Fixit Adventures Anthology

by Erik Schubach

  I hated that my voice sounded like I was pleading when I blurted, “They're trying to kidnap Glitch!”

  The man blurted, “She's refusing to turn over government property, and the pingers they... they attacked.”

  I snarled back, “He's not property, he's family!” She looked at me, and I shrugged, looking up at her sheepishly.

  She turned and asked in a dangerously calm tone, “And why did the pingers attack?” I think she knew the answer and I was suddenly afraid of how my friends had reacted.

  The man stood straighter and said, “That's not supposed to be possible with the three laws of robotics.”

  She exhaled and asked again in that impassively calm tone, “And why did the pingers attack?”

  He narrowed his eyes at Glitch who was peering out from behind me. “I went to arrest the dirter for resisting sanctioned orders from the Capitol. And when I grabbed her, the recalled unit attacked me, shocked me.”

  It was silent for a moment and Glitched looked at Vashon then slid back behind me with a low two toned squeal that sounded an awful lot like, “Uh oh.”

  She started calmly again. “You... grabbed her?”

  He didn't look as superior now, as he started to sense that my girl may not have been as calm as she sounded. She asked him, “Did you bother to call it in for instructions first, when she refused to hand her friend over?”

  He tried to argue, “It's just a hunk of outdated equipment.”

  I poked my head around Vash and defended, “He's not equipment!”

  My Amazonian ranger turned to me and gave me an expectant look. I shrank down, blushed, then locked my lips and threw the key away. This got a slight smile and a twinkle in her eyes. Then she schooled her face and turned back and asked, “What did you expect her friends to do when you grabbed her? Sit idly by?”

  He reaffirmed, “They're just machines, they're not supposed to...”

  She cut him off. “Vega Hasher here is the most successful woman that pinger maintenance has ever had in its ranks here dirtside, her methods and her pingers are the only reason this Agri-Grid has never missed a quota. No other grid in the history of Prime can say that.”

  Then her tone cooled to the sub zero of the surface of a comet. “And that is because Miss Hasher and her friends here are the hardest working group on the surface of the planet. That alone should give her some leeway and respect in your eyes, as she and a handful of other like her dirtside keep our entire population alive with the foodstuffs they produce.”

  The man swallowed then offered weakly, “But we have... orders. Direct from the Director of Sciences of New Terra herself.”

  Vash put a hand out and snapped her fingers, making an impatient gesture. I tried not to smile, I knew damn well she could have called the orders up in her heads up display, but she didn't.

  The other female ranger stepped up quickly, pulling an iso-pad from her hip, and tapped the screen, pulling the orders up and handing it to my girl. She looked it over and her brow furrowed, she looked as though she had just licked one of the lemons they grow in the orchard district in Agri-Grid A3 a couple hundred miles east of here.

  The woman said deferentially, pointing her finger at the bottom of the pad, “The request was approved by Lady Peregrine herself ma'am.”

  This seemed to cause my ranger some distress, and she shifted her weight from leg to leg. Then she turned to me, glancing between me, Glitch, and the pad. Then she went about tapping vigorously on the pad, looking up multiple resources. Her brow furrowed more as she stared at something.

  Then she exhaled audibly, and her eyes widened in apology and said, “All the paperwork is right.”

  I was about to argue, but she held up a hand to stop me. “I'll get to the bottom of this. There's no need for the recall, and it is specific to Glitch. There is one other Mark 2 left functioning in service dirtside, and it wasn't recalled. It doesn't make sense.”

  Sense? Speaking of sense, I sensed I might know the reason. Did they... did they know my pingers were self-aware? That they surpassed their programming and are evolving? I had flashes of Glitchy laying on a service floor somewhere torn to pieces as scientists and programmers went about debating on what made my pingers different.

  She reinforced her words. “I won't let anything happen to him.”

  I heard shaking and sparking behind me, poor Glitch was afraid. I shook my head. “I'm going with him then.”

