Courting Mr. Emerson

by Melody Carlson

  He checked his watch to see it was still a bit early to head out, but he wanted a good seat. For him that meant on the aisle in a lower row. George disliked sitting in the bleachers almost as much as he disliked being stuck in the midst of a crowd. He suspected he suffered from claustrophobia, because he hated tight spaces. An overly crowded room always felt unbearably hot to him—even in winter. And it always felt like there was insufficient air. During school assemblies, he would simply stand on the sidelines, as if to guard the exit, until the program ended.

  George stepped outside, locked his front door and, as usual, checked it twice. He glanced furtively over his shoulder to see if Lorna was lurking nearby. To his relief, she was nowhere to be seen. So he slipped down the front steps and headed off to the high school. It was a balmy evening, warm enough that he should’ve worn a summer-weight suit. But if he wanted to get a good seat, it was too late to go back and change.

  Not many people were in the gymnasium by the time he arrived, and to his relief it was still fairly cool. He knew how hot and steamy it would become before the service was over. Especially up in the nosebleed seats. But a number of smart people, like him, had arrived early to secure the best seats. Many of them were elderly or unable to scale the bleacher steps, and already the bottom row was filling up.

  George exchanged greetings with a couple of fellow teachers then took an aisle seat in the second row, close to the rear exit. To fill the time, he proceeded to read the program. If he’d had a pen on him, he might’ve edited it. Only a few tiny typos, but it didn’t reflect well on the academia of the school. Well, he doubted many people would notice. Certainly not the students. And probably not their parents, either.

  George watched as people began pouring into the gymnasium. A few hurried to get seats, and his bleacher row was quickly filling up, but most of the people looked uncertain, meandering about with questioning looks until an usher pointed them in a specific direction. But it was the woman in the white lacy dress that caught George’s eye. Her beads, bracelets, and earrings made for a gypsy-like appearance, but the porcelain complexion and strawberry-blonde hair piled carelessly on her head suggested something altogether different.

  George was caught off guard when Willow lifted her hand. Was that wave meant for him? Had he been staring at her? Had she noticed? George gave a cautious wave and Willow’s face broke into a wide smile as she came directly over. “Room for one more?” she asked pleasantly.

  “Certainly.” He stood and moved aside so she could sit down. He knew that was the gentlemanly thing to do, but in all honesty he simply wanted to preserve his spot on the aisle. And now that his row was full, he needn’t worry. “How are you doing?” he asked politely.

  “I’m fine, thank you. Although it’s been a busy day.”

  “Lots going with graduation preparations?”

  “Yes. And then my daughter showed up out of the blue. That sort of threw me for a loop.”

  “Your daughter? Is that Collin’s mother?”

  “Yes. She and her boyfriend arrived this afternoon. I wasn’t expecting them and didn’t have anything ready.” She fanned herself with the program. “I’ve been scrambling to get it together. Getting them bedding and linens and whatnot. Then making a fast grocery store run. My, it feels good to sit down.”

  “Are they here?”

  She explained they’d been up all night and were too tired, but he suspected by her expression that she had her doubts. “They’ll come to graduation tomorrow.”

  “Was Collin happy to see his mother?”

  “He hasn’t actually seen her yet.” She frowned. “To be honest, I’m a bit worried. He wasn’t too happy to hear she’d come.”

  “That must be difficult.”

  She nodded. “I wish I’d had more warning. I could’ve prepared him better. And I don’t know what he’ll think of the boyfriend.”

  “Is he the one who’s in the grunge band?”

  “Yes, and you know how conservative Collin is. I don’t know how that will go.” Her eyes lit up. “George, would you do me a gigantic favor?”

  George blinked. “What do you have in mind?”

  “I told Collin we’d have a little celebration tomorrow night. You know, after graduation. It’s really just my way to get him to spend some time with his mother. I thought if I invited a few people, well, it might sort of soften things. Unfortunately, Collin doesn’t have many friends.” She placed a hand on his arm. “George, if you would come, I would be so grateful. And I know Collin would be pleased.”

  “Well, I, uh . . . I suppose I could come by.”

