The Mountain Shadow

by Gregory David Roberts

  His equanimity capsized in the cardroom-washroom, and he swore oaths against stupidity and cursed the malignantly uninformed.

  The devotees beyond the curtain could hear his tirades and cursing, but the thin sheet was enough to preserve the dignity that never failed when Idriss was in public, and the heir to their eyes.

  It was a peaceful enough place: an open prison. There was no authority, and no walls but those you had to climb inside. Yet the chains that bound the devotees who lived with Idriss were no less severe.

  They loved him, and couldn’t leave him without weeping distress. Mind you, he was an easy man to love.

  ‘Non-evolutionary knowledge,’ he said, in one of our rare, undisturbed hours, two weeks after I’d arrived on the mountain. ‘Summarise.’

  ‘Again, Idriss?’

  ‘Again, impudent intellect,’ he said, leaning close so that I could relight his joint. ‘Knowledge isn’t knowledge, until the truth of it is self-evident in the sharing. Again.’

  ‘Okay, in a world where apples fall from trees, it’s sufficient evolutionary knowledge to step out of the way from falling apples, or to catch one, or pick one up off the ground and eat it. All the other stuff we know, like the rate at which it falls, and the calculations that allow us to land a craft on Mars, is non-evolutionary. Not required, for evolutionary purposes. So, why do we have it? And what’s it for? Is that a fair summary?’

  ‘C-plus. You left out that if you extrapolate all the branches of non-evolutionary knowledge, all the sciences, arts and philosophy to their logical extremes, you get knowledge about how everything does everything.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘Well, in itself, nothing at all. At the moment, for example, based on our record here on Earth, the sciences and philosophies are giving us the means to annihilate ourselves, and most of the other species with us. So, in itself, all our knowledge means nothing. But, combined with our capacity to override our animal nature, and to express our uniquely human nature, which is a very nice nature, as it happens, it is everything.’

  ‘I’m not seeing it.’

  ‘You’re looking right at it, but you’re not seeing it. All animals have an animal nature. We have an animal nature that’s pretty close to that of bonobos, I’m glad to say, but just like bonobos do, we act like chimps when we’re under extreme stress.’

  ‘And that’s our animal nature?’

  ‘Pretty much. But unlike chimps and bonobos, we don’t always have to do that. We have the capacity to modify the way we behave. A chimp, is a chimp, is a chimp. But a human being can be anything that he or she wants to be.’

  ‘How, exactly?’

  ‘When we express our truly human nature, we create humane-human things that don’t exist in the animal world. Things like democracy, and justice. There’s no Democratic Front of Chimpanzees. There’s no Court of Justice for lions and zebras.’

  ‘I guess not, but –’

  ‘We humans, uniquely, can shape our behaviour with ideas, and feelings, and devotion and art. Things that come from nowhere else but our humanity. We make ourselves, don’t you understand?’

  ‘There’s plenty of animal nature on display, Idriss,’ I said. ‘I’ve put some of it on display myself.’

  ‘Of course, our animal nature expresses itself very frequently, and not always pleasantly. Most of the bad news, anywhere, caused by man, is our animal nature, expressing itself without constraint. But the stuff in the arts pages and the science pages of the same newspaper, has more to do with our humane-human nature.’

  ‘I don’t see a lot of good, where I work.’

  ‘We can be anything we want to be, including angels. The best that we can do, when we’re determined to do well by one another, is unmatched in the natural world. And when our humane-human selves release our minds from vanity, and greed, we will not only achieve miracles, we’ll be the miracles that we’re destined to be.’

  It was a long speech, and as with many of his longer speeches, he ended it with a question.

  ‘What is your understanding of the difference between Fate and Destiny?’

  Fate, Karla once said, and Destiny, his Twin Sister.

  ‘I just can’t live with the notion that we’re not in control of our own destiny, and that Fate can play with us, like so many toy soldiers.’

  ‘Fate doesn’t play with us,’ Idriss said, finishing a joint. ‘Fate responds to us.’

  ‘How?’

  He laughed.