  The man felt brave enough to speak again, “We have specific orders not to allow the tinker anywhere near the pinger.” Then he added, “Ma'am.” He pointed at the iso-pad, and she looked through the orders again.

  She almost growled then said with an apology in her tone again, “As they say, the orders are approved by Lady Peregrine.” She almost spit out the name of our leader for this ten year period. I had thought everyone loved Lady Peregrine, she was so glamorous and intelligent.

  Then she said, “You can come with me, Vega, we'll get to the bottom of this mess and bring Glitch home ourselves.”

  Glitch made a low, frightened sound. Vash turned to him with me. I hugged him tight saying, “Go with them. I won't let them hurt you. I'll get you back with me for dinner, just you wait and see.”

  He made a low oscillating sound that sounded an awful lot like, “Fixit?” I locked my eyes on his ocular port and said, “I love you, and won't let anything happen to you. I'll get you back Glitchy.”

  He wrapped his grappler around me in a hug, and he nodded. Then my girl surprised me by affirming my words. “Don't worry buddy, we'll get to the bottom of this flaterskelling pile of trollite if I have to go all the way to the... top.” She almost sneered out the word. What did she have against our leader?

  Glitch released me and nodded at her though he was still shaking. I kissed his ocular port and grabbed his grappler in my hand and started moving us toward Sanders' tumbril. The Sky Guards moved around him as he shook, and sparks drizzled from his access ports where he connected to his mobility platform.

  They had their stun sticks out. I snapped, “Don't hurt him.”

  The commander said, “We can't hurt it, it's just a pile of circuits and metal.”

  The female ranger said slowly to Glitch like he was a three-year-old or something, “Come this way.” He started shaking so hard I thought he'd start losing parts as he swiveled back to look at me as the woman led him onto the tumbril.

  He squealed my name again, and I broke down in tears, Vashon holding me. Then she growled at the man as he started to go. “If I hear you damaged him in any way, you'll be on betweener duty indefinitely.”

  He huffed and started to turn again, and her voice took on the frost of liquid hydrogen as she said, “And Commander if you ever lay a hand on my girl again our ranks will be put aside, and I'm coming for you. Is that understood.”

  Ok, that was sort of frightening, and the man had the good sense to go pale. Human civilization may have evolved over the past couple thousand years, but the necessity to keep order has resurfaced with a vengeance, because in space, so far from Old Terra, the universe was very unforgiving. And personal honor is key to maintaining that order. So the archaic system of dueling is the way of law now. It is non-lethal of course, we're not barbarians, but the loser of a duel is shunned by the system and looked down upon by all.

  Then she added, “We are Sky Guard, and we are better than this. We protect the people of Prime and every Primer, whether dirtside or topside deserves our respect.”

  The man digested that part, it looked as though he had been slapped, then he nodded understanding once and stood tall and saluted. “Ma'am.”

  She saluted back then boarded the tumbril. I could hear Fixit calling my name as the door shut and it broke my heart. He's been my friend my entire life.

  Vash said quickly, “Come on Vega. Let's go.” She grabbed my hand and started running us toward her tumbril.

  I called back to the boys, “We'll be back before you know it. We'll bring Glitch home!” I waved at the
m, and they all waved. The new pinger looked at them then me and hesitantly waved. As I was pulled into the sleek Sky Guard tumbril, I called out, “Blip, Wrongway, show our new arrival the ropes.”

  Blip blipped, and Wrongway saluted the air behind him... the silly boys.

  We were barely inside the airlock when the vessel took off smoothly and darted toward the Capitol city with its plasma drives whining.

  Chapter 5 – What Constitutes Life?

  We arrived at New Terra a few minutes later, I was so worried about Glitch that I forgot to marvel at the sleek ship I got to ride in for the very first time. That was another pleasure that was tainted for me, thanks to the bootwaffles topside.

  I was beginning to think the only redeeming thing they had to offer me was Vashon. I know that is a myopic view of the topsiders, and I have only been exposed to some people I did not care for. I'm sure they are the minority, and they are all more like Sanders and Vash.

