Because He's Perfect

by Anna Edwards

  “He did well.”

  Laurel turned her head to Cal, who had a satisfied smile on his face.

  “But?”

  “No buts. Not really,” he added, his smile wavering. “Until he wakes up, we won’t know if there was any lasting damage from this morning. The CT came back clean, but I want to verify that he’s good. I’m hopeful that he’ll be out of ICU tomorrow.”

  “So, we wait,” Laurel started. She took a seat in the chair next to Colin’s bed, but Cal shook his head.

  “ICU has a very limited visiting schedule, and it’s over in ten minutes. Before you protest, it’s hospital rules. Go home. Take a hot shower and get some real sleep. Take tonight for yourself. He’ll need you tomorrow.”

  Laurel had no other choice other than to listen to Cal. She leaned over the bedrail and placed a lingering kiss on Colin’s surprisingly warm cheek. “I’ll be back tomorrow, Colin. Hold on, please. For me.”

  Laurel knew her request was selfish, but she needed to be selfish in that very moment. She needed Colin to hear her, and she needed him to try for her.

  * * *

  Laurel sank into the hot water of her claw-foot bathtub. It wasn’t a realistic choice for a tub, but she rarely used this bathroom. The tub was more for show than anything in the second of two spare bathrooms, but tonight, it called to her.

  The wall near the tub with decorative shelves usually lined with photos and memorable knick-knacks were now filled with scented candles of all shapes and sizes. Bath salts and bath bombs filled the room with a calming aroma.

  Laurel decided that Skye and Cal were right. She needed to relax as much as possible. But the knots in her back were full of stress. The crick in her neck was full of tension. The ache in her bones full of strain and anxiety. The calming breaths she was taking weren’t helping, and the heat of the water didn’t ease the pain or strife of the last few weeks. In fact, the longer Laurel sat in the steamy silence of the bathroom, the longer the meditative state she longed for seemed like a memory and the closer insanity called to her.

  And then there was that thinking thing. As Laurel sat in the tub, her thoughts started firing ideas. But the one that stuck around was hope.

  Hope was a homing beacon. It kept Laurel going. It was reassuring, soothing, and comforting. It gave her a drive to wish for the best.

  But hope could be dangerous. Too much could be a letdown when things didn’t go as planned. And while Laurel had hope that things would go well, she feared that being too optimistic would do her as much harm as hearing bad news.

  Laurel sighed and sunk deeper into the tub until her nose nearly touched the water. Why couldn’t she be happier and accept that things were going their way? That even though it was more slow and steady and less fast and furious, it was a step up.

  Laurel sat up again, hugging her knees to her chest. This time, she really did try to relax as she attempted breathing in the soothing smells of the lavender and chamomile, and chanting to herself. “I can do this. Think positive thoughts, Laurel. Colin will be fine. He will be okay. He…will be…” But the words were stopped when the tears suddenly came springing forth.

  She sat in the same position until the water went cold, the tears never stopping, only falling harder. With them came the excruciating headache that seemed to work in tandem with the pain in her nasal cavity.

  After the water was drained and comfortable pajamas were put on, Laurel blew out the candles and went to sit on her bed. She stared at herself in the mirror, and she didn’t recognize the reflection looking back. Her face was thinner, paler. She could even see the clothes on her already thin frame appear looser. The tears hadn’t stopped and when she walked to the mirror to get a closer look, there was no rhyme or reason as to why she could feel her feelings change. She could feel the heat building and the anger rising.

  With a sweep of her arms, the small, delicate figurines and photos from her dresser flew across the room. She grabbed the notebook that fell to the floor and began ripping out pages. Paper fluttered to the ground, glass smashed into thousands of pieces, perfumes spilled onto the floor. Once it was all said and done, and Laurel’s room was covered in a mess, she looked around in shock. But somehow, she felt better. She felt a liberation in the cathartic act. Her mind was clear, her tears stopped, and for the first time in weeks, she felt…relief.

  It took minutes, but Laurel finally stood up and carefully stepped over the mess her breakdown caused. Once she grabbed a broom and dustpan to clean the pieces off the hardwood floors, she breathed in and smiled. They were, after all, only materialistic things. They could be replaced. The important things, they were somehow missed.

  On her dresser still sat the card that Colin randomly had delivered to her house, the contents of which still made Laurel grin like a woman in love. The ticket stub of the movie they caught after playing hooky from work, the little figurine from their visit to the Aquarium, all the important things sitting on the far end of the long dresser.

  After disposing of the mess, Laurel crawled into bed and the exhaustion of the day finally caught up to her.

  Chapter Eight

  “Good morning.” Laurel greeted the nurse and Cal in Colin’s hospital room, and for a change, she didn’t sound down. Cal gave her and Skye an odd look, but all Skye could do was shrug.

  “Morning, ladies. Just give us a few more minutes, and we should be able to discuss a few things.” Cal and the nurse talked quietly amongst themselves while Laurel focused on Colin.