  It was a day so bright, immaculate heaven so blue, that we were both wearing sunglasses. He couldn’t see my eyes, and I couldn’t see his. It helped, because very often, when I stared into his leaf-brown eyes long enough, I fell like a kid into a creek, and had to think fast to catch up, when a question shook me from the stream.

  The students and devotees talked and laughed in the shade, all the chores done for the day. The sky seemed to hover much higher than it usually did, as if there was more space and light.

  ‘You want to know how Fate works, because you want to fight with Fate, isn’t it?’ Idriss asked. ‘Your instinct is to fight, if you feel yourself under threat. You think that Fate is fighting with you, and you want to gain an advantage in the struggle. Am I right?’

  ‘I’d like to win in a fair fight, but I get the feeling that Fate cheats.’

  ‘And how does Fate cheat?’

  ‘I think Fate and Time have a thing going on. They’re partners in crime.’

  ‘Definitely,’ he laughed. ‘Fate is another name for Karma, which is another name for Time, which is another name for Love. All of them are names for a tendency field, which permeates the universe. In fact, it’s not too much to say that it is the universe.’

  ‘A tendency field, Idriss?’

  ‘A tendency field.’

  ‘What’s it made of, this tendency field?’

  ‘Dark energy, probably, but it’s not what it’s made of that counts. It’s what it is that matters, just as all the atoms that your body is made of are not what you are.’

  ‘Okay, a dark energy tendency field,’ I said, trying to follow. ‘And what does it do?’

  ‘The tendency field is what drives the movement toward complexity, and it has done so since the singularity. In that sense, it is the universe. When conscious self-awareness occurs, emerging from sufficient complexity, a link is established between the tendency field and each individual consciousness that engages with it.’

  ‘What kind of a link?’

  ‘The tendency field is what responds to our instinct for the Divine. We can’t know the Divine, directly. We can’t directly know the Source of this universe, and its tendency field, and all the other infinite universes like this one, infinitely expanding like flowers and shrivelling again to nothing, and blooming again, in a garden of eternal creation, somewhere in the mind of God. We can’t know that. We don’t even know all there is to know about our own universe, let alone the infinite multiverse, or the Divine that created it. But we can know the tendency field very directly, any time we want.’

  ‘How?’

  Idriss laughed again, and lit another joint.

  ‘Isn’t it your turn to talk?’

  He mocked me gently at least once in every talk: to keep me on my game, perhaps, or to provoke me into a revelation. Every guru, even those who tell you there are no gurus, is an excellent psychologist, skilled in the provocation of truth.

  ‘I do interrupt a lot, Idriss, and I’m sorry, but only when I don’t understand. Right now, I got it. Please, go ahead.’

  ‘Very well,’ he said, relaxing again with his feet tucked up beneath him in the canvas chair. ‘Let’s do this thing. At the Big Bang, some characteristics were imparted to the born universe. Space, for example, and time, and matter, and gravitation, all examples of characteristics imparted to the universe by the Big Bang. And the tendency field,
which drives the tendency toward complexity, was another of the characteristics imparted at the Big Bang. I also want to say that the set of positive characteristics was imparted to every particle of matter, as well. You’re with me so far?’

  ‘Space, time, matter, gravitation, classical physics, particle physics, tendency field, positive characteristics, all imparted in the Birth-Bang.’

  ‘Yes,’ he chuckled. ‘Concisely put. The tendency field operates on a very simple semi-Boolean program – If This, Then That – which runs everything, everywhere. The basic algorithm, if this happens, then that happens, runs everything, including entropy. If it happens that a fully self-aware consciousness arises, then the connection to the tendency field happens.’

  ‘Doesn’t entropy run counter to complexity?’

  ‘No. Entropy runs counter to order. And anyway, infinite entropy only applies in a closed system. And with black holes in our universe, leading who knows where, this isn’t a closed system.’

  ‘Sorry to go back. You mean, no matter what you do in life, good or bad, you can always connect to this tendency field?’