  Vash docked us, not at the ring of docking ports at the perimeter of the great city with its soaring buildings and spires, but at the Capitol spire itself. This would be the second time in my life I have visited the floating cities, and this too was not for pleasure.

  Before I knew it, she was grabbing my hand and dragging me outside of the enclosed tumbril. Even my current distress didn't take away the same sense of shock and awe I had experience on seeing the city the first time. There was so much to look at, so many things vying for my attention, and the skies were just as crowded with public transportation and sports tumbrils, as the walkways at ground level were with people.

  I was on sensory overload trying to take it all in. There were public parks dotting the cityscape with their blue and green trees offering a bit of normalcy for me to latch on to. I was shaken out of it when Vash gave my hand a little squeeze.

  I muttered an apology, “It's just so much to see, it's overwhelming.”

  She said as she pulled me inside the building which was just as crowded inside as outside, “Just block it out and concentrate on one thing. Concentrate on me Fixie, and let's find out what in the name of the mother of all crystal is going on.”

  I nodded and smiled crookedly. I could do that. She was, after all, my favorite thing to look at. I blushed at my own thoughts and fixed my eyes on her. The brat was grinning as she led me through the corridors.

  She led me deftly through the maze of corridors, mag lifts and security desks to the Department of Sciences. I had a feeling she was being fed the location via her implants unless she was intimately familiar with its location in the half million square feet of labs and offices on the two hundred and twelfth floor.

  I hesitated and looked at her. Perhaps she was, I didn't know after all, just where such integrated cybernetic/organic integration would be performed on a Sky Guard captain. It certainly wouldn't be in one of the posh cyber implant boutiques they advertised on the waves I watched dirtside.

  “Be the first of your friends to sport the E38 fully immersive VR mod for your HaloView entertainment implant from SkyView. Be the cool mom of your child's holo-ball team, or the talk of the boardroom. Comes in violet or green.” I giggled at my thoughts.

  Vash smiled crookedly and looked down at me in question. “What, squirt?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing. Just thinking about you and my mind took a left turn.” She grinned, and I was pleased I amused her.

  We arrived at a heavily secured checkpoint separated by what looked like a wall of crystal-alloy five inches thick. I saw people bustling about in the corridors beyond. Some were moving fascinating looking equipment around using mag sleds. Ooo, what I wouldn't give to dig around in the stuff in there, I'm sure it is infinitely more advanced than the scraps they send down dirtside.

  Hell, I have found more advanced tech in the boneyard where it had just been discarded as junk on the surface of Prime, than what they supply our repair bays with. I've upgraded our systems multiple times with parts I scavenge there.

  That much crystal-alloy would survive a nuclear fission core meltdown. Were they expecting a war? Did they need to be protected from some sort of enemy attack? I cut my thought short as I thought of what the actual reason most likely was, and I swallowed. Perhaps it wasn't to keep things out, perhaps it was to contain that same core meltdown from inside the science department.

  She was scanned and granted access. She keyed something in the air, obviously on a virtual keypad that only she could see. I stepped through the body scanner, and it immediately buzzed red and violet warnings. Coherent photonic webs appeared in front of me, barring my advance through the doors.

  The two Federal Security soldiers perked up and stepped forward, hands now resting on the butts of what looked like plasma discharge rifles. One was turning away to mumble something in his com device as he looked at something on his wrist display. I swallowed again.

  Vash growled and said, “What the? I cleared you as my guest. Just a second.” She started tapping in the air again and paging through information with swipes of her finger in space. Then she narrowed her eyes to slits, and she turned to the Federals. “Why is Miss Hasher restricted from entry into the sciences wing?”

  A woman I would know anywhere stepped out of a sliding door across the busy corridor from her. It was the Director of Sciences for Prime, Anna Germaine! She was like a superhero to me. To be at the forefront of scientific research and development had to be about the most glamorous job in our planetary system, right?

  She said to my girl, “Maybe I can answer that for you Captain Peregradopolis. It's good to see you Vashon.” She started scanning Vash with an iso-pad. “How have you been doing? Are your implants still...”