  Her face brightened. “Thank you so much.”

  The school orchestra began to play and the seniors started to file in, filling the chairs down on the gym floor. Before long the principal welcomed everyone, and a clergyman opened with a prayer.

  As the service continued, George was aware of two things. He wasn’t suffering too badly from his usual claustrophobia, and it felt unexpectedly reassuring to have Willow next to him. He wondered if the two things were somehow connected. As a result, the service didn’t drag on as long as he recalled from the past.

  “That was very nice,” Willow said at the conclusion.

  “Yes.” He nodded, watching as the crowd began to fill the floor of the gymnasium. “And now, if you’ll excuse me, I, uh, I feel the need to get outside in the fresh air.”

  “So do I.” Willow stayed with him, navigating the crowd until they were finally exiting the stuffy room. “Oh, it feels much better out here.”

  “You don’t like crowds?” George asked.

  “Not so much.” She inhaled deeply. “It’s funny because I used to love being packed in like sardines for a concert or event. But the older I got, the less I liked it. This wasn’t so bad tonight, but it felt awfully warm in there.” She fanned herself with the program. “Although it’s lovely out here.” She smiled at George. “We’re supposed to have the same good weather all weekend. I’m so glad you agreed to come to our little soirée after graduation tomorrow night. I plan to have it out on the terrace.”

  “Terrace?”

  “Outside my apartment.” She grinned. “It’s actually the rooftop, but I’ve turned it into an outdoor space.” She tapped his lapel. “And it will be casual dress, so please wear something comfortable.”

  He wanted to say that suits were comfortable . . . to him.

  “I plan to be barefoot.”

  “Barefoot?” George grimaced. Did she expect him to do the same?

  She laughed. “Don’t fret, George, I won’t make you shed your shoes. But warm nights like this just make me long to be barefoot.” She stretched her arms toward the sky. “Kind of like skinny-dipping—it’s so freeing.”

  George felt alarmed. What sort of woman was this?

  “Dear me, I’m afraid I’ve shocked you.” She smiled coyly. “But don’t you worry, we’ll all be properly clothed tomorrow night. I promise.” Willow waved to someone behind him. “There’s Collin now. And Marissa too.”

  George stayed long enough to greet Collin and Marissa and then, excusing himself as if he had someplace he needed to be, he went on his way. But as he slowly walked home, he wished he’d lingered a bit longer. What was wrong with visiting with friends on a warm summer evening? Willow probably thought her talk of bare feet, skinny-dipping, and such had unhinged him. And maybe it had . . . momentarily. But he’d recovered.

  Well, he’d just have to make up for tonight’s lack of sociability at tomorrow night’s celebration. Perhaps he would even “dress casually,” whatever that meant. After all, he usually wore a short-sleeved shirt and khaki pants when he mowed the lawn or did chores. Perhaps something like that would work.

  As he went into his house, he reminded himself that the party was to honor Collin’s graduation, which probably meant that George should bring him a gift. Although he had no idea what that would be. Anyway, that would have to wait until tomorrow afternoon since Friday was still a school day. Wh
y they bothered to hold classes was a mystery to George. What with senior skip day and the school feeling more like a zoo than a place of learning, it wasn’t as if the students gained anything from the “last day of school.” But at least George could console himself—it truly would be the last day of school . . . for him.

  Willow didn’t know what to expect as she and Collin went upstairs to their apartments, but for some reason she hadn’t expected to smell smoke.

  “Is there a fire?” Collin asked with concern.

  “Goodness, I hope not. I don’t hear any smoke alarms.” She quickly unlocked her door and sniffed. “Not in here. Let’s check your apartment.”

  “Seems okay to me.” Collin turned to her. “Where is my mom staying?”

  Willow pointed to apartment number four, then knocked on the door. “I don’t know if there’s a smoke alarm in there,” she told Collin. When no one answered, she pulled out her key, unlocked the door, and opened it to see smoke. “Hello?” she yelled with concern. “Anybody here?” As she and Collin burst into the apartment, she recognized the smell. “Are you smoking pot?” she demanded as she spotted her “guests” in the living room. Josie was in the chair and Garth was lounging on the mattress that was still on the floor.