  ‘If you get in tune with the tendency field, through expanding and exploring the set of positive characteristics within yourself, the tendency field responds with constant energy, and affirmations. If you work against the tendency field, by being negative, unfair, unloving, and unconscious of the truth, you weaken your connection to the tendency field, and you experience existential dread, no matter how rich or famous or powerful you are.’

  ‘Existential calm, instead of dread? Is that what you’re saying?’

  ‘If you remain connected to the tendency field, you have serenity. Life is connection, the world is connection, and both are always impoverished by disconnection.’

  ‘Just about everyone I know, outside of my close friends, has some kind of existential dread. Isn’t it a part of the human condition?’

  ‘Nothing is a part of the human condition, but our common humanity. A few hundred of us we were, when we began. A few hundred, with no claws or savage teeth but those we cut from the predators that tried to prey upon us. We learned, through cooperation and love, to fear no creature, and no place on land or sea. We are magnificent, and we are malignant. But we can be anything we want ourselves to be, from killers of neighbours, to saviours of distant neighbours in our galaxy. We can shape our destiny. We have the tools. We can –’

  A commotion among the students drew the holy man’s attention. We turned to see that Naveen and Diva had arrived on the mountain. They were talking with the small crowd.

  ‘What a pretty girl,’ Idriss said quietly. ‘Do you know her?’

  ‘Her name’s Divya Devnani, but I suggest that you call her Diva.’

  ‘Is her father Mukesh Devnani, the industrialist?’

  ‘The same.’

  ‘Then she must be in trouble. Introduce me, please.’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  I made the introductions. When Idriss took Diva by the hand and led her to the comfortable deckchair I’d vacated, I walked Naveen to sit with me on the log where Rannveig sat with me, weeks before, talking crime and punishment.

  Naveen opened the discussion with crime, and punishment.

  ‘Concannon’s moving his dope gig around,’ he said when we sat down. ‘It’s a moveable beast, and hard to pin down, but I’m starting to get a line on him. And there’s a contract out on Ranjit.’

  ‘You don’t say. How much is it?’

  Naveen looked at me, all straight-arrow detective.

  ‘Why do you want to know?’

  ‘Just curious,’ I said, smiling. ‘If there’s a pot, I’ve got some friends who’d like to throw a few bucks in.’

  ‘Matter of fact, there is,’ he smiled. ‘Legend has it, a local contractor and a local politician were trying to outbid each other to have him killed, but then joined forces, to double the pot.’

  ‘That should keep him out of Bombay for a while. Check with anyone who knows Goa, if you can. I’ve got some friends from the Company in Delhi. I’ll ask around, and see if he’s hiding there.’

  ‘Hell, yeah. On another front, there were two fights between Sanjay Company and Scorpion guys in Colaba last week. Shots fired. Two shops wrecked. That little war the Scorpions started at Leo’s got hotter. One of their houses on Marine Lines was burned down. In retaliation, the newspapers say. A female nurse died in the fire. There’s a helluva racket in the press. Sanjay was detained, but they let him go. Lack of evidence.’

  I’d been in that house. I knew that Vishnu’s wife was ill. That’s why a nurse was in the mansion; a nurse, who died. I knew that Vishnu wouldn’t stop until the fire was burning in front of Sanjay’s eyes.

  ‘Oh, and your friend Abdullah is back,’ Naveen added. ‘He said that he’ll meet you, when you get off the mountain. But he said to stay here, at least another week.’

  ‘Another week?’

  ‘That’s what he said.’

  ‘Damn, that was a news report. Thanks for coming up here, to tell me.’

  ‘Actually,’ he said, smiling, ‘we came up here with a friend of yours.’

  I searched his eyes. He nodded.

  ‘Where is she?’

  ‘In that second cave, over there. She asked me to give her a few minutes before telling you, and nobody says no to Karla!’

  Chapter Forty-Five

  I ran across the slippery white stones, stopping before the entrance to the cave. I glimpsed inside. She was sitting on a wooden stool, examining a silver figurine of the Goddess Lakshmi resting in her palm.