  Vash placed a hand on the iso-pad and moved it away from her. “I'm not here for you to scan me without my permission, nor am I here because of my mods. Why is Miss Hasher being denied entry? Your department... recalled one of her pingers, and we are here to make sure he is treated humanely, and to find out what the hell is going on.”

  The woman looked confused. “The old malfunctioning Mark 2 pinger? Fascinating that one is. Your Miss Hasher is barred entry until we can determine what she has done to the compromise the unit.” Then she looked at us like we were daft. “Humanely? It's just a machine, a tool that is malfunctioning. We're just trying to figure out why.”

  I started to argue, how dare she belittle Glitch, “He has rights too! He's alive!”

  She cocked an eyebrow, and I lost all the respect I had for her as she said, “No IT isn't and no... IT does not. It is nothing but a collection of servos, bolts, and circuit boards. You are romanticizing it as more than the sum of its programming. The entire department has orders on this subject. Until we determine what you have done to the unit, you are barred entry into the labs.”

  I opened my mouth again but Vashon shot me a warning look to quiet me, and she asked Director Germaine, “Show me these orders.”

  The woman typed something on the iso-pad, and Vashon's eyes started tracking text on her heads up display that only she could see. She growled again in frustration and said, “I'll be taking this up with your superiors. We'll be in the Sky Guard lounge. Tread carefully and be sure you don't do irreparable damage to him.”

  The woman looked unimpressed at her implied threat, and my girl stomped back through the security gateway, shorting some of the still active photon barrier projectors, as they couldn't deal with her armor's defenses. She took my hand and dragged me off.

  But... Glitch was back there somewhere. She whispered to me as she pulled me along, “I'll protest this all the way back to Old Terra if we have to.”

  I nodded then thought of her threat to the other woman. Her superiors? That was only Parliament or Lady Peregrine herself.

  She led me through another maze of floors and corridors, we wound up down on the ninety-ninth floor in a spacious room that had seating areas everywhere, and what looked like a cafeteria on one end.

  She authorized me to come through the security checkpoint which was
behind a crystal-alloy wall not nearly as impressive as the containment one up at the science department. This one was only a couple millimeters thick.

  Then she guided me to a comfortable looking seating area away from the various Sky Guard personnel dotting the space. They were either eating or conversing with each other. She keyed a white noise cone generator that enclosed our area, giving us some privacy.

  Then she looked at me as we sat. I asked, “Is he going to be ok? I just want to bring him home.” I missed the feel of the planet under my feet. I really didn't like the floating cities very much, my only experiences so far have been negative. The waves always make them look so glamorous and welcoming.

  She cupped my cheek. “I'll do everything in my power to make sure of it. First I have to find out what exactly is going on and why they really wanted Glitch up here. Nothing is tracking right.”

  I nodded, and she started frantically typing in the air as she hugged me to her with her other hand.

  She had been pulling up information and making calls, sending requests and cussing for almost an hour when she huffed out in exasperation. She growled out to me as she closed her eyes in resignation, “There is one more call I can make.”

  Then someone stepped into our privacy cone. I looked up to see Anna Germaine with a scowl on her pretty face. Her blonde hair was now pulled up into a tight bun, and she wore a white lab coat with what looked like burn marks on it, and yellow safety glasses. Her dark eyes were almost glowering at me as she said, “Miss Hasher, I need you to come with me.”

  Vash stood up between us and asked, “Why?”

  The woman huffed then said, “The unit is being... difficult. We can't get it to uplink with our systems, and it is actively resisting us doing a direct connection. Our resonance scans are showing radical changes to its base design, and we cannot deactivate it without damaging it first.”

  I sprang to my feet. “Don't deactivate him! That will kill him!”

  She shook her head almost sadly as if she were speaking to a simpleton. “It cannot be killed because it is not alive. You keep humanizing it. We need you to come up to explain what you did to it to make it operate contrary to its programming, and get it to listen so that we can proceed with our work.”