  His face seemed to have more color in it, even more than the day they met. Some of the machines that hadn’t left his side since that first day she saw him in the hospital were gone. In fact, most of them were removed and besides a couple of IV bags, a catheter, which she knew they’d be laughing at later, and a tube coming from the enclosed bandages around Colin’s chest.

  “Laurel?” Cal’s voice broke through, and she turned to face the doctor with a smile. He took a seat next to the one she unknowingly took on the stiff sofa parallel to Colin’s bed. “It’s good to see you smiling.”

  “Well, I took your advice. Both of yours,” Laurel added looking between the good doctor and Skye. “I went home to relax, and it was the worst thing I could have done. Skye dropped me off and went to work, and I had a breakdown. It was the best thing ever.”

  Laurel couldn’t hold back the laughter at seeing Skye and Cal’s faces. Surely, they thought she was a little crazy, especially since their confused looks only made her laugh harder.

  “The yelling and breaking of… things… it helped me release all that stress. I cried and screamed and got mad, but it helped. I think I just needed to get rid of the bad energy to let the good in. So, Cal. How was he last night?” Laurel quickly changed the subject so she could get an update.

  “Um, he was great. He woke up a few times, but he was so out of it that I doubt he’d remember anything. His stats are great, there’s been no sign of a fever, and best of all? His new heart is beating strong in his chest. Amazingly, he’ll live a normal life. He’s used to taking medicine every day so taking the anti-rejection meds for his heart won’t be a bother. Once he fully wakes up and we can assess more, then we can work on rehab, meal, and a food plan.”

  Laurel threw her arms around Cal and hugged him tighter than she’d ever hug anyone. His arms came around her, and without words, he knew she was thanking him, and she knew he was telling her that he wouldn’t have it any other way.

  Colin felt like he’d been dropped from space, crash landed on a railroad track, then pushed across the country on said track. He ached, he pained, and all he wanted was to be home, not… wherever he was. He knew he wasn’t in his own bed. Maybe he was at Laurel’s, but that wouldn’t explain the reason he felt so miserable or why he couldn’t remember much of anything.

  He did remember lights, lots of bright lights. And Cal. He was there, wherever there was. But the one thing that he most definitely remembered was hearing her cry. Hearing her voice void of that usual bub
bly sweetness. And the thing that he heard now was her laughter. God, he missed hearing her laugh. He missed her smile and her bright eyes and that scrunching of her nose. He missed her.

  Colin struggled to open his eyes, and what he could see was blurry. Eventually, they adjusted, and he realized he was in a hospital. What happened that he was here? Even more so, Cal and Laurel were hugging.

  “What…” his voice croaked, barely above a whisper, but it was enough to get their attention.

  Cal jumped immediately and started asking asinine questions while checking his vitals. “Tell me your name. What year is it? What’s your favorite movie.”

  “Um, Colin. Twenty-nineteen. Weekend at Bernie’s.”

  The light pen turning off let Colin see Cal rolling his eyes and mumbling to himself, but the smile on his face never wavered. “Of course you’d love that stupid movie.”

  “Thirsty,” was the only word Colin could get out before the dryness in his throat rendered him speechless.

  “Laurel, do you and Skye mind going to the nurses’ station to get some ice chips, please? I’ll fill him in.”

  “No,” Colin mouthed and looked toward Laurel. Her smile widened a bit staring at him, but she let her hand slip from his.

  “It’s okay. I’ll give you two some time, but you better stay awake. I’ve missed those eyes.”

  He watched her walk out the door with her sister until the door clicked shut.

  “On a scale of one to ten, how’s the pain? And don’t BS with me, Colin. I know you.”

  “Probably a seven. What happened?”

  Cal dragged one of the chairs over and proceeded to explain the fever, the multiple times coding, the small stroke, and finally, the heart transplant. “You’re just waking up from it. It’s been a little more than twenty-four hours, and that’s not even the most shocking thing of all.”

  “What is?” Colin croaked. He felt nervous until Cal rolled his eyes and grinned. Despite sending the girls for some ice chips, Cal turned on the faucet and filled a cup for Colin to sip on.

  “She never left your side. When you first told me about her and how you felt, I for sure thought you were messing with me, and I really thought she was just going to run like the others. But she’s different. She only left because I made her. Colin, she’s special. Don’t let her slip away.”

  Colin’s eyes diverted to the back of the door, and all he wanted was for Laurel to walk inside the room. He wanted to hold her, to breathe in her soft scent, to finally tell her he loved her.

  “She’s coming back, dude. Just give her a moment. This has to be a shock to her as well. You didn’t see her when you coded. I thought we were going to have to sedate her.”

  As if on cue, Laurel and Skye walked in with cups of ice in their hands and whispering among themselves.

  “Cal, do you and Skye mind giving Laurel and me some alone time, please?” Colin heard Laurel reassure Skye that she would be okay and handed her the ice while he ignored the “take it easy” look Cal gave him. As soon as the two left the room, he reached for Laurel, and she nearly ran to the side of his bed.

