Arcane Dropout 3

by Edmund Hughes

  “You just don’t get how relationships work,” said Toma. “It’s not about whether she would or whether he would. It’s about the way she talks about him and the way she looks at him.”

  “Lots of girls do the same thing with celebrities,” said Eliza. “They know they’ll never have a chance with them in real life. It’s just a fun fantasy.”

  “Kei is not a celebrity, he’s my brother!” said Toma. He slapped his hand down on the table and Lee could almost picture how the breakup had gone down.

  “I hate to be the one to point this out to you, but we have elemental class today,” he said. “Which Kei is currently the substitute teacher for.”

  Toma groaned and buried his head against his arms. “Who is down to go and get royally drunk after class? I feel like getting so cracked that I can’t see straight.”

  “I’ll come with, but I’m not getting drunk,” said Lee.

  “Eliza?” Toma raised a hopeful eyebrow at her.

  “I can’t,” she said. “I’m going shopping with a new friend.”

  “Ha, right,” said Toma. “As though you even have friends besides us.”

  “Okay, you’re in a toxic mood right now,” said Lee. “Cool your jets.”

  “For your information, Toma, she’s a very sweet girl who doesn’t get out much,” said Eliza. “With a great personality and a good sense of humor. Unlike some people.”

  Eliza turned to look in Tess’s general direction, and aside from the fact that she couldn’t see Tess, it looked as though they were sharing a wry moment. Lee smiled inwardly, happy that Tess had managed to cement a friendship, if not get her mind off the lich.

  “Just me and you then, Lee,” said Toma. “We can drink to the tragedy that is existence.”

  “You can drink to whatever you want. Just don’t start sobbing in the tavern.”

  Instructor Fujino wasn’t present in the lecture hall when Lee, Eliza, and Toma arrived for class. They found seats in the back row and waited along with the other initiates, conversation bubbling throughout the room.

  Kei arrived late, cigarette in hand, heedless of whatever restrictions and consequences might apply to him. He used a small fire spell to incinerate what remained of his forbidden cancer stick over the trash and then turned his attention to the students in the room.

  He had an authoritative air about him, even before he’d said anything. He leaned forward against the instructor’s desk, positioning his arms in a manner that emphasized the colorful linework of his arm tattoos, which were visible below his rolled-up sleeves.

  The room fell silent within less than a second of the silent instructor’s intensity.

  “We’ll be using one of the dueling chambers for today’s lesson,” said Kei.

  He turned and left the room. The initiates immediately began whispering amongst themselves as they followed.

  CHAPTER 24

  There was a single dueling chamber open in the spell range, the very highest one in the tower. Kei brought the class along the spiral staircase that led the way up. The chamber itself was spacious, dimly lit by curved, horizontal windows, and acoustically dampened.

  Lee watched as Kei grabbed a bag from along one of the walls and carried it to the center of the room. He waited for the initiates to fall silent again before rubbing his hands together and finally beginning the class in earnest.

  “I suspect the lesson I have to teach you today is somewhat tangential to what you’ve learned from Instructor Harper, or any of the other teachers here at Primhaven. It is also far more likely to save your life than anything you’ve learned in your time at this college.”

  He reached into his bag and pulled out a gun, the same black metal pistol Lee had seen him with a few nights earlier, sans the silencer.

  “This is a Glock 34, the nine-millimeter of choice for many tactical police forces in the western world,” said Kei. “The standard-capacity magazine holds seventeen rounds, each of which travels at 1500 feet per second. Don’t worry, the safety is on.”

  He held the weapon flat on his outstretched palm as he walked along the front of the class, giving each student an up-close view. Reactions varied from confusion, to curiosity, to, in some cases, outright disdain. Kei walked back over to his bag, putting the gun away only to pull out another in its place.

  “This,” he said, holding up a less-familiar gun with an odd tank attached to the handle, “is an Empire Vanquish 2.0. A paintball gun. Its hopper holds an impressive 100 rounds, each of which is totally nonlethal and fires at a comparatively slow 300 feet per second.”