  “Doesn’t anyone knock around here?” Josie asked.

  “I did knock,” Willow told her. “But we smelled smoke and got worried.” She glanced around. “And I realized there’s no smoke alarm up here.”

  “Good thing.” Garth laughed. “We might’ve set it off.”

  “I don’t want you guys smoking,” Willow told them.

  “Really?” Josie narrowed her eyes. “For your information, we’re adults.”

  “I know. But I don’t want you to smoke in here. For one thing there’s no smoke alarm and this is an old building. Our apartments share walls and a fire would be devastating to everyone. Not to mention the gallery below.” Willow went into the kitchen to turn on the fan above the stove. Then to the bathroom where she turned on another fan. She felt seriously aggravated. Not only had they been smoking pot, the apartment was a mess with their stuff thrown all about and wet towels tossed on the bathroom floor as if they expected “housekeeping” to show up. Still, she knew it would do no good to lose her temper.

  “What are you doing?” Josie asked with irritation.

  “Just letting some air inside,” Willow told her.

  “Why are you so mad?” Josie frowned. “In case you haven’t heard, pot is legal in Oregon. What’s the big deal?”

  “Like I said, I don’t want any kind of smoking in here. Not cigarettes or joints or anything that burns. If you need to smoke, you’ll have to go outside. I want you and Garth to make yourselves at home—and it appears you’re doing so—but please respect the rules. No smoking.” She lowered her voice. “And keep in mind that your son is here.”

  “No, he’s not.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He left without even saying hello. Bad manners, if you ask me.”

  Willow had to bite her tongue. “Well, he’s probably worn out. There’s been a lot going on this week. Tomorrow’s senior skip day and he probably wants to get to bed now.”

  “Right.” Josie scowled at her. “Maybe we shouldn’t have come.”

  “Maybe you should’ve given us more notice,” Willow told her. “Anyway, let’s not worry about that anymore.” She placed a hand on Josie’s shoulder. “I’m actually very glad you’re here, honey. It’s wonderful to see you. But, please, do not smoke in here. Take it outside. Can you make sure Garth understands that too?”

  Josie just shrugged.

  “I have some spare smoke alarms.” Willow went into the living room. “I’ll get one and put it up. It’s actually required by law, but because no one was using this apartment, I hadn’t installed it yet. I’ll be right back.” Although Willow had extra smoke alarms still in their boxes, she decided to get one from her apartment to save time. While she was there, she put together a bag of groceries that she’d gotten for them before going to baccalaureate. Just some basics and snack foods, but hopefully it would show them that she really did want them here.

  To her relief it smelled less smoky when she returned to the apartment. Garth had disappeared and Josie was digging through a backpack. “I have some food for you guys.” Willow set the bag down. “Some things should be refrigerated.” When Josie didn’t respond or come over, Willow used this opportunity to set the smoke alarm on top of a kitchen cabinet—out of sight just in case someone tried to disable it. “I’ll go ahead and put the orange juice and milk and cheese away,” Willow called out as she removed items from the bag. “I figured you guys would want to do some meals on your own.”

  “So you just want us to stay in our room like naughty children?” Josie’s tone was sarcastic. “Out of sight, out of mind?”

  “Not at all.” Willow smiled. “In fact, you’re welcome to come to my apartment for meals if you’d like. I thought I’d make us a simple dinner before graduation tomorrow night. And then we’ll be having a little party after graduation. Just snacks and dessert. Out on the terrace.”

  “There’s a terrace?”

  “Yes, but it’s only accessible from my apartment.” Willow made her way to the door. “But you’re welcome to use it, honey. In fact, I’ll put an ashtray out there.”

  “If it’s not too much trouble.” Again with the sarcasm.

  Willow reached for Josie’s hand. “I know that you and I have had our problems, Josie. But as I’ve said before, I’m sorry that I wasn’t a better mother.”

  “You mean by abandoning me to my grandparents for the first thirteen years of my life?”