  I stood in the entrance to the cave, facing the wind as she’d done, the first time I’d seen her on the mountain.

  ‘Tell me a joke, Karla.’

  She turned slowly to look at me. From the corner of my eye, I could see that she was smiling.

  ‘So,’ I asked, ‘you got a joke, or don’t you?’

  ‘Okay. Why do cops call informers two-slappers?’

  ‘Three weeks I haven’t seen you, and you give me cop jokes?’

  ‘It’s sixteen days and eight hours. You want a joke, or don’t you?’

  ‘Okay. Why do cops call informers two-slappers?’

  ‘Because you gotta hit them once, to start them talking, and hit them again, to shut them up.’

  ‘Come here,’ I said.

  She kissed me, arms around my neck, legs stretched to toes, her body pressed to mine like two trees grown as one.

  ‘I’m so glad to see you,’ I said. ‘What’s with the ten minutes Naveen had to stall me?’

  ‘I was a little hot from the climb, and I wanted to look cool. For you.’

  ‘Let’s go someplace.’

  I took Karla to Silvano’s Point, where we sat on stony grass with a wide view of the trees below. A breeze hit the cliff in waves, rolling up from the valley in gusts of warm air. Trees on the cliff-edge swayed, sprinkling feathered shade.

  ‘Tell me everything,’ she said.

  ‘That’s funny. I was just going to ask you the same thing.’

  ‘No, you go first.’

  ‘There’s not much to report. It’s generally pretty quiet. It’s kind of like a theme park, up here, for people who like housework. They’re big on chores.’

  ‘How’s that working out?’

  ‘Okay. I prefer chores to rules.’

  ‘Thanks for staying, Shantaram. I love you for it. I know it’s not where you wanted to be.’

  She hadn’t explained why she wanted me out of the city, and I didn’t ask her. I was just glad that she was with me.

  ‘It’s never boring, though. A lot of people come up to see Idriss, and only stay for an hour or two.’

  ‘What kind of people?’

  She relaxed, leaning on her palms, and smiling happily in the sunlight.

  ‘T
here was a politician up here a couple of days ago. He had an O.K. Corral of guns and bodyguards. He wanted advice. Idriss told him to give up his bodyguards, and armoured cars, and walk among the people in a simple shirt, trousers and sandals.’

  ‘What did the politician say?’

  ‘The politician said that if he did that, he’d be murdered. There’s your problem, Idriss said. Go and solve it.’

  ‘I love that guy,’ she said. ‘He should do stand-up.’

  ‘And half a dozen Shiva sadhus came and stayed. They preferred their oxygen smoked, argued with Idriss day and night, and started waving their Shiva tridents over their heads, threatening to kill everybody. In the end, Silvano and I had to handle it.’

  ‘With Silvano’s rifle?’

  ‘Of course not. You can’t shoot holy men. We paid them to leave.’

  ‘Smart move. How’s it been, with Silvano?’

  ‘Great. He’s a good guy.’

  ‘I knew you’d like him, because he’s a lot like you.’

  ‘Like me?’

  ‘Oh, yeah.’

  I thought about it, but not for long.

  ‘I like him. I’d like him on our team.’

  ‘Our team? We’ve got a team?’

  ‘I’ve been giving it some thought. I’ve been thinking we could –’

  ‘Let’s talk about that later,’ she said. ‘How’s it going with Idriss?’

  I wanted to talk about us, and what we were going to do together in the Island City, or away from it. I wanted to talk about us, and I wanted to kiss her.

  ‘I’d rather talk about us,’ I smiled.

  ‘How’s it going with Idriss?’ she repeated.

  ‘Idriss . . . is pretty cool, I gotta admit.’

  ‘Has he opened any doors for you?’

  A big question, and a funny one at that: I spent most of my life closing doors, and doing everything I could to keep them closed. There was too much of the past that I didn’t want to remember.

  ‘Doors in the mind, certainly,’ I said. ‘But if you mean, am I a transformed man? No, it’s still me.’

  She looked out at the view: the valley and the spired village, shimmering in the distance.