  “God, I was so worried about you. You scared me half to death.” As much as she could touch Colin, hold him until he was better, Laurel planted kisses around his face.

  “I’m so sorry,” he started. His hands framed her soft face, and he drew her in for a kiss. He kissed her through the pain, but it was worth it. Laurel was worth it.

  “Don’t be –” Laurel began but Colin brought his finger to her mouth and she abruptly stopped speaking. As much as he could, he moved over and patted the space on the bed between him and the railing. Just enough room for Laurel to lie down next to him.

  “Please lie down next to me. I promise you won’t hurt me,” he added when Laurel looked nervous at the idea.

  As gently as possible, she climbed into the bed, and regardless of the budding pain, Colin lifted his right arm and she slid closer to him.

  “I should have taken better care of myself. I refused to listen to Cal numerous times and it all came crashing down. But if there’s one thing that never left my mind, it was you, Laurel. I don’t remember much while I was out of it, but there were times that I do remember being in pain and the only thing that I would think about is you. I love you, Laurel, and I know it’s only been a month, but I hope you feel –”

  Laurel sat up on her side and stared down at Colin with wonderment in her eyes. Her answer was immediate and with conviction. “I do, God I do. I love you too, Colin.”

  Their next kiss was brief. Passionate, heated, full of every ounce of love they each felt, yet brief, but only because Colin, in a move more daring, or completely in the dumbest one ever, pulled away from Laurel and blurted out his next words.

  “Marry me.”

  “What?”

  They looked at one another, neither one moving. Colin stared with apprehension, Laurel in shock.

  “I’m going to make this quick because the pain meds Cal gave me before he left the room are beginning to kick in, and they’re going to knock me out. I think I loved you from the moment I saw you. I had such fears that you were going to be like everyone else, and I so badly didn’t want you to be. And you made sure I knew that you weren’t. You, my sassy, smart, beautiful girl, are the best thing to come into my life, and I don’t want to go another day without you in it.”

  “But…”

  “And it can be a long engagement, but please don’t break my heart. I don’t think I can get another one.”

  “Was that a heart joke?” Laurel’s face was nearly neutral, but Colin saw the slight twitch in the corner of her mouth. Her face turned into a full-blown grin, and she nodded her head, her eyes bright with happy tears for a change.

  “Yes?”

  “Yes!”

  Colin once had a broken heart, so full of sharp pieces that nothing seemed possible until Laurel came into his life. Now here she was, making a home in it, and for that alone, Colin knew that as long as she was in his life, his heart would be absolutely full and whole.

  THE END

  About Morgan Campbell

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  Thank you

  I’d like to dedicate this story to my mama, who is a three-time cancer survivor and is currently battling stage 4 lung cancer, and to all the men and women who have battled with cancer and their families. Cancer is the 2nd leading cause of death in the United States. The number of deaths per year are as follows: 598,038 making the total deaths 21.7 percent.

  There’s also an underlying story mixed into this that hits home with me. Suicide, no matter what age, is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone, yet it affects so many of us, my family included.

  Each day, in the United States alone, there’s an average of over 3,041 suicide attempts made by young people in grades 9–12. The number of Americans who die by suicide is 44,965 each year. There are 13.8 deaths by suicide per 100,000 persons each year. Almost 500,000 people are treated in emergency rooms each year for self-inflected injuries. These are staggering statistics that I hope can be prevented. Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the US, accounting for more than 1% of all deaths with it being the second leading cause of death among people ages 15-24. Eight out of ten people considering suicide give some sign of their intentions.

  We can all help to prevent suicide. The Lifeline is one way, providing twenty-four hours, seven days a week free and confidential support for people in distress. It provides prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.


  The number for Lifeline is; tel:1-800-273-8255

  No suicide attempt should be dismissed or treated lightly!

  No matter the race or age of the person or how rich or poor they are, most people who die by suicide have a mental or emotional disorder. The most common underlying disorder is depression. Suicide victims suffer from major depression or bipolar (manic-depressive) disorder. That total is a staggering number at 30% to 70%. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

  This will connect you with a crisis center in your area.

  Love y’all so hard,

  Elle

  Prologue

  Ivy’s heart hammered against her chest. Her blood ran cold through her veins at the desperation in Luke’s tone as she beat against the bathroom door, praying he’d open up. “Dammit, let me in. Let’s talk about this,” she begged. Over her shoulder, she glared at the blond man who ruined their carefully constructed world. He shrugged one broad shoulder, seemingly unaffected by what was happening.

  A whimper came through, giving her a renewed sense of purpose, giving her hope. How the fuck had things gone from perfectly fine when she’d left home that morning to this…a complete shitshow, she wasn’t sure.

  “Everything’s fucked. I can’t face them, Ivy.” Luke’s voice sounded desperate.

  She pressed her palm to the door, leaning her forehead against the hard wood. “Luke, baby, we’ve gotten through tougher shit, we can get through this.”