  “Instructor.” Kristoff raised his hand, face plastered with a bored smile. “I believe most of us have learned the required spells to shield against guns already, or even how to disarm shooters. I’m curious to know if you intend to teach us something that we don’t already know?”

  Lee belted out a laugh and shook his head. He could see the gleam in Kei’s eye, and he was more than a little glad that it wasn’t directed toward him.

  “You are volunteering to help with the demonstration, then?” asked Kei. “Please, step forward, Initiate, er…”

  “Gusman,” said Kristoff. “My father is Olaf Gusman.”

  “Right, right,” said Kei. “Use your spells to stop me from shooting you. Easy enough, yes?”

  “I don’t see why it wouldn’t be,” said Kristoff. “I—”

  Kei opened fire, unloading four paintballs directly into the chest of Kristoff’s unfortunately bright-colored t-shirt. Kristoff screamed and shielded himself, whimpering as he flinched in anticipation of the next shot.

  “I… I wasn’t ready!” moaned Kristoff.

  “Oh, of course,” said Kei. “I forgot. The first rule of any fight to the death is to check and make sure your opponent is ready. How silly of me!”

  Kei walked back over to the bag and pulled out six other paintball guns. He moved throughout the class, passing them out at random. Toma ended up with one, much to his own surprise.

  “The lesson is simple,” said Kei. “If you have a paintball gun, you shoot. If you don’t have a paintball gun, you try not to be shot. We’ll see which side is left standing at the end of class.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to use eye protection with these things?” asked someone.

  “Oh, but you’re all great mages and wizards!” said Kei. “Surely you can protect your eyes with spells.”

  “What if I don’t want to get my clothes stained?” asked another initiate.

  “Better they be stained now with paint than years down the line with blood,” said Kei.

  He made his way to the dueling chamber’s door and sat down with his back against it, preventing anyone from leaving. The initiates favored each other with confused glances for a few seconds, until it became clear that as with the demonstration, there would be no obvious signal for them to begin.

  “Lee,” whispered Tess. “I don’t have much essence. I’m not sure if I can help you today.”

  “That’s fine,” he said, through gritted teeth.

  As soon as the first initiate with a paintball gun opened fire, the dueling chamber became a chaotic mess of shouts and stomping feet. Lee immediately realized that he was as likely to get hit in the crossfire by accident as he was by someone deliberately aiming at him.

  He kept a low profile, crouching and moving as unpredictably as he could. A few students let themselves take hits voluntarily, too overcome by the stress of the unexpected lesson to take it seriously.

  Others, Eliza included, had already put their spell shields up and were pouring arcane essence into creating the strongest magical defense they could. Spell shields, as the name suggested, were not designed to stop bullets. They could knock back an opponent attempting a physical attack, but bullets were tiny, focused, and pernicious. Several students took hits as their shields failed, letting paintballs through at odd angles or mistiming the release of their spells.

  Lee wasn’t lucky enough to have the option of attempting a spell. He k
ept his evasive maneuvers up until he bumped into someone with a paintball gun, putting himself in too close of a proximity for anyone with eyes to miss. As luck would have it, that person was Toma.

  “Sorry, Lee,” said Toma.

  “Same.”

  Lee ducked and hurled his shoulder forward, stepping past the barrel of the paintball gun. Toma tried to step backward, but Lee already had his arm and shoulder around Toma’s wrists. He twisted, stripping the gun from his friend’s hands, and then quickly fired a paintball into Toma’s leg.

  “Ow!” shouted Toma. “Cheater! You can’t take someone else’s gun.”

  “Oh?” called Kei. “Why not?”

  Toma’s face flushed a deep red, and Lee suddenly wished that he’d just let his friend shoot him and taken the loss. Only a few other unarmed students were left standing, and as soon as they’d each been tagged, Kei stood up and held his arms out.

