The End Defines the Beginning : A Boarding School Coming of Age (Harlow Academy Series Book 1)

by Sarah Appleby

  Emily tried to smile, but the revenge meant nothing to her. Leila was excited by the ripe, plump story but Emily just wished it never happened. Nothing would make up for this being a permanent part of her Harlow story. It had ruined the fairy tale forever.

  Leila wrapped her arm around Emily. Emily was surprised by the sudden affection.

  “Listen, Em. This place is hard. Living in close quarters with a bunch of other spoiled, entitled teenagers for four years… there will be lots of bumps in the road. You can handle this. And when you leave this place, with all its snobs and bitches and pricks, you’ll know you can take on the world.”

  Then she looked Emily in the eyes and said, earnestly, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  “HEY, GET PIERCE for me,” Leila said to a tiny prep she caught reading in the common room at Wainwright Hall.

  The prep looked at Leila as is she was a ghost and shook his head yes. Senior girls were scary.

  Leila sat down on one of the great, old armchairs. Every dorm had two common rooms. One where meetings were held, photos were taken, old, valuable relics were kept, tradition was on display. And the other housed microwaves, TVs, refrigerators, table tennis tables or whatever fun and laid back items one might find in a rec room in a home.

  Leila sat in the former and looked around at the stale, crusty white faces lining the walls. Portraits of the great donors of Harlow Academy stared at her. The crumbling books on the shelves told of their exploits, making boys into men, just like the inscription over the Academy Building steps- “Come here boys so that ye shall be men.” Or some bullshit like that. She took a deep, heavy breath and let it out.

  Pierce put his head around the corner and with a surprised look on his face, entered the room. Seeing Leila was unexpected. He couldn’t imagine any reason why she would want to see him. Pierce, like most everyone on campus, knew who Leila was. She was impossible to miss. Six feet tall, quite cute but wearing no makeup or frills, she was serious about sport and focused on soccer every day of the week. When she wasn’t on the pitch she was seen all the time with a ball around campus. Doing tricks. Kicking it against the wall. He had to admit; she was impressive.

  Pierce had a fearful sort of respect for Leila. She was as strong and as powerful as any of the guys and seemed to have an FU attitude that was very un-Harlow. Somehow her lack of decorum and manners scared people. Talking to her felt a bit like playing Russian roulette; it always made your adrenaline pump, was mostly harmless but if you were in the firing just the once, it was fatal.

  “Hey, Leila, interesting to see you here,” he said, not sitting down, “What’s up?”

  Leila stood up and got close to Pierce. Too close for comfort, Pierce backed away a little, and the pair were almost eye to eye.

  “Pierce, I know who writes Conundrum now.”

  “Well, you would,” he replied, nonchalantly. Everyone knew by now that Leila had been the mastermind behind the blog so she would have known who now holds the reins.

  “This person knows about the cams. And you’re the next story.”

  Pierce’s jaw dropped to the floor. When the prep fetch him, he never though in a million years he would head to the gallows.

  There was only one way to untie this noose.

  “Well,” he said, composing himself in a split second and coming back with a defense, “I’m going to need you to help me stop that story.”

  Leila gave a cocked smile and lifted her brow.

  “Oh you do, do you?”

  “Yeah. Listen, I promise to get rid of all the content. I swear there’s only one cam and I’ll get it down. But you need to help me take down that story. I mean… come on Leila, it was a stupid mistake and it will absolutely ruin the rest of my time at Harlow. It’ll be like the fox getting slaughtered in the hen house.”

  “Why would I help you? I don’t give a crap if you get your just desserts. Eat them. You’re a prick and I only wish I had figured out this story myself. You’ve probably done it before now and I don’t believe for a second this is your first time OR that there’s only one camera.”

  Pierce knew he couldn’t woo her with the charm card. So he changed tack.

  “Well, I’ll trade you rumors then,” he said.

  “Oh really?”

  “I’ll tell everyone about your kiss with Penelope.”

  There was a pause. The pair looked at each other like it was a western dual.

  And then Leila laughed. It was a cackling, fake laughter seen only on wicked witches in Disney films. She composed herself and looked Pierce in the eye.

  “I don’t give a flying fuck about that, Pierce. That gossip is so old it has mold on it,” she said, and continued with a rising anger, “Anyway, do you think I care if everyone thinks I’m a lesbian? Go for it. I’ll join the party and come out of the closet officially. Not denying it will make you look like a dumbass, a total stupid, intolerant, bigoted dumbass. I’m happy to tell the world about the fact that I don’t like cock. I can’t wait to get out of this stuffy, conservative white man’s paradise full of them. I can handle a stupid rumor that’s actually the truth for the rest of the school year. Especially if it helps out an innocent prep that you conned into giving it up. Go fuck yourself, Pierce. The story is running.”

  Pierce knew he lost. He lost to the FU attitude.

  “Why are you even telling me ahead of time? What do you have to gain from it if you weren’t willing to barter?” Pierce asked as Leila headed to the door.

  She spun around.

  “I just hate guys like you, Pierce. It was fun to watch you squirm…” she said as she left.

  But before she did, she poked her head back around the corner. She had her last words.