  “I was barely nineteen when you were born, Josie. And not very mature. It took me a while to grow up. Trust me, I would’ve made a terrible mother during your early childhood.” Willow wanted to point out that she’d been raising Josie’s son for most of his life, but she knew that would get them nowhere. “I hope someday you’ll be able to forgive me.”

  Josie shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It matters to me.” Willow was still holding her hand and attempted to hug her, but Josie ducked away. “Well, I’ll leave you to it then. Unless you want to visit some more tonight. If so, feel free to come to my apartment. I don’t usually go to bed until elevenish.”

  Willow felt a cloak of sadness as she returned to her apartment. Josie was thirty-five but still acted like an adolescent, and Willow was afraid that she was to blame for most of it. She made a cup of jasmine tea and took it out to the terrace, mulling over the years and how they’d gotten stuck in this frustrating place. Would they ever get beyond it?

  Willow knew Josie still held it against her that she’d spent her first thirteen years with her grandparents then been removed from their home against her will. When Josie was a baby, it felt like the best solution to leave her with Willow’s parents. It allowed Willow time to go to college . . . and grow up. And even though Willow’s parents weren’t exactly conventional, they had a comfortable home, a source of income, and food in the fridge. Willow’s mother had been delighted to take in her granddaughter. So much so that a few years later, when Willow had gotten her bachelor’s degree and a job and finally felt ready to raise her child, her parents refused.

  Her mother had insisted that Josie, who was about to start school, was better off with them. She had friends and a puppy . . . and “no child should be raised in a smelly city.” After much discussion, they persuaded Willow to let them continue to raise Josie. And to be fair, Josie looked perfectly happy with them.

  It wasn’t until shortly after Willow married Asher—and Josie had become a smart-mouthed adolescent—that Willow’s parents suddenly changed their minds. They’d already been through Willow’s wild teenage years and weren’t eager to do it again. Naturally, Josie had been angry to leave her friends and move to the Bay Area.

  Willow had tried to be a good mother. She’d exposed Josie to all the culture San Franci
sco had to offer. And Asher, although claiming he was too old to parent, had done his best as well. But the middle school years were a never-ending battle. Josie seemed determined to be miserable—and since misery loved company, she was determined to drag Willow and Asher along for the ride. Admittedly, their parenting skills weren’t top-notch, but not for lack of trying. Willow was constantly encouraging Josie to try new activities—whether it was art or theater or dance or martial arts. Josie would go to a few sessions then either get kicked out or refuse to go. By the time she was fifteen, Josie was so defiant and disrespectful that Willow worried she’d wind up incarcerated. Despite thousands of dollars spent on counseling and therapy, and various labels applied, Josie pulled farther and farther away.

  During the counseling years, two labels were routinely attached to Josie. Borderline and narcissistic personality disorder, depending on the therapist. Although Willow had been opposed to medical treatment, she eventually gave in to the psychiatrist. Naturally, Josie used this as an excuse for abusing drugs, although she later confessed that she’d already been using. After getting kicked out of school during her junior year, Josie had begged to get her GED and move out with some friends. When she threatened to run away and live on the streets, Willow had given in. For a while, Josie’s life seemed to improve some. She actually got her GED and a barista job. Then she met Zeke . . . and got pregnant. Willow had encouraged Josie to let her baby be adopted by a loving family. But Josie had insisted she and Zeke could handle it, and for almost a year they did. But a few months after Collin was born, it had all unraveled. Drugs entered the picture, a social worker was called, and Collin was removed from their home.

  At Josie’s request Collin was “temporarily” placed with Willow and Asher—and for the next few years he was bounced back and forth. When Josie was doing “well” she would convince the court she was ready to be a responsible parent. And then it would fall apart. Finally, when Collin was almost four, Josie ran off to become a full-time band groupie, and the court awarded full custody to Willow and Asher. Although it hadn’t been exactly easy becoming full-time parents, it had been well worth it. Collin, who appeared to have been “born old,” had never been a problem. He and Asher became the best of friends. Willow really had nothing to complain about in that regard. Collin had enriched their lives.