  “I hope this lesson demonstrates the reality of modern conflict to you,” said Kei. “Your most challenging opponents will not stand at proper dueling distance and cast spells to your face. They will shoot you in the head, perhaps hidden and from a distance, perhaps up close while shaking your hand. Guns are not more dangerous than all spells, but they are more dangerous than most, and anyone can use them.”

  Kei lit a cigarette and gestured for the students with guns to pass them off to ones without.

  CHAPTER 25

  The lesson was repeated until everyone in the class had been tagged at least once. Lee wasn’t a fan of the red welt the paintball left on the skin over his pectoral muscle, but he still found the lesson to be one of the most valuable he’d received in his time at the college.

  Kei dismissed the class half an hour earlier than the usual time. Eliza came up to Lee as they were leaving, smiling and accompanied by a similarly happy Tess.

  “It’s okay, right?” asked Eliza. “For me and Tess to go shopping together? She explained how her clothes work, and it sounds like so much fun, even if I can’t see her wearing them.”

  “It’s totally fine,” said Lee. “I’m glad the two of you are having fun.”

  “So much fun,” whispered Tess. “This is exactly the sort of thing I needed, Lee.”

  He nodded. “Just be careful.”

  The two girls headed off, and Lee sought out Toma among the remaining initiates in the dueling chamber. He was about to head over and offer to buy the first round of beers as a peace offering, when Kei set a hand on his shoulder.

  “May we speak in private, Lee?” he asked.

  “Uh…” Lee caught Toma’s eye for a moment, noting his friend’s narrowed eyes. “Is it important?”

  “Very much so,” said Kei.

  Lee nodded, exiting the dueling chamber and following Kei back to the Elemental Tower. They went up to his room, Harper’s old room, which felt strange to enter now.

  “The lich has clearly been growing bolder,” said Kei. “I expect him to attack the college directly soon. Not today, but within the next few days. I will need your assistance, if you’re still willing.”

  “Of course,” said Lee. “I have new information, too. My ghost companion was a former Primhaven student. She’s pretty sure that the lich was once a man named William Lewis, a one-time instructor here.”

  “Interesting,” muttered Kei. “It fits with what little I know.”

  “He may be after an old journal, the research of a mage named Hornbell who studied tribal shamans in South America. It might still be here, at Primhaven. The question is where.”

  “The Archives, perhaps,” said Kei. “Though that seems too obvious. We’ll conduct a thorough search anyway.”

  “I also know how he became a lich,” said Lee. “He invoked the name of a demon known as Vexxianna and created a phylactery with part of his soul within it, along with her power.”

  “Yes, I suspected as much, though I did not know the name of the specific demon. Unfortunately, finding the phylactery may be an even more daunting task than finding this book you mentioned. We should focus on fighting the lich directly for now.”

  Kei crouched down by his bed and pulled out a steel lockbox half the size of a normal suitcase. He unlocked it with a key and opened it, revealing another pistol, slightly different in form compared to the one he’d shown the class.

  “My old gun,” said Kei. “It’s a Walther P99. If you’re going to be fighting alongside me, I would prefer for you to be properly equipped.”

  “I have a dagger,” said Lee. He realized how lame that sounded out loud, as he said it.

  “A gun will be far more effective. I’m surprised, given your status as a shinigami, that you don’t already have one. It’s dangerous to fight spirits in close quarters.”

  “It never made much sense for me back when I worked as a freelancer,” said Lee.

  Most of the specters and ghosts he banished had been located in residential areas, which didn’t take kindly to errant gunshots in the middle of the day. Had he been working in more remote areas, he would have considered it, but of course the specters in those areas were never near enough to the living to necessitate his services.

  “I will bring this to your dorm room and leave it under your bed,” said Kei. “Better if you aren’t carrying it during the day unless you’d like to attract the ire of the school’s faculty. Here’s the key.”

  “Thanks. Will this really help that much against the lich? I doubt it’s going to be susceptible to regular physical damage.”

  “Silver bullets,” said Kei. “Pick your targets carefully. They’re $35 apiece.”

  Lee noted the 16-round chamber and whistled as he did the math. “Yeah, no kidding.”