  “Oh, and if you don’t get the content totally erased, down from wherever you’ve uploaded it, I swear… I’ll know. I’ll know because the person who found it in the first place is trailing you. You’ve been hacked and they know everything you’ve ever done or ever will do online. Take the content down, or my next stop will be the police station. I won’t even make a pit stop at the dean’s office.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

  EMILY’S PHONE BUZZED on her desk.

  She sat in bed, stared over at her cell, but couldn’t move. Since telling Leila the truth, a numbing agent sizzled through her body. She had spent the entire afternoon in her bed, immobile and feeling heavy as a rock.

  Buzz. Buzz. Two more texts.

  Emily dragged herself out of bed and flipped over her phone to have a look. She shot up immediately and adrenaline coursed through her veins, energizing and stiffening her body. It was Pierce.

  Emily threw her head back, eyes wide open. She looked again at her mobile, heart beating harder after a 50 meter sprint. Blood pumped around her body and she flushed, warm with anxiety. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and then opened them.

  Opening the texts, Emily sensed Pierce’s desperation:

  “Hey little one, wanna meet up?”

  “I’ve been missing our chats. I’m around for a walk now if you are?”

  “We need to spend more time together.”

  Leila had definitely been by to see him. Emily texted back.

  “Sure. I can come down to the common room now.”

  Within nanoseconds, he replied.

  “Be there in five.”

  Emily could hardly tie her shoe laces, her hands shook. Looking into Pierce’s eyes, how would she feel? A small part of her still felt let down. Pathetic as she knew it was, she still wished he liked her. If he did, maybe it all could boil down to peer pressure from Grayson.

  She knew this was naïve and wishful thinking. But thinking he never liked her at all cut through her like a knife. It physically hurt. When she thought this way, her chest grew tight and hot, the way it did when she swallowed an air bubble.

  Lying there all afternoon, she had had time to convince herself that she should be angry. That she should know that guys
are only out for one thing and give him a piece of her mind. She tried to muster up the anger she had felt after Andy died.

  Looking down at her laces, she hadn’t noticed Georgia in the door way.

  “Where you headed?” she asked.

  Emily nearly jumped out of her skin. Seeing her bright, confident roommate, sparked a change in Emily. Georgia wouldn’t take any crap. Georgia had self-respect.

  “I’m going to go break it off with Pierce.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

  ARRIVING IN THE common room, Emily saw Pierce looking out the window. His hands held together behind his back, he concentrated. His body language told Emily she was with a different guy. A guy that knew he was in it deep.

  Hearing her enter the room, he spun around. A smile came across his face.

  “Little one…” he said with delight and warmth.

  Rushing over, he immediately embraced Emily. Caught off guard, all Emily could do was raise her forearms to meet his elbows. A half hug.

  He pulled back.

  “I’ve really been missing you,” he said.

  Emily’s resolve shifted within her when his cologne caressed her face, wafting, as if intending to be part of some aromatherapy treatment.

  “Hey…” was all she could muster.

  He grabbed her hand.

  “Let’s go for a walk and talk. There’s still a bit of light out. We can go back by the river behind the gym?”

  His hand held hers firmly. She could feel his pulse beating through its veins.

  “Ok…”

  The pair exited the dorm. The rush of chilly air was like opening a freezer door on a summer day. It calmed Emily’s flushed cheeks and brought her temperature back in balance.

  As they walked along the path toward the back fields, Pierce made small talk.

  “So… you think you’re going to join cycling club again in Spring? Have you been liking it?”

  “Yeah… it’s been fun.”

  The question only reminded Emily that she had only moments ago wanted to run away from everything to do with Pierce. What a strange thing it was to have him even holding her hand right now. Why should she let him touch her? She pulled her hand away as politely as possible but he noticed.

  He stopped her and squared off to her. Hypnotic brown eyes stared at her deeply.

  “Em, I actually brought you out tonight for a reason. I’ve been really stupid. I mean, really, REALLY stupid.”

  Emily stiffened.

  “You know I like you, I mean, I even think I’m falling in love with you.”

  It may have been a lie, but it was still sounded like sweet music to Emily’s ears. She squeezed her fists and dug her nails into the skin of her palms. She needed to stay alert and strong. Unable to respond with words, she simply stared back at Pierce.

  “We belong together,” he professed, “I knew it from the first time I saw you but just have felt a bit scared, you know?”

  He reached out and grabbed her hand again and continued his speech.

  “Talk to me, little one. Do you feel the same way? I mean, there’s an undeniable energy between us, right?”

  Emily bit her tongue. She couldn’t give anything away. If she let on that she didn’t like him anymore, he would know for certain she knew about the cams. It could compromise the privacy that she and Xander promised they would never betray.

  Pierce grew less sure of himself. She should have melted by now. They should have kissed by now. It wasn’t working. He had to tell her about the cams. Get it over and done with and bring him to her side. See if she will deny it all. Defend him when the story ran. If there were together, if he had a girlfriend who protected his integrity, this whole thing could smooth over.

