All you have to do is claim it. I know you believe. All that remains is to confess what you’ve done wrong and tell Jesus that you believe in what He did for you and that you ask for His forgiveness, even as you welcome Him to rule and reign in your life from now on.”

  I shook my head and turned away. The woman would never be satisfied until she had my soul in the hands of her God!

  What was perhaps the most alarming thing though, was that I even still had a soul. A second chance. Not only did that apply to the spiritual, but also to the physical.

  I had a second chance to live life with her. If I could only forgive myself for what I had done that might be possible, but as it was that would never be as I simply didn’t have that much courage.

  And yet how was I to deny her anything she wanted of me. She of all people had the right to demand the most of me so how was it right to deny her?

  Again her unselfishness overwhelmed me. If I embraced her God then she would be mine. How could this be?

  I neither deserved forgiveness or the gift of the occurrence of something priceless like her in my life and yet, just the same, both were being pressed upon me like gifts that went far beyond the range of any deserved merit one could earn in life. This grace I could not comprehend and yet I hungered for it as much as I did to be one flesh with the object of my every fantasy.

  My gaze shifted from the inward focus of internal matters of the spirit to the signs of stopped traffic up ahead. The traffic was moving howbeit rather slowly.

  Eventually we reached the scene of flashing lights and firetrucks pulled over to the one side of the road. The guard rail was gone and all that remained visible of the rock truck was a portion of one of the rear dually tires sticking up above the current of the river.

  A TV helicopter hovered overhead even as a mass body of police officers and firemen stood gazing out at the sunken rock truck. Divers were no doubt on the way and when they confirmed that we were no longer in the cab the manhunt would begin in earnest.

  I glanced down to the gas gage of the truck as we pulled free of the slowdown in traffic and began to pick up speed again. The gas gage read almost full.

  “Drive until you’re almost out of gas. Don’t stop. If you do have to get gas shield your face. Be careful to……”

  “Victor, I know. We’ve done this before. Just rest. I’ll take good care of you.”

  “No doctors! Don’t buy all medical stuff in one place. Don’t go……”

  “Victor, I’ve got it. You can trust me.”

  I turned my face to the window as I reflected on that truth. Truly she was the only person in my life that I absolutely could trust.

  I didn’t want to think about anything anymore as I was just too tired. I let myself drift off into sleep knowing that I could trust her. I just wished I could protect her right now, but it was beyond my capabilities of the moment.

  I hoped her God would keep her safe, since I couldn’t right now. I even half prayed for it to be so.