  Kei walked him out of the Elemental Tower. Toma was waiting for them as they stepped out the entrance, and a glance at his creased eyebrows was enough to tell Lee the sort of mood he was in.

  “I see you’ve also ditched me for my brother,” said Toma.

  “Toma, come on,” said Lee. “You know that’s not—”

  “What the fuck, Lee?” snapped Toma. “First you screw me over during class, and now this?”

  “Initiate Fujino,” said Kei. “Mind your tone.”

  “Shut the fuck up, Kei!”

  Toma surged forward, grabbing Kei’s shoulder. Kei ignored him, continuing to smoke the cigarette between his fingers. Lee grabbed Toma and started pulling him back.

  “Whoa,” he said. “Just calm down and—”

  Toma’s elbow connected with Lee’s chin in a blow that he felt through the roots of his teeth. Lee kept his grip, pulling Toma with him as they fell to the ground. He felt another blow land, a glancing punch that struck between his neck and shoulder.

  “Fuck you!” shouted Toma.

  “No, fuck you!”

  Lee rammed his forearm into Toma’s face and tried to bring his knee up into his stomach. Toma rolled to the side. Lee went with him, the two of them shifting closer together as their method of attack shifted to wrestling.

  Toma snarled and, for whatever reason, tried to bite Lee’s shoulder. Lee head-butted him in the nose. They both pulled back, flinging ineffectual punches into each other’s faces without any real regard for defense. A deep, booming shout came across the grass.

  “Hey!” called Head Wizard Odarin. “What’s going on here? Fighting is strictly prohibited on campus… I think? I should probably check with Mattis, but… hey! Did you hear me?”

  Conjuration bindings snapped into place on Lee’s wrists, and he felt himself being hoisted back to standing. Toma was similarly subdued. Lee winced as he saw his friend’s face and wondered about his own state. He knew he had at least a black eye, judging from the throbbing in that general area.

  “You’re an instructor!” Odarin shouted at Kei. “For God’s sake, why did you just stand there and let this happen?”

  Kei shrugged. “They’re best friends. The fight seemed necessary.”

  “That…” Odarin scratched his head. “Huh. Yeah, that does kind of mak
e sense. Well, we can’t just leave them to go about their business now, can we?”

  Kei was already walking away, unconcerned by the aftermath of the conflict he’d inadvertently birthed. Odarin scowled and glanced over Lee’s and Toma’s injuries.

  “Well,” he said. “Let’s get the two of you to the infirmary for the time being.”

  Lee and Toma followed Odarin through the Seruna Center and to the infirmary, only for all three of them to rediscover the fact that Nurse Susie was still on a leave of absence. Odarin had them sit down on adjacent beds while he rifled through the medical supplies, making a mess of almost everything he touched.

  “Fuck you,” said Lee.

  “Fuck you,” said Toma.

  Lee exhaled through his nose and looked at his friend. “Why did you attack me, anyway? It’s clearly your brother that you’re mad at.”

  “He would have kicked my ass,” said Toma.

  “I kicked your ass, too.”

  “Debatable.”

  Lee rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Toma. I get that you have some issues related to him. But come on, use your words next time, like a big boy.”

  “You just don’t get it,” said Toma. “I know it seems like I’m just jealous, or insecure, and sure, that’s part of it. But it’s more than that. Kei is the youngest of my older brothers.”

  “The youngest? How old is the oldest?”

  “Uh, forty… five? Six?”

  “Wow. So, was that all with the same mom, or did your dad remarry, or—”

  “We have different moms. Anyway, my point is that Kei was like… the closest I ever had to an actual brother. We just grew more distant the older we got, though. Now, having him here, as a teacher at my school, it’s like a nightmare. Like one of those fucked-up wishes from a monkey paw. I wish my brother was at Primhaven, too.”

  Lee sort of understood where Toma was coming from. He at least felt a little bad about how quickly Kei had recognized him as a mystic and extended his respect, knowing now how it might have been perceived from Toma’s perspective.