  “Em, I have a confession. Now, hear me out, please. I made a big mistake. Hugest mistake of my life. And I never meant to hurt you with it. It was dumb boy stuff at the time but now I realize that it could ruin this amazing thing that we have. So I wanted to tell you the truth. Clean slate. You’re the kind of girl I could marry. You deserve all of me. The good, the bad and the ugly… as they say.”

  Rigid, Emily waited for it.

  “I put a nanny cam in your room. And, it was there the night we were together.”

  Emily pulled herself away from Pierce. Even though she had already known what was coming, it still filled her with shock.

  “You what?”

  “It was a stupid thing with Grayson. I liked you so much, Emily. You’re gorgeous… and… it was just stupid, and I never thought we were going to have sex or anything.”

  “I trusted you, Pierce,” she said, a mixture of sadness and resistance, “You put a nanny cam in my room? What the heck were you going to do with that?”

  “I don’t know, Em! It was dumb, I know…”

  Emily gained momentum.

  “Pierce, you did something so wrong. On so many levels. And how on earth do you expect me to believe that you actually like me?”

  “I don’t like you, Emily… I love you.”

  Emily stepped back further from this perpetrator. The volume on her voice box turned up as she defended herself.

  “I thought I loved you… I was totally into you. Like never before have I liked a guy the way I liked you. And I’m a good person, Pierce. I am a nice girl and I know that maybe in high school, nice girls aren’t what the ‘popular’ boys like you want. I suppose you want to be with a total jerk? Someone like you who doesn’t care about other people’s feeling and treats them like a pawn in a game of chess? I didn’t deserve this. I don’t need your love. I need respect.”

  He stepped toward her and grabbed for her hand but she pulled it away.

  “Emily, please. I never meant to hurt you.”

  “Why are you telling me this, then, Pierce? Huh? Why are you confessing to this crazy thing you did?”

  “Because, like I said, I want to be with you. And I want an honest relationship. I was hoping that me telling the truth would be a sign of how much I do respect you.”

  Emily took a deep breath. She lowered her volume and continued assertively.

  “Pierce, I will never be with you. I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I don’t want to even be your friend. The selfishness… of this… thing you’ve done? Why would I want to be around a person who is capable of doing something like that? I’m better off without you, Pierce.”

  “Em… I’m sorry…”

  “No you aren’t. I really don’t believe you are. Still, you know what Pierce? I don’t want to be a person with hate in my heart. I don’t want to hate you and be mad at you. One day I will forgive you. But it’ll take a REALLY long time. Don’t expect to find out about it.”

  She turned away from Pierce and left her glass slippers behind.

  CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

  THE DEAD, FALL leaves were almost all on the ground now. Only a few of the most defiant clung to the branches, wiggling furiously in the autumn wind.

  Crunchy and brown underfoot, Emily purposely walked into a pile of them. A groundkeeper must have blown the leaves together ready for collection. What a waste of a good time waiting to happen. She walked into the middle of the pile and looked down, her feet and calves were completely submerged in dead leaves and autumn debris. Strange how the demise of one thing can lead to delight for another.

  Andy had adored autumn as much as Emily. Halloween candy, Emily’s birthday… the air so crisp and refreshing. The pair had always been outside this time of year, knowing they needed to take advantage before winter fell from the skies. Emily recalled one of her oldest memories with Andy, one November day.

  Andy had given Emily a broom, much taller than herself, and had tasked her with brushing autumn leaves into a big pile. He used his feet to kick and scoot them into one area where a massive collection of leaves stood in a pile, now about four feet tall.

  “I’m tired,” shouted an eight-year-old Emily over to her big brother.

  “Come on, there are so many more leaves, Em. Stop being lazy!
”

  They worked some more.

  Finally, Andy stood back and admired the large, pillowy looking pile.

  “Fine,” he shouted, “It’s big enough now.”

  Emily threw the broom down where she was, and ran as fast as she could to Andy, energy springing out of nowhere.

  He stared at the pile of leaves with admiration, proud of the man-made mountain.

  “Want me to throw you in?”

  “Throw me?”

  “Yeah,” he said, “I think I could launch you pretty high off my knee.”

  By now, Emily wasn’t some little kid. She knew that as soft and cushioned as the leaves might appear; they did little to break a fall.

  “I think I’ll just do a timber,” she said.

  She had developed a system of falling back first into the leaves. But she could only do it once. Once the leaves had scattered even in the slightest, timbers hurt.

  “Come on, Em. It’ll be way more fun if I launch you.”

  “I don’t want to get hurt.”

  “What’s one little bruise? The leaves will be gone before we know it,” he said, genuinely wanting her to have fun, but also to watch the leaves blow up like a nuclear mushroom cloud.

  He could see she considered it. He smiled boldly.

  “Take the risk or lose the chance.”

  Still staring at the pile of leaves in front of Smith Hall, the warmth of an epiphany swirled around her chest. Andy lived on. His premature wisdom at play. Harlow was Emily once again following her big brother’s orders. “Take the risk or lose the chance.”

  She continued her journey, walking on the grass rather than the path, past Wainwright Hall, Smith Hall… the Kain library to her right. Autumn made her feel alive. The crisp, cool air illuminated her lungs.