Remembrance of the Past

by Lory Lilian

  “That is reason for worry, indeed. Have you tried to discover her whereabouts? With whom is she on tour?”

  Bingley waved his hand. “Oh, I did contact her friends’ families; they all said she was most likely on a ship and would send me a note as soon as she could. I do not want to disturb you with Caroline’s silliness. Let us have another drink, shall we? Then I will go and see if Jane needs my assistance.”

  “Bingley, I do not think you should drink more. I do agree with your other idea, though. I think you should go to your wife. Surely, her company will be more comforting than mine right now. We can talk more after dinner.”

  “Yes, you are right; I have barely had time to speak privately with my wife in the past few days, you know? Can you imagine that?” Bingley walked to the door without waiting for Darcy’s answer.

  “And we will have to go through this madness again when we leave.”

  Darcy could not restrain his laugh. “My friend, let us not worry about your departure right now. I am sure we will come up with a solution by then. Let me direct you to your rooms, shall we?”

  Downstairs and along the halls, Bingley progressed, silently wondering about his rooms, as he had never visited that wing of the house before. They finally stopped, and Darcy shook his hand.

  “Go rest, my friend. This wing is only for you and your wife—nobody will disturb you here.”

  “I have never been in this wing before,” Bingley said.

  “Well, you have never been married and in need of complete privacy before,” Darcy smiled mischievously. “Oh, and I forgot to mention: as you are all so tired, we will have a late dinner tonight. So you have at least three hours to rest and to…speak privately with your wife. If you need something, you will have to ring the bell.”

  Bingley stared at him silently; just before Darcy turned to leave, he finally managed to reply.

  “Darcy? I am forever in your debt, my friend!”

  “Go to your wife, Bingley.” As I intend to go to mine.

  ***

  Elizabeth was exhausted but satisfied. Each member of the party was settled properly, and now she lingered to talk a few minutes with Jane. Elizabeth felt a little worried as her sister looked pale and tired, but Jane blamed the trip and assured her sister that everything else was fine. Elizabeth did not insist as she could easily imagine how difficult the journey must have been. She inquired about how Jane felt as a married woman, and was content to see happiness lighting her sister’s blue eyes; Jane’s eyes always spoke more eloquently than her shy voice.

  “Oh Lizzy, if I dare tell you…I am so happy—I could not imagine a better husband than Charles.”

  Surely, he cannot compare with my husband, was the first thought that crossed Elizabeth’s mind, but she gave her sister the proper answer.

  “I am very happy for you. I was always certain Mr. Bingley was worthy of your good heart.”

  “Lizzy, he is the good and kind one—and so patient. I know mother annoys him sometimes, but he bears everything with so much civility. Do you know he purchased this carriage for me? He said he wanted me to travel as a princess, and the carriage is indeed wonderful.”

  “It is wonderful but not large enough for five people for such a long distance and on winter roads.”

  “I know, but Mama insisted, and I begged Charles to agree. I know he was displeased, and I had no time to talk to him privately these two days. He was so silent all the time. I am so afraid he is upset with me.”

  Jane was tearful, and Elizabeth was half-worried, half-amused.

  “Dearest, I have no right to give you any advice, as you are my elder and wiser sister, but you should not allow yourself to be persuaded by Mama’s demands, risking the displeasure of your husband.”

  “I know…I know. But it is so hard to refuse Mama. If we were only a little further away…”

  Elizabeth kissed her sister’s cheeks. “My sweet Jane, let me assure you that, here in these rooms, you will be far away from everyone. Nobody will disturb you, and you can spend all the time you want in only your husband’s company. I dare say, Mr. Bingley will enjoy that very much.”

  Jane laughed tearfully. “That sounds tempting though not easy to do. We cannot possibly isolate ourselves here, hiding from our family. After all, we are here to spend Christmas together.”

  “That is true, dearest. However, as you are so fatigued, it is very likely that you will suffer some slight headaches and will want to rest from time to time; also, if there are evenings you want to retire earlier or mornings you wake later, I am sure everyone will understand. And, in cases like these, it will be Mr. Bingley’s duty as a loving husband to stay by your side. Do you not agree?”

  “Lizzy! Are you teaching me to dissemble?”

  “I am teaching you to do everything possible to enjoy your husband’s company, my dear sister.”

  A moment later Mr. Bingley entered the room; he remained still, staring at his wife, almost oblivious to Elizabeth’s presence. Jane blushed, her eyes fixed on those of her husband. Elizabeth was certain that, were Mr. Bingley indeed upset with Jane, he would quickly forgive her.

  ***

  It was already two o’clock in the afternoon, and Elizabeth wondered where her husband was hiding. However, before going in search of him, she decided to inquire after Cassandra, as she was certain the journey had not been easy for her either. To her pleasant surprise, Cassandra was resting, but she appeared fully recovered.

  “You look beautiful, Elizabeth,” Cassandra said. “I imagine you are enjoying your marriage?”

  “You know I am enjoying my marriage, Cassandra; however, I did not come to speak of my marriage, but of you. How are you feeling? I am happy to see you so well recovered.”

  “Well, you have already answered your questions. I am here, well and fully recovered.”

  “But how are you feeling?”

  “How am I feeling about what, Elizabeth? Ask me what you want to know; do not play at politeness with me.”

  “If you do not play at rudeness with me, your ladyship, as I am not so easily impressed.” Elizabeth playfully reprimanded Cassandra, never losing her smile.

  “Please forgive me. I did not mean to be rude or disrespectful.”

  “Fine; be as you want. As long as you are well, I will not insist further. I surely do not want to force your confidence, just please tell me if I can help you in any way.”

  She prepared to leave, but Cassandra called her.

  “Elizabeth, do you know if he will come for Christmas?”

  “We do not know for certain. William received a letter a couple of weeks ago, and the colonel expressed his wishes to be with us, but his plans were not fixed at that time.”

  “He sent me no word—not a note, nothing.”

  “But did you…did you have any understanding? Did he promise he would write or anything?”

  “No, of course not. I mean…I promised to give him an answer upon his return. But I do not know when that will happen or whether he will still want my answer by then.”

  “And do you have an answer?” Cassandra nodded silently. “I see.”

  “Elizabeth, may I ask you a favour? I know I am being childish, but can you please ask Darcy if he knows anything? Perhaps David mentioned something to him. I know it is silly to ask you—

  “Cassandra, I am happy to see you childish about this,” she replied, and Cassandra blushed like a young girl.

  “I will go and fetch William, and I will gather every piece of information from him before returning to tell you.” They both sounded like young girls sharing a secret and laughed at their silliness.

  “I will wait for you—assuming Darcy allows you to return any time soon. By the way, did he lock you in your room as I anticipated?” Elizabeth’s cheeks turned crimson.

  As she was walking toward the door, Elizabeth cast a quick mischievous glance at Cassandra.

  “No, there was no need lock me in. I was more than pleased to stay inside of my own free will
!”

  A completely astonished Cassandra stared at her until Elizabeth exited the room; only then, did her ladyship recover and burst out laughing. “Mrs. Darcy, you are absolutely shameless,” she said, and she could hear Elizabeth’s laughter from the doorway.

  ***

  Christmas was only two days away, and Pemberley was more animated than ever. The ladies spent their days in preparation and decorating while the gentlemen usually found occupation in the library. Mrs. Bennet never ceased to marvel at the courses and dishes, just as she never ceased to wonder at the greatness of the house. It was entirely fortunate that the bustle of daily activity seemed to be fatiguing for Mrs. Bennet, and she usually retired quite early after dinner, more so as she was quite content with her rooms and both maids who served her. She was so pleased with her son-in-law’s treatment that she even dared to embrace him one evening when he inquired whether everything was to her liking.

  Mr. Bennet would also retire early each evening after dinner—not to his room, but to the library; his only complaint was that he did not have time enough to enjoy all the treasures there. Mr. Bennet was content, though, as Darcy insisted that his father-in-law return to Pemberley whenever he wanted. He also offered to lend him any book he would like to take home to Longbourn.

  Both Mr. and Mrs. Bennet were genuinely pleased with Elizabeth’s choice of a husband, though for entirely different reasons.

  For the Gardiners, the time spent at Pemberley was a wonderful opportunity, and they were equally grateful and delighted. They passed the days joining those at Pemberley or visiting friends and relatives in Lambton. Mrs. Gardiner was prouder than ever as she learned the favourable opinion of Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy in the neighbourhood. She was as satisfied with her niece’s choice of a husband as she was with Darcy’s choice of a wife; she hoped Lady Anne would have been pleased, too.

  A recently discovered enjoyment for the newlywed couples and the younger members of the party was long sleigh rides around Pemberley’s grounds. Usually there were three or four sleighs equipped with blankets to keep the riders warm—each of the conveyances spacious enough to accommodate at least four people. However, the Darcy and Bingley couples always took a separate sleigh each—at which Georgiana, Kitty and even Mary chuckled meaningfully. The other sleigh was for the three girls and Cassandra who joined them occasionally; the fourth was for the Gardiners and their children. Sometimes, Mr. Darcy was in the mood for an extended ride after dinner, and those times the only ones inclined to accompany him were his wife and the Bingleys—so, from time to time, two sleighs could be seen skimming along the snowy paths in the moonlight.

  “I say, Bingley, if you are decided to find an estate here in Derbyshire, I would be happy to assist you,” said Darcy during dinner. Their voices were low, so the others could barely hear them.

  “Would you, Darcy? I mean…if I am able to convince Jane. I know she is happy here, but I wonder if she would agree to move so far from her family.”

  “Well, Bingley, you know best. On the other hand, she would be moving further from some members of her family and closer to her favourite sister—which I dare say would be an advantage.”

  “An advantage indeed,” cried Bingley and everybody turned to look at him. Darcy laughed.

  “Very well, my friend; in a fortnight we can start looking for an adequate place for you. It might take a few months to find it and accommodate it properly.”

  “A few months? Oh…but I will be back in Hertfordshire by then.”

  “Why is that? Do you have fixed plans? You are welcome to remain at Pemberley for as long as you need.”

  “No, I do not have any fixed plans. Perhaps Jane—I am not sure. Staying at Pemberley, you say? But I do not want to intrude. I know you like your privacy.”

  “That is nonsense. You see for yourself that Pemberley affords complete privacy to both our families.”

  “Yes, I noticed that, Darcy. Oh, that would be the best arrangement ever—to find an estate here and learn from you how to manage it. Jane would be so proud! But damn—what about the carriage? How will my in-laws return to Hertfordshire?” Darcy rolled his eyes in exasperation.

  Bingley did not miss his friend’s gesture and felt suddenly embarrassed. “I am absurd, am I not? Who cares about the carriage? They can have it for good. I dare hope you will loan me one until I am able to purchase another.”

  “Of course I will, Bingley—even two carriages if you need them. And no, you are not absurd; you only worry about insignificant details rather than focusing upon what is truly important to you.”

  “You are right, of course, Darcy. I will speak to Jane this evening and—

  A sudden din of voices from the main hall interrupted him. Before Darcy could identify the source of the disturbance, the door opened, and Colonel Fitzwilliam burst into the room.

  Darcy and Georgiana rushed from their places to greet him; he looked well, though obviously tired and half frozen, but as joyful as ever. Elizabeth smiled at him and immediately glanced at Cassandra. Her cheeks were crimson, and her eyes fixed upon the colonel’s face; Elizabeth wondered whether her ladyship was still breathing.

  “Cousin, what an extraordinary surprise! Come and join us; you look as though you need a glass of brandy.”

  “I intended to surprise you, Darcy, but I am afraid the surprise is even greater than I intended. I left my regiment together with my friend Colonel Thomason and his family as they planned to reach London before Christmas, but their carriage had an accident ten miles back; we barely managed to ride a few more miles, and I am asking your assistance to host them here for the night. Please forgive me, I know I have no right to impose, it is just that—

  Elizabeth approached him with a warm smile. He kissed her hand and apologised again while Elizabeth, with a short glance at her husband, continued.

  “Surely you must not apologise for bringing friends, especially as they were in such a dangerous situation. Please invite them in, and we will have their rooms ready in no time.”

  A few minutes later, Pemberley’s dining room was filled with Colonel Thomason—a handsome gentleman in his late thirties—his wife and his two sisters. They were all embarrassed by the intrusion, but the colonel made the introductions with a perfect mix of politeness and friendliness. If Darcy seemed rather restrained in his expression, Elizabeth’s warm manners and genuine welcome managed to dissipate the new guests’ tension and embarrassment. Half an hour later, the newly arrived were shown to their rooms to refresh and prepare for dinner. The colonel joined them after he assured the others in the room that he would return as soon as possible.

  As soon as they left the room, opinions about the new acquaintances were shared. Elizabeth looked at her husband and then at Cassandra, who was now ghostly pale; her eyes stared at the table while her hands were entwined to stop their trembling, and she appeared oblivious to everything around her. The colonel had not greeted her beyond the strictest civility.

  “Thank you, my love,” Darcy whispered to Elizabeth and she smiled back at him.

  “You are quite welcome, though I do not know what for.”

  “For the way you handled this awkward situation; you never cease to amaze me. It is as though you always know what to do and what to say to make people comfortable.”

  “Well, I had little else to do. They seem such agreeable people—and even if they were not, how could we possibly leave them outside to freeze, especially as they are the colonel’s friends.”

  “No, of course not—but still…”

  “However, I am not sure what I can do to make you feel comfortable, as you are clearly not in the best disposition,” she teased him.

  “Well, I could tell you what you might do, but it is not possible with a thousand people in the house,” he burst out in frustration, and she laughed heartily.

  “You are not only highly improper, but also quite disagreeable and haughty, dear sir.”

  “I am glad you are so amused, because I really am not. I
did understand David’s reasons, but really—the last thing I needed was a new party of people here. And they did not even say clearly when they would leave! Their carriage could be fixed in two weeks or so; can you imagine that?”

  Elizabeth placed a quick kiss on his chin. “Let us hope that will not be the case, my love.”

  The colonel’s voice called out to make his presence known. Elizabeth blushed slightly.

  “Mrs. Darcy, thank you for your hospitality. I am grateful to you, as are my friends.”

  “I am glad I could be of some help, sir. I hope they will be comfortable in their rooms.”

  “I am sure they will, but, Darcy, may I have a word with you?”

  The colonel looked positively distressed and embarrassed as he spoke animatedly.

  “I know I am already being impertinent with my demands, and I would never dare if it were not Christmas in only two days…What I mean is…Darcy, I beg you to loan them one of your carriages to take them to London tomorrow morning. I know I am asking too much, but—

  Elizabeth could hardly hold back her peals of laughter as she saw Darcy’s face light with relief.

  “Say no more, David! Of course, I will give them a carriage; in fact, I will loan them my best, largest one as we will not need it for the time being. I will send my coachman with you, and he can bring it back. Is that arrangement satisfactory, do you think?”

  “Darcy, you are simply the best man,” the colonel shook his hand. “I will go and inform Thomason. The poor fellow did not dare ask you such a favour. He will be so relieved!”

  He left instantly, so he did not hear Darcy mumbling. “Not more relieved than I am.”

  ***

  An hour later, the entire party was assembled in the dining room again. Colonel Thomason seemed as amiable and pleasant as Colonel Fitzwilliam, and his wife and sisters were voluble, amusing and quite pretty. Mrs. Bennet did not forget to mention she had a daughter married to an officer, but Mr. Bingley quickly changed the subject so Wickham’s name was avoided. Then there were questions about the balls in the North, and the young Misses Thomason seemed as willing to talk about dancing and officers as were Kitty and Mrs